People: Xiao Ai, Xiao Bai, Xiao Wu, teacher.
Scene: classroom
Content:
Xiao Bai sleeps on the table.
Iverson lost a book with him. Get out.
Xiao Wu (coming in) sings: La la la la la, yo yo, it's a beautiful day today. We have no classes in the afternoon. It's really cool. I went to study for myself early in the morning, thinking about how wonderful this college life is. Blink of an eye, I entered the main building. In fact, there are many study rooms in our hearts! But if there is no schoolbag on your desk, it is difficult to find it. I finally came to a Taoyuan resort. Haha, here it is (sitting in Xiao Ai's seat). Sit in Xiao Ai's seat.
Xiao Ai (entering): Oh, man, this is really confusing. Are you kidding? Don't you see, I've already occupied this seat!
Xiao Wu: Ding is Ding and Mao is Mao. Actually, I took it before you!
Xiao Ai: I came early in the morning. Why didn't I see you?
Wu: I took it last night.
Xiao Ai: The last row is my patent! For it, I get up early every day, grab the head and bleed like a river. I can't lose this position!
Xiao Wu: The last row is my pride. This place is unique. If you want to get rid of me from here (AI:-Why? ) I advise you to hurry-forget it!
Xiao Bai wakes up: What's that noise? What's that noise? It's a waste of youth to quarrel in such a sacred classroom early in the morning! Do you know what mistake you made? Huh?
Xiao Ai: Yes.
Wu: Let's stop arguing.
Xiao Bai: The most unforgivable thing for you is that you woke me up!
Iverson sat in front of Xiaobai.
Xiao Ai: OK, let's develop this style. Dude, look at my exam!
Wu: Huh? Today's exam?
Xiao Bai: Really? My hands are numb today!
Xiao Ai: Are you scared?
Xiao Wu: Did you sleep?
Xiao Bai: None of them are right! Tired of playing cheat sheets. Hey! No matter how hard and tired you are, consider yourself 250.
Xiao Wu: No matter how hard it is, just think of yourself as a two-faced person.
Three people (shaking hands): Say goodbye to you!
Xiao Wu: Copy it to me (reaching for it) (Xiao Bai dodges)
Xiaobai: Do you want it? If you want it, just say it. How can I know what you want if you don't tell me? Although you look at me sincerely, you still have to tell me what you want. Do you really want it? Then you can take it! You don't really want it, do you? Do you really want it? ……
Xiao Ai: I will take the exam. Stop it! I'll kill you!
Xiao Bai: Wait, you can kill me, but first, who killed me?
Xiao Ai: Nonsense, I.
Xiao Bai: I … am … who …
Xiao Ai: How do I know who you are?
Xiao Bai (laughs): Here comes the question.
Xiao Ai (puzzled): What do you mean?
Xiao Bai: This must start with the relationship between man and the universe. You've always had problems.
Xiao Ai: What do you mean?
Xiao Bai: Me, who is it?
Xiao Ai: I already know that.
Xiao Bai: No, you don't. Do you know who you are? Ai？ No, it's just a name, a code name. You can call it Xiao Ai, and I can call it Xiao Ai. They can all. Who are you after you take off your code name?
Xiao Ai: I don't know, and I don't need to know.
Xiao Bai: OK, OK, then answer me another question: Who am I?
Xiao Ai: This question has already been asked.
Xiao Bai: No, I just asked about my ID card. Now I'm asking myself.
Xiao Ai: What's the difference?
Xiao Bai: For example, when I talk with my code name, your code name is also me. What does this mean? Does this mean that you are me and I am you? ...
Xiao Ai: This question is meaningless.
Xiao Bai: Then ask some meaningful questions. Where did I come from and where did I die? Why should I appear in this world? What does my appearance mean to the world? Did the world choose me, or did I choose the world?
Iverson shouted: Enough!
Xiao Bai (speaking faster and faster): Is there a necessary connection between me and the universe? Does the universe have an end? Is there a time limit? Where did the past time disappear? Where will the future stop? Is the question I'm asking now still the question you just mentioned?
Xiao Ai (big head): I'll kill you!
Xiao Bai shouted: Who killed me? Who did I kill?
Xiao Ai (dumbfounded): Did I kill me?
Xiao Bai: Correct answer! Do it!
Iverson hit her head against the wall and fainted. . .
Xiao Bai shakes Xiao Ai: Get up quickly ~
Xiao Ai: Hey, I think I spent the middle of the night burning a lamp and boiling oil!
Xiao Wu: Oh, have you studied hard?
Xiao Bai: Do you cheat, too?
Xiao Ai: Oh, I'm thinking about the exam strategy!
Xiao Wu and Xiao Bai leaned over: What do you think?
Xiao Ai laughed wildly: I tell you, this is a great move!
Xiao Wu and Xiao Bai: Come on!
Xiao Ai: (picks up the book) Copy it down.
Xiao Bai: Go to hell!
Wu: Good idea! Why didn't I think of that?
Xiao Bai: Come on. You call this a trick?
Xiao Ai: Of course, I have experience. I eat more salt than you eat rice.
Xiao Bai: That's your mouth.
Xiao Ai: I have crossed more bridges than you have.
Xiao Bai: That's because I'm too lazy to move. . Well, to ease the tension, I'll give you a humorous quiz.
Xiao Yi and Xiao Wu ignored her.
Xiao Bai: For example, how many steps are there on the exam answer sheet?
Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu leaned in: How many steps are there?
Xiao Bai: Three steps!
Step 1: Write down your name. (Both nod)
Step 2: Read the topic again! (Both nod)
Step 3:-hand in the roll paper!
Xiao Ai: Hand in a blank sheet of paper!
Wu: What's the problem?
Xiao Bai: I'll give you another question. Say, who didn't come to the exam today?
Xiao Ai: Who can't take the exam today? Xiaobai?
Xiao Bai: I'm not here!
Xiao Ai: Look around, Wu?
Xiao Wu: Yes!
Xiao Ai: Ah! I see-little moxa!
Wu: You came for nothing! It's not the same whether you come or not!
Xiao Bai: Answer, teacher! Not yet!
The teacher came in.
Three people are startled: coming? Why did you come without saying anything? Oh, dear! (noisy)
Teacher: What's your name? Did the toad come in?
Three people laughed.
Teacher: Be serious! What about this exam! No professional ethics at all! What is the most important thing these days? Score! On and off, your lifeblood! (Laughter) Exams are our magic weapon!
Xiao Ai: (whispering) Copy, copy, our unique skill!
Teacher: Hand out the test papers quickly! Don't come early after the exam. What time is it now? The exam has started for half an hour! What did you do?
Curly hair
Teacher: The exam time is * * * two hours! Don't hand in the papers for more than an hour! Students who want to answer questions, please pick up the pen. Students who don't want to answer questions, please rest in place. Students who want to go to the toilet-please restrain yourself!
Xiao Ai: I compare my teacher. He is a mouse looking for a cat as an escort-unreasonable demands!
Xiao Bai: That's right! Is he a legendary rapper? Otherwise, why can't he nag?
Teacher: Be quiet! You are quieter than a tree! Do you know how serious a mistake you have made? Heavier than Yan!
Three people copy.
Teacher: (referring to Xiao Ai) Please don't copy this classmate!
Xiao Wu and Xiao Bai: I didn't copy!
The teacher came to Xiao Ai: Classmate, stop copying!
Xiao Ai: How do you know? I copied it in my desk!
Teacher: You dropped the board in front of your desk. I saw it!
Xiao Ai: (looking at it) Ouch! have bad luck
The teacher confiscated Xiao Ai's roll paper, and Xiao Ai just wanted to get up and go.
Teacher: Sit down! Go out in an hour!
Xiao Ai sat down and said to Xiao Wu, Hey, I want to kill myself.
Xiao Wu: There are many ways to die. Going out to the west, there is a Xiliang River.
Xiao Ai: I can swim, especially snorkeling.
Wu: Then find a cliff and jump.
Iverson: I jumped off a building and was blown back by the current.
Wu: Then find a bottle of poison.
Xiao Ai: I drank pesticides, fake and shoddy, and had diarrhea for half a month.
Wu: Then find a rope ... something strong.
Xiao Ai: Yes, the house collapsed in the middle of the earthquake. My neck is fine. My leg is broken. It hurts when it rains now.
Wu: Broken leg? How about white camel mountain bone meal?
(Xiao Wu and Xiao Ai stand up)
Xiao Ai: People are floating in rivers and lakes. Who can avoid being stabbed?
Xiaowu: White Camel Mountain Bone Powder has miraculous effects for both internal and external use.
Xiao Ai: I bought a knife and drew a bag. I also want to buy a second knife.
Xiao Wu: You are not old until you are 200.
Xiao Ai: white camel mountain Qianggu powder, Youth powder, Friendship powder, Huashan Lunjian designated nutrition.
Xiaowu: All the major pharmacies in this town sell Yiguang. Please look for the anti-counterfeiting mark of black toad when buying.
Xiao Ai: Gaga.
Xiao Wu: Gaga.
(Two people sit down to continue the exam)
The teacher went to see Xiao Wu, who took the test paper to the table and copied it.
Teacher: Come on, come on, stop pretending! I despise you people who cheat with books most. You have no technical content at all.
Teacher: (confiscating Xiao Wu's test paper) You also sit and reflect. Why did you cheat with this book?
Xiao Wu (holding his head): Teacher ~ Teacher, it's wrong to be hungry. Hungry is really wrong! Adults don't remember villains, prime minister belly punting, cold night, husband and wife also. I don't want to take that book either! Who told me not to play cheat sheets like him (Xiao Bai)!
Xiaobai stared at Xiao Wu.
Teacher: That's right. Remember to cheat next time! I like this kind of hard-working child.
Teacher: Time is up! Hand in the papers.
Put away the test papers.
Teacher: OK. Remember to take the advanced math exam this afternoon! (End)
Xiao Ai: Ah! Still taking the advanced math exam in the afternoon?
Xiao Bai: Ah! ! Take the exam in the afternoon! (Picking up a cheat sheet) What did you just take?
Wu: Gao ... number? ! What kind of tree is that?
Three people: hey ~ study how to copy cheat sheets!
The teacher came in (all teachers can dress up alone).
Xiao Ai: Chinese teacher!
Teacher: Xiao Ai, how is your composition? (Xiao Ai's test paper)
Xiao Ai: What's the matter?
Teacher: You read it.
Xiao Ai: "My teacher", my teacher has an oval face ...
Teacher: Wait, (takes out a big sign to write claws) Are you a melon with a melon face? You wrote that my teacher has a claw face!
Xiao Ai: Teacher, paw face is also a face. Can't you make do with it?
Teacher: Keep reading.
Xiao Ai: My teacher is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. ...
Teacher: Stop! You wrote so much. It's beautiful. Why? Just write it to the end!
Xiao Ai: Teacher, isn't the composition required to be no less than 500 words?
Teacher: So you only paint beautiful pictures?
Xiao Ai: Isn't it required to write true feelings? This is all my feelings!
Teacher: Hum, tell you, you are only 496 words!
Xiao Ai: Oh! Then add: how beautiful!
Teacher: Look at your translation of ancient Chinese. Touch the tree and die.
Xiao Ai: Find an old pagoda tree to hang yourself!
Teacher: Why is it an old pagoda tree? Look, you explain words, explain death, and you write death!
Xiao Ai: Oh, I want to write to death!
Teacher: (with a helpless face) Hey ~ you, you hung up again!
Xiao Ai: Teacher, give me another chance! I have rebuilt it five times!
Teacher: OK, I'll give you a chance. Make the simplest sentence, make a sentence of love at first sight!
Xiao Ai: Love at first sight ... Got it! I did all my homework last night. As soon as I saw the clock, I couldn't help screaming
Teacher: (Laughter) Congratulations, you won-
Iverson: Have you passed?
Teacher: (it doesn't matter) the sixth chance to rebuild. (End)
Xiao Ai (crying): Singing (holding Wowotou in his hand ~ there is not a drop of oil in the dish ~)
Xiao Bai and Xiao Wu (covering their ears): Stop singing and learn the cheat sheet for high numbers.
The philosophy teacher came in.
Xiao Wu: Philosophy teacher!
Teacher: Xiao Wu!
Wu: Yes!
Teacher: Look at your test paper!
My question is: this is the question, please answer. what did you say ?
Xiao Wu: This is the answer. Please give points ... Is there a mistake? Teacher, do you call this a problem?
Teacher: (pointing to Xiao Wu) You ... OK, next question, what is courage? Why didn't you answer it?
Xiao Wu: I answered!
Teacher: Just five words!
Wu: (reading) This is courage! That's right! Then I handed in my paper without answering the following questions. How well I explained my courage!
Teacher: You ... just wait to hang up!
Xiao Wu: Teacher! Give me another chance! I've hung up the phone fifteen times!
Teacher: Then let me ask you two questions. It depends on your nature. ...
Wu: Two? ..... Too much!
Teacher: OK, the first question is correct! If you don't answer the second question, I will let you pass. How many hairs do you have?
Xiao Wu: (muttering to himself) I wish I were bald.
Teacher: Answer!
Xiaowu: 65438+234506789!
Teacher: How do you know?
Xiao Wu: Teacher, I don't have to answer the second question!
Teacher: OK! Very good! Very good! Take it (pass a piece of paper)
Wu: This is-
Teacher: Reconstruction Act!
Xiao Wu (crying): Are you sure?
Teacher: I don't deny denial! (End)
Xiao Bai and Xiao Ai: Hey! Let's study high numbers-
The English teacher came in.
Xiao Bai: English teacher! (trying to run)
Teacher: Xiao Bai, what are you running for? No breakfast!
Xiao Bai: I didn't eat-
Teacher: I saw you eating this morning!
Xiaobai:-No breakfast tomorrow!
Teacher: Xiao Bai, look at the test paper. None of your reading comprehension is correct! Did you just choose the topic without looking at it at all?
Xiao Bai: No!
Teacher: How dare you quibble!
Xiao Bai: I didn't even look at the question, just the answer!
Teacher: And your composition! Why does it look familiar?
Xiao Bai: Does it look strange? Read and understand the first sentence of each paragraph.
Teacher: Xiao Bai, you should wake up! You this time-
Xiao Bai: Ah! Teacher, I failed five or five times, no, fifty times! Can't hang up any more!
Teacher: it's not that I didn't give it to you ... this ... for example, can you translate what evening dress means?
(whispering to the audience) It's an evening dress!
Xiao Bai looked at Xiao Yi and Xiao Wu.
Xiao Ai: Night is night, right? Best for playing games!
Xiao Wu: clothes are clothes, MM is always clamoring to buy them!
Xiao Bai: Oh! Teacher, I know! It's a night suit!
The teacher shook his head. (End)
Xiao Bai: No, I must find a teacher! You two take your time! (End)
Xiao Ai: Forget it. Cheating may not be useful. I'm leaving, too.
Wu: What about that? Hand in a blank sheet of paper?
Xiao Ai: Of course, I can't hand in a blank sheet of paper. I'm going to recite the most difficult questions now, and then write them on the test paper and answer them myself! (End)
Xiao Wu: He has a personality. (just want to leave)
The head teacher came in.
Xiao Wu: Head teacher!
Teacher: Xiao Wu, I want to talk to you.
Wu: Huh?
Teacher: Say, why do you always flirt with girls recently?
Wu: It's just ... I feel a little lonely.
Teacher: If you are lonely, get a dog.
Xiao Wu: Do you like dogs?
Teacher: Then raise Sohu, Yahoo and Baidu! Also, why don't you take the main entrance when you climb the wall on Monday?
Xiao Wu: (pointing to his coat) said: Mi Bang Wei, don't take the usual road!
Teacher: The wall is so high, how did you get over it?
Xiao Wu: (pointing to his pants) Li Ning, anything is possible!
Teacher: What's it like to climb over the wall?
Xiao Wu: (referring to shoes) Xtep, it feels like flying!
Teacher: But why did you go to the front door again the next day?
Wu: Anta, I choose, I like it!
Teacher: On the third day, you actually wore a gangster costume! !
Wu: You are what you wear, clothes.
Teacher: On the fourth day, you came to school wearing a vest, which was really annoying!
Wu: Dude, just keep it simple, Attenborough Clothing.
Teacher: That's enough, I'll give you a big demerit!
Wu: Why?
Teacher: M-Zone, my land card is my decision!
Four people on the same stage curtain call.