Hello, I am Xidi Plan, and I am honored to answer this question for you.
The four-year-old boy is a little timid and needs to be improved. My advice is to trust and appreciate children's character.
In fact, in the child's personality psychology, this type of child belongs to the kind personality.
Kind children are timid, and cowardice is not a girl's patent. This kind of character can be seen in all kind children. It can be said that this is a natural character.
From a physiological point of view, some children's central nervous system is sensitive to external stimuli, so it is easy to produce strong reactions, especially to fear. Simply put, children are more sensitive than other children and more afraid of what they are afraid of.
Kind children are not only timid and introverted, but also related to their gentleness, kindness and generosity. In fact, in interpersonal communication, we like this kind of quiet children very much, because their personalities are easy to get along with and they will not conflict with others easily.
Children of this character decide that they have no paranoid possessiveness. Every time parents come to the parent-child competition, the son often only cares about whether he participates or not, and winning or not has little to do with him.
In addition, they seldom offend people, do not fight with others, and have a kind of sympathy. Because of this, children with this personality are actually very popular with children.
I prefer to say "quiet and introverted" rather than timid children. For enthusiastic and extroverted children, friendly children are always introverted and quiet. They don't like fighting, but prefer to stay quietly in the corner reading books and observing things. For them, this is a kind of enjoyment beyond loneliness.
And they seldom give their parents any trouble, because it's too quiet. Even if there is only a toy car, a book and a piece of colored mud, they can play all afternoon. Sometimes he can even sleep quietly without disturbing him.
Besides, they don't like crowded places. Although all children can live in harmony, they prefer to have a quiet space and not disturb him.
What do parents need to do? Although friendly children are very popular and modest, it is an indisputable fact that they are timid. Even a child with a good personality will have a bad influence on his future and career if he is allowed to be timid all the time.
We all know that fear can be overcome and courage can be exercised. Therefore, as the most trusted object of children in their early years, we should help them solve problems.
First of all, parents should have enough patience. Overcoming fear can't be done at once. Second, give children confidence. We know that encouragement and praise can increase children's self-confidence and become more and more brave. Remember not to blame and scold children, so timid children will only become more timid.
Besides being timid, the problem of being too modest cannot be ignored. Everything has two sides, no temper, and blind obedience will only make children look weak. If they don't pay attention to it, they may become complacent and have no initiative in adulthood.
Finally, although the child's personality largely determines the future direction. There is a good side and a bad side. For timid and introverted children with friendly personality, we should not only educate them to have a sense of competition, but also cultivate their courage and confidence.
In addition, learn to appreciate children, appreciation is the best trust, and trust children from the heart. Appreciate his brave attempts and efforts every time. Because every child has great potential, and trust can maximize the potential of children.
From the perspective of sensory integration, fear of playing with water and trampoline is related to children's sense of touch and vestibule.
Touch is familiar to all of us, for example, we feel the heat and cold of the surrounding environment through the skin touch receiver.
If a child is sensitive to touch, his receptors feel hotter and colder than ordinary people, and his adaptability to different fabrics and clothes is also different. For example, some children should wear pure cotton clothes, which is more comfortable.
Vestibular sensation, which we don't often mention, is closely related to our life.
Vestibular sense is located in the inner ear behind our ears, which is an important organ for us to feel the changes of up and down gravity and horizontal displacement, and is closely connected with our optic nerve and auditory nerve.
When we take the elevator, we feel that the elevator is running up and down, or when we sit on the merry-go-round, we feel dizzy and the vestibular sensation is at work.
Children dare not go to the seaside and dare not go into the water;
One reason may be that children are sensitive to touch. He felt the cold of the sea. Unlike others, the sea gave him a greater sense of touch, so he was afraid to go into the water.
Another reason may be that the way of family education is too simple, and children don't often get in touch with the outside world, so children will feel insecure at the crowded seaside.
Children dare not play trampoline;
It may be that the child's vestibular sense is too sensitive. The jumping up and down of the trampoline makes the child feel that he has lost his gravity and increased his sense of insecurity, just like the feeling of being afraid of heights.
In addition, it is also related to children's poor sense of visual space. Children can't estimate the distance between the ground and their feet well, so they are prone to fear.
Of course, this is only my speculation according to the description, and a more accurate conclusion needs comprehensive sensory evaluation.
We have been on the road to help students' quality education and popularize children's sensory training.
My baby may also be a timid child!
When he was learning English letters, he learned L, and the related video was a roaring lion.
Eva refused to learn the word after reading it.
Once Eva and other children were scared to cry when they watched the cat catch mice.
Another time, I bought him two picture books with horror elements, but Eva refused to read them and locked him in her "horror box".
Actually, in my opinion, it's nothing. I accept his fear and don't think it's cowardice.
Children aged 2-5 will feel terrible about some imaginary things, such as monsters, and will be nervous and stiff in the face of strange environment. In fact, we adults are also afraid of loneliness, afraid that we can't integrate well into the new environment, maybe we are worried about danger and so on.
The reason why the baby is timid: 1, personality, some originally introverted children are easily labeled as timid;
2, the image power is too rich;
There is an episode in the comic book Thomas in which Certi is frightened by his rich imagination.
If the child is due to the problem of imagination, you can show this set of cartoons to the child.
3. I have been exposed to some bad experiences recently;
Eva was scared for several days after watching Cats Catch Mice.
4. Parents spoil them too much;
Everything is for the children, and the children are protected too well, so that the children feel very independent and capable.
5. Too many restrictions;
Keep the child within the boundary frame you set for him, so that the child does not dare to cross the border.
6. Threatening;
Every parent has used intimidation more or less to achieve their goals, but if intimidation is excessive, children will root this fear psychologically and become more and more timid.
7. Label at will;
Even if my baby is like this, I won't say that my baby is timid, because fear is a normal emotion.
How to deal with children's fear? 1, accept the child's fear, appease the child, please allow the child to be afraid;
2. Help children reduce their fears;
For example, at this time, you can hold the child's hand and ask him what he is afraid of. Will mom stay with you?
Specific words should be adjusted according to the specific situation of children. On the premise of understanding children's emotions, gently push children and let them try to slowly integrate into the new environment.
Empathy is very important I don't know how to understand children. Please imagine what you are afraid of. How do you want others to comfort you and understand you?
3. Find out the real reason behind the child's fear. Is it fear of certain things, lack of social skills, or lack of security?
Find the corresponding strategy for specific reasons.
4. Examine your own educational methods, correct the wrong parts in time, and encourage children at ordinary times.
5. Eliminate children's anxiety and fear through picture books and games.
Picture books recommend I'm so worried and Willy the Coward.
Hello! I'm happy to answer your question. I want to answer them from the following points.
First, often take him out to play. Dare not try to play trampoline, dare not play in the water by the sea. As an adult, you can make a demonstration, or take him into the trampoline and play in the sea together.
Second, teach children to make friends and know how to share. We should take him to play with children of the same age and teach him to share toys and food with children. When these children play games that require some courage, your children will play with them, which will enhance their self-confidence and exercise their courage. Over time, their courage will be the same as that of other children.
The above is my answer to the question, I hope you can be satisfied, thank you!
Accept that he is timid, maybe he is just a little shy.
Children are timid, usually because their parents are timid, and they usually take their children out to meet people. I don't know if your home is rural or urban. No matter where you are, the more people children meet, the more courage they will have. My son is timid at the age of 3, and strangers cry when they look at him. I will exercise my children. Whether I know him or not, as long as people look at me, they will start chatting with people. Ha ha ha, many people say.
The child is well now and won't cry easily. I told my son not to cry. If he has something to say, you keep crying, and I don't know what you want. Come on, I'll check 1.2.3, and you won't cry if you find 3. The number 1.2.3 is the reaction time for the child. It is impossible to say no to cry, and the child will stop crying immediately.
I didn't understand a truth until people reached middle age. To cultivate children, we must first cultivate parents.
The child is a little timid, and there are two possibilities. One is really small and the other is not.
The example you mentioned doesn't completely mean that the child is timid. Because children don't want to play with strange behaviors, this is a kind of self-protection. After getting familiar with it, he dared to play. Therefore, the way to improve is to expose children to some beneficial sports, and parents should personally demonstrate and encourage their children to take the first step.
If you have been timid, you have decided that your child is timid. Nine times out of ten, this is also caused by people with children. It may be parents, grandparents who have been together for a long time, nannies or people who meet frequently.
Some people care about children, but in the wrong way.
Not to mention that a four-year-old child, even a one-year-old child, can already understand many words of adults.
For example.
Recently, I have been socializing more, coming home late and spending less time with my children. I went home to take care of the children yesterday and found that she used to be curious about everything and wanted to touch her, but now she is timid. I immediately realized that the child should have been scolded many times by others and told him not to touch this and that. I held the toddler in my arms, and it made me sad to see her curious and afraid to touch, muttering and crying. I can imagine her inner fear and anxiety at that moment when she was scolded by an adult who "cared" about her because she was curious to explore.
I asked her to touch something, a bunch of colorful straws, and she let go when she touched it, and let go when she touched it. This is fear. She is not afraid of the straw itself, but of being scolded and beaten when she grabs the straw.
Everything has a cause and effect. Many children's problems, unless they are born, must come from people around them.
What surprised me most was that I was very upset when I saw that she had been afraid to take it and always wanted to take it. I took one out for her and handed it to her. She took it timidly, and when I was sure it was really me, she clung to this habit, giggled and rested her head on my shoulder with satisfaction. To tell the truth, I wouldn't have noticed this detail if I hadn't experienced it personally, if I hadn't been engaged in the education industry and had the habit of carefully observing the growth of children. At that moment, I really felt the simplicity of the child, the trust of the child and the happiness of the child.
Then I asked my wife. It turns out that my sister has grown very fast recently, and she is getting the same every day. She can already limp, so she likes to rummage around. When her grandmother found out, she "scared" her sister loudly. Don't touch it here, don't touch it there, she wants to hit someone when she touches it. ...
Although children can't speak yet, they can feel the change of adults' tone.
So, through my example, I don't know how the subject feels.
As parents, we should be guardians of children's growth, care for their curiosity as much as possible, encourage them to try bravely, and never agree with them easily. I think it is unscientific to think that a child is timid just because of some performance of the child.
Children's plasticity is very strong, and many performances are just a process of growth. Don't expect children to meet the standards of adults from the beginning. This is not a good thing.
Children should be like children. It is normal for children to be ignorant, unable and timid in the process of learning.
Therefore, my advice to you is: you don't need to change it deliberately, just spend more time with me.
As long as we accompany, guide, encourage and care more, the child will grow up according to his script and become the person he likes.
The boy is timid, and his mother must be a little worried when she sees him. After all, he is a boy and timid. How can he be an indomitable man when he grows up!
But this kind of thing can't be anxious, nor can it be fierce to children, let alone compared with other children. This will make the child more timid and completely disintegrate his beliefs. Therefore, when you meet a timid child, you must not worry, let alone him, and slowly find ways to guide and encourage him. Because each child's cognition and sensitivity to the same thing are different, and there is no saying that the bold is more capable than the timid, but some children are more cautious. So I suggest that my mother can buy some parenting books to understand the baby from the psychological level and help him overcome difficulties.
Don't expect too much at first. You can start with small things, let him build up self-confidence and become brave, and then get in touch with things he resists.
Your child is only four years old. He is timid. It must be because his parents often scold him loudly. You should show more concern for your child and don't try to scold him with your parents. You can play games with him and take her out to play with other children, so that he can get exercise.