1, Patient:? Thank you, doctor. Thank you for teaching me how to improve my memory yesterday. ?
Doctor:? Really? That's true.
After a party, a group of animals rushed into the convenience store to buy things. Because it was too noisy, the clerk knocked it out, leaving only one animal alone. What is that? Sheep, because the convenience store is not closed.
3、? This street is so dirty that there is not even a clean place. Yes! Where is it? Trash can ?
4. In the evening, Pol.ice saw a drunk spinning around the big barrel on the side of the road and said: what happened to you
? Nothing! When I go home, my home is at the end of this wooden fence. ?
A beautiful girl MM is trying on a pair of knee-high boots.
Actually, it's pretty good-looking, but the beauty MM seems to be a little picky and asks questions.
Finally, she asked the clerk: Do you have a longer one?
The sharp clerk jumped out:? Any longer is leather pants. ?
6. One day, Xiao Ming was hungry, so he turned on the air conditioner because it had? Dehumidification? Function. . .
7. The robber robbed a short man on the road in the middle of the night. He was afraid of being recognized and had to cut off the short man's head. The short man said, I am already so short. If you cut off my head, I will be shorter. How to meet people in the future? . .
The robber thought so, so he let the dwarf go. . .
8. readers:? Why are the protagonists in your satirical novels all tigers, wolves and reptiles?
Screenwriter:? For fear of offending others. ?
9. In the examination of Buddhist history in China, a classmate handed in a blank sheet of paper and got full marks. Ask the teacher and answer: nothing.
The next year, this classmate's roommate took this course and handed in a blank sheet of paper.
But after I handed it in, I was very uneasy and afraid of problems, so I specially called the teacher and said, Teacher, I am nothing. ?
Then the teacher at the other end of the phone sighed and said, I gave you full marks, so it seems that you still can't see through it.
10, my good friend is a kindergarten teacher, very simple and likes fantasy. I always thought she was happy at work.
One day she complained to me: Do you know how painful it is to be a kindergarten teacher? Every day, I look at so many handsome guys who love their families and children, have cars and have money, but they are other people's husbands! ! ! ?
1 1. I just bought purple nail polish today and put it on my hands at night.
Daughter comes out of the room: Mom. What's the smell in the room? It's weird.
Then my husband poked his head out of the room and said sadly, this is a demon. ...
12, an old man and a young man were chatting. The old man said, Shall I tell you a story? .
The boy said? All right, all right! I like listening to stories. ? .
Then, the old man began to tell a story: one day, the prince said to the imp. I gave you a task, walking on the earth. Give me a list of all the people who have played tricks? .
A week later, the boy came back from the world, exhausted and collapsed in front of the king of hell: impossible, this is an impossible task. ?
Rebecca:? Don't you use your brain? .
One day later, the child came back from the earth. All smiles: well, this is a list of all the people in the world who don't play tricks? .
Rebecca:? Ok, now you send a letter to all the people here. ?
At this point, the old man fell silent.
The teenager is puzzled:? Go on, what does the letter say?
The old man said, it seems that you haven't received the letter either. ?
13, city people:? What do you want to buy?
Farmer:? I am buying cows. ?
City people:? Might as well buy a car. ?
Farmer:? Might as well be an ox. ?
City people:? People will laugh at you if you ride an ox! ?
Farmer:? It would be more interesting if you milked a car! ?
14, a man heard that feeding cod liver oil is good for the health of dogs, and he decided to give it a try. So he put his dog's head between his legs every day, broke its mouth hard and poured cod liver oil into it. Every time the dog struggles.
One day, when the man was feeding the dog, the dog finally broke away from its owner and spit out cod liver oil.
But what surprised the man even more was that the dog turned around and licked it greedily after spitting cod liver oil on the ground.
15. A plane broke down in the air. The captain asked the passengers and crew to fasten their seat belts and prepare for a forced landing.
A few minutes later, the captain asked the stewardess by radio if everyone was wearing a seat belt.
? It's all tied up, but there's another lawyer handing over his business card. ?
16, a person accidentally fell down while walking, and fell down just after getting up and walking a few steps, so he said to himself: If I had known I would fall down again, I wouldn't have got up just now. ?
17, staying at a small hotel, suddenly remembering to get up early the next day, I called the switchboard to ask if there was a bed call service. The female operator said angrily, "We don't provide this service. You can call your own bed if you like, but it can't affect the next room. "
18, a tourist came to a hotel and saw this notice written on the door: All languages in this hotel are applicable. ?
He talked with the manager in English, German and Russian, and the manager didn't say a word, which is understandable. For a long time, tourists still suffer from the pain of not being able to go through the housing formalities.
Finally he asked in the local language:? Who knows all kinds of languages here?
The manager immediately replied: passenger. ?
19, a soldier was carrying a bottle of wine back to camp when he happened to meet the company commander. He had to lie and say: I bought this bottle of wine with the colonel. Half belongs to the colonel. ?
The company commander thundered: Give me the other half! ?
The soldier said slowly, you can't fall. My half is down there. ?
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