I finished breakfast in bed, which was not allowed in the past. Mother cleaned up the dishes, but she didn't seem to want to go out. She looked at me quietly, her heart warm. After some hesitation, she finally said, "I had a rest for half a year. Do you want to consider studying in the second half of the year? " I mean, reread the first year of high school, because you dropped out of school, and the second year of high school can't keep up. "
I remember the lyrics of Stephanie's song, "I control time, but it ignores it." I want to say that I pulled and let go. I still remember those days at school, when I didn't have time to eat supper, I hid in the quilt and ate bread every night. I am determined to get the top five in this final exam. When I filled in the goal form with great interest, I heard words that made me miserable day and night. Even if I am a fish crying every day, I don't want to be a person who cries occasionally.
"Look, that man is pretending again." These words hurt my heart mercilessly. "People who come to this school know the level of all of us. Look at him, he looks very serious all day. What do you want? Install the boss? " "It's really annoying, cut."
What do I want to tell you? I didn't mean it at all. I just want to make up for my mistakes in the middle school entrance examination. Everyone has unhappy times in exams and happy times in exams. I can't count it in my life. Besides, you've seen enough of me lying on the operating table. What else do you want?
I repeated these words, folded them up and put them in my heart. Then I wanted to find a chance to tell you, but I found it foolish and wise to reason with unreasonable people. Don't get me wrong, it's stupid and wise.
I seem a little embarrassed in front of my mother. Your heart must have a choice. Should I let you down? If you choose to study, I will suffer more. If you choose not to study, you will suffer. When I told those people what I had hidden in my heart, I suddenly remembered that photo. Some people are laughing, others are standing with their hips crossed. Finally, a burst of laughter resounded through the classroom. This is the best test for me. I put my bag on the chair and ran to the dormitory alone.
"I'm sorry, mom." I came to my senses as if I had just come out of a terrible dream. "I want to transfer to another school. If not, I won't study. " Mother's face changed from expectation to calm, followed by anxiety. I know it's not easy to transfer now, but I, but I ... I can't help choking up and incoherent. I'm sorry, mom.
At that time, I rushed back to the dormitory, pressed the phone at home, expecting my mother's voice, but it was a man's voice, not my father's. I dare not explain to my father. I lowered my voice and said timidly, "I'm looking for my mother." My father seemed to notice something and said, "Tell me about it." I hung up.
My mother asked me, "Why didn't you tell my father in the first place? You should know everything anyway. Why did you choose to play truant? "
Yes, I don't know why, maybe I'm afraid my father's hands are rough. Afraid of his perverse personality and rough voice. I asked for leave that day and escaped from school. Wandering the streets.
When sunlight is cut by a building, what is cut off is called a shadow, and the remaining stump falls to the ground, so it is called light. The shutter doors of the shops in the street are whistling. Traffic gradually began to surge. I slept in a chair in the park all day.
I seem to have had many dreams, which are gradually superimposed, but my last dream is not over yet. In my dream, I drove a huge sparrow across the desert and oasis and finally stayed in this city. I'm going to land when I hover, and the surrounding clouds are cut open by us. When I dived underground, I was awakened by the sound of sparrows on telephone poles. Hunger forced me to go home, and my mother hugged me tightly and cried loudly.
When I was in junior high school, I still remember what my mother expected of me. You want me to have a good high school and university. Then work hard. But my decline began in the third grade.
When I was in the third grade, I fell in love with Dream Three Kingdoms, a 3d online game focusing on fighting. I was addicted to the pleasure of killing and abuse, but I forgot the effort I should have made. I still remember losing my eyes at night, and I scolded my mother for unplugging it. So I got up in the middle of the night and continued to fight until dawn. I still remember being sleepy the next day, and my eyes were dim. The teacher's harsh criticism.
I also belong to the type that I don't cry until the end of the senior high school entrance examination. I really understand that maybe I should be diligent and finish all my homework. Maybe I should forget it and review it. It's just that I was blinded by the excuse that "many people come here like this".
Mother stared at me, and the sadness in front of her gradually dissipated. She got up slowly, covered me with a quilt and said, "Go to sleep if you want."
Sleep for a while if you want. My mother didn't say it for three years, but today she finally said it. On the morning of entering junior high school, my mother was still tucking me in, and said for the last time that she would sleep for a while if she wanted to. Since then, I have been urged by my mother every morning, and that sentence has been changed to "I hate people who are late, hurry up."
I opened the curtain, the man put out the remaining cigarettes with his feet, and the aunt in the distance drew water from the well. Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock a new dawn.
I don't know whether this change is a blessing or a curse for me. I traded my suffering for my mother's concern, and I don't know if it's right. But at least now, I feel a warm current rising slowly. It is like the morning sun, bright but warm to the bone.