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What should I do if my wife's mother is supporting her daughter's family and her husband dislikes it?
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What should I do if my wife's mother supports the elderly at her daughter's house and her husband dislikes it?
supplementary question: the husband has three brothers. Is he the oldest? When he got married, his parents had little financial support, and the husband owed money everywhere to get married. On the issue of taking care of grandchildren, my sister-in-law was jealous and brought her to be about ten years old. Her mother happened to be at home alone (and her brother also settled in the city) to help take care of her children until she graduated from college. Now the husband intentionally or unintentionally dislikes, what should I do? In fact, brothers also give their mothers thousands of dollars in pocket money every year. My mother is old, and I have a little cold and fever when I go back to my home. My wife is not at ease, and my brothers in the city are not used to living in a small house.
spider
153 people visited and updated on June 2, 222 at 5: 32: 27
Answers
* * 44 answers
Guan Junzi
222-June 9 at 11: 33
+attention
. I feel a lot after reading many articles. Old people, don't be silly and give all your money to your children. When you are old, you have no money, and your children dislike you. If you spend a lot of money, your children will love you. Bottom line: It is better to raise money than to raise children. It is better to rely on money than on children.
zhang Xiao Happiness
222-6-5 9:53
+ Concern
Every family has its own problems, and it is difficult to decide whether to encounter this kind of problems or that kind of problems. The questions raised by the subject are also difficult to decide.
I think we can ease the contradiction from these directions:
1. When the old man is old, he can't leave people around him. He and his husband discuss renting a small house for his mother in this community, and they can walk around each other at ordinary times. As a result, the distance is created, the contradiction is reduced, and the husband will naturally not be disgusted.
2. It's natural for a son to provide for his mother's old age, and he should discuss with his younger brother and sister-in-law and truthfully explain the situation. The problem also raised that my brother's house is too small to live in, so he can rent a house for his mother in his brother's community, which is convenient for his brother to take care of. If conditions permit, he can buy a set, and his brother is old and has a place to live.
Of course, if you can get your husband's consent, you can share the rent expenses with your brother.
We won't be young forever, and we will get old one day. Now the problem of our mother is also a problem we will face in the future. When the old people are old, they can't be left unattended. Everything is good for business and quantity, and there is no flaming mountain that they can't cross. I wish all parents in the world a sense of old age!
ruoshui 619
222-6-4 8:4
+ attention
This mother has a son. Her husband is also a son. Raise children to prevent old age. Since ancient times, the son is the master of authentic foster parents. Speaking of this, the daughter will say: the law stipulates that children have the obligation to support each other. Yes, that's the rule. But the law also has children with the right to inherit property. How many parents with sons have you seen sharing their property with their daughters? Don't talk about the law about housework. Imagine: If this daughter sues her brother for her mother's pension, is she still her brother emotionally? Therefore, the family should talk about tradition, custom, virtue, reason and courtesy.
This daughter should think about it calmly. Her mother-in-law brought her son to the age of 1, and her mother took it over and brought it to the university since graduation. How dare you say this? The most difficult period of taking care of the children passed, and her mother took it, and she has been in college since then. Is this son a giant baby or can't live without people? Otherwise, what should her mother bring? What is the meaning of the belt? In her place, the contribution of the mother in bringing up the children is greater than that of the mother-in-law. Is that true? Oh, no. It is more realistic to say that mother is here to take care of children than to say that mother is here to provide for the aged.
here comes the problem. My mother has come to provide for the aged. What about her grandmother? Isn't she old? Shouldn't we keep it, too? How did her husband work hard, and her husband's family didn't give financial support to her small family, so her husband jumped out of a crack in the stone? You grew up drinking northwest wind? Why didn't you say how to raise your mother-in-law Does that mean that her mother-in-law doesn't have to support her financially?
in my opinion, she said that her husband didn't want her mother to support the elderly at her home, which was just the symptom of the problem. Its true correspondence is that she was driven away with her children, and her husband wanted to provide for her mother's old age but could not. It is an excuse to say why the mother-in-law can't continue to take care of the children. Mother-in-law is taken care of, but she doesn't want to. She has to force her mother-in-law to go back and take care of herself. Her sister-in-law is too virtuous.
The old tree in the garden
222-6-6 13:22
+ Concern
The daughter was born by her mother. In the process of growing up,
the mother spent more time in contact with her daughter, and their tempers got to know each other. And
what's wrong with my daughter? Mom
Mom won't understand her as intentional.
Being both women and mother and daughter, it's easy to communicate
. Therefore, most women want to associate with their mothers after
marriage and hope to provide for
her old age. On the other hand, sons are not as good as daughters in serving people, such as washing, brushing and so on, so the elderly want to stay at home with their daughters.
The son-in-law is not born to the mother-in-law, and the mother-in-law has never adopted a son-in-law. They don't know each other's temper, and the mother-in-law is a woman and the daughter-in-law is a man, so it's inconvenient to live together. Their ideas about life and their cognition of new things are far from each other, and their daily behaviors and lifestyles are different.
There is a generation gap between the older generation and the younger generation.
They are incompatible with each other and should be normal. If
the daughter's house is big, it's ok to live in the daughter's house for the elderly for a short period of time,
and the mother-in-law can adapt to the changes in the environment. If
you don't adapt, you have to think about what are the obstacles that affect mutual
adaptation.
Daughter-in-law is a new class of workers, and the burden of one more person will lower the standard of living.
Mother-in-law should give some money to her son-in-law as the meals for the elderly.
If the reason for the maladjustment is not money, then
can find another way. For example, if you are in good health, you will do
things and get paid. You can also get a small house and live alone. When she is old and disabled, let her daughter send
the elderly to a nursing home. < end >
clover 73
222-6-6 19:49
+ concern
Why does the husband dislike it? Because my mother-in-law has a son. It is said that the mother-in-law is not entirely raised by her son, but at least shared with her daughter. The wife, on the other hand, does everything for her mother-in-law's old age, which makes her husband feel unbalanced.
my sister-in-law's seven sisters, sister-in-law mother paralyzed in her later years.
at first, seven sisters paid for a nanny to wait on their mother. Sister-in-law's sister and one of her brothers here are in poor condition. But there is no difference between rich and poor in filial piety. If the conditions are poor, you have to pay for your mother when you borrow money.
Later, because my sister-in-law and mother were too fat, it was generally difficult for the waiters to turn her over. After three nannies, the last seven sisters took turns to wait on their mother. If you have money and no time, please ask someone to wait on you. Otherwise, the couple will go into battle together.
Sister-in-law's mother has been in bed for two years. Sister-in-law says she is her own mother, but she can't abandon her. She is tired of serving her mother and almost has problems. Fortunately, there are many sisters and sisters. The rest can be slowed down again.
The mother is at her daughter's house all the year round, which makes the son escape the responsibility. If my mother gets sick in the future, she will be paralyzed like my sister-in-law's mother. Her son doesn't care. How does this make the husband figure it out?
It's true that the mother brought the child to her daughter. Grandma brought up the child. Grandma didn't leave until she was 1 years old. Everyone knows that the younger a child is, the harder it is to take care of it. Isn't it easy for grandma to accept it after she was 1 years old?
I suggest you take turns taking care of your mother with your brother.
Because your husband also has the responsibility to take care of his parents.
Take it easy yx
222-6-7 8:55
+ Pay attention to
A son-in-law dislikes his mother-in-law, just like a daughter-in-law dislikes her mother-in-law. Contradictions are widespread, and the key is how a daughter mediates.
The principle is to appease the husband and keep the stability of his small family first, because the mother is the one who wants her daughter to be happy most, and she is willing to make sacrifices for her daughter.
Like the subject, my parents helped us a lot when we got married and started our business. My son was brought up by my mother, and after his father died, he took his mother to live with us.
When I was young, I was busy, and the contradiction was not obvious. My mother was old, she ate softly, got up early when she had nothing to do, and she still liked to ramble. I didn't remember what happened in front of me. After telling the past eight times, my ears were covered with cocoons. I don't blame my son-in-law for being disgusted, let alone scold my husband for being ungrateful.
my trick is to be kind to my in-laws and influence my husband.
My mother-in-law and father-in-law are in good health. They used to live in the countryside, but later they moved to the city to live in the building we bought. We are responsible for heating, utilities and all food and clothing.
All kinds of holidays, in-laws' birthdays, gifts and money must be in place. Run a few more times at ordinary times, communicate with the elderly more, be caring and attentive, and let the elderly feel your concern. After the in-laws are coaxed, the husband is in a good mood, and the mother-in-law thing is still called a thing?
At first, because my mother has been living with us, my in-laws will feel uncomfortable, and sometimes I will stab my husband behind his back. For this reason, I had a heart-to-heart talk with my mother-in-law. First of all, when my son was a child, my husband and I were working together, and my mother-in-law didn't coax the children. My grandmother left everything at home to coax the children. Now she is old, where do you want her to go? Secondly, my mother just lives with us. I also have a brother. My brother is in good condition and often gives my mother money. My brother takes care of the place where my mother uses the money. I just take care of it more.
I told my mother-in-law, if my mother needs the same money from us as you do, plus she has to buy a house for your grandson and marry a daughter-in-law, she won't tire your son and daughter-in-law. In fact, our present situation is the best. My mother is single, not short of money, and needs company. I did it. You two are in good health, and you live alone in a building with a son. We often go to see it, so it would be better to get together when you are old and need care.
Mother-in-law is a wise man, too. She is just a little jealous when she sees her mother living with us. After explaining the pros and cons to her, her mother-in-law always tells her husband that I'm good, and she doesn't talk about my mother any more, so her husband is naturally good to her mother-in-law.
every family has its own history, and everything is prosperous with family and talent!
Friends, do you support me in this way?
I stepped on you in Tokyo
222-6-6 1:11
+ Pay attention to
It's hard to balance the relationship!
It's raining in the rain 325118387266
222-6-9 14: 12
+Pay attention to
This question requires the wife's mother to have a son, if so, ask her to go back to her son for retirement, if not, she can be sent to a nursing home if the financial ability allows,
Xu Ding
22. If you want to be happy in your old age, please be kind to the elderly!
See the sea by the mountain
222-6-7 5:13
+ Pay attention to
Do something more. If two people ride a donkey, they won't believe it.
Warm 36868711
222-6-5 5:1
+ Concern
Children have equal rights and obligations, provide for the aged equally and inherit property equally
1545739177 Zhang Jianjun
222-6-4 14: 56 <
Let's talk about it one by one: 1. The husband is three brothers. Is he old? When he got married, his parents had little financial support, and all the husbands owed money everywhere to get married.
the three brothers are old, and their parents have little financial support, so they are in debt to get married everywhere. A few key words show that there are many husbands and brothers, and the family conditions are not good. Since this is the case, as a woman, why can't you consider him and spend less money? Do you have to owe so much? Also, who finally paid the debt? Vague, according to the analysis of your heart always in your mother's house, it is estimated that it will not be returned by your mother's house; 2. On the issue of bringing grandchildren, because the sister-in-law was brought to about ten years old, her mother happened to be alone at home (the brother has also settled down in the city), helping to take care of the children until they graduated from college.
Explain a message. Your husband's parents, that is, your in-laws, used to take care of your little couple's children, but they were only brought to about ten years old because of jealousy. At the age of ten, primary school is about to graduate. There are three brothers in his family. Your in-laws can break through many obstacles and difficulties and bring your children to the age of ten for you. My God, shouldn't you be grateful for such an understatement? You know, children before the age of ten are the hardest to take care of.
Later, the mother-in-law happened to be alone at home (the brother has also settled down in the city), helping to take care of the child until he graduated from college. Coincidentally, before the child was ten years old, your mother was not alone at home, but lived happily with your brother. Later, your brother settled down in the city and left her mother alone at home. There is doubt. Did your mother take care of your brother's children or enjoy the rest of her life before? Now, is your brother's family older or doesn't need your parents to take care of it? After that, help take over to take care of you until your child graduates from college. Note that it can be ignored before the age of ten, and after the age of ten, it will help to take care of the children until they graduate from college. Help take over! Good use of these words, what a great contribution! After the age of ten, all the children go to junior high school, high school and college, and most of the time they live on campus. Do you need your parents to look after them every day? What did she take care of your children? I think you're looking for an excuse to raise your parents, right? 3. Nowadays, the mother-in-law has lived in her daughter's house for a long time, and her husband intentionally or unintentionally dislikes it. It's all the same for children who take care of their parents and provide for their parents' old age. It's understandable that the key is fairness and rationality, taking care of family relations and obtaining the consent of their husbands. You said that your brother actually gave your mother thousands of dollars in pocket money every year, and your brother should support your mother with you, instead of simply paying a few dollars. If you can't do this, don't blame your husband for being disgusted! 4, the mother is old, going back to her home is a little cold and fever. The wife is not at ease, setting up a brother's house, and the house is not used to it. That's the point. It finally shows your heart. You want to provide for your parents' old age to reduce the burden on your brother. Or your brother doesn't want to raise it at all except paying your mother thousands of dollars in pocket money every year. Your husband should not disagree, right?
From the above, it can be seen that although you are married and all your children have graduated from college, you still focus on your mother's family everywhere, regardless of your husband's feelings. Your own interests are paramount to your mother, your brother and yourself, and you are a devil's helper. You are unfilial to your husband and his family, even.