When it comes to breakdown, let it out.
Before we want to "control" our emotions, let's get to know them again.
In We Can't Be Beasts, Deep Sea Crystal wants to be "the person everyone needs", so she has been suppressing her feelings in the workplace.
Emotion has protective significance for individuals. Each emotion has a corresponding function, which helps us to understand our inner needs.
When we are angry, anger will remind us to refuse or stay away from harmful experiences;
When we are happy, happiness can help us to establish a safe relationship with others;
When we are sad, this kind of emotion will remind us that some inner pains need a safe release channel.
Wait a minute.
There is no good or bad mood. What is destructive is that we reject the need for emotional communication, or we mismanage it.
Facing different occasions, we will mobilize different psychological resources. Different people, different scenes, different feelings of pressure, different coping styles, leading to different coping styles.
Four levels of expressing emotions
Emotional expression has several levels, from low to high.
The first level, body expression.
Why are many physical and mental diseases, such as cancer, hypertension, gastric ulcer, immune system diseases ... obviously physical diseases, but always related to psychology?
Because behind these diseases, there is often pressure to express emotions.
When emotions can't be expressed, they don't just disappear, but become the products of various pressures in the body, attack body organs, and finally express themselves in the form of diseases, which is called somatization in psychology.
The second level is behavior expression.
When a person is in a hurry, he picks up the cup and falls. This is to express his emotions with his behavior.
Behavioral expression is more mature than physical expression, because when expressing emotions by behavior, the parties can feel them, while when expressing them by body, the parties sometimes can't clearly feel the existence of those emotions.
People who often use behavior to express their emotions will also suffer various destructive results in their lives, such as interpersonal relationships becoming very tense-because ta can't clearly describe his emotions, and others can't understand ta well, which makes it more difficult for ta to feel and express his emotions, and it is also difficult to get understanding and help. Slowly, the relationship with people around you will be destroyed and people around you will feel very hurt.
The third level, language expression.
This is a more mature expression.
When we can clearly express our emotions in words, it at least shows that we have experienced the internal psychological process of feeling emotions, evaluating the safety of relationships, organizing language expression, etc.-this process is not simple, so it is not easy to express emotions in words.
Many people can't express it in words because they don't have enough sense of security in the relationship, and they would rather endure than express it. The result of forbearance is either to hurt yourself or to hurt each other because of the outbreak.
A very important job of dynamic (psychoanalytic) psychological counseling is to help visitors develop the ability to express themselves in words, because once they can express themselves in words and the pressure is released, they don't have to express themselves by actions or hurt their bodies.
The fourth level, symbolic expression.
This is a very mature expression, such as children who lost their homes in the earthquake, building a house with building blocks, tearing it down and building it again. In this process, children express their feelings about losing and rebuilding their homes in a symbolic way.
By the way, games are very meaningful for the development of children's sound personality. )
Five concrete suggestions for managing emotions
When we have a sufficient understanding of the role of emotions, what we need next is the ability to experience emotions and understand them. The more familiar and rich we are with emotions, the stronger our ability to manage them.
Good emotional management ability also comes from our inner attitude towards ourselves and others. The more capable we are of loving ourselves, the more capable we are of loving others. When there is enough acceptance and respect for life in our personality, we also have the ability to choose a better way to manage our emotions.
As for managing emotions, you can try some simple techniques:
1. Listening is more important than speaking in interpersonal relationships. Pay more attention to the mood behind the text, and don't be disturbed by the literal meaning. Moreover, * * * emotional listening itself can help build good interpersonal relationships.
2. Deal with emotions first, then deal with things. Avoid dealing with things emotionally, which will make things worse.
3. When emotions are about to get out of control, stop yourself first and count to dozens before you speak. Many times, emotions are not so harmful.
4. Try to express yourself directly, instead of expecting yourself to understand without saying anything to each other. Such expectations can only bring frustration to both sides.
The most important thing is to grow your own personality. When a person's personality is healthier, he is more capable of respecting himself, others and being loyal to himself. The more true a person is to himself, the easier the relationship with others will be.
May we always embrace our feelings tenderly.