Life is like a naughty and disrespectful child who likes to fight against us, play hide-and-seek, or wreak havoc. When we struggle for something and see the dawn of victory right away, it usually moves ahead of schedule. Stand up and announce to us the results of our failure. Sometimes we hate it, but we have to continue living because we still have dreams or responsibilities.
Miss K sat across from me, staring at the big heart-shaped coffee in the middle. At this time, she was in a calm lake. She was completely different from the person she was five years ago. I Asked her: "You have changed so much", she said:
After graduating from the university nursing major, some of the classmates in the class went abroad for further study, and some found satisfactory jobs through their parents' relationships. Working only for himself, he visited almost all medical institutions in the city, and their answers were the same: "Sorry, we only recruit graduates with registered residence in this city." Yan was about to spend all his savings, and he I also knew clearly that I could no longer reach out to my parents, so my first job was as a cleaner. I had a job with two days off per month and a salary of only 300 yuan. I still refused to give up and submitted my resume. I only had one thought, and that was The tuition I paid over the years could not be wasted. Later, a private hospital accepted me. The first three months were the internship period. I kept following every nurse to learn, give injections and infusions, treat, record, etc. , at the end of the day my legs were sore and swollen as if I had walked on a long march.
My first department was internal medicine, where I dealt with some common diseases. The people lying on the hospital beds were old people with whistling throats. They were suctioning sputum today and inserting gastric tubes tomorrow. They were very busy. At that time, I could only eat one meal a day. Almost every time, I would just pick up a mouthful of food with chopsticks and before it was brought to my mouth, I would see a family member running over and saying, "xx is coughing up blood again." Let's go and see, if it's okay during the day, at least a cup of coffee can keep us alive, but at night, wandering from ward to ward, like a tired soul with nowhere to put itself, I always feel like a savior , fighting the endless battle against the disease day and night, fighting hard during the day and fighting at night. When I occasionally rest, my head is basically numb, my eyes are looking at the ceiling, and then I look at myself in the mirror, 23 For a face that is 20 years old, a few night shifts can cause dark circles under the eyes, large bags under the eyes, a dark complexion, and severe delayed or even disrupted menstruation.
But even with such hard work, I still get the minimum salary, and don’t even think about bonuses. That is the patent of a few senior nurses in the department. When I was running from ward to ward , they were basically talking limitedly about the drama they watched last night, or about the children's studies. As soon as I sat down, they immediately said: "Little K, go and put a urinary catheter on bed 33. I'm writing a nursing record." "But that's not my job. I've done it a lot. I often answer them in my mind, but physically I execute it resolutely.
A year later, I quit that job and came to Beijing. I was still fighting on the clinical frontline. I still rushed to the unit before the sun rose. When the sun rose again, I returned to the hospital. In the small dormitory building, I covered myself with a quilt and let my empty eyes fall asleep, but my tense nerves still showed no intention of relaxing. I heard Xiao Li in the dormitory talking on the phone with her boyfriend, Xiao Zhang washing underwear, and Xiao Zhao. While watching dramas, I was the only one, as tired as a dog, wanting to sleep but not knowing how to soothe my eyes to sleep.
I started to think about my life, why am I like an ant carrying a heavy load every day, and I am even more tired when I rest than when I go to work. I lie on the bed, ordering takeaways, and making other people happy. I am lamenting my hard years. Is it a job worth two thousand yuan to make a living or a reason not to disappoint my parents? I don’t think so. What I need is a vibrant soul and a bright self.
Later, I finally figured out that sometimes we really don’t need to hold on so hard, be more relaxed, and occasionally making compromises and concessions to life does not mean decadence. Working hard all the time, more It is to prove my existence and value. Now I have a backpack and a pair of shoes, walking in the streets and alleys of various cities. I also stop to work, but I no longer take this job so seriously, and I don’t even give it to myself. To take a breather, I learned to live like a compromise.
Life is our own, and work should not be a burden to us. Life is only a few decades long, and we should learn to find a bit of happiness in work instead of letting it become a shackles to our lives.