Selfishness is a common psychological phenomenon. "Self" refers to self; "Private" means self-interest; "Selfishness" means only paying attention to one's own interests, regardless of the interests of others, collectives, countries and society. There are often sayings such as selfishness, harming others' interests, harming the public and enriching the private interests. Selfishness is different to some extent. A little, that is, caring about personal gains and losses, selfish distractions, and no morality. Serious performance is to achieve personal goals, embezzle public funds, frame others, kill people, and take risks. Selfishness is the root of all evils, and morbid social psychology such as greed, jealousy, revenge, meanness and vanity are basically selfish manifestations. Selfishness has existed since ancient times. During the Warring States Period, Zou Ji, a handsome man from the State of Qi, visited another handsome man, Xu Gong. After Xu Gong left, Zou Ji asked his wife, concubines and guests which was more handsome, and they all said Zou Ji looked good. Zou Ji is a self-aware person. He thinks his wife is partial to him, concubines are afraid of him, and the guests want something from him. They don't tell the truth, they all have selfish distractions. Therefore, Zhou Guanshu put forward the idea of "destroying private interests with public interests", and Dr. Sun Yat-sen also put forward the idea of "the world is public interests".
Characteristics of selfishness
1, deep-rooted selfishness is an almost instinctive desire, deep in one's heart. People have many needs, such as physical needs, material needs, spiritual needs, social needs and so on. Demand is the original motive force of human behavior, and many human behaviors are just to meet the demand. However, the demand is restricted by social norms, ethics, laws and decrees, regardless of the requirements of social and historical conditions, and people who blindly want to satisfy their own selfish desires are selfish people. Selfishness is hidden in the structure of personal needs, which is a deep psychological activity.
2. Subconsciously, because selfish psychology is deeply hidden, its existence and performance are often unconscious. A selfish person doesn't realize that he is doing a selfish thing. On the contrary, he often feels at ease when encroaching on the interests of others. Because of this, we call selfishness a morbid social psychology.
3. There is another kind of person who has developed a habit because selfish behavior has caused public outrage. In order to avoid public condemnation and social punishment, he often sings high-profile, pretends, or secretly takes advantage of others, hiding his selfish nature in lies and fantasies. For example, it is obvious that eating more and taking more, but it is said that it is a work need; Obviously, it is selfish at the expense of others, but it is said to be considerate of others. Selfishness is a morbid behavior that is ashamed to meet people. Selfish people often hide themselves by various means, so selfishness is secret.
4, selfish people are jealous, they only have themselves in their hearts, and they can't tolerate others at all. Jealousy sometimes drives selfish people crazy and even commits illegal acts that hurt others.
The root of selfish psychology
Objectively speaking, there are many unbalanced and unreasonable places in the quantity, types and ways of various resources on the earth in terms of possession and distribution. Subjectively speaking, if personal needs are divorced from the unreasonable requirements of social norms, people may tend to be selfish.
Correction of selfish psychology
Selfishness is often a subconscious psychological tendency. To overcome selfishness, we should always keep in mind self-observation's own mentality and behavior. There should be certain objective standards when observing, such as social morality, social norms, role models, etc. We should strengthen our study, renew our ideas, strengthen our social value orientation, find the gap between role models and norms, find problems from the adverse consequences of our selfish behavior, and sum up ways and means to correct mistakes.
[Edit this paragraph] Analysis of the causes of selfish psychology
The reasons for selfish behavior can be analyzed from both objective and subjective aspects. Objectively speaking, China is a country with a large population and very limited natural and social resources (natural resources include cultivated land, mountains, fresh water, products and consumer goods, etc.). ; Social resources include wealth, power, information and social relations. Any individual or group in society needs certain resources. However, due to various complicated reasons, there are many imbalances and irrationalities in the quantity, types and methods of various resources in China, and the monopoly of power, industry and department of resources is still serious. Therefore, the party lacking resources has to exchange in an unfair way. As a result, on the one hand, abuse power for personal gain, on the other hand, engage in power and money transactions and exchange with each other. In addition, the accumulation of morbid culture and lax social control are also objective reasons. Subjectively, if individual needs are divorced from the unreasonable needs of social norms, people may tend to be selfish. According to the research of relevant experts, there is a certain internal relationship between individual self-sensitivity, value orientation and social behavior. The so-called social behavior refers to all individual behaviors beneficial to society, including helping others; Self-sensitivity refers to a person's psychological feelings after he cares about his own problems, feels that he needs help from others, and indeed gets help from others; Value orientation refers to the relatively stable standards and attitudes for evaluating things gradually formed in the process of socialization. A high degree of self-sensitivity can be externalized as sensitivity to others, that is, "everyone is for me and I am for everyone", but it may also become a tendency to only care about oneself. Selfish people are often self-sensitive, self-centered, extremely dependent and demanding on society and others, but have no social value orientation and lack a sense of responsibility for others and society.
The manifestation and harm of selfishness
As a morbid social psychology, selfishness has strong permeability. We believe that except for a few people with lofty ideals, most social citizens have selfish distractions to varying degrees. There are mainly the following performances:
1, no morality refers to the moral standards that citizens should follow in social life. However, some people turn a blind eye to this: spitting, littering and jaywalking; No sooner had you sat down to study here than he turned on the stereo. In some residential buildings, every household is clean, but the corridors and aisles are full of garbage. It is also disrespectful to take care of your own things and waste public property at will.
2. Selfish people are jealous. They only have themselves in their hearts and can't tolerate others at all. If anyone is better than him, gets good grades, or even surpasses him in appearance, figure and age, he will feel uncomfortable, so he will try his best to slander, frame and embarrass those who are better than him. Jealousy can sometimes make people go crazy, and even lead to illegal acts such as hurting others and disfiguring their faces. Emotional selfishness often exists in love, marriage and family. In order to satisfy their own selfish desires, some people play love games in love and marriage, play with the opposite sex, and deceive young men and women with sweet words; Some people intervene in other people's families for their own interests and do not hesitate to act as a third party; Some people leave their wives and children to find new lovers after they are promoted or become rich; Some people ask for divorce when their spouse is seriously ill and in a difficult situation; Some people hide personal privacy or their own defects, cheat to get love, leading to the tragic situation of marriage and so on.
4. Technology monopoly and copying from some craftsmen in the past. The master learned professional knowledge and was full of unique skills, but he never refused to give the technology to others easily, fearing that he would "give his apprentice and starve the master"; Some people "don't carry on the family line" and "don't get married"; Some people don't give their offspring for life and take technology to the grave. As a result, many excellent traditional folk crafts in China disappeared. Now there is another situation, some technicians plagiarize some patented technologies from their own enterprises to other enterprises in exchange for personal interests; Some counterfeit famous trademarks; Some people steal copyright for personal gain.
5. Seeking personal gain with money. In order to gain contacts, some people in society bribe powerful people with money and gifts, and use Kong Ge to open the door for their own personal gain. There used to be a popular saying: "the yamen is open in eight characters, and you can't get in without money." At present, some people still use money to buy fame and gain profits, and even use money to manipulate the general election of local people's congresses, which is extremely harmful to social atmosphere.
6. Abuse of power for personal gain is mainly manifested in some people who have the power of operation, management and administration. They abuse power for personal gain, so that the party style, political style and morals are unhealthy. A few people do whatever they want under the signboard of power and are unscrupulous. They use their power to bet, make deals and sell dirty and rancid things. For example, Wang Xiuying, the former director of the Production Dispatching Bureau of the State Planning Commission, took advantage of his position to ask a group company for a bribe of 65,438 yuan +0.5 million yuan; Some "public servants" used their powers to engage in public travel. 1992, the national public travel abroad reached 25 billion yuan; Dancing at public expense, 60%-70% of the business income of restaurants and dance halls all over the country comes from public funds to "pay the bill"; Public funds fishing, a township 1992 public funds fishing costs more than 40,000 yuan; Gambling with public funds, taking the opportunity to negotiate business, engaging in power trading and power trading; Renovating the house with high standards of public funds, the cost of a suite in a certain place is 70,000 yuan, and cadres can buy it as long as eight or nine thousand yuan; Installation of residential telephones with public funds, and private use of public funds; Eat and drink with public funds, and entertain private guests with public funds; Public funds are used for private office expenses, and poverty alleviation funds are used to pay for children's tuition fees, personal birthdays, weddings and funerals, etc. Arrears, occupies public funds, borrows public funds for shopping, building houses and doing business, and fails to pay back for a long time; Private bus ride, 1993, the national public car purchase cost14.5 billion yuan.
The above introduces several manifestations of selfish behavior. All selfish people have such morbid social psychology, that is, "every man is not for himself, and the devil takes the hindmost", "I would rather bear the burden of the world than the world", "Although my business is small, my own affairs are big", "I have the right not to use it, and it will be invalid when it expires", "Those who benefit others are stupid, those who benefit themselves are wise" and "I don't eat for nothing". Because the social restriction mechanism is not perfect, some selfish people do get some benefits from it, which makes selfishness prevail. However, selfishness leads to corruption, extreme individualism and social ugliness, and corrupts social atmosphere, which is the root of violating the law and discipline.
Selfish psychological adjustment
As a morbid social psychology, selfishness can be overcome by giving full play to one's subjective initiative.
Selfish psychological adjustment has the following methods:
1, introspection method This is a method advocated by structural psychology school, which refers to studying one's own psychological phenomenon through introspection, that is, using self-observation's declarative method. Selfishness is often a subconscious psychological tendency. In order to overcome selfishness, we should always reflect our mentality and behavior. There must be some objective standards when observing, that is, social morality and social norms. To reflect on one's own mistakes, we should strengthen our study, renew our concepts, strengthen our social value orientation, learn from self-serving and dedicated role models, and find the gap between them. And from the adverse consequences of their own selfish behavior to see the harm, find problems, and summarize the ways and means to correct mistakes.
2, do more altruistic behavior A person who wants to correct his selfish mentality may wish to do more altruistic behavior. For example, caring for and helping others, donating money for Project Hope and solving problems for others. Egoists can start from these small things, such as giving up their seats, lending things to others and doing more good deeds. They can correct the abnormal mentality in the past, get altruistic pleasure from others' approval and purify their souls.
3. Avoidance training This is a training method based on the principle of operational reflex and taking negative reinforcement as a means. Generally speaking, anyone who is determined to correct selfish mentality can hit himself with a rubber elastic ring tied to his wrist as long as he realizes selfish thoughts or behaviors, realizes that selfishness is not good from pain and urges himself to correct it.