She is one of the earliest intellectual women in China, but she has spent her whole life caring for her husband and raising her children; she has set a good example for her children by doing everything herself and is a model of a happy marriage. She used her wisdom and warmth to manage a perfect marriage and achieve her husband's brilliant career.
Intellectuals dedicated to marriage
Speaking of a happy marriage and growing old together, we can always think of Mr. Yang Jiang’s 63-year marriage to her husband Qian Zhongshu, but Yang Jiang But the husband said: "We sisters are all very good to our husbands, but none of us is as good as my mother is to my father." Many people have read Mr. Yang Jiang's work "The Three of Us" and envy their relationship as lovers and confidants, but Mr. Yang Jiang He also said that he is not as good as his mother Tang Shuyi, but Tang Shuyi has her own greatness.
Yang Jiang’s mother Tang Shuji was born in a wealthy family. She studied in a famous girls’ middle school in Shanghai when she was young. She was a classmate of Yang Jiang’s aunt Yang Yinyu and Zhang Taiyan’s wife Tang Guoli. She was one of the earliest intellectual women in China, but she did not rely on her knowledge and talent to be active in the world of the Republic of China. Instead, she married Yang Yinhang, who was the same age as herself, and she has been raising her husband and raising her children ever since.
Yang Jiang’s father is Yang Yinhang, and he is a very upright man. When he was attending Beiyang Public School, there was a student unrest and a leading student from Guangzhou was expelled. He originally did not participate in the activity, but he stood up angrily to free the classmate. Later, he took a public position in the government and unswervingly adhered to his work style. Therefore, he often offended his superiors without complaining. His character is strong.
As the saying goes, "I am for everyone, everyone is for me, the way of civility and martial arts." Mr. Yang Jiang also said that his father has a strong personality and his mother is gentle and virtuous. Perhaps this is the reason why they can stay together for a lifetime. , In marriage, one person always needs to tolerate and give in. Tang Shujian and Yang Yinhang were both from Wuxi and got married in 1898. After marriage, Tang Shu carefully started her life as a housewife, caring for her husband and raising children. From then on, history lost her trace, and we can only glimpse bits and pieces of her married life from the records of later generations.
A warm and harmonious family life
According to Mr. Yang Jiang’s recollection, although his father Yang Yinhang had a bad temper, he never lost his temper with his mother in their many years of marriage. This has to be attributed to Tang Shushi's tolerant and generous character. When we see the marriage life of Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang, we always see Yang Jiang’s kindness to Qian Zhongshu and his care for Qian Zhongshu, but we don’t know that Mr. Yang Jiang learned these from his mother. .
Mr. Yang Jiang recorded this incident: His father was seriously ill and had a high fever for several months. In the end, even the doctors were helpless and refused to go for treatment. The whole family was prepared for the worst. Only Tang Shu refused to give up.
Mr. Hua Shifu, a famous Chinese medicine doctor, reluctantly wrote a prescription, saying that it is "a dead horse treated as a living horse doctor". But with Tang Shu's unremitting efforts, Yang Guo gradually recovered. Even the doctors said it was a miracle. Mr. Yang Jiang also said: "It all depends on the mother's careful care."
Taking care of your husband is nothing It's a shame, after all, he is her closest relative, but what's even more rare is Tang Shuru's dedication to the entire family. Although there are helpers and servants at home, she still does all the sewing for the children and the family. The aunt was not married and had been living with them. She never complained and took care of them wholeheartedly.
Later, Yang Jiang's eldest brother fell ill, and the sister-in-law who lived at home wanted to move out because she was afraid of being infected. At that time, Tang Shuji was worried about the recurrence of his son's illness, but he still took the time to pack everything needed for his sister-in-law's move, which was very considerate and thoughtful.
Yang was already quite young at the time. Jiang remembered this incident clearly, and was still a little angry and confused. When she asked her mother why, her mother said: "The third aunt is a loner with a bad temper. We are her relatives and we have to stand up for her. We cannot let her live in a remote place." Being bullied. "This is Tang Shu's character, gentle and honest, considerate, smart and kind. At the same time, she is not a pure housewife. She has her own hobbies. She knows how to read, know how to help her husband, and be a "woman behind the scenes."
Not a nanny-style housewife
Tang Shuxin is not a nanny-style housewife. She has her own hobbies, and she has never been an old-fashioned family who devotes all her time to her family. Housewife. She is well-read and has her own opinions on literature and current affairs.
In her spare time, she likes to read some novels. She reads old novels and new novels, and expresses her own opinions from time to time.
When Yang Jiang later recalled her mother, she said that her mother’s comments on the famous figures at that time were very insightful and Yang Jiang benefited a lot. Yang Jiang always felt that if Tang Yun had not chosen to teach and educate people, she might have made a difference in the literary world. Unfortunately, Tang Shu was trapped in that era. She had a low-key and calm personality and was not greedy for vanity, so we don't know much about her talent, which is a pity.
At the same time, Tang Shu's talent is also reflected in her help in her husband's career. Yang Jiang later recalled that when his father had just resigned from the government and returned home to work as a lawyer, whenever he explained in detail to his mother the various cases he had handled, her mother would put forward her own opinions, and the two would discuss it together from time to time. . It has to be said that Tang Shu was indispensable for Yang Yinhang's subsequent achievements.
Obviously, Tang Shu is a very thoughtful person. She has unique analytical skills and allows her husband to keep telling her about the business. How rare this is in the old society that discriminates against women! We have seen too many tragic stories about the marriage of men and women during the Republic of China. The rapid political and ideological changes of that era often resulted in many tragedies of abandoning wives and children. Tang Shu carefully managed a happy marriage in that era, which was the result of her not giving up her own personality.
Tang Shu carefully maintained herself, made progress together with her husband, and always maintained smooth communication. Even Yang Jiang said in "Remembering My Father", "They talked a lot. ", "The conversation between two people in the long river of life seems to be La Bruyère's "Human Nature and the World". ". This shows the harmony of this couple.
Tender as water, considerate and tolerant without losing herself, just like the excellent character of traditional Chinese women, perhaps it is Tang Shu's careful management of perfect relationships and enviable love. The most important weight of marriage. Time flies, and we can't see Tang Shuji in person, but through Yang Jiang's words, we can appreciate the affection of this soft yet strong woman.