The phrase "icing on the cake is easy, but it is difficult to send charcoal in the snow" in Augmented Xianwen states that "when you have money, everyone will come to make friends with you, but when you are in trouble, no one will help you". Mother-in-law's care during a daughter-in-law's labor is like giving timely help. Her daughter-in-law is naturally "warm in the cold winter" and is doubly grateful to you.
Except for one case, you took care of your mother-in-law and her mother-in-law, but you didn't care. During her pregnancy and labor, she had trouble finding her daughter-in-law and made her life miserable. At this time, the relationship between your mother-in-law and your daughter-in-law instantly fell to zero. What your daughter-in-law thought was not gratitude, but "resentment in the heart, waiting for the snow in winter."
Reader case:
Wan Ru has been married for more than two years, and has been having a bad time with her mother-in-law. Wan Ru is a woman in the new era, with her own career and strong independence. Most of her thoughts are on herself, and a few are at home. My mother-in-law has an old idea. She believes that when a woman marries someone, she should be a full-time housewife and serve her husband and family wholeheartedly, otherwise she will not be a good wife or a good woman.
Inconsistency of ideas and concepts, contradictions between two people are indispensable. In order to avoid unpleasant things with her mother-in-law, Wan Ru bought a new house soon after her marriage and stayed out of trouble.
Out of sight, out of mind, not often together, contradictions will end and life will be better. It was Wan Ru's idea. Unfortunately, the idea is good, but she ignores the fact that she is pregnant.
After learning that she was pregnant, Wan Ru quit her job and devoted herself to raising the children. The belly is getting bigger every day, which makes it more inconvenient for Wan Ru to move. Husband is better at home, and life is particularly sad when he is on a business trip or at work.
Seeing his wife like this, he was really distressed, so Wan Ru's husband invited his mother to take care of him. Wan Ru was very grateful when her mother-in-law first entered the door. She is a reasonable daughter-in-law, knowing that her mother-in-law has no obligation to take care of her. Therefore, since she became pregnant, she has not forced her mother-in-law to take care of her.
But with the days of getting along too long, the problem comes. Mother-in-law has three vegetarian noodle soup meals a day, and there is nothing fishy. Wan Ru is particularly unaccustomed to eating it. She asked her mother-in-law why she ate vegetarian dishes three times a day. Mother-in-law responded: "I used to come like this myself. I didn't eat a piece of meat during pregnancy, and my son was fat in vain. "
Mother-in-law's words are true, but she also said that it was before, and few families could afford meat before. Who can't afford meat now? Nutrition can't keep up, and the imbalance between vegetarian food and meat food is not conducive to the healthy growth of children. Wan Ru told her mother-in-law what she thought, but her mother-in-law always went her own way.
In the sixth month of pregnancy, Wan Ru couldn't stand vegetable noodle soup all day and complained to her husband. Wan Ru's husband said he wanted to understand his mother-in-law, but she had no bad idea.
One night, Wan Ru was lying on the sofa. There was a quarrel in her mother-in-law's bedroom. Listen carefully. It turned out that my mother-in-law was on the phone. Vaguely, Wan Ru heard her mother-in-law say this:
My daughter-in-law is so spoiled that she asks me for meat every day and complains to me if she doesn't give it. Old man, it's too hard for me to be here. She doesn't understand me at all. We used to eat noodles every day instead of meat, but it didn't make our son fat, healthy and smart in vain.
Don't speak for her, old man. I'm telling you, you have to show her this time. You can't spoil her. My son doesn't make much money. According to your idea, how much will it cost me to make food and drink? Just save this money to buy milk powder for our unborn grandson. It's a waste to spend on her.
Blue and angry, Wan Ru quietly returned to the bedroom, stroking his undulating chest. When the husband saw it, he asked, "What's the matter? Do you want to go to the hospital? "
Wan Ru, with a straight face, said coldly, "My good mother-in-law complains that I am spoiled, saying that I want to eat meat every day, but I still complain to her if I don't eat meat. I only said it once. Where did I say it twice? Isn't this wrong? "
Husband softly comforted: "Don't think too much, you must have misheard. Mom wouldn't say that. "
Slightly excited, Wan Ru raised his voice: "I heard wrong. The voice of her calling her father-in-law reached the living room. Of course, you didn't hear it when you were hiding in the bedroom. "
Seeing his wife's emotional uncertainty, he didn't know how to comfort her. He asked, "She is my mother. I can't kick her out. What do you want to do? "
Wan Ru told her husband what he wanted to do, and he frowned and shook his head. Wan Ru was annoyed and said angrily, "If you don't promise me, I will really leave you."
Early the next morning, my mother-in-law served vegetarian noodle soup and fried two dishes. Wan Ru looked at the food in front of her and felt sick. Ignoring her husband's wink, she picked up a bowl full of noodle soup and threw it on the floor. With a look of disgust and anger, she pointed to her mother-in-law and said, "Mother-in-law, if you put noodle soup in front of me again, I will divorce your son. I've had enough. I am not good to you. You said I was spoiled. I will show you my face today. If you don't believe me, we'll see. I am the grandson in your belly. If you make me angry, he will not be your grandson. "
The mother-in-law was shocked first, then stunned, and finally turned into anger and reprimanded her daughter-in-law: "If you dislike my cooking, don't eat it. Which daughter-in-law throws things at her mother-in-law like you? If you don't want to go, it's not pleasing to the eye. "
Seeing two women at war, as a son and husband, he had to stand up and say to his mother, "Mom, is she pregnant?" If you are in a bad mood, can't you be considerate and do as she says? "
"Why? Didn't I eat vegetarian noodle soup when I was pregnant with you? At that time, there was no food. Have I ever complained? Besides, weren't you fat for nothing when you were a child? Why can't you stand bad food when you come to her? If you spoil her again, you will have no good life. Mom is good for you. "
Mother looked innocent, and he didn't know what to say. Wan Ru took it: "You also said that it was before, what was it before, and what is it now? Can it be the same? Grandma, I'll tell you today. If you don't change vegetarian noodle soup and vegetarian dishes for me, I'll change them for him. "
Seeing his wife say this, he said, "Mom, do you want me to get a divorce? If you don't want to, do as your daughter-in-law asks. If you don't want to wait, I'll find a nanny to keep her waiting. "
I silently calculated the money for the nanny, and my face was a little unhappy. I said, "How much does that cost? No Tell you what, three meals a day, two meats and one vegetarian. Tell me what you want to eat in the future, can't I buy it for you? "
When her mother-in-law compromised, Wan Ru was very happy, and Wan Ru's husband was also relieved. However, Wan Ru still kept a straight face, so as not to let her mother-in-law see her little thoughts, and said coldly, "I won't argue with you either, but we'll talk about it later. If you go back on your word, whether you want to have a baby or not, I will divorce. "
With these words, Wan Ru went back to the bedroom and left the door open. Her eyes secretly stared at the direction of the living room. She saw her mother-in-law's face livid and pointed at her husband, but she said it in a low voice and didn't hear it.
In the later days, life in Wan Ru was much better, instead of eating simple noodle soup every day. My mother-in-law's face has been in a bad mood since that quarrel.
Seeing this, some friends may think that in order to have a good meal, there is no need to be so stiff with her mother-in-law. In fact, you didn't see what Wan Ru really thought.
Wan Ru's mother-in-law called her his wife. She was dissatisfied with Wan Ru, had plans for Wan Ru, and had plans for her grandson after his birth. These three points just let Wan Ru's heart drop to freezing point, and the gratitude when her mother-in-law came before was abruptly erased by these three points.
The reason why she smashed bowls and dishes and threatened to get a divorce was to get out of this tone and not be led by her. Wan Ru also said hello to her husband in advance, and made his thoughts clear. Of course, her husband didn't agree, but he couldn't resist Wan Ru's pre-attack and had to cooperate with her.
The love between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is based on the harmonious coexistence and mutual friendship between the two sides. If the mother-in-law is worse when her daughter-in-law is killed, she will naturally be targeted by her daughter-in-law Nowadays, few daughters-in-law repay kindness with evil. Most daughters-in-law have revenge and good temper.
As a mother-in-law, you can ignore the difficulties of your daughter-in-law and son, and they won't say anything without reaching out to help. After all, your responsibility is to be responsible until your son comes of age. But if you care about your mother-in-law and mother-in-law and lend your hand to help, then you can't add another fire when two people are in trouble, otherwise your daughter-in-law will hate you and your son's marriage will not be too satisfactory.
The purpose of writing this article is only one, that is, to warn some mother-in-law: love is beyond the law. If you take care of your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the daughter-in-law will naturally be kind to you, won't hold a grudge against you, and your old age will not be too bad. On the contrary, your deliberate difficulties will become the source of your daughter-in-law's resentment against you, and your old age will not be easy.