However, few parents can reflect on whether they are a good mother and father in the eyes of their children. Don't they like that we are not other people's parents? Do they envy other people's parents for being gentle, knowledgeable, rich and powerful?
When we look at our children in a comparative way, they will certainly learn this way and will deal with us in this way sooner or later.
A student took part in the school recitation contest and won the third place, with good results.
As a result, she went back and told her mother sourly how I could compare with others. The classmate who won the first place, her mother is the host of the TV station, and the second classmate, her mother is a reporter of the newspaper. You can't help me.
she was shocked. Sadly, I once told my children who is smart and who is hardworking. I don't think there is anything wrong with this. As a result, when I compared with other parents, on the one hand, I was very angry, and at the same time, I felt that I was incompetent and could not satisfy her.
these feelings must be in the child's heart.
children don't want to be compared. Because being compared means that I don't satisfy my parents, and my parents want to cover me up and erase my existence with the appearance of other children.
how can children prove that they live for themselves? He doesn't agree with this part, and he won't be someone else's child. He needs laziness and clumsiness to maintain his existence.
don't you feel ashamed and brave after being compared? Not exactly. This makes people feel angry and ashamed and makes them feel incompetent. A child has felt this way for a long time. Can he learn well?
Many parents have suffered a lot in education, but I have also met many talented parents. Their educational methods not only make my eyes shine, but also make me firmly believe that parents' self-consciousness and introspection in education will bring immeasurable benefits to their children.
I know a parent who taught his children to experience, discover and understand life since childhood.
He once took his teenage son out at two o'clock in the morning and drove through the streets of Hefei. His son said with emotion that when we were sleeping, many people were still busy.
When my son was in high school, he gave him a tricycle to live on for a day. As a result, in summer, the young man was in the fruit wholesale market, picking up garbage, helping people deliver fruits and basking in the sun. The money he earns in a day is only enough for him to eat two meals simply. He realized that it was not easy to make money.
Later, my son fell in love with small inventions and won a national prize, so he took the children, applied for a patent, found a cooperative manufacturer for quantitative production, and set up a team to operate in a treasure. In the whole process, children are not bystanders, but participants and decision makers.
The child's mother once said with an expression of suspicion (arrogance) and abandonment (pride) that one day when she came home, her father and her father were lifting the desktop at home. Because they made a new invention at home, the chainsaw accidentally sawed the desktop and cracked it, so they carried it out and threw it away.
Later, the child was recognized for his invention and was invited to participate in activities in a certain country with more than 4 other high school students from all over the country. Because of his outstanding performance, he became a goodwill ambassador of the two countries, and was directly admitted to a famous university in that country without examination, and all tuition and living expenses were sponsored.
I always think that other people's children are incredible, but so are other people's parents?
This child's classmates openly envy him for having such a wise father, who is also a teacher and friend.
When we think that the child has such a good performance at such a young age, have we seen the efforts made by the father in the growth of the child?
some people say that I don't even work for my children. I serve him 24 hours a day. Did I pay less?
However, companionship is not only to prove that we are willing to spend time, but also to see and meet the needs of children's growth. We care about our own efforts, and we care about the needs of our children. These are two different things.
Just like this father, when he is with his children, he introduces the world to them through exploration based on their experiences and growth.
When our children are full of anxiety and fear, and feel that there is no future after taking the exam, and that the world is in danger, other children think that the world is fun and there are so many things to do.
if you don't know what is good for your child's growth, make yourself beautiful first. Love life, love work and care about children's joys and sorrows. This is the best education.
Every day, turning your child's grades into your own electrocardiogram will only increase your troubles and your children's troubles.
It's always said that the pressure is great, as if children can't decompress without oppression.
after all, the world is changing with each passing day, and it seems easy to be thrown into the torrent of time. Parents are always anxious and don't know what the future will bring, unpredictable and unpredictable, so they want to give their children what they can't cope with. But can the child bear it?
The father once said that he didn't think good grades were the most important thing. Children have many abilities to cultivate, such as his curiosity, his enthusiasm for life, his courage to face setbacks, and his interpersonal skills.
He said that he had a classmate who was an excellent student and graduated from a prestigious school. After graduation, his work performance has been mediocre.
He said that when he studied well, he seemed to get everything, the teacher's esteem, the friendship of boys, the love of girls and the favor of famous schools.
a book of Wanli.
then he will think that achievement is everything. If children go to society and think that they deserve love and promotion as a schoolmaster, this is actually a very big illusion. As if holding a hammer, I feel that all the problems in this world should be nails.
children run two sets of survival rules in school and society. In school, as long as you get good grades, everything else can be ignored and covered up.
However, the society requires a person's ability in many ways. Many parents are not aware of this and are not prepared. So many children are completely blind as soon as they enter the society.
I read an article the other day about the life of a talented Haidian mother and a rich Shunyi mother. After reading it, I think this old mother is too fierce.
Besides, I always vaguely worry that my parents are too strong and active, as if they were going to swallow up their children.
It seems that the mother has taken away the children's enthusiasm and responsibility for growth, so the mother has two kinds of passion and responsibility. And children are enthusiasm, responsibility.
what's so strange about children becoming unmotivated and having no learning goals? All these things are at mom's.
why are we anxious? Why do we like competition? Because we want to grow up for our children. In fact, we did the same thing, thinking that we could get a child we longed for and a satisfactory "other people's child".
the instinct of human beings is to live according to their own needs. When children can't be themselves, they either fight with their parents or fight with themselves. For him, it's all consumption.
Perhaps it is these moments when we are getting farther and farther away from our children's hearts that children are eager to see themselves, feel themselves and be satisfied with their parents, just like others' parents.