-How to praise the rights of others
Flattery is often ridiculed, mainly because a tall hat is really laborious, and the daily output is 10000. Everyone likes to grab three bad tastes, and disgusting "ass" is everywhere.
In fact, praise is divided into three or six categories, with different textures. The best products are called Zan, Zan, Zan and Fu, while other products are downgraded to Please, Flattery, Flattery and Pets.
There are several main indicators of fine compliment: ① whether it is true or false, it is willing to be persuaded; (2) no trace, quietly, people don't know; 3 Xiang Yue people, since the bow; 4 innovation, not platitudes; (5) The size is appropriate and the weight is moderate, which is exactly what you want.
It can be seen that flattery sounds simple, but it is the most difficult. Up and down a little taste, subtle things in my heart, and so on. It is impossible to get rid of the annoying cheap and vulgar production technology and raise the cost. Therefore, it is easy to be self-defeating if you deal with it carefully.
1。 Flattery is not easy to praise others, so it is called flattery. Flattery is a beautiful lie. "Flattery" is a very clumsy high-hat factory that processes fake and shoddy products, because they do not meet the standard of unanimous praise and praise.
A woman of the size of a tall hat has work standards. It is unwise to abuse the weight of the top hat completely. Praise the honor that happened in my heart, and the honor is satisfied, but I find myself exaggerating and often feel that I have been fooled. Therefore, we don't like compliments, let alone exaggerate infinity.
Too superficial pleasantries will ruin your reputation and taste at the same time. From the perspective of traditional communication, whether it is modern communication, flattery or eye-catching, it is a despicable act. Gentlemen despise it, and villains will not use naked fire, even if they are called "kissing experts" or "running dogs", they will sneer at this behavior. Kong Old Master Q's words: "I want to be a smart and fresh person, a benevolent person." Mao Zedong repeatedly criticized the vulgarity of blowing and patting, catering to it. Visible, flattery, heartless, vulgar.
In real communication, there is always some speculation in almost all flattering words presented to others. They lack self-confidence and inferiority, which is even less comparable. A justified way to win the appreciation ability of the other party to express yourself and achieve your own goals, but flattery is another effective way to make efforts.
How to do a lot of praise?
(1) Compliments, and then honesty and propriety, all of which have to be said on the other side's strengths.
People always like flattery. Even if you know that the other person is flattering, you will inevitably be complacent. This is the weakness of human nature. In other words, a person who is praised by others will never feel disgusted unless the other person is too outrageous.
The first condition of flattery is a sincere heart and a serious attitude. Words can reflect a person's psychology, so it is a pleasant feeling to speak rashly and easily seen through by the other party.
It is better to praise behind your back.
De Ying, Roosevelt's assistant, was named Bude. In his celebration and compliment, he had an excellent and beneficial opinion: it is more effective to praise others' advantages behind their backs than to their faces.
This is a highly skilled person, full of praise for all kinds of compliments, and is considered to be the most enjoyable and influential person behind.
If someone tells us, so we carry a lot of beautiful things, will we be unhappy? This compliment can be heard on our faces and in front of them. They may feel false or doubt whether he is sincere. Why does indirect voice feel sweet? Because that's a compliment. ,
German Chancellor O 'Bissie Maitie praised his subordinates in a planned way in order to defeat his enemies. He knew that he would convey what he said to those subordinates who listened to him.
(3) Don't waste all your money to throw hats like a nouveau riche.
What I don't know, a good idea, is not discussed further. You must wait to find out what he likes and what kind of praise he likes before you talk further. Above all, you shouldn't compliment others. Some people can't eat.
Hats are beautiful lies. First of all, people should be willing to believe and accept. Can't say silly children are outrageous. Secondly, they are beautiful and elegant. They can't be vulgar, condescending, destroying themselves and losing their appetite. Moreover, it is not too white and excessive behavior, without characteristics or blindness. "
When the thief saw the dog coming, they kept throwing small pieces of bread at him. The thief who stole the dog said, "Go away, you guy!" " ! Your kindness scares me. "
The thief's simple shame and compliment can't even fool the dog.
In private, Qianlong attached great importance to discussing the Seal of the Twenty-four Histories of Qing Dynasty, and often personally checked a mistake of each school, which he thought was a great event, and he was very happy.
In order to satisfy this psychological problem, ministers such as moaning without illness deliberately copied mistakes in obvious places so that they could check and correct them themselves. This is a good way to learn deeply, instead of boasting about his profound knowledge and becoming better. The manuscript revised by the emperor cannot be moved by others, but it is not a dry change. Therefore, these mistakes are often wrongly formed into many versions of the books that look at the house today.
Groaning, calculating, very smart, good at capturing the psychology of Qianlong, always choosing the right way to win Qianlong's heart. He also made careful observation and in-depth research on his temperament preferences and living habits, especially his temper, love and hate. He often thought about it, but he didn't wait for its opening ceremony. He thought of some dried dragons and didn't consider them. He also arranged well, so he was very popular with Ganlong.
Magny-two points higher: first of all, you should know yourself, every movie, but the other party doesn't realize that he is comfortable all over, because he is making a silent and correct movie.
If a person's knowledge, wisdom and status have reached a certain level, they can be praised in special lectures, which is very impressive. Just can't call it "ass", it should be called modesty. Mr. Qian is a model of genius.
Visiting Japan in winter to give an impromptu speech (poem), a professor of literature at Waseda University was at the forum. Prologue: Japan is a very bold move in learning. Even if a China scholar is knowledgeable, he doesn't have to be a pearl in his gallbladder and bile duct. The reason is simple and easy to understand. The excellent research on Japanese political parties and China culture is universally acknowledged. China scholars who are proficient in Japanese are full of admiration and humility. With your grades, they will know that it is not easy to talk about learning new things from you. I am illiterate, Japanese, and your country is rich in treasures. Just like a poor bachelor who can't read digital lock tools, he seems to be very safe, just sitting in a daze. However, blind ignorance is often the source of courage. There was a man in Italy who used to make a pun: "He invented the umbrella."
That is to say, suddenly it began to rain, and there was a bumpkin walking in the street in the backcountry. He happened to be holding a stick and a party cloth. He was in a hurry and put a stick on her head. In fact, he was soaked like a drowned rat when he got home. His self-appreciation is also a contribution of human beings and should be made public. He got wind of the invention of the patent office in the city, wrapped it in cloth and walked into the city in time. In order to realize the report of this bureau and his new invention. The bureau staff explained that they wanted to listen to him and smiled and took out an umbrella for him to take a closer look. Today, if the board of directors is a countryman, I have never seen an umbrella. However, we can't find the shelter on the roof, and there is no effective way to save ourselves.
This kind of openness is actually about two levels. Can China people who talk about learning Japanese in China take it lightly? In Japan, even China experts say that China's scholarship is good for the audience. They are not proficient in Japanese and have no capital except courage. However, self-mockery is a good way to praise others!
Praise prospective shareholders the first time you meet them. What kind of praise is most effective? The author thinks that as an object, it is best to avoid the other person's character or personality and praise his past achievements, behaviors or related materials, such as concrete, tangible things. Praising each other "You are a good person, even if you are sincere, it is easy for others to happen" is the first time we met. How do you know I'm a good person? "It's suspected to remember that I don't know. BR/>； It is different to praise past achievements or behaviors. Praise this independent fact and the depth of friendship, the other is more acceptable, this can not praise each other directly, but praise related things. If the other person is a woman, her clothes and decorations will indirectly flatter the object.
Get along well with friends and family, and friendship with ladies is the first time to be more effective in indirect flattery. Even deeper than friendship and husband, of course, our relationship will never cause misunderstanding. I only know her husband, so how did I become friends at her house the first time we met? Only with her can I say this word.
At that time, I was introduced to the wife of a friend. Is this an appropriate topic? It's easy to say that you are wearing this pendant, which is very rare and special, trying to cover up your embarrassment. What I said was completely unintentional. Because I don't understand women's decorations. Surprisingly, this pendant is really special. I only bought it at Notre Dame, which is her favorite object. After saying these words casually and listening to the past of Ms. Pendant, we became good friends from then on.
Is it easy to praise others appropriately? If praise may be irregular, it is rejection. We must find out as soon as possible, so that the other party can be frank, proud and like to be praised, and then this praise, praise the other party is a place of pride. I'm not sure about each other's pride yet. It's best not to praise at will, so that I won't be knocked down. Imagine a thin and unfortunate woman who has heard others say that she is slim. Why, I feel very happy to do so?
My editor's close friend looks like a famous actor. Whenever I go to a hotel with him, the first time I see you, you are like a movie star! In fact, no matter what his looks and temperament are, who will say to him, the actor or his girl: "Hey! Very similar. Generally speaking, some people like actors, but compliments are usually endless, but my friends have different reactions. He didn't like to listen to the flattery of the waitress and became more silent.
Waitresses may be half-sincere and half-flattering, saying those words, but ignoring each other. They just show surprise. But the friend's reaction is not surprising, because the waitress's unanimous praise is not at all. He knows his shortcoming, that is, he tends to give the impression of indifference. The movie star's role on the screen is ruthless. So, if he is like a movie star, where is praise, clearly point out his shortcomings.
In addition, information obtained from a third party sometimes shows that the other party has played an important role for the first time. Therefore, use the information obtained by individuals to compliment each other, and of course give yourself the initiative. However, if you have information and rumors are directly relayed to each other, I am afraid it is not just contempt. He enjoys a high reputation because the air is full of rumors about him. In this regard, he was tired of listening and even numb. If you bring up the past, others may seem to laugh it off, feel tired, and even say, "Look again! The same old story! " You met many mediocre people before you ran into him.
Know each other's rumors, even if they are new to you, avoid these trite compliments and praise his little-known ones. Appearing in the works of the famous writer General Yukio Mishima (immoral educational remarks), I was very happy to hear others praise his beautiful beard, but I didn't praise his fighting methods. Everyone has this kind of psychology. Perhaps many people praise the hero's overall strategy and military ability, but as a soldier, he can only be praised with one song in this respect, so as not to make him feel self-expanding. However, he will be very satisfied if you add a new item in your eulogy besides praising his military strength.
4 Sweet words may not brag and flatter, but they are always sweet words. Sweet words let the other ear enter the brain and become too proud or unconsciously or lightly taken away. Sometimes, when a person does something, he doesn't know whether it is right or wrong. If someone takes the opportunity to contribute a few good words, you will gain a lot. Deep down, "a good friend in the sense" can't help but sigh that he is too young to be "happy to hear criticism" at any time. I'm glad to hear compliments from others and say I'm glad to hear them. Its pioneers may really hate to hear criticism. In this psychological and social environment, I know that the flattering words of the NPC are not phonetic, and may even have ulterior motives, but I am still willing or willing, regardless of jumping and listening, narcissism, which is also called "pot" to make up the pot. This may be the main reason why a sad heart can still hear its meaning by flattering it.
In view of people's psychology, waitresses in restaurants and dance halls leave the word "boss" to guests at home, breaking the word "chairman". I don't know how many people suddenly, a person's heart. Their mouths are professional flattery, and they are still at the top of the world, like the real bear boss and chairman.
Suddenly become the boss, pay, what's more, their hearts are happy and natural, even if it is short and satisfactory. For a long time, because we are used to such a measure: the praise of love is hypocritical, and the picky person is sincere. The latter is valuable, so there are such sayings as "glad to hear" and "wrong friendship". We are so afraid of losing and being fooled, so nervous that when we hear praise for ourselves, the suspect is life; Be careful who you are. You never praise others easily, lest you leave a bad impression and sing sweet words.
All flattering words are well-meaning and won't kill you. Even if it is polite, it is mostly well-intentioned, and the effect is usually good. A crooked-neck tree, you praise it as beautiful, it will never be arrogant and crooked blindly, and it will make every effort to stand up straight. A lame child, you say: ah, many beautiful children (the words obviously don't match the facts)! Children will not listen to the more lame and beautiful light, but will seriously practice correction. On the contrary, when I meet you, I tell a true story: your sick child! Maybe he'll be paralyzed. Children are smarter! Try it if you don't believe me. For children, adults are all the same. All the actors in the drama performance stretch freely. I asked the director for tips, and the director said, "Some of them were made, so I thought," OK! "No matter whether the surprise is good or bad, I like to say' good' and then be specific. I heard about it, but I didn't agree with it, and I learned a lot. We also have a saying: good words warm winter, and June is cold and humiliating. Well, I don't think it refers to the truth at home, but mostly to praise. You praise a person, such as "your clothes are so beautiful!" " "If you are a teacher and his student, that day will be a teacher's kind smile, his doctor and his patient, if God bless you.
A key opens a lock, maybe you don't pay attention to praise, which is not only a good lubricant in life, but also a good way to detoxify people. Many embarrassing things are provided to it-a solution, of course, pay attention to what mountains sing what songs ",and open the key to the lock.
The opposite sex entanglement of 1 is a very difficult problem for many women. In today's society, young women come into contact with more and more people in their lives and work. Some people are naturally mobile, while others are born unnaturally. The idea of how to make a man give up will not affect the relationship between the two, which is a question praised by young women in conversation. The other party should shout loudly to make the other party's reputation bad and do bad things. As the saying goes, "beauty is shared by all." You look young and beautiful, and others want to be close to your heart, so you may not be described as a "lecherous". You might as well put a high hat on him and force him to ward off evil spirits. A woman with outstanding looks is in charge of sales planning in a company. Once the object of negotiation was the company manager, who quietly invited her: "Let's have dinner tonight, am I all right?" She had time to date, and after meeting the manager was overjoyed and affectionate. They ate and talked. The lady tried to persuade the wine manager and introduced him to the company's development plan. She praises the manager from time to time. Generally speaking, he is a modern entrepreneur with culture, temperament, trust and respect. The manager is quite proud and pretentious: "I'm flattered." The last two dances are over. Leave the manager, hold the woman's hand and solemnly say, "You are a woman's self-esteem! My heart will always remember your perfect girlish image. "
(2) Self-dilemma, which is a wrong thing, can be achieved by complimenting each other skillfully. Any negative reaction, abuse, never refuse praise. Moderate compliments make people feel warm and make the language wrong. Why not do it?
A tall, thin young lady bought a new vest and excitedly invited her girlfriend to judge it. Seeing that the clothes she is wearing are more and more like a washboard, her girlfriend can't help but blurt out, "This dress doesn't suit you." The other side suddenly sank into the water. Seeing this, his girlfriend turned to blame herself and said with a smile, "I like your slender figure." If you put knee-length loose clothes in it, it will become more and more elegant, chic and elegant. " Those short but fat people have no temperament. "Miss immediately after listening to turn anger into joy.
Girlfriend, then subtly implies that this kind of dress is not his figure, but also sincere, his optional clothing standard, slim and slender, beautiful words euphemistically point out his physical characteristics, and he is also a more stocky man, and should take care of each other's self-esteem. A seemingly compliment, but in fact it contains infinite mystery, so it seems to be euphemistic to say its own ingenious solution.
(3) stop arguing. When people get along with each other, quarrels are inevitable, and this couple is no exception. In this regard, once there is a dispute, even if they think they are right, they should avoid too much chatter and accusations. At this time, the best way is to use teasing and humorous speeches to douse the other party's anger and achieve the tax avoidance effect of resolving disputes. Wife's vanity is very heavy. When a couple were discussing attending a friend's wedding, her husband wanted to buy an expensive flowered hat. At this time, the husband and wife were in financial crisis, and the natural husband did not agree to spend the money to quarrel. The wife said angrily, "People like Xiaojin's lover should buy this flower hat for their wives as soon as possible, cheapskate!" " Her husband didn't want to refute, deliberately exaggerating: "But, her son, are you so beautiful? I dare say that they are as beautiful as you. Is it necessary to buy a hat for decoration? " A wife's humorous compliment will unconsciously turn into an angry smile, and a quarrel will stop.
4 maneuverability and arrogance. Pay more attention to self-image and self-feeling. When dealing with them, you might as well put in their performance and knowledge, and give them realistic praise to satisfy their inner honor and self-esteem. This can shorten the psychological distance and also play a role. For example, it is difficult for ordinary people to get close to strangers because of their arrogant nature. His stiff face and indifferent attitude often make people discouraged. Hearing his temper, a town secretary smiled and threw a cigarette: I walked into the board of directors and was told that the director was generous, serious and compassionate, especially for outsiders. I am very happy. I like being a leader. Happy! "Director immediately with a smile on his face, business, really effective.
Success is due to praising the clerk from the beginning. In this way, other people who are embarrassed to respect themselves will face compliments and show their ugliness. Of course, the psychological domination in maintaining self-image becomes amiable. We should pay attention to two points in the way of compliment: First, we should be realistic. The content of praise is not out of nothing, but true, and the other party will feel happy. If you are disgusting and flatter Manny, you will treat him as a villain soberly and proudly, or even ignore him. That's enough, that's enough. Praise here is only a means to change attitude, and pride is the prelude to communication. It will be meaningless if we praise blindly without asking other questions in time.
⑤ Clever accusation. At the fashion counter of a department store, for a time, guests wrote letters accusing the salesgirl of poor service attitude. The counter director's solution is really different, and the result is amazing. Instead of blaming the salespeople, he praised them. He said that the ladies chose the guests: the guests praised the friendly service and hoped to continue their efforts. "The guests say you are very polite." In this way, their hospitable attitude has obviously changed, they satisfy any guests with a smile, and their business is thriving.
This is really a clever grasp of female psychological education. Generally speaking, women are accused of saying, "What shortcomings do you want to get rid of? They even deny that they find all personalities easy to resist or cry. Zan, they are very enthusiastic and active. If you want to correct a woman with shortcomings, it is very important not to praise her advantages directly, so that they can play more advantages and get rid of them.
In a word, Zan PK is a complete model, which is very useful and effective.
Under six hats, men and women are talking about their work experiences as model conductors. One feature is that she is often in a coma. Actually, is she a male passenger or a female passenger? Look carefully, it is no accident. Consider the following code snippet: Once there is a super-tall child in the car, I said, "Your child is tall enough to buy a ticket." The passenger said inexplicably, "This child belongs to the school and bought a ticket? What about you? " I said to him in humorous language, "Are you upset that your child is so tall and developing so well in school?" When I say this, passengers will be very happy and buy tickets.
Another time, I finished advertising on the car seat. A lesbian stood up behind the ticket counter and offered her seat to a passenger with a child. The man sat down and was busy coaxing the children without saying thank you. The face of the female passenger seat suddenly became a little uncomfortable. Seeing this scene, I quickly got the answer and said, "My child, thank you aunt, so many people, so many people." "There was a male passenger in the book, but then he was suddenly shocked and seemed to understand what a busy lesbian was and said," Thank you, I'm really sorry. The baby cried. I really don't know what to do. Thank you very much. " Facing the smile of the female passenger, I quickly said, "You're welcome. "
It is a common psychology that children passengers do not specify gender, and both men and women will have the same reaction. The event of designated seats and gender exchange can't be true: female passengers generally don't forget to thank men because they are not angry.
Single terms are closely related, but there are some differences, which flatter the vanity of men and women. Vanity in the face of higher performance ability, the pursuit of fame and fortune, display, show a unique image of genius, while women seem to deliberately pursue clothes or Prince Charming around them to show their charm. Men's faces are so vain, without any hint, and sometimes surprisingly frank, while women are always secretive, still holding the lute. "Women's faces are vain and a little reserved." It seems that his purpose is to face him in life. For the sake of face, power can even be used as a deterrent, while war is for the sake of face. Women scream and curse the streets or their families and cry several times. Tell you to cry, a man's face will not hurt, destroy, or anything else that will destroy all friendship and love, not a business, hopeless promotion, ruined job.
Therefore, when praising the opposite sex, we must pay attention to skills, otherwise a little carelessness will lead to some unnecessary misunderstandings. If you meet for the first time, your praise may be interpreted as flattery or leave a too explicit, vulgar and disgusting impression, which cannot be conveyed to the other party correctly.
I think it's a good idea to use vague compliments in the first meeting with the opposite sex. If you are vague, people may understand it well.
Women should also pay attention to the following situations: ① Working overtime, if a woman says "you can go back", it will not only fail to please, but also make the other person feel that you look down on her.
Every time the business section chief of an automobile factory sees me, he complains, "The girl is so elusive that she cries. Praising a girl who offends other girls will really get sick. Recently, he whispered that he told two female staff not to leave to work overtime: "You can go back. "Imagine, the other party said unhappily," Everyone else has stayed. Why don't we go back? "It seems that his kindness seems to be despised by them.
Hate being discriminated against. The more serious this situation is, the more women have to work, instead of just saying, "You can go back." The best comforting tone says, "You work hard every day. You can go back early. If you are so smart, others will thank you for your kind and happy home in Hong Kong.
Never praise other women in front of them.
Someone said, "The enemy of a woman is a woman. For women, other women are eternal enemies.
In a girls' high school in the city, it is said that a male teacher always moves at the same speed in class. If he accidentally stops halfway, then the whole class will give the teacher an interesting girl. Some people may think it is ridiculous, but in fact, some male teachers can't bear it and quit his teaching position.
"Men will be jealous." Maybe a woman contradicts the teacher standing next to me. "This is a self-centered concept. The relationship between men and women is unique to women, that is, there is no so-called free and relaxed state in neutral countries. For example, couples go shopping together and look at the beautiful woman on the man's face and say, "Wow! Beautiful girl. "Under normal circumstances, women will be angry and will ignore him.
(3) Don't think that the nagging of the woman's family or children echoes the negotiation approval.
Women who talk to people can easily complain about their children, family and most of these words. For example, "My son's fun is really worrying." If you accidentally echo: "Yes! The child is real. " The other party must be an angry parameter, even.
Women complain that it is difficult to find such an expectation after careful deliberation: "My son is just playing. If this change stays overnight, no matter what the result is. No matter when, there will be great progress. " He may even show off: "My son is smart and just for fun.
As for Mr. Wang's complaint, he said, show off. Playing golf every week, even when he is not at home on Sunday, he really should be a person who thinks less about his children. In other words, she wants to show off: my husband is busy socializing and playing golf with guests, which is a phenomenon of successful career. I'm just embarrassed to show off directly. They complain why they don't follow such complaints. They should refuse to be relaxed and happy from her, no matter how smart they are.