First, self-awareness, second, self-motivation, third, self-control, fourth, feeling others, and fifth, interpersonal relationship. The five elements of EQ focus on two aspects: first, the ability and skills to manage their own emotions; The second is the ability and art of managing others' emotions.
the content of EQ is not the invention and creation of foreigners. In fact, our ancestors had some brilliant expositions on emotional management for a long time, but they didn't use the term EQ to systematically classify the EQ content for people to understand and accept.
Confucius was the first EQ theorist and educator in the history of China. There are a lot of records about EQ in The Analects of Confucius. As early as more than 2, years ago, Ceng Zi's theory of "I said that I should save myself in three provinces" told people the importance of self-knowledge. Ceng Zi checks himself with three things every day: "Is it cheating for others?" Do you do things for others with all your heart? "Make friends without believing?" Is it true that you keep your word when you associate with friends? "Can't you get used to it?" The teacher taught me how to be a man and do things. Did I really practice it?
Reflecting on yourself like this is like comparing yourself with three mirrors. If a person can know himself in this way, how can he not succeed in doing things?
For another example, Confucius said, "A gentleman who is not heavy is not powerful, and learning is not solid." It means that as a learned person, if you can't respect yourself, be confident, be self-motivated and lack faith, this knowledge is unstable, even if you have knowledge, it is useless. Confucius also said, "He who has no friends is not as good as himself", which means not to look down on anyone and think that no one is worse than you. The former sentence talks about one's own emotional management, and the latter sentence talks about the emotional management of others. It can be seen that in that early era, saints realized that emotional management is more important than intelligence.
regarding self-control, Confucius said, "it is rare to miss an appointment." That is, a person often restrains himself, and there are fewer mistakes. In other words, to reduce failure, we must be self-disciplined. Mencius is the successor and promoter of Confucius' EQ theory. Mencius has a saying: "wealth can't be lewd, poverty can't be moved, and power can't be bent." It is still cited as an aphorism of being a man. Mencius emphasized that being an upright person must have self-control. And so on, the ancients elaborated on many aspects of EQ. Successful people in all previous dynasties all followed this principle of self-cultivation, good deeds and personal practice.
second, the analysis of the five elements of EQ
The achievement of EQ is to creatively combine the main factors of people's success and make its five elements form a whole. EQ sums up the factors other than IQ into emotional wisdom in an orderly way, which has caused a shock all over the world and given the whole mankind confidence in success. Because EQ is not innate, only by paying attention to the cultivation of the day after tomorrow, everyone may have this quality and ability more or less. On the other hand, as long as you have EQ, you can grasp the possibility of success. In this way, success is no longer the exclusive product of a few people. And EQ is a golden key for more people to succeed.
speaking of emotional intelligence, I naturally think of two characters. One is Li Lianying, the personal eunuch of Empress Dowager Cixi in the late Qing Dynasty. As the saying goes, a companion is like a tiger. What a "tigress" Li Lianying is accompanying! She is insidious and vicious, ruthless, suspicious and suspicious, having sex. She carried out a coup to kill dissidents, seized the real power of the Qing Dynasty, listened to politics behind the curtain, and finally placed Emperor Guangxu under house arrest until his death. But Li Lianying, like a loyal watchdog, runs around her all the time, just making her servant intimate and comfortable, so she won the favor and became the leader of the "eunuch", with power in one's hand and in one's hand. The other is a character in literary works, that is, the stupid scholar who concocted the strange text of Ode to Fart. When the county magistrate who gave him a question gave off a very smelly fart, instead of covering his nose, shutting up and frowning, he was refreshed. He opened his mouth and took a deep breath, and his inspiration floated to him. He shook his head and wrote Ode to Fart, saying, "Master Fu Wei is towering over his golden buttocks, and Hong Xuanbao's fart is vaguely like the sound of silk and bamboo, as if it were like the breath of musk orchids." Although there are exaggerated elements in literary works, there are such people in reality. Lin Fang's essay "Chasing Smell" wrote: A director was invited somewhere. After three rounds of drinking, it is "convenient" for the director to leave and go to the toilet. I didn't expect this to disturb the whole table. They all stood up, crowding round, and accompanied the director to the toilet. Lin Fang reprimanded this despicable behavior. The IQ of the above two people is not high, but the EQ is "super-first-class". They are like actors with excellent acting skills, and their emotions are properly controlled. If these people are allowed to win a great victory in the arena of society, the officialdom will become a world of "three aims" and "flatterers". The literary world will become a place to chase after fishy smell, so that fart-singing articles will become popular. Such an outcome is worrying.
it is no accident that eq beats IQ. Scientific data show that the level of a person's IQ and EQ index is naturally important, but it is not completely determined by nature, and the acquired efforts can also make up for the congenital deficiency to some extent. In this sense, EQ beats IQ. As a party with high IQ and low EQ, it has its own unshirkable responsibility and something to reflect on. According to my personal observation, on the whole, intellectuals are a group with high IQ and low EQ. Some of them often mistakenly believe that only IQ is the embodiment of personal ability, and do not admit that EQ is also a quantitative ability, and it is an important item of personal comprehensive quality. Performance in action is aloof and arrogant, supercilious. If you are favored, you will be cocky and wait for the price; Being left out is cynical and full of complaints; Or escape into the mountains, indulge in wine and make friends, pretend to be crazy and cheat, and be bohemian, just like Ji Kang, Ruan Ji and other "seven sages of bamboo forest" in Wei and Jin Dynasties. How can such behavior be appreciated? When I say this, I don't mean that all intellectuals should be "sycophants" or "bearers". Bow and scrape, flattery and flattery have always been despised by the right people, let alone intellectuals with human conscience? I just want to take this opportunity to remind that those with high IQ should consciously strengthen their self-cultivation and improve their EQ index, so that their talents can be used. This is one aspect of the problem. The other reason why EQ beats IQ lies in the employer. In the face of talents, they don't focus on their career, but on their personal interests. They are full of considerations about whether others are obedient or not, their baton is ineffective, and their seats are unstable. From the beginning, they put their foothold and focus on emotional intelligence. I don't know that personal interests are always attached to my career. And the cause needs capable people to do it. Without the ability, it is useless to obey again, and the future career will be ruined. Without a career, personal interests are out of the question. In order to facilitate the discussion of the problem, the topic is still back to the essay "Four Kinds of People" cited earlier. I think that, as an employer, it is best to rearrange the four types of people in the order of Zeng Guofan (Zeng Guofan got a lot of benefits from it), that is, when faced with the dilemma of "capable but disobedient (or not very obedient)" and "incompetent (or not very capable) but obedient", I would rather use the former and abandon the latter. "There is no shortage of gold, no one is perfect", and a clever employer should have this magnanimity. Moreover, the so-called obedient and disobedient are also related to the leadership art of leaders.
However, it is easier said than done to change the foothold of "valuing IQ than EQ". After all, it is an armchair strategist and pedantic view. Everyone has weaknesses. Most people prefer to listen to compliments rather than criticisms. They all like others to obey themselves rather than "wrangle" with them. Emotional intelligence trumps IQ, which has the obvious characteristics of ruling the society by man. Man-made efforts can only work to a certain extent. Only when we enter a society ruled by law, including the selection of talents, can there be laws and rules to follow, and this situation of burying talents will be completely changed.