Read the landlord's description carefully and say a few questions.
Coincidentally, the husband's personality you described is very similar to mine. Let's say:
1, you said that your husband likes to find fault with you and compare you with others, which makes you very insecure. The life of loving couples is not always so romantic. Seven things to open the door, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea, cooking, washing clothes and taking care of children. It is inevitable that husband and wife are at odds. At this time, what is needed is that husband and wife know how to be tolerant and considerate, rather than haggling over housework. I believe that your husband doesn't mean to belittle you by comparing you with others, but for you to do better and better. But he went too far. You can kindly remind him: Please put yourself in others' shoes. Do you think you are good enough? How would you feel if I kept comparing you with others? Between husband and wife, we are not strangers or people who can't listen to other people's opinions. Let's talk calmly. Isn't it more conducive to correcting one's own shortcomings, perfecting each other and harmonizing feelings? As for comparing us with this person and that person? I believe your sincerity will impress him. He will also review his own personality defects.
You said that my husband likes playing games, and everyone has his own hobbies. Playing games occasionally is good for intelligence, but it is not normal to indulge in it all day. Housework, as the name implies, is shared by all family members, not girls. My wife likes watching TV, but we don't. Interested in surfing the internet, Baidu knowledge, iron and blood military, car forum, etc. I am not interested in games. In my family, whoever gets off work first cooks. For example, my wife cooks and I wash dishes and chopsticks. My wife mops the floor, so I clean the windows and cabinets. Housework is only a relative division of labor, * * * has a reference, there is no absolute saying who should do more and who should do less, all by consciousness. Children should also cook and stir-fry at home during holidays. From primary school, children should also wash their own clothes, so as to develop the ability and habit of living independently. Our family is still quite harmonious. Couples occasionally have different views, that is, talking at home has never been better than this, and there is no contradiction in watching TV online. You can talk to him, let him develop a sense of family responsibility, and everything should be measured. It is harmful to indulge in games.
3. You said that the husband let the children crawl all over the floor and didn't take care of it. This is a little too much. Children don't know anything. If adults don't take care of them seriously and in time, sometimes accidents and injuries are easy to happen. There are many reports about this kind of thing in the media, which can't help but arouse parents' great attention. Although you say that your husband occasionally does some housework to help clean up, it's good. What you want is to encourage him more. A person is sometimes a little vain. He will work harder in the future when he hears some good things. First of all, it will reduce a person's burden of doing housework. Second, the division of housework also helps to cultivate the tacit understanding between husband and wife and narrow your distance. Third, it will be a good demonstration and example for children's growth. In this respect, it depends on the landlord mastering more skills to control her husband. That is timely praise, so that my husband can realize the role change from "I help my wife do housework" to "I help my family do housework". So are children.
You said that your husband is against you going out and wants you to stay at home like him. It should be said that otaku is still relatively family-oriented, and overall it is still good. Of course, this is inseparable from a person's growth experience and personality characteristics developed over the years. At least not like some men who stay at home all day, socialize all day and go home only when they sleep. But everyone should have their own circle of activities. People cannot live in a vacuum. It is also necessary for you to take part in some social activities in a timely manner. You can persuade your husband to accompany you to find friends and colleagues when he is free, and slowly let him get rid of the habit of staying at home and relying on the internet. Do more patient and meticulous work, he may change for you. But don't worry, the relationship between husband and wife is sublimated in this unconsciously benign interaction.
5. What you said is the problem of forbearance for children and the relationship with mother-in-law. In fact, your husband's character should be said that there is no big problem as a whole. He belongs to the family-oriented type, but he is a little narrow-minded and lacks some tolerance. This is our nature, and he can only change slowly through gentle communication. As for finding fault with what he has done, maybe he has a tendency of cleanliness and perfectionism. Just try to be perfect, but give both sides a process. You can also tell him that I will try my best, but please give me more demonstrations to help me improve. If he knows what you mean, he won't be so picky and even more difficult to understand in the future. As for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you can raise the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to that of mother-in-law, which shows that the landlord is a reasonable, kind and virtuous wife, which is really admirable and worthy of recognition. Your husband is so lucky. He will gradually understand you, be considerate and cherish you.
Having said that, in fact, the most important ways for couples to get along are: understanding, tolerance, loyalty, trust and responsibility. Try to say what the other person likes to hear and do what the other person likes to do without violating the principle of being a man and doing things. So that you can love each other harmoniously for a long time. Don't you think so?
Happy landlord!