Two years ago, in Beijing, on such a vivid autumn day, I compared a person's feelings to autumn leaves, leaves falling from the tree of life. Fallen leaves, yes, are a symbol of decline and withering, and their mood is almost sad. However, Ye Er, a small tree floating in mid-air and standing upside down in the street, is not without its charm. In the eyes of a few willing people, they are not completely without status in this universe. "Thank you for your destruction and let us be liberated and free." They seem to be saying to the ruthless autumn wind. "Thank you for kicking us into powder and smashing us into mud, so that we can be freed and destroyed." They seem to say that to random people. Because watching, on the day when the spring breeze comes back, the seed of this humble life will change from frozen soil to a fresh world. Although their strength is invisible, it is beyond doubt.
The dullness I felt at that time was really an indescribable dullness. It seems to be a big mountain, and I have pressed it down all my life. What I thought at that time was simply poisonous. I have a poem called Poison. The first two lines are-
Today is not the day for me to sing. I have a grin on my lips. Today is not the time for me to joke. I have a cold sword in my heart.
Believe me, my thoughts are vicious, because the world is vicious, my soul is dark, because the sun has lost its luster, my voice is like a owl in a grave, because the human world has stifled all harmony, and my accent is like a ghost blaming his enemies, because all kindness has given way to all resentment.
I use this shapeless curse poem to vent my anger, but I am not desperate or pessimistic. In a very deep and depressed hysteria, I felt hope then. Therefore, in Baby, the last verse of this shapeless poem, I can still contain hopeful sentences to describe the pain of a pregnant woman during childbirth.
In my prophetic imagination at that time, I wanted to expect a great revolution. Therefore, at the end of the leaves, I still have the courage to challenge my life, solemnly declare an attitude and shout out "Yea Forever".
Eternal Yee; A year, a year, two years have passed. Has my dream come true in the past two years? Is the great baby born? Have we gained knowledge and value from suffering?
I don't know, I don't know. All I know is that a lot of ugly, swollen, depressed and depressed people cover my thoughts and my life. It's in my meridians, in my blood. I can't resist, I have no strength anymore.
We live not only by bread, but also by food. What we live on is the poet's words, love, praise and hope. "We live by love, admiration and hope." This sentence contains another condition, that is to say, this world, this human being, can bear our love, which deserves our admiration and allows us to hope. But what is modern? What is the performance of human nature, what we have seen and heard? I don't think we are strangers, so we don't need to hide it, and we really can't. There is no expression of humanity here, except ugliness, filth and darkness. Too ugly, we have love in our fiery chest, but we can't love it; Too dirty, we have admiration, but we can't admire it; It's too dark for us to hope. The sun dog ate it, and we can only be silent in the boundless darkness, forever! This seems to be a tragedy after a strong earthquake. My thoughts, feelings and personality have been smashed into unmanageable pieces, which are unsystematic and incoherent and can never be found again. But we asked me to speak at this time, which made me feel an abnormal discomfort. Sad, because of their own misery; Very uncomfortable, especially since I feel that your invitation is more than just an invitation to talk. Of course, you didn't invite me for any ready-made doctrine. Then I am a layman and have no special knowledge. Then I am an idiot. You know I'm a poet, and his master, apart from a few castles in the air, is at best warm-hearted. You invited me, and some of you feel the sadness of this era, an inevitable situation, just like me. So, if you want me to be a comrade in this sad and depressed situation, I hope I can give you some humorous metaphors and tell you a little joke to give you some comfort. In such a small half hour, we can forget the coldness of time in the warmth of sympathy. Therefore, I hesitated. I'm afraid I didn't explain, and I'm uneasy about not coming. I also want to talk to you about a few things that are far from real life, but believe me, my friends, this idea is futile, because whether the starting point of your thoughts is starlight, the moon or butterflies, you just turn around and meet the basic problems of life, standing like a few tombstones that stand in the way.
No, we can't avoid them The questions about life in this era are small, big, crooked and right, just like butterflies around us. Just as they forced me to declare a firm attitude two years ago, they still force me to express a firm attitude today. Well, I think this is my chance to clear my mind again. When we are completely incapable of solving life problems, we can only admit failure. But what is our current problem? If they have the power to overwhelm us, we should at least look up and recognize the face of the enemy. For example, medical care. We must first see what this disease is, and then take medicine to hope to cure it. There is no doubt that we are ill. But we may not be able to answer which part of the disease and what is the most important symptom. At least, everyone has his own answer and will never agree. Just say that this era is boring; Boredom can't appear out of thin air, can it? It also has various reasons, and we must find out what is going on. In other words, we must solve our problem first and then try the second step to solve it. Perhaps in the study of analyzing our diseases, some kind of symptomatic medical treatment will unexpectedly appear. Let's have a try.
Having said that, we can imagine that a group of optimistic gentlemen looked at us coldly and laughed. They laughed at us for having nothing to do, talking about life and talking about fundamental problems. There is nothing wrong with life. It's all because the metaphysical ghost got into the lazy man's mind, and it doesn't matter there! Being a man is being a man, and the important thing is to do it. You are naturally fond of industry, so you just need to find something to do with engineering. You like to talk about sorting out the past, so you can just find your national heritage to sort it out. Work, more work, is the only gospel. If you concentrate your mental energy on the work you are willing to do, you won't be sentimental and whiny easily. As long as you try your best, there will be no problem.
This is hot and brittle at first. What's the problem? Just do your job well, why bother yourself! But when you think about it carefully, it is obvious that there are still loopholes in the little gospel. Although many groans in this era are just lazy faking or illusory imagination, we can say that this era is already sound. Are the so-called illness and troubles nothing more than psychological effects? Although there was a great poet in Germany from the beginning, his great genius made him interested in any mental activity. Tired of working in the science laboratory, I ran out and fell in love with a woman, which westerners say is "falling in love"; Later, he was bored or lovelorn. As soon as he felt bored or depressed, he quickly flew into his laboratory, closed the door, closed his emotional door and devoted himself to his scientific research. For him, the so-called work is really a relief, a barrier and an adjustment, but how can it be compared? How can we have Song's great restraint when we young people can't distinguish between emotion and reason? So we must study our own diseases and come up with possible treatments.
This working theory is practically impossible. Because if social organizations can really allow each of us to choose jobs according to our own wishes and have the opportunity to continue to engage in this part of the work, isn't it a golden age? "People have their own careers and live a quiet life." Is there anything else to talk about? Is modern such an era? Businessmen can do business with peace of mind, students can study with peace of mind, and writers can engage in literature with peace of mind? It is precisely because in this era, everything is upside down and chaotic, so this common anxiety disorder will appear, so there is a problem, otherwise we are willing to ask for trouble if we eat seriously and have nothing to do.
Let's look at our symptoms.
The first obvious symptom is confusion. The existence and progress of crowd society are conditional. This condition is the harmonious cooperation of various physical and intellectual activities. The general clue and commander-in-chief in these activities is an untraceable thought. We can simply say that philosophy has stipulated the aspects of human efforts with the times or leading the times, and given it an explanation, a fixed value and a meaningful development if possible. Thought is a mission, which is to guide human beings to evolve from unconscious and meaningless activities to meaningful activities. Conscious understanding and understanding of this concept is the most brilliant victory and the most thorough happiness in the history of human culture. Sure enough, this part of philosophical thinking can control the activities of this part of people and the whole society, and this society is on the right track: on the contrary, if this part of thinking loses its position as commander-in-chief, it will be broken, and various physical and intellectual activities may conflict at any time and anywhere, and the retreat of the center of gravity is the main reason for various imbalances. China is now suffering from the loss of this center of gravity. The result is that everything is out of line and inappropriate. Our oldest country is also miserable. For a century, there has been no thought at all, from relaxation to relaxation, from laziness to busyness, from busyness to recklessness, from recklessness to chaos. I think these adjectives can sum up the history of China's thoughts in the last hundred years. —— In short, it completely abandoned the position of commander-in-chief, lost its system and lost its goal, and the result was modern China: a mess.
Chaos, chaos, everywhere. Because of the incompetence of thought, it leads to all kinds of confusion, which is a step. From this kind of chaos, the ideological noumenon is affected, so that it is also infected with this kind of chaos. For example, a person suffers from various diseases because of physical weakness, and the spread of this disease will come back to erode the patient's limited energy and make him weaker. This is the second step. Economy, politics, society, where is not strange, where is not chaos? This affects the individual is the imbalance between reason and emotion, and the emotion that is not controlled by reason is emotion, which is always floating, shallow and fruitless; Because passion prevailed, the result was the wrong activity. In order to find a clear goal, our literati became politicians, scientists and non-scientific officials, students gave up their pursuit of knowledge, and workers made sacrifices of careerists. This kind of chaos has affected our youth, which is also one of the reasons for boredom.
This symptom-chaos-has entered the second symptom-transformation. What is the normality of crowd society? Crowd is a combination of feelings. Although all curious thinkers tell us that people kill each other and hurt each other, or that the unity between people is basically based on the instinct of fear, although we can also see vicious manifestations in an orderly society, we still believe that social discipline is maintained by positive feelings. This means that in a normal social balance, the weight of love must exceed the weight of hatred, and the spirit of mutual assistance must exceed the phenomenon of killing each other and hurting each other. However, in a society without an ideological center with a guiding mission, all kinds of bizarre anomalies are possible.
When a society can't provide normal jobs, even with strict laws, rampant bandits can't be banned. A society cannot guarantee safety and rewards perseverance. As a result, the original legitimate businessman became a speculator who used his wife's life and property as a short position. As long as we open our daily newspaper, we can know whether this modern society is normal or abnormal. Generally speaking, they can only be divided into two categories. One is the theme of terror. Robbers, troops, bandits, kidnappers, politicians, ambitious politicians, and all powerful speculators are. What they do, whether openly or covertly, is directly or indirectly a kind of terrorism. Another one was threatened. In the first stage, they always threatened oppression with weapons and other things, demanding to satisfy their own selfish desires, while in the latter stage, they always crawled, trembled and called for help. Isn't this abnormal? This abnormal phenomenon is manifested in all kinds of absurd and bizarre ideas. Generally speaking, most of the socialist ideas we can hear now are calculated to death except mediocrity. Isn't this a pervert?
This abnormal phenomenon affects our youth and is also one of the causes of anxiety.
This chaotic and abnormal audience has caused the third phenomenon-the inversion of all standards. The conditions of human life are not only food, clothes and shelter; "People are different from animals, so we can't get rid of a considerable moral concept when talking about human nature." . This is invisible air, and its freshness is a necessary condition for our healthy life. We can't live without ideals and beliefs, and the sustenance of our real life has never been in a simple food and clothing room. We worship heroes-heroes in a broad sense-because in their career, we can feel spiritual satisfaction and encouragement, inspire our nobler nature and bravely exert the greatness of human nature. You worship your lover because she represents the virtue of women. You worship contemporary politicians because they represent selfless efforts. He worships thinkers because they represent the courage to seek truth. The meaning of this worship is the standard. Although the fashion of the times is changing, the moral standards will never waver. These moral norms, we ask the times to give us concrete expressions of these moral norms at any time. On the bleak road of life, it seems that there are several stars hanging. But what have we got now? Don't we have a sincere admiration? Why don't we let go of our urgent expectations for one thing or another, or for one person or another? However, I don't need to say it! Is there anything that won't make us feel confused, disappointed and sad? Speaking of people, what can be more tragic than the bankruptcy of ordinary people? I don't know what kind of devil autumn wind, but we have seen our idols fall one by one! Seeing the moral standards one by one, stained with unclean filth, that is called ugly personality! There is no standard. This inversion of morality and personality affects our youth, which is also one of the reasons for boredom.
Along with these symptoms, there is also a shocking phenomenon, which is the repression of general creative activities, which is also a natural result. Because the conditions of literary and artistic creation activities are a peaceful and orderly social state, a normal life and the foundation of idealism. Now all we have is the confusion, degeneration and bankruptcy of our spiritual life. It's like poisoning the fountain of life. How can there be expressions of truth, goodness and beauty in the thoughts flowing from here?
The symptoms of diseases in this era are inexhaustible. This is the most complicated disease, but from the points we mentioned above, it seems that we can get some news, at least I personally think so. -That little bit of news is the embarrassment of life or the decline of vitality. We are sick because the organization we live in lacks the center of thought, and its mission is to lead and direct. But why is this? My explanation is that our nation has reached a vibrant and embarrassing period. The stream of life itself has almost dried up: how can we stand it, and the diseases we are suffering from now are fatal symptoms that directly destroy the ontology of life. This can be a little further, but we have to start from the origin. First of all, we should remember that our nation is an extremely ancient nation. We know that everything has its limited life; A tree can only be green for a few years, and after this period, it will decline, and a flower can only bloom a few degrees, and then it will die (although from another perspective, they are all immortal, because although they are going to die, their seeds still have a chance to continue to grow). Our trees have a long life in human forests. Our bloodline is relatively pure, and even our neighboring ethnic groups in Tibet are not mixed with us. Another feature is that we always think that Jpua is a scholar and Jpua is a businessman, which is the result of the scholar-bureaucrat system. The task of thinking is entirely the patent of the scholar-bureaucrat class, and because of the economic system, the most energetic farmers have no chance to study at all, because the scholar-bureaucrat class has formed a lonely position. You should know that knowledge is a kind of depravity, especially from the perspective of vitality. Coupled with the narrowness of our old educational concept, the scope of our ideological and instinctive activities is absurdly narrow. We only have a few books, a set of lifeless and stale literature, which is our only tool. This situation is similar to that of a bay connected with the sea. Later, due to the expansion of sand, the water in this bay gradually isolated the sea where it used to be and turned it into a lake. At first, the lake may be able to bear the source of several mountains and rivers, but later, after the change of Linggu, this part of the source was also cut off. As a result, the lake dried up and became a small pool, even a small pool that stopped water, covered with moss and duckweed stalks, which could be completely dried up slowly. This is a similar situation for our educated gentry class. At present, the so-called knowledge is just a stagnant pool with loose mud and grass and more or less wrinkled wind. Don't look at it and feel sorry for its future. How many lives can there be?
Therefore, although our disease has more than one symptom and looks complicated, it is only a primitive disease, which is called deficiency of both qi and blood in Chinese medicine. The boredom we feel now is just the boredom of being immersed in this stinking water not far from death. What else can we say? Because water does not flow, grass grows, and the expansion of this grass helps to absorb this limited water. Similarly, because our vitality has been cut off, various primary diseases have appeared, and these diseases have come back to erode the source and help destroy this vitality.
In this case, isn't it completely desperate?
It's not that easy. The withering of a big tree and the decline of a nation will not happen overnight. Of course, we will still die. It's just that how to do it is our problem. I said that the root of our illness is that we are losing the focus of our thoughts, and that is because our vitality is too thin. In fact, our reading class has formed a very lonely situation. First, because of class relations, it is completely isolated from the most dynamic peasant class in the country. Second, because of abnormal education and social fashion, he is extremely urbanized, corrupt, extravagant and lazy in life, completely divorced from the sound influence of nature and turned into a self-eroding moth. In terms of intellectual activities, it just tends to be thin, shallow, sophistry and even stylized. Without the commander-in-chief, all kinds of disorders followed.
The development of this deformity is worth pondering. On the one hand, you have your reading class, poisoned by too many civilizations, and moving in the direction of corruption and rigidity day by day, but you can't deny that it is intellectually developed. Just because of the inversion of moral standards and the lack of idealism, its activities are not talk.an excellent course. Let's say that the teenagers in this hall, especially the most prosperous young people in Jiangsu and Zhejiang, are vulnerable. But the problem is not all physical weakness, especially the mental activity itself is sick. It has only stings, no sound sources and no natural resources. Exquisite and novel ideas are not what we need. What we want is a pure and sound thought that comes from enriching life and strong vitality. This is a strong thought.
At the same time, let's look at the peasant class, which accounts for 89/ 10 of our nation. Their simple life, simple brain, simple feelings, shallow consciousness and cultural orientation make them form a kind of human with only biological functions. Their muscles are well developed and they can work, but due to lack of education, they have no chance for intellectual activities at all. As a result, according to biological practice, they degenerate because they are useless, and their brains can't work at all. Of course, children in the country are not as promising as children in the city, and children of rough people are certainly not as good as children of scholars. But now, in order to save the life of this culture, we must quickly have a sound vitality to supplement our reading class, which is fed up with the poison of excessive civilization. Some people say that this reading class is hopeless. I hope that if there is one, it is the uncivilized peasant class of our nation. My consciousness is that we should use this uncut energy to supplement our over-exploited gentry class. When it comes to implementation, we must first break the invisible class boundaries and provincial boundaries. Intermarriage and marriage are necessary. Comparatively speaking, people in Guangdong, Hunan and even the north are much healthier than those in Jiangsu and Zhejiang, and people in rural areas are much healthier than those in cities. Therefore, Jiangsu and Zhejiang people should try to marry northerners, and urban people should try to marry farmers. But this is easy to say, but in fact it is extremely difficult. When it comes to marriage, who is willing to give up his happiness? For the sake of the slim future of the nation, who is willing to leave the slim girls in the south of the Yangtze River and go to the country to find a thick and stupid girl to match? Who is willing to get to know his cousin in menstruation or even his classmates and sisters, and go far away to find a spouse among mainlanders with different accents? I know it's hard. But hope has not completely disappeared-this hope is completely in education. First, we must quickly realize that the disease in this era is nothing more than a primitive disease, and any chaotic abnormal phenomenon is nothing more than the lack of life. These diseases are directly fatal. Therefore, in order to improve our culture and ideas, we must find ways to open the way, so that these isolated stagnant waters can be repeatedly supported by natural springs, and all obstacles and blockages will naturally be eliminated-ideas must be directly enthusiastic from the ontology of life. This over-civilized race must bring it back to the origin of life, and it must be reborn. Then, with this goal, we have to vigorously promote educational opportunities to the healthy peasant class and reward intermarriage between classes. If the power of the state can interfere with personal marriage, we can force you teenagers to marry big girls in the country, and at the same time marry us attractive girls to farmers as wives. Besides, everyone knows that the criteria for choosing a spouse are not perfect. Women should marry rich, extravagant, vain and feminine men; Men's tastes are also inappropriate. Nothing is perfect, oh, this poisonous civilized society! On the day when our ideal is realized, if our culture can be saved, young men and women in the future will have the advantages of both scholars and farmers, and their physical strength and intelligence will be equally developed. From this sound tree of life, we can expect to eat the fruits of beautiful and sweet thoughts!
As for us personally, I also have some opinions. It's just that time is tight today, so I'm afraid I won't have a chance to play. But in a word, we should recognize what disease we are. This virus exists in our body and blood, and there is no room for denial. As long as you don't admit your mistake, there is always a way to get sick. My view is to be as close to nature as possible, because nature is a sound and pure influence with endless spiritual nourishment and inspiration. It all depends on our conscious cultivation. We must first make up our minds not to be slaves of the times and time, but to be masters of our own thoughts and lives. This temporary dullness can never overwhelm our ideals. We should just be grateful for this profound dullness, because here we have some news of self-awareness. As I said just now, we still have to work hard, we still have to persist, and our attitude is positive. Just as I shouted eternal yes at the end of the fallen leaves two years ago, I still want you to shout eternal yes after me today.