Every child is a piece of jade
Before starting the article, let’s take a look at the following Q&A!
Q: How is your child’s academic performance?
Answer: Not bad, I study very seriously, but I am much worse than my neighbor Yang Yang, and I always rank behind others.
Q: What hobbies do children usually have?
Answer: I just love playing football, and I go crazy with it. It’s not as elegant as other children’s hobbies. Like Shu Chang and Ding Ding, they love playing the piano and painting, and they can write very well with calligraphy. , my child can’t.
Q: Are you satisfied with your child?
Answer: Not satisfied, very dissatisfied! There is no comparison with those good kids!
Q: What aspects of your child are you satisfied with?
Answer: Nothing is too satisfying!
If we ask you this question, how will you answer it?
Are your children really inferior to other people’s children? Are you really so dissatisfied with your child?
Always look at the strengths and weaknesses of other people’s children with envy, and stare at the shortcomings and deficiencies of their own children with an expression of dissatisfaction; always feel that other people’s children are geniuses and their own children are “mediocre”; others Your children are gold, and your own children are sand. There are many parents who always hope to remind their children to realize their "wrongness", "badness" and "insufficiency" through comparison, and to use this to stimulate their children's ambition. Poor parents in the world, all parents have good intentions, but the results are often counterproductive. In the long run, it will only kill the child's personality and make the child really feel that he is inferior to others in every way, leading to a self-defeating mentality.
13-year-old Chen Guang is a lively and cute boy who studies very seriously and hard. However, his grades have always been among the top 10 in the class and there is no sign of regression or progress. The children are almost in their second year of junior high school and will soon face the high school entrance examination. Whether they can get into a key high school will mean whether they can get into a prestigious university in the future. Chen Guang's parents became anxious. The couple decided that the family's first priority now was their children's studies. His mother tutored liberal arts and his father tutored science. They even invited tutors on weekends to provide comprehensive tutoring, and set goals for their children to take exams this semester. Chen Guang's life became tense as he strived to get into the top five.
On this day, Chen Guang finished school and just put his schoolbag on the desk when his mother followed him in. "Look at you, even your movements are lazy, as lazy as frost. No wonder your grades are not improving! Look at Wang Quan, he is always full of energy. At first glance, he looks like a motivated kid. Last semester I was ranked first in the whole school year, in all 6 classes! How enviable! I also learned very well in Cambridge English, and what else, oh, it’s hard-tipped calligraphy, and I’m still in the district. He won the second prize in the competition! His parents have no time to tutor him in his studies, and they don't have the money to hire a tutor. Look at others and look at you. For the same child, our family's conditions are better than his. If you want more, you can get whatever you want. You said you have any requirements that are not met? If you want a learning machine, buy a learning machine. If you want a computer, buy a computer. If you want a mobile phone, buy a mobile phone. But why can’t you keep up with others? Son, you have to work harder. Ah! You have to give face to your parents! Did you hear that?"
Chen Guang sat at the desk, holding his head with his hands, and his mother's words were like a pack of needles. It hurts so much in my skin. He felt his heart tightening and his head felt dizzy. It was like this every day. He didn't know when his mother would stop saying such things. Sometimes he doesn't want to go home after school. He is really afraid that his mother will nag him endlessly!
The days passed day by day, and it was the end of the semester in the blink of an eye. Chen Guang’s results did not enter the top 5, but regressed, ranking 15th. Chen Guang, who was originally lively and cheerful, now becomes quiet and often looks melancholy...
The famous educator Comenius said: "Every child is unique in this world. , we should respect children as we respect God.
The famous pianist Chopin showed interest in music at a very young age. When he was less than 2 years old, whenever his sister played the piano, he would dance with joy and giggle non-stop, but When the music stops, he cries. Chopin's mother discovered her child's interest and consciously asked him to listen to more music. She started piano lessons when he was 4 years old. At the age of 19, Chopin wrote the famous "Piano Concerto" and became famous in one fell swoop. Chopin's experience of becoming a successful person was precisely because he had a mother who was good at discovering her children's talents and cultivating them!
In fact, every child has genius traits. As a parent, have you discovered what talents your child has?
Since every child has his own personality and his own way of expression, some children’s talents may be overlooked by their parents. Therefore, as a parent, you must carefully observe your children, discover and release their children's talents, and don't just focus on your children's scores. Scores are not the only criterion for measuring a child's success.
Che Liang, a member of the 4th National Top Ten Young Pioneers, is a small inventor with many patents. At first, he wanted to take apart any toy he got and take a look at it. His father didn't blame him, he just said, "Just put it back together as you took it apart." Seeing his father's stern look, Che Liang was very careful when dismantling the toy. Every time he removed the parts, he put them in order. After thinking about it,
install them one by one. Just like this, I disassembled and installed, and became a little inventor. Only in elementary school, he has already obtained three national patents. Of course, as a parent, you should not only appreciate your children's interests, but also be good at discovering your children's interests. No matter what your attitude towards your child's interests, you must discover and support them with great enthusiasm so that they can develop into abilities.
In this information age with the rapid development of science and technology, there are new challenges everywhere. Every parent, including every child, lives a tense and busy life every day. Faced with all kinds of educational information, some At that time, it is really impossible to understand the essence of certain information with rational thinking, and it is impossible to know which information is beneficial and which is detrimental to the growth of children. When I saw that there were many children learning piano, I took my children to sign up for piano lessons. I heard that learning ballet can make children’s body and temperament elegant, so I forced my children to learn ballet. I heard that learning speed arithmetic can improve children’s abstract thinking ability, so I quickly took care of my children. Go study...
The night is already deep, and the parents’ eyes are so sleepy that they just want to close them, but the children still have to sit under the lamp, with unfinished homework in front of them, both in and out of class. , left by the teacher, left by the parents, the child's eyes wearing myopia mechanically move with the pen on the book, sometimes he will stop and be in a daze for a while, maybe he is still thinking about the disappointed voice of the piano teacher yesterday: "You don't like to learn piano, why do your parents force you to learn it! Isn't this a waste of money!" "My mother said, you have to learn even if you don't like to learn, you must learn!"
Yes , parents’ orders are imperial edicts, you have to learn even if you don’t like to learn! Must learn!
In fact, interest is the best teacher. Discovering children's talents is the key to unlocking and releasing children's talents. "One size fits all" education is not conducive to children's growth.
Let us calm down and observe and understand our children!
3. Understand the weaknesses of children
There are no perfect people and no perfect children in the world. Each child has different abilities in different areas. Some children are talented in one area, but may be very clumsy in another area. The most extreme examples are the great writer Qian Zhongshu and the physicist Einstein. If we try to train Qian Zhongshu to be a physicist, or train Einstein to be a literary scholar
Pengpeng has been a girl with a particularly good sense of music since she was a child. From the age of 3, as long as her mother plays There is rhythmic music, and Pengpeng dances his body to the rhythm of the music, and his posture is very graceful. The attentive mother discovered the child's talent and allowed the child to participate in ballroom dancing training classes when he was 4 years old. Pengpeng learned happily and made rapid progress.
Seeing her daughter dancing gracefully to the music, her mother felt a sense of satisfaction and pride from the bottom of her heart. She fully expected her child to make achievements in this area. Pengpeng really lived up to her expectations. She was one of the most popular children in the city when she first entered elementary school. Won the gold medal in the Latin dance competition.
Scientists, we will find that these efforts will ultimately fail. Therefore, as a parent, in addition to understanding your child's strengths, you must also pay attention to your child's areas of weakness. While maximizing your child's "advantage areas," you must also try your best to improve your child's "weak areas."
The prerequisite for better educating children and enabling them to develop in an all-round way is to understand the child, including his areas of strength and weakness. By combining the child's abilities in various fields, the child's ability structure status can be obtained. Children's ability structure status is often quite different from our intuitive judgment. Moreover, some key abilities, such as children's abstract thinking ability and generalization ability, are usually difficult for us to detect, so misjudgments are often prone to occur.