As the saying goes: Birds of a feather flock together and people divide into groups; people in different circles do not need to be inflexible.
Suppose an office worker, who lives on a monthly salary of several thousand yuan, can afford to play with a group of big bosses and fraternities all day long? Even if you have been in a relationship for many years, others will not discriminate. Imagine: every time you have a party, someone else has a car and a driver, but you have to squeeze in the bus. When you are bored, just play "little mahjong" to pass the time. Just hit 100. Others think it is too small and boring, but you are nervous and sweating profusely. A meal costs 10,000 to 20,000 yuan, and people won’t even blink, but it’s half your salary for a year. When you smoke a pack of cigarettes, people throw away their 95 and Zhonghua cigarettes casually, but if you crush the Huangguoshu in your bag, you are too embarrassed to take it out and give one to others. People are sitting together, talking about business contracts worth tens of billions, but you can only keep burying your head in drinking tea, unable to get in the conversation, and can only keep asking the waiter to add water [cover face] [cover face] [cover face ]… I’m just asking you, are you embarrassed? People think about how much I can earn from this project every day, and how much benefit that person can bring to me, but what you think about is, don’t be late for work tomorrow, save 10 yuan, and bring a packed lunch at noon, and you can save 20 yuan. How else can this **** be played? Even if one day someone wants to help you and give you a profitable project, saying that you only need to invest one or two million, you can only bite the bullet and reply to others: you are not interested in this project. It's good to be in a small class [tears][tears][tears] This is called "chewing gum" and I can't even pull it off [laughter][laughter][laughter] Let alone cling to the connections in these circles. The distance between you is like that between humans and animals, there will never be an intersection. It's best to live in your own circle, that's your world.
I used to have many circles of friends, but later I gradually withdrew from them. Let’s start with when I was the youngest. At that time, all the friends I played with were from relatively good family backgrounds. In the 1990s, it was not worth the money to buy a meal. But when we don’t have money, we always take what others have to offer, and we feel uncomfortable. Later, I have no choice but to sell the fur collar of a newly bought leather jacket and coat for 80 yuan, and finally I reluctantly return the invitation. From that time on I never ate with these good friends again. Because I feel that our abilities are not equal at all. People always treat you and you take advantage of them for free. I really feel bad about it.
Also, when I was middle-aged, everyone liked to play mahjong and poker, so sometimes my friends would get together and play together every day. Sometimes I would go with him, but after playing a few cards I would lose in fear. Later I also withdrew from this circle of friends.
No matter what, the pursuit of life is different, and the views on the values ????of life are different. So sometimes it is really not suitable to hang out together. You will never have a sense of belonging in a circle that does not belong to you, and you will always have a feeling of being uncomfortable and reluctant, so it is better not to get involved in a circle of friends that you don't like or are unfamiliar to.
We can see those people around us who hang out in social circles all day long. They take out their mobile phones and there are a lot of photos of celebrities on them, as if they have successfully entered high-end social circles.
But in fact, few people have spoken to him, and there has been no in-depth communication or further links. The only way to survive is to meet him, to be polite, to give him face, and to say hello.
These are actually useless connections. It will not help improve your life, nor will it improve your ideological and cognitive realm.
We must first know: the essence of connections is social value exchange.
When the social value of two people is too different, and the other person takes the initiative to say hello to you when they see you, that is their cultivation, not your face, and it does not mean that you have integrated into that circle.
So what should we do? The first thing you should do is: in your own circle, do your job well in a down-to-earth manner, achieve results, and take care of the people around you. This is the social pass that you can use wherever you go.
Here, we especially need to remind those newcomers to the workplace that the most important thing you should do is to work hard to do your job well and improve your professional ability, eloquence ability, presentation ability and English ability. , learn more from your bosses and colleagues around you, and proactively win over your bosses and people around you, instead of being too ambitious and keen on attending various dinner parties and making various connections.
Remember that only when you are stronger, your connections will be more valuable and your circle will be of higher quality.
This topic can be borrowed from the words of Mr. Wang of Wanda Group. Can the customers we meet in first class on an airplane be the same? The benefits are definitely different from those of economy class.
Alibaba President Ma said that first class and economy class are the same to reach the destination. The time is the same.
For many relationships, it’s not that the old one is good, nor that the new one is good, but that after experiencing something together, you really feel that the other person is good. This is the reason why you should take it seriously and dig deep in your heart. The so-called maturity of a relationship means: you have to get used to anyone being hot and cold, and you have to be indifferent to anyone drifting away. Don't be confused in your heart, don't be trapped in emotions. Don't be afraid of the future, don't dwell on the past. Live your life indifferently, don't be dramatic, just seek peace of mind
Instead of laughing against your will, it's better to be quiet alone. Instead of caring about others' betrayal and unkindness, it's better to manage your own dignity and beauty. I don’t believe those nonsense about never forcing anything in your life. I only know that if you don’t fight for you, you will have nothing.
Once some people miss you, they will never take the initiative to contact you again and don’t want to disturb you. Life doesn't even include occasional greetings. This is how growth is, constant farewells and constant encounters
Others give to you because they like it; you give to others because you are willing. Love comes out of one's own free will, no regrets. Every time I want to find someone to accompany me, I think of friends in my circle, and there are friends in my circle.
Society is constantly progressing and developing. We need to continue to learn, master more knowledge, and learn more experiences. Different circles will bring you different information and benefits.
Circles determine your taste. Now the circles are all connected. You can know B through A and then C.
It depends on how you use it.
Hello everyone, I am Nannan Life Diary. I am very happy that I can answer this question. The following is my opinion on this issue.
In life, we often mention the word "circle". This can be said to be a very important topic in life, because often what kind of circle you stay in, you may become What kind of person.
Why do you say this? Because the people you meet, the things you encounter, and the things you learn in each circle are all different, so they also affect you to a great extent. The direction of life.
To put it simply, if you are in an excellent circle, no matter how bad you are, no matter how bad you are, no matter how bad you are; similarly, if you are in a superficial and inferior circle, no matter how good you are, no matter how good you are, Not much better.
And the circle is not exclusive to a certain age group, it can run through all age groups. Just like a child, what classmates and friends he comes in contact with and what kind of circle he stays in will greatly affect his outlook on life and values. It will also greatly affect his ability to learn and his academic qualifications. degree.
Don’t believe it, those with high education are basically surrounded by children who love to learn since childhood, while most of those who grew up with naughty children have low academic qualifications.
The same goes for the elderly. Don’t think that they are out of touch with society when they reach this age. There are also circles among the elderly. In the circles of the elderly with upright views, they discuss the major principles of life and do things. They are all things that are beneficial to life; but in inferior circles, the talk is about family affairs, or even the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, or the relationship between husband and wife.
If the elderly are affected by the latter for a long time, it will also have a great impact on their own family, and even affect the family harmony of their children.
Needless to say, for adults, the circle is an important factor that determines their life direction. If you enter the business circle, you will study business, if you enter the academic circle, you will study academics, and if you enter the "decadent circle", your whole life will be. It might become useless.
Different people have different circles. Most of them are fixed at first because it is related to the environment in which you grew up. But it is not a fixed state for your whole life. As you grow and choose, it can have many opportunities to change. But what kind of circle you want to enter is a question worthy of careful consideration for you.
Because not all circles are suitable for you. If it is not suitable for your circle, then don’t force your way into it, no matter how good it is.
Don’t force yourself into circles with different ambitions
Choosing a circle is as important as choosing the direction of life, so don’t force yourself into circles with different aspirations from yours. If a person wants to make a great career in the rest of his life, in addition to his own efforts, he must also have some like-minded friends, so that he can achieve twice the result with half the effort.
And if you are surrounded by people who are completely opposite to your ideas, then your life path is destined to be very difficult. In this case, don't try to make contact again. No matter how excellent the circle is and how successful the people in it are, there is no need, because the one that suits you is the best.
Don’t squeeze into circles with class concepts
In reality, there are many circles that are excellent and have a lot of resources, but these circles tend to pay more attention to class concepts. To put it bluntly, , that is, they don’t like people with unequal status to join them. Even if they once only climbed up step by step from the bottom, when they succeed, they look down on the people at the bottom.
Even if you squeeze into this kind of circle, there will be no good results. You will definitely be disliked and excluded by others. Can you feel comfortable in this situation? If that's the case, why bring it upon yourself? I believe there are always some circles that are both excellent and can accept you. There is no need to hang yourself on a tree.
Don’t squeeze into the circle of unscrupulous people
Although to survive in such a highly competitive society and to succeed, you must use some means, but it is not unscrupulous. There are many circles, which are indeed excellent, and the people in them are all outstanding people who can stand alone. However, if behind the success of these people, there are countless stepping stones and willful behavior to achieve their goals, then it is best to stay as far away as possible. How far away.
Most of this kind of circle only talks about interests. On the surface, the people in it seem to be kind-hearted and everyone calls them brothers, but in fact, each one is a simple role, with equal strength and ability to provide benefits. When you bring benefits to each other, the relationship may be good, but when you cannot bring benefits to them, what you get in exchange is elimination.
It is very important to face yourself, all people and circles.
If you want to choose a circle that suits you, you must first be self-aware and know what kind of circle you can control and what kind of circle you cannot control, and then consider whether it is suitable for you. development prospects. Circles are like shoes, no matter how expensive or good they are, they are of no use. They are most useful when they are with your feet.
This is an inevitable choice in your life. Because humans are social animals, you cannot develop on your own throughout your life, so it is necessary to enter a circle, but the more so, the more cautious you should be, because it is related to your future. Don't push yourself into a circle that doesn't suit you, otherwise you will suffer and be disliked.
The above are my views on this issue, for reference only.
Hello everyone, I am Teacher Hongyan. I think if you don’t belong to your circle, don’t push yourself! I remember once, I gave a corporate marketing class. After the get out of class, several students thanked me very much for my planning plan and wanted to study with me how to operate the company next. They were all bosses of the local car club with tens of millions and hundreds of millions. Most people have high social status. They insist on inviting us to drink tea together and let me join their circle.
The topics they talked about at that time made me feel doubly embarrassed. First, the discussion was not about corporate development and marketing planning at all, but about beautiful women and luxury cars. I had no way to interrupt!
The second reason is that the dark side of that circle revealed during their conversation and laughter made me regret attending this party. I felt that my values ??were very different from theirs. Later, I refused any invitations from this circle because, in my opinion, although they were all dignitaries, they were not the circle I liked.
In this life, we will meet people with very different personalities and experience complicated things. We will also either actively walk in or passively be drawn into other people's circles and watch other people's lives. , taste their joys, sorrows and joys.
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However, many times, we will find that in some circles, although you are in it, you are just a spectator at best, and you cannot really integrate into it even if you try your best. The so-called circle means that we are evenly matched. Don't squeeze into the circle that is not ours. If you have time, polish yourself and make yourself better. Build a good circle with yourself as the center.
Everyone is an excellent individual. There is no need to lower one's posture for the sake of others' circles, do not embarrass yourself, and do not force others.
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So, whether it is life or work, some people come together because of the same hobbies, and some people work together because of similar interests. But no matter what kind of circle it is, it has its own rules of survival. If you don't understand the rules well, don't force your way into it.
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I am Teacher Hongyan, and I am very happy to answer this question.
Agree with this view
It is said that birds of a feather flock together. We can just learn from the experiences summarized by our predecessors, but some people just want to challenge themselves. There are always a few people who follow the trend and blindly follow the trend. Looking at the circle that makes them jealous, they sharpen their heads and yearn to get in. This will only make themselves look very different, and what is suitable for others may not be suitable for themselves.
Colleague A’s family is very rich and she runs a micro-business to sell some luxury goods. Most of the people she knows have similar conditions, so the business is doing very well. Another colleague B, who has average income, is jealous. He said that colleague A’s marketing methods were not as good as mine, so he would definitely do better than her. As a result, there were no orders at all. I heard several colleagues talking about colleague B, saying that in her situation, she could still recognize luxury goods, so they must be fakes. That's it. Colleague A's stuff may be fake and everyone thinks it's real, but Colleague B's stuff, even if it's real, everyone will think it's fake. Everyone is in a different circle, so the impression they give to others will naturally be different.
It is better to shine in your own circle than to be dim in the inappropriate circle.
1. For many relationships, it’s not that the old ones are good or the new ones are good, but that after experiencing something together, you really feel that the other person is good. This is worthy of your serious treatment and investment. Heartfelt relationship.
2. The so-called maturity means: you have to get used to anyone being hot and cold; you have to be indifferent to anyone drifting away. Don't be confused in your heart, don't be trapped in emotions. Don't be afraid of the future, don't dwell on the past. Live your life calmly, don't make a fuss, just seek peace of mind.
3. Instead of making excuses against your will, it is better to be quiet alone. Instead of caring about others' betrayal and unkindness, it is better to manage your own dignity and beauty. I don't believe in those nonsense about never forcing anything in your life. I only know that if you don't fight for it, you will have nothing.
4. Once you miss some people, they will no longer take the initiative to contact you for the rest of your life. They don’t want to disturb your life, and they don’t even have occasional greetings. This is how growth is, constant farewells and constant encounters.
5. Others give to you because they like it; you give to others because you are willing. Love comes out of one's own free will, no regrets. Every time I want to find someone to accompany me, I find that some people cannot be found, some people should not be found, and some people cannot be found.
6. Do your best and listen to destiny. Be clear in your heart and not confused by your emotions. Go with the flow and take things as they come. If you know you are wrong, correct it; if you have lost your way, you will know how to return. Be attentive to people who like you and forgetful to people who don't like you. Such a life is very good.
7. No matter how deeply you have been hurt, there will always be someone who can make you forgive all the difficulties that life has dealt with you. Don't care about things that don't belong to you. The harder you hold on, the easier it is to lose. Don't squeeze into the circle that doesn't belong to you. There's no point in breaking your head.
8. There is no road in the world without twists and turns, and there is no flower in the world that never withers. In this world, everything, whether bitter or sweet, is a kind of fate. What God gives us, we should accept it happily and look down on gains and losses. Life is still beautiful.
9. No matter how you live, there will always be people making irresponsible remarks about you behind your back. Not defending, not caring, and just laughing it off is actually the best form of contempt.
10. Life is always like this, and people cannot be satisfied everywhere. But we still have to live passionately. There are many things worth loving in a person's life. Don't be discouraged just because you are not satisfied with one thing.
1. For many relationships, it’s not that the old ones are good or the new ones are good, but that after experiencing something together, you really feel that the other person is good. This is worthy of your serious treatment and investment. Heartfelt relationship.
2. The so-called maturity means: you have to get used to anyone being hot and cold; you have to be indifferent to anyone drifting away. Don't be confused in your heart, don't be trapped in emotions. Don't be afraid of the future, don't dwell on the past. Live your life calmly, don't make a fuss, just seek peace of mind.
3. Instead of making excuses against your will, it is better to be quiet alone. Instead of caring about others' betrayal and unkindness, it is better to manage your own dignity and beauty. I don't believe in those nonsense about never forcing anything in your life. I only know that if you don't fight for it, you will have nothing.
4. Once you miss some people, they will no longer take the initiative to contact you for the rest of your life. They don’t want to disturb your life, and they don’t even have occasional greetings. This is how growth is, constant farewells and constant encounters.
5. Others give to you because they like it; you give to others because you are willing. Love comes out of your own free will, and you have no regrets. Every time I want to find someone to accompany me, I find that some people cannot be found, some people should not be found, and some people cannot be found.
6. Do your best and listen to destiny. Have no regrets in your heart and no confusion in your emotions. Go with the flow and take things as they come. If you know you are wrong, correct it; if you have lost your way, you will know how to return. Be attentive to people who like you and forgetful to people who don't like you. Such a life is very good.
7. No matter how deeply you have been hurt, there will always be someone who can make you forgive all the difficulties that life has dealt with you. Don't care about things that don't belong to you. The harder you hold on, the easier it is to lose. Don't squeeze into the circle that doesn't belong to you. There's no point in breaking your head.
8. There is no road in the world without twists and turns, and there is no flower in the world that never withers. In this world, everything, whether bitter or sweet, is a kind of fate. What God gives us, we should accept it happily and look down on gains and losses. Life is still beautiful.
9. No matter how you live, there will always be people making irresponsible remarks about you behind your back. Not defending, not caring, and just laughing it off is actually the best form of contempt.
10. Life is always like this, and people cannot be satisfied everywhere. But we still have to live passionately. There are many things worth loving in a person's life. Don't be discouraged just because you are not satisfied with one thing.
There is a couplet that makes a wonderful statement.
The first couplet is: fish looks for fish, shrimp looks for shrimp, turtle looks for tortoise. The second line is: The dragon looks for the dragon, the phoenix looks for the phoenix, the hero looks for the hero.
The same applies to us humans: what kind of person will we look for? As the saying goes: Birds of a feather flock together, and people flock together.
You and I are not in the same group. Even if you sharpen your head and try your best, it will be difficult for you to squeeze in and integrate into my group.
The question above said that if you don’t belong to your circle, don’t force yourself to squeeze in. It’s useless even if you have a bloody head. I strongly agree with this point of view!
Here we must first understand a concept, what is a "circle". It refers to groups of people who have the same interests, hobbies, or are grouped together for a specific purpose.
Once like-minded men and women hold hands and enter the palace of marriage, on the surface, they become a family, but in fact, they also form a circle.
This circle, whether married or unmarried, is very understanding. In this circle, no outsider can dare to make any move, let alone dare to cross the line! Even if the city is besieged with swords and swords flashing and the sound of killings shaking the sky, outsiders are only tempted but dare not take action.
Of course, there are also those who are bold enough to brave the world's disapproval and sneak in on a dark and windy night. They think they have succeeded, but in the end, they end up with a bloody head. Flow is light, and losing one's body and death is common!
There is another kind of circle, which is the "circle of friends" that we are familiar with. In fact, it is a big concept and very general. If this circle is further subdivided, it should be numerous and numerous. For example, if you like antiques, you can make friends together and form a circle. Those who like football, those who like cross-country, etc., will all get close to each other because of the same interests. When they talk together, they happily form a circle.
Which of these circles we can join means that we can have the same hobbies and interests as everyone in that circle, or have the same knowledge, or have similar skills, or have the same purpose. Otherwise, if you want to enter, others will not accept it!
It's like you are a dragon. Ordinarily, dragons should look for dragons, but when you see the phoenix, you insist on squeezing into this circle that does not belong to you. Every other line is like a mountain.
You say, okay?
Take a step back, even if you have the ability to squeeze in, but you, the dragon, don’t understand the rules and ways of the phoenix, so what’s the point of blending in? You must not be ostracized or disliked by others. Sooner or later you will become dejected and escape from this circle like a lost dog!
Nowadays, many social celebrities also have their own circles. If you are just a mediocre person, can you squeeze in?
There are also many university alumni groups, such as Peking University Alumni Group and Tsinghua University Alumni Group. If you were from another university, such as Wuhan University, you would be able to integrate in, because you don’t have any “tickets” to these circles. If this isn’t just nonsense, then what is it?
These circles are like independent yurts built according to the mountains. Each yurt is built with copper walls and iron walls, which are as strong as gold. Mongolian yurts are dotted all over the place, high and low, up and down, large and small, of all kinds.
Whether it is at a low level, on the front line, or at a high level, it is difficult for you to squeeze in, because it does not belong to your circle. You can only stay in the circle that suits you. !
It is not difficult to see that if you are not in your circle, you must not force yourself to squeeze in, even if you are in trouble, it will be useless, because you are incompatible with the hobbies, interests, specialties, etc. of those in the circle.
Remember: you are not a stranger, you do not enter the same house. If you try to force your way in, you will be hit in the head.
The picture was borrowed from the Internet. We sincerely apologize to the original author!