"Selling Glasses" reupload date: 2009-6-19 Upload: Wuhan Spirit Popularity: 1082 Characters: A——Big liar (the role of Teacher Zhao Benshan)
B—— Big Chef (Teacher Fan Wei's role)
C - Sister-in-law (Teacher Gao Xiumin's role)
Opening: (C slowly steps onto the stage with A on his arm)
A: I competed with Chef Fan over and over again
I was very embarrassed when I won first and then lost
The first time he was kidnapped and he was deceived
The second time Selling a car fooled him into confusion
The third time he really miscalculated
Because his wife was away, he was very arrogant
He brought two apprentices, one more useless than the other.
Today I borrowed my sister-in-law to temporarily support me
(To C)
Don’t let down your brother-in-law’s high expectations
C :Brother-in-law, I’m a little scared. I feel uneasy because everyone knows that my sister is already gone.
A: Don’t panic, you and your sister look basically the same
We are using this resource
I don’t believe that even a cook can do it Bu Ping
How will you be able to make a living in the world in the future!
(B comes up from the other side, wearing a top hat, holding a cane, wearing a diamond ring, very proud)
B: The devil is as high as the road.
p>
Over the past few years, I have been fighting fiercely with that big liar
I have learned war from war, and the more I fight, the stronger I am.
"Trafficking" I have dealt with his firepower Detective
"Selling cars" is a false impression given to him by paralyzing the enemy
The third time I took advantage of the situation
and beat him to a pulp
I heard that he was very unconvinced
He still wanted to compete with me
Hehe, this time I called him: (singing: Beijing accent) There will be no return.
< p> (Look up to see A)Alas! Brother, come here early (Beijing accent)
A: Brother, you are not too late
B: Huh? The two apprentices didn't come, so they were replaced by a female general! Oh, got it. Congratulations, brother! This is the new sister-in-law. Why is he fatter than my old sister-in-law!
A: Hey, what a look, take a good look, this is your fat sister, my old wife!
B: (He staggered when he heard "wife")
A: (Said to B in a cute voice) See, this is the first round for him. He is terrified, it seems he is just like you!
B: Where did you get such a fake? The crackdown on counterfeiting is so fierce now! 12315 Let me see where you are going?
A: What a fake, old goods in new packaging, try it if you don’t believe me!
B: No...you are quite generous, but I don't have the courage yet. Besides, I’ve never paid you back before! Yes or no?
A: I still want to try it, right?
B: Don’t... your beauty trap is too straightforward.
A: (winks at C) It’s up to you, come on!
C: Oh! Master Fan, I heard that you are so rich now that you always look up to the sky when you walk. How could I forget my eldest sister after not seeing each other for a few years? (As he spoke, he pushed B in the chest provocatively)
B: Don't...don't do this, okay? You should do this to your eldest brother. (Turns to face the crowd) It seems that there is a bit of a twist in this honey trap today. (Turns to C) Alas, I have long heard that you have gone——
A: (seizes the words) Go there for a trip.
B: Over there? Which way is that over there!
C: We are on the day side, but she is on the other side of the night.
B: Why do I get more and more insulting
A (slaps his hands suddenly, as if suddenly awakening, loudly) America!
B: (B was shaken by the sudden applause and staggered again)
A: (To C) See, his spirit has completely collapsed. Today He is set!
B: If I had told the United States earlier, it would be over. I was shocked. Why is it day and night here and there? What to do! It's scary!
A: Nothing. By the way, I’ll test your geographical knowledge.
B: No - you didn’t pose the question like this. Besides, there is more than one country over there during the day and night, the United States. There are also Brazil, Peru, Canada; Paraguay, Maraguay; Barbados, Guyana; Nicaragua, and Jamaica——
C: Okay, okay, one set after another.
B: Sister, why did you go to the United States? It took so long?
C: (a little flustered) I--didn't--
A: (stealing the conversation) Beauty!
B: So beautiful that there is no trace left?
A: You don’t understand, Americans’ beauty practices are different from ours.
B: How is it different?
A: Do you know that people don’t call beauty treatments “modules”?
B: People put a lot of "images" in advance, and then the one you like can be copied on your body, right?
A: Do you see it? This cook doesn't cook anymore, he just plays on the computer.
C: Master Fan, you have changed a lot too! I almost didn’t recognize you!
A: (carefully and calmly)
A bald head with a wide-brimmed iron hammer
A cane is very delicate
Hands The diamond ring shines coldly
Analysis from the overall packaging
It also looks a bit rich
B: The jadeite on hand is from Myanmar
Ten thousand dollars for a hat
Thirty-three thousand dollars for a walking stick
These are all made in foreign countries
C: Ah! They are all imported!
A: (Communicate with C)
In these few times, I gained a lot from understanding the enemy's situation
Detailed analysis and careful consideration of the battle plan
(To B again)
A: Oh, brother, why are you so angry that you can’t hold it back?
B: Before answering your question, let me read you a letter first. This is a letter a child (said while taking out the letter from the top hat) sent me after I was fooled by you twice: "Hello, dear bald uncle," (explanation) what this "bald" refers to That's me. "I am writing this letter to you with tears in my eyes. When I saw that you were deceived by the man wearing the hat, I felt very sad," (explanation) The man wearing the hat, I will not name him here. . Please don’t compete with others for this spot if you are wearing a hat. Because that hat is very special. I heard that someone is applying for a patent. (A pulls the brim of his hat sheepishly) We continued, "But the adults are laughing. The teacher taught us to be honest children, to tell the truth and not to panic. I said to my father, people wearing hats lie. Why are you still laughing after taking money from your bald uncle? My father said to me: If you grow up like that bald man, you won’t make any money and you won’t have enough to eat. My mother also said: If you grow up like that bald man, He couldn't even marry a wife. Even if he did marry, he would be ugly. I asked the teacher, "Teacher, which one do you want us to learn, the man with the hat or the bald man?" Just follow the example of the fat aunt. (C stretches out his clothes and lifts his chest) But I’m a boy. Bald uncle, I’m going to ask you two questions. You must answer me truthfully: First, you are now married to a wife. No? If you are married, is she an ugly person? Second, do you have money to spend and food to eat? Sincerely! The person who cares about you the most: "Dear Doudou." My little friend, uncle will answer your first question truthfully now. The uncle not only got a wife on time and with good quality and quantity. Moreover, she is much prettier and slimmer than the wife of the man wearing the hat. (Turns to C) Sister, please forgive me, I didn’t do this on purpose, at least that’s what I think.
Let’s tell the truth, we can’t lie to children, right?
C: It’s okay. Who made us look ugly? If I want to look good, can your elder brother still let me go to the United States to change the "modules"?
B: Now let me answer the second question from Doudou. That is to say, it is the same question that the elder brother just raised. Since I was deceived twice by my elder brother in public, I suddenly became the focus of attention. Peace-loving people all over the country and even the world know that I am a loyal, honest and reliable person. From then on, no one distrusted me. I went to the street to sell sugar-coated reeds, and the children all shouted: "Buy the ones from the bald uncle, count how sweet they are, they are real rock-sugar reeds." I went to the street to sell vegetables, and my aunt said: "Buy what he sells, count how cheap they are, the vegetables are real." "It's fresh, heavy and full." One time, an old lady weighed two kilograms of tomatoes and handed me 50 yuan, then turned and left. I stopped the old lady and said, "I haven't asked you for the money yet." The old lady laughed. Said: "I gave you five yuan, and you took the fifty yuan out of your pocket yourself." I really wonder, how come there is such a big difference between people who live on the same earth? Even as soon as my daughter-in-law stepped out onto the street, she was surrounded by envious eyes that left her breathless. That day, a pregnant woman held my wife's hand and said excitedly: You are so lucky to have found a man who is a little more than 100%. My wife asked: Did you find a fake like a eunuch? The pregnant woman cried and said: She is worse than a eunuch! When he chased me, he was so crazy that he melted me. But before I gave birth to the child, he found another young and beautiful girl. He wouldn't come home all day long and wanted to divorce me as soon as he came home. Do you think someone with no conscience like this can still be considered a real man?
C: Yes, it’s a pity that there are not many men like you who are a little more than 100% without any impurities. Your parents are really extraordinary. They designed you to be so perfect and refined you to be purer than gold.
A: Pure! It’s really pure! Purebred man, just stay and sow the seeds, you are the sower.
B: When you and I confronted each other for the third time, it finally ended in your defeat. Little Doudou wrote to me again: Uncle Bald, our whole class is happy for your final victory. You are my idol. The next day I also had a bald head, and our teacher gave you a Japanese name: Daichi Ruoyu.
A: I think you look like a Japanese.
B: Since then, many foreign bosses have contacted me and asked me to cooperate with them. One of the American bosses said to me: I used to think you were honest and trustworthy, but now I think you are not only reliable, but also very smart. That's what you call taking a long shot to catch the big fish. What we need is people like you. I am willing to hire you with a high salary. Guess what he asked me to do?
C: (disdainfully) Look at the door, it’s reliable.
B: Scratch (NO)
A: Male nanny, don’t worry!
B: scratch (NO)
C: Do you understand foreign languages?
B: Scratch! (NO)
C: I understand, I must be tickling someone.
B: (NO) You are the one who tickles others!
A: Then... what are you scratching?
B: Let me tell you the truth, I am now the general manager of the sales department of a foreign company.
A: Pull him down quickly, it’s just you, hum! It's okay to sell sugar paste, but to be the general manager of the sales department?
B: You don’t understand this! Nowadays, everything is about a famous brand, right? I am now a famous brand, a reliable and honest brand. As long as I stand in front of that product, that product is considered to be a genuine and good product. You see, everything I wear has become a famous brand. Oh, and my little car. Since the day I drove it, it's been getting tougher and tougher.
C: Your car? (A and C both whispered and looked around)
B: Here it is! (Take out a miniature car pendant from your pocket, the body is lowered, and the key part is in your hand.)
C: Ha... a toy!
A: This car is prepared for you, a man who is a little more than 100%. …
B: You see clearly, (showing the key) the car is exactly the same as it, here is the key. Originally, I drove my car to thank my elder brother. If my elder brother hadn't "fooled" me in the past few years, would I have become a famous me? Can I let foreign bosses use it? Can we create this brand of integrity? But once you cross this intersection.
Let the police stop me and insist that I ran a red light. There will be a fine. When the policeman came closer and saw that it was me, he said nothing and wouldn't let me drive over. He said it's not too late to put the car down and come back and drive it again. I asked him why. He said that if you drive to meet that big liar, you must let someone swindle your car away. He also said——
A: Stop talking! (A forced B with penetrating eyes, and B was stared at at a loss and became sluggish.)
B: That’s what the police said. It’s a bit exaggerated, but it’s all for my own good.
A: Not only will the police not let you drive, I won’t let you drive either! (Sternly)
B: You won’t let me drive either? Why? You don’t want me to drive, right? The car is with the police. If you can get the car out of the hands of the police. That’s the real thing!
A: If you keep driving, your life will be in danger, do you know? The scary thing is that you are still in the dark!
B: Oh... ah... the police have seen through you, it's just like this! Let me tell you, if you can trick the car away from the police, the car is yours!
A: You can give up the car, but you can’t give up your life!
B: Hey... If you say you are cheating, then you are really cheating. The first time you said there was something wrong with my legs, the second time you said the disease in my legs had transferred to the brain system, and the third time you racked your brains but failed. But you are not convinced and want to fight me. This time, they said I was risking my life while driving. Each time is scarier than the last. If you have any ability, just do whatever it takes. I don’t believe it, a fox with its tail exposed wants to harm people!
A: What are you talking about? Don't take medicine. Let’s go! (Take C, take two steps and then turn around)
B: Let’s go! If I don't pull you away, your conspiracy will not succeed.
A: But I would like to ask you to remember today. Today next year may very well be your anniversary! Let’s go (turn around to leave)
B: Do you want to run away? Thirty-six strategies are the best, right? Threatening people with death. What kind of skill is this? You are running away from the battlefield. Declare failure. Don’t keep clamoring to compete with me in the future - fight if you can win, run away if you can’t, this tactic is outdated long ago! My slogan is: fight if you can win, find a way to win if you can't, turn defeat into victory, and never withdraw your troops until you win complete victory.
A: Hey! The morale is very high! Let me tell you, I am not running away, I choose silence, and remain unchanged in response to changes. The facts will prove everything.
B: What fact?
A: You will know then. There are two consequences: first, you are lying in the emergency room of the hospital; second, it is very likely that this is the last time we see each other. I want to see you again, that is The crematorium holds a moment of silence for you and sees you off.
B: This, neither of these two results is good! Then tell me, I don’t believe it. With my current vigilance, your deception can still succeed!
C: He is coming for your car, so be careful!
A: (I blame C’s expression, he seems a little at a loss and feels uncomfortable)
B: Are you having a seizure?
C: His problem is that he is weak.
B: What kind of deficiency disease?
A: It’s a disease caused by modesty.
B: I heard that pride is a disease. It seems that humility is also a disease?
A: Then I’d better not say anything, lest you misunderstand.
B: Say! Must say! I want to see how serious your modesty disease is!
A: Well, let me ask you, when you crossed the intersection just now, did you intentionally run the red light, or did you not see clearly?
B: I felt like - I didn’t feel like there was a red light, so I was stopped by the police in a daze.
A: In other words, you didn’t see the red light at all. The police said you ran the red light, right?
B: You can say that. (With a distracted expression)
A: Let me ask you again, did you notice the green light at that time?
B: Oh, I remembered it! I remember it was a green light!
A: That’s the problem. In fact, you didn’t “run the red light” at all.
B: The police stopped you even if you ran the green light! What kind of police are you calling this? (Angrily)
A: The police are right, there is something wrong with your eyes.
B: What’s wrong?
A: Color blind! Do you know what color blindness is?
B: No, it means that we don’t distinguish between red and green. We regard red as green and green as red.
A: That’s right. When you drove through the intersection just now, it was a red light and you should stop. But you took the red light as a green light and did not stop. So, the police stopped you! It’s that simple, not complicated at all!
B: So that’s it! Alas, why haven’t I discovered that I have this problem?
A: According to my analysis, you got this disease after driving a car!
B: Okay! After a long circle, you finally come to the topic! It seems that my sister-in-law is right, you really came for my car today.
A: If you don’t believe me, what’s more important, your life or the car?
B: Then I have a question, please ask!
A: Say!
B: I looked at my wife’s red vest for a long time last night. Why didn’t I mistake her red vest for a green vest?
A: Let me ask you, when you looked at your wife’s red vest for a long time, was it very, very close?
B: That’s right!
A: It’s closer than when he saw it in person?
B: That’s right! How did you know?
A: Hey...she wears a red vest too!
B: So you also watch it for a long time at night——
C: I hate it! (Shy)
A: Congratulations, you answered correctly!
B: (thinking again) My wife has another one - it's also red, and I didn't think of it as green either?
A: It must be pants, right?
B: You also know this? How...how did you know? ah! (asked in surprise and annoyance)
A: (looked at B as a reminder)
B: Sister, you also wear red underpants, right?
A: Congratulations on getting the answer right again!
B: I’m really confused, how can I not be color blind when looking at my wife’s things, but why am I color blind when looking at traffic police lights?
A: Let me ask you again, is this myopia divided into farsightedness and myopia?
B: Color blindness is also divided into distant colors and near colors!
A: That’s absolutely correct. Your current response is 0.00001 seconds faster than a computer.
B: To be precise, I belong to Yuanse!
A: YES
B: Not only can’t distinguish between red and green in distant colors, but I can’t even tell the difference between good and bad! Right?
A: (Shake hands) People need to be self-aware. You have analyzed yourself very thoroughly!
B: Brother, you know me!
A: Only by knowing yourself and the enemy can you be victorious in every battle!
B: So, is there a cure for my disease?
A: Yes!
B: Brother, tell me! I am thirsty for talents!
A: Come and see - (takes out a pair of glasses from his clothes, Li Yuhe appears holding a red light)
B: Glasses?
C: These are not ordinary glasses, they are a priceless treasure left by his grandfather’s grandfather.
A: Yohe! How do you know my family's secrets?
C: Didn’t you just fool that foreigner on the road?
B: What foreigner?
A: Oh, there is a foreigner who just wanted to spend 200,000 to buy my pair of glasses, but I was not even willing to sell them.
B: Two hundred thousand is nothing. As long as it can cure my sexual disease, I will sell it no matter how much it costs!
A: Come. Put it on and prove it.
B: Hey!
A: (A turned around and took out a round red sign like a magic trick. On the surface, both sides of this sign are red. In fact, one side can be folded in half from the middle to become (green) I have a sign here, and I noticed that both sides are red. It's like a traffic policeman's red light. I stand in the middle, and you two are one on each side. When I lift it up, it's like the red light is on. You each report the color you see. Attention, everyone is in their place——
B: Brother, it turns out you have been prepared for it!
A: Either way, we are close friends!
B: That is, that is!
A: Let’s start now! (Raise the cards)
C: What I see is a red light!
B: What I saw was also a red light.
A: Take off your glasses and try again.
B: (Awakely, he took off his glasses. When he lowered his head to take them out, A took the opportunity to turn the sign green)
A: What light?
C: No change, still red light.
B: Changed! It's a green light! (After that, B put on and took off the glasses many times, and A changed according to the circumstances)
B: (put on) red light.
C: Yes, red light.
B: (Take off) the green light.
C: Wrong! Still a red light!
B: (Put on again) the red light.
C: Yes! Red light!
B: (Takes off again) Green light.
C: Wrong! Red light!
A: (Put away the sign and walk to B) You should go to the hospital immediately for rescue now!
B: Why?
A: You have been in car accidents several times and your life is in danger, do you know? www..playauthor.com
C: Brother! It seems like you really can't drive with your eyes. I'm telling the truth.
B: Sister, I absolutely believe what you say. A foreigner once said that we are an honest couple.
A: According to what you say, am I dishonest? Okay, bring it. Let's go! (Snatching the glasses, La Bing is about to leave)
B: Alas... Brother, that’s what the foreigner said. Don’t take it to heart. In fact, we are——
A: A close friend!
B: Yes...it's a chicken. I said Brother Chicken——
A: You might as well call me Chicken Thigh!
B: My dearest brother, you have to help me, otherwise I am a color blind person——
A: I can help you with your color blindness; I can't help you with sex disease!
B: Yes... To be precise, I only have far colors, not near colors.
A: Don’t say anything. I won’t hesitate to die just to know who you are. A pair of glasses is nothing! Brother, come! Put it on!
B: Brother! (shakes hands) How can I thank you!
A: Don’t—don’t do this. (While shaking hands, he intentionally touched B’s ring. B was reminded to put the ring back)
B: Brother, this is a little thought from my little brother!
A: Don’t... (refusing, but reaching out his hand) Alas, it seems that our fingers are almost the same!
B: Brother, this is simply custom-made for you. It fits better than wearing it on my hand.
(When A reached out, he dropped the brand from his clothes. B did not notice it. C picked it up and fiddled with it twice before discovering the secret.)
C: Brother, you Look! (A turns around, grabs the brand and tucks it into his clothes quickly, interrupting to speak)
A: What did you say, top hat?
B: Brother, I’m not used to wearing this hat. Besides, you should have changed your hat a long time ago. Come on, put it on!
C: Go ahead!
A: What? Crutches!
B: Oh, brother, this top hat and cane are like the Weaver Girl and the Cowherd. With this pairing, Brother really looks a bit like Chaplin.
A: Brother! This...
B: Brother! I really can't take out my heart and show it to you. You just saved my life! If I didn't have such a pair of glasses, you told me to drive the car, stop when the light is green, and go when the light is red. Sooner or later, either someone will hit me to death, or I will be hit to death by someone else. Brother, my benefactor!
C: Brother, these glasses are an ancestral treasure of our family. We cannot give them to you casually, and we don’t want your things.
Just go ahead and do whatever you need to do, ah! (After speaking, he reaches out to take off B's ??glasses. B dodges, but A blocks it. It goes back and forth several times)
B: Okay! (Angrily) I can tell a good guy from a bad guy by wearing these glasses. Can you bear to watch my perverted disease spread? Do you have the heart to let me die because of this sexual disease? Beauty and beauty, you'd better make this personality beautiful too! Brother, I'm leaving!
C: (Angrily) I’m confused, I’m confused!
B: What? I'll go to the traffic police and drive my car, teacher - thank you!
A: Did you hear that? The eldest brother has become a teacher!
C: Then why?
A: It means that he admires us so much that we fall to the ground! Walk!
C: What are you going to do?
A: Sell this diamond ring and let’s get a car and drive away! (A turned around and pushed the crutch with force, causing the crutch to break. A was dodged and fell to the ground) Oh, you are still kicking me!
C: (picks up the broken crutch and looks closely) Isn’t this a sorghum pole?
A: Nonsense, where can red sorghum be found in foreign countries?
C: (surprised) Hey, where is the diamond ring on your hand?
A: Find it quickly! This is Burmese jadeite!
C: Here it is. (Picks it up and looks at it) Haha! What Burmese jadeite? Isn’t this the green pea from Northeast China? I looked at this top hat (I took off the top hat from the top of the nail easily, but only took off the top of the shell, and the brim was still on the top of the top). What kind of thing is this?
A: What do you know? This is called a detachable type and can be used in both winter and summer.
Two: What a waste! Isn’t this all done by newspapers? (Open) There is another piece of news here.
A: That’s all in foreign language, can you understand it?
C: Here, you can understand! (To A)
A: Shooting yourself in the foot, dash, it starts by deceiving others and ends by harming yourself! (In a daze)
C: No wonder people call you teacher?
A: What do you mean?
C: Isn’t it obvious—I learned all of this from you. This is called: treating others in their own way. You bring it upon yourself!
A: Wrong! This is called: green comes from blue and is better than blue. Students should be better than teachers! Walk!
C: What are you going to do?
A: Find a few more students.
C: Still want to lie? Pull him down! (As he speaks, the play ends.)