Why does a man always care about his lover's past? The reason is, first of all, a "virgin superstition". If it is not the first one, is it a bit of "garbage" that others don't want? This is about a man's dignity.
Secondly, it is based on a strong "personal possessiveness". He wants not only her present and future, but also her past. Once this "possessiveness" expands violently, even the normal communication between family, colleagues and friends will be criticized by him.
Once again, because men take it for granted that they should know their lover's past. Ask her to see if what she has done is in line with the regulations. Even a fairly generous man will subconsciously ask questions for fear that some unpleasant things will bring lifelong regret. Interestingly, women are more open-minded at this point. They are more concerned about the present and future of their lovers, so they will be more tolerant of men from all over the world.
When I meet a suspicious man, I will take pains to ask a woman about her past privacy. If the woman says one thing, he will continue to let her say the second and third things. Faced with this situation, even if there is something in the past, women have to take it lightly and never "confess" like bamboo beans. The result of a woman's answer may be crucial for some men.
Many men say to women, "Never mind, I love you now and don't care about your past." In fact, this is a completely self-deceiving lie. Men always care about their girlfriends' past.
There is a love story in the novel "Tree of Life" by modern Japanese writer Gao Jianshun: a bar girl made a boyfriend and tried to find out that she had a lover in the past, and she cut her down. So, when the man dreamed that she was sleeping with her old lover at night, he rudely woke her up and asked, "You have been thinking about him. There must be something special about him that attracts you! " The waitress said sadly, "He just cut my face, but you are more cruel than him!" " "Many men, after their relationship with their lovers has developed to a certain extent, will ask," Who did you like before you and I came and went? "What does he do?" "How long ago was that? To what extent has your relationship developed? " This tone of questioning is sometimes as fierce as a criminal policeman who is "different from complicated and confusing", but sometimes it is as soft as a kind grandmother. This is the man! Where does this obsession with women's past come from?
When two people are in love, women are not interested in exploring men's past, while men are interested in women's past, and they will not be willing to ask the truth. Why do men have such psychological behavior?
First, it shows that men are more jealous than women. Some people think that jealousy is a woman's patent, which is really wrong. Many men are more jealous than women. Shakespeare has a famous play called Othello, in which the protagonist Othello strangled his wife alive because he suspected that she was seeing another man.
Second, men have a strong desire for exclusivity. If she is his girlfriend now, but the man is not satisfied with this monopoly, even her "past" wants to be his own, even though she knows it is unrealistic, she insists. If this desire reaches the point where evil prevails, it will produce some abnormal phenomena. For example, when his girlfriend is close to his family and friends, he looks unhappy, even if she likes a pointed dog, he will pull his face down. In other words, she is only allowed to care about him, and it is best not to care about anyone except him at all. The result of this almost abnormal psychology is sometimes scary. Gabriele Dannunzio, an Italian symbolist poet, described such a hero in his masterpiece "Victory of Death"-he forced her to double suicide with himself in order to possess the heroine forever. Many contemporary young intellectuals are very afraid of having children after they get married and set up a career. They think that once they have children, their wives will transfer most of their feelings to them, which they are unwilling to do. Many men actually think that children are the "third party" that affects the relationship between husband and wife. It can be seen that men's possessiveness is so amazing.
Third, many men think it is their right to explore their girlfriends' past, so they ask women about their past in every way without feeling narrow-minded and embarrassed. Such men abound. Women only focus on the present and future of their boyfriends. Although they are also interested in their past, they are not only as curious as men. They may think, "Even if he had an affair in the past, what if he clung to it?" Not in vain! "The reason why women can have this kind of tolerance is mainly because the social tolerance for men has affected them. Traditional social concepts are not so strict with men. Men can have several wives, go to brothels and hold women's horns, so that women can only turn a blind eye to men's affairs and be satisfied with being good to themselves. Modern women's understanding of men still has the shadow of the past. To say that there is progress, men are required to be relatively quiet now and in the future, while men's past is generally ignored. However, the traditional society is so strict with women that there are still a large number of men who think they have the right to know all the life experiences of their loved ones. So we can often see the phenomenon that a very good girl can marry a man who used to be very poor, but a man will not marry a woman who used to be very poor but is very good now. That is to say, women's "easy virtue" or unruly behavior is intolerable to men, and there is a socially recognized concept in men's minds: the wife a man marries must be pure in the past, present and future.
Inquiring about a woman's past, whether to ask a few words lightly or to pursue them in hot pursuit, depends on the man's personality. A man with a sinister and narrow personality will probably stick to his mouth and talk endlessly. When a woman "confesses" one thing, he immediately asks for the second thing, does the second thing, and forces her to do the third thing, one step at a time, one step at a time, and he will not rest.
Nowadays, many magazines often receive such questions from some young women: "Should I confess my past mistakes to each other?" The result of confession is likely to be more trouble. Of course, the most ideal method should be to confess to each other before marriage, and then talk about marriage after understanding. Even so, cruel facts often break the dreams of many innocent girls! It is not uncommon for a man to hear his wife's confession before marriage, but his feelings are shaken. In the novel Tess of the D 'Urbervilles, the protagonist left home that night after hearing the story of Tess's chastity on her wedding night. Although my conscience found out later and returned to Tess, Tess's fate changed greatly and her tragedy was inevitable. Therefore, women who have experienced negligence can not tell each other about their past without being condemned by their conscience. Imagine a man. If you cheat him, he will feel very happy. If you expose the facts, you will deprive him of happiness. Compared with the former, it should be more moral.
It is a right for a man to inquire about a woman's past. If so, it is also a right for a woman to hide her past from a man without telling the truth.