"Look at my bad temper" is a popular phrase on the Internet and TV series in recent years. Of course, there are such people in real life. This is the case with our client Mr. Li.
Mr. Li and his girlfriend Fenger are classmates who have been in love for many years. They have been lovers since high school and fell in love for seven years after graduating from college. Judging from Mr. Li's evaluation of his "devil wears Prada", of course, it is not that he has a personality problem, but that he has achieved very good results in school and just stepped into society, which is regarded as "someone else's child", but his temper is too bad. It's okay at school, but when you step into the society, because the pressure may be greater, more negative emotions will erupt. Facing the leadership of colleagues, you can be patient and respect. However, it will amplify the accumulation of this emotion and directly explode it to his girlfriend Fenger after returning home.
Fenger has just graduated, and she is under a lot of pressure. Because of these trivial things, there are many conflicts between them.
Later, Mr. Li was appreciated by his boss at work. Coincidentally, both of them are alumni of Fudan University. Mr. Li felt that he and his supervisor had many topics, and they gradually became good friends and often ate and chatted together.
Although both of them are men, some women are like this. Because of this kind of thing, Fenger is often jealous, complaining that Mr. Li doesn't care about his own care, and later mocking Mr. Li, saying that both of them can go to England to get married.
So the two began to quarrel for three days, and quarreled for two days. Finally, Fenger broke up angrily. Mr. Li was angry for more than a week and didn't contact. When he finally contacted, he found himself blacked out and wanted to cry. So I made a lot of mistakes that many people can make to make up for them. Bombed by SMS, I changed countless numbers, hoping to get in touch with each other in one sentence. Unfortunately, things didn't go as expected.
Although it may only be a matter of time before such an emotional breakup, it would be a pity to watch the process. What such a relationship needs must be breaking off diplomatic relations. What do you know about disconnection?
Every brother's situation is different, and there will be many differences in details. The situation of lovelorn has both sex and personality. Therefore, what can really achieve the purpose of recovery must be a concrete analysis of the specific situation and done step by step.
Doing is not equal to doing right, let alone doing well. Then let's talk about several specific experiences and misunderstandings of recovery according to this case, and try to let those brothers who are on the road to recovery take fewer detours.
First of all, there must be a certain degree of disconnection.
In fact, in most recovery situations, you need to disconnect first. Because we met too many brothers who came to ask for help, we were very anxious in the previous recovery process, which led us to do a lot of impulsive things.
For example, begging, retaining, saying nice things, harassing girls by sending messages and calling, and even blocking girls at the gate of girls' companies are all great harm to girls' only good feelings for boys when they just broke up.
So in this case, it is necessary to disconnect for two purposes:
1. Calm down.
I can understand the feelings of brothers who have just been lovelorn or denied by girls. Many years ago, I did too many impulsive actions to save my love, and the worse the effect, the more extreme it was, leading to a vicious circle.
So now that my brother has found our team, first of all, we will help him calm down, slowly analyze what the problem is, and then find the right solution.
Because most love breakups are caused by the man's wrong thinking and way in love, we should correct them and solve the root causes.
Calm down
Imagine a scene where two people are quarreling, especially the woman. To say the least, even if it is the woman's fault, will the girl immediately "second date" with you? Obviously not.
Even if the woman already knows that you are aware of your mistake, will she immediately "second date" with you? Obviously not, because everyone needs steps, especially women, because women's emotions have not yet come down.
What's more, too many brothers and girlfriends broke up, which made the previous atmosphere too bad. Without a calm process, how can girls open their hearts to accept you after the change?
Breaking off diplomatic relations is the first step for many brothers. However, many brothers are extremely anxious to save themselves, even in a state of collapse and helplessness. They know that there is no point in rushing to contact again, and they don't know what to say, but there is nothing they can do.
Our team will judge the disconnection time according to the specific situation of each brother.
For example, I have had contact with girls before, and there is not much contradiction. Just because the girls are disappointed with your low EQ and break up peacefully, or because the long-distance relationship is too far away and the man's framework is too weak to control the relationship, we suggest not to freeze it for too long.
Because there are not too many contradictions, a sudden disconnection for too long will make the girl's inexplicable atmosphere cold. Even let girls think that you have given up, which will bring unnecessary trouble to recovery.
In some cases of recovery, we will ask students to contact in the shortest two or three days. However, brothers can't deepen the chat content of the course within a few days, so the tutor team must help brothers chat, help brothers stabilize their relationship, buy time for change and promotion, and don't lose sight of one thing.
In another extreme example, the woman's view of the man changed from disappointment to disgust, and even was hacked.
This is because many brothers use their own thinking of straight male cancer to find ways to save it, bombard girls with information, and even use the relationship between many friends and others to find ways. The output of all kinds of information has exceeded the acceptance of girls. In order to avoid harassment, the woman can't bear to hack all the contact information.
In this case, my brother's mood is extremely helpless, but there is nothing he can do.
Many times, our suggestion is to disconnect the network for a long time, which is not surprising that it takes a month. This also combines the rehabilitation experience that happened to me many years ago. It is better to be completely calm than to make things worse. At that time, using traditional thinking to save it was only one point away from being hacked. After that, we should look for opportunities to re-establish contact.
This is what many brothers don't understand the most. How can I get in touch after worrying for so long? First of all, in this case, if you don't make a relatively long-term diplomatic break, even if you get in touch, it doesn't make any sense.
Now that you have put yourself in the worst situation, you should prepare for the worst. This process and follow-up methods, the mentor team will accompany you through.
There are many ways to contact again, such as meeting, adding friends, knowing friends through * * *, and knowing related events through * * *. There is no fixed method for this, because we need to collect a lot of information about students and girls and find a breakthrough point.
We have been apart for a long time, and the brothers are most worried that the girl has run away with others. This kind of worry is the most unnecessary, because you have let the girls down extremely before. Why can't others contact other men who are better than you?
If you don't become stronger, improve and change completely, and have no fundamental self-confidence, it is naturally all kinds of worries, and this self-confidence also means that you are not prepared at all.
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