Teach you how to survive and succeed in society! We are in an era of change, but can you adapt to this era and survive? The following things can definitely help you. Let's take a look at how to better

Teach you how to survive and succeed in society! We are in an era of change, but can you adapt to this era and survive? The following things can definitely help you. Let's take a look at how to better stand in this society! First, make friends. 1, the basic configuration of mixed society. A person's life is not lonely for a hundred years, and he must have friends. If you want to be a qualified ordinary person, as long as you abide by the law, you are willing to make friends and don't want him to leave. But if you want to make a name for yourself in society, you have to make friends selectively and utilitarianism. For the average person, there must be at least one doctor, a lawyer, a small official, a policeman, a teacher and a rogue in the circle of friends. Why do you say this? In fact, these friends are basically useless at ordinary times. Most people's circle of friends are colleagues, classmates and neighbors, because the friends we usually deal with, the friends who drink, sing and bathe together are also people in this circle. If there is no certain purpose, who will deliberately associate with a lawyer or a rogue? Doctors, lawyers, policemen and teachers, friends who seem to be seldom used at ordinary times, can save your urgency or difficulty at critical moments, and some can even save your life! When you go to the hospital to see a doctor, it's fortunate to have a doctor friend. It's a trivial matter to save people and kill them by mistake. It's really indispensable to contact a good doctor who knows his own skill and help you see a doctor. Everyone should know the role of a lawyer. He can help you when you are in trouble. Needless to say, the office is often mixed up in the society, how can you not wet your shoes, your car is impounded, and people are investigated? Basically, if you have friends in the office to help you, you won't suffer much. Teachers will undoubtedly play a great role in children's future families and friends. Some people say that it is useless to know these general doctors and teachers pol.ice, for example, if you look at internal medicine, friends in ENT can't help; You want to help your son with his English, and the Chinese teacher doesn't need it. These problems are destined to be mixed at the lower level of society. Don't these people have their own circle of friends? Can't his friends in Pentacam find friends in internal medicine? Isn't there anyone who works with the Chinese teacher in the school to teach English? When you associate with these friends, you actually meet people in his circle of friends. Isn't this a better opportunity for you to know more about the quasi-middle class? Officials, hooligans I think everyone on earth knows how good it is to have an official friend, even a grass-roots civil servant friend. On this basis, the bigger the official, the better, and correspondingly, the less chance of making friends. As for why we should make friends with hooligans and riffraff, many people don't understand it. In fact, it is very simple. At this stage, many things in society and daily life are solved by these friends, which is simpler and more effective than any other method, but it is impossible to use them without restriction. His side effects are also quite great, and it is impossible to just get it done regardless of the cost. Please calculate accurately how to consider the cost performance ratio. As for the more luxurious configuration, it can be better. For example, there are rich people in the circle of friends, officials with more than seven products, bosses, rich second generation, and some awesome people. For example, there are Bill Gates and Obama in the circle of friends, which is not called mixing society, but playing with society. 2. How to make friends you want to make. Nothing in the world is difficult for one who sets his mind to it. Making friends It is impossible to make friends at once, but if you design carefully, you can at least make ordinary friends, and for utilitarian friends, it is also possible to reach the realm of "fair-weather friends". There is no secret to making friends, only the wine table and hobbies. These two points are shortcuts to making friends. After a table of wine, at least you are familiar with your face and words. After a few drinks, you are not false friends but also false brothers. For others, follow his hobby and hit the target. It is impossible for a person to live without hobbies. If you think that a person has no hobbies, it means that you have not found them. He likes to eat, drink and be merry, so he will accompany him to eat, drink and be merry; He likes singing and dancing, so he sings and dances with him. He likes to pretend to be pure and play with literature and art, so he accompanies him with poems and songs. So many times, don't worry that he won't get to know you, at least he is also a kindred spirit. There are two details in making friends: choosing and listening. It would be better if you could read and listen. Trade-offs are money trade-offs. You want to make some useful friends, but you are stingy, so you have to keep fighting. Another point is listening, which is actually very important. Why do leaders like meetings so much? Because it's great for many people to listen to themselves, why can psychologists become friends with almost every patient? Because they can resist their own impulses, they don't give vent to the patients. On the contrary, they can come up with an interesting listener. The pace of society is getting faster and faster, and people are becoming more and more selfish. How many people are willing to listen to you groaning over there? When you learn to talk less boring and listen more patiently, your talent will be a little deeper and your friends will be more and more. As for how to identify these friends from different industries, it is incredible, but it is actually very simple. Americans have done a very interesting experiment. They want to see an ordinary person looking for a person at random. It takes several layers of relationships to recognize a star in the entertainment circle or a political figure in the upper level. Numerous experiments show that a stranger can find a star or political figure by looking for a person at random, at most through eight layers of relationships. These relationships are basically friends, friends' fathers, nephews' neighbors who know the stars, and so on. But what is certain is that everyone can find these people through layers of relationships! Stars can be found through hard work, not to mention ordinary people from all walks of life? It's still an old saying: Nothing is difficult in the world. 3. How to weave a network of relationships with oneself as the node. It's a pity to master so many friends' resources if they are idle or only used at critical times. Anyone who mixes in the society must be a person around him, at least on the surface, he is a person in the eyes of ordinary people, who can do things that ordinary people can't do and find people that ordinary people can't find. Such a person is a kind of "Spider-Man"-------good at weaving a network with himself as the node. So, how to weave this net? To put it simply, it is Gankun's great move+Huamu Power, which helps B friends' business with the relationship of A friends, and then does C friends' business with the relationship of B friends. The words are good, it sounds beautiful, and it is particularly annoying to do it in practice. If it is not good, both sides are easy to offend. So most people are troublesome, so most people are civilians. It takes a lot of energy to weave such a net, but once it is formed, you can't use it all. When you match, match, measure more carefully, act more cautiously, and have more successful cases, unconsciously, you will find that your ability to do things has exceeded your thinking ability. PS: Never be superstitious about any rules and principles. Mr. Shan Weibao, Chairman of the Board of Directors of Lujin Infrastructure, once said a saying by hit the floor: Never bow down and never back down in the face of difficulties, and there are ways for you to walk past, come out and bypass any difficulties in the world. I like this sentence very much, and I have run through many difficulties and seemingly unsolvable problems in front of rules and regulations, but in the end I can always find a way to go, wear or bypass. 4, how to maximize their own interests. The real purpose of utilitarian friends is to minimize investment and maximize benefits. Some generous friends like to help others, but they seldom ask for help because of their own difficulties. This is completely stupid. The basic function of friends is to help each other. Even to some extent, helping each other is a button to maintain the relationship between friends. You know a friend who just wants to help him and won't let him help himself. Do you want to thunder me? In fact, if you ask your friend for more help, he (she) will feel more at ease when he (she) asks you for help next time, and the relationship will not be awkward. More often, friends can develop into good friends. This is a subtle psychological relationship, so we should make good use of it. Another situation is that your friend A needs 1, tons of anthracite by accident, and your friend B happens to sell anthracite, but A and B don't know each other. What would you do in this situation? A buddy said, it's not easy to do. Do you want to introduce them? Then I have to congratulate this buddy. You are already half like Wu Bai. The correct way is to emphasize all difficulties in front of friend A, but he will try his best to help himself. In front of friend B, emphasize all difficulties, but he will try his best to help himself. You play karate, make a difference, and by the way, you have two more die-hard friends. Other things, with reference to the implementation, in the long run, is bound to be exposed. Therefore, it is necessary to analyze the specific situation and selectively maximize the benefits. PS: The example given is very simple, but it is not easy to really do everything in detail. Playing with fire and walking on a tightrope can play horizontally and hierarchically, which is like being like a duck to water and mixing easily. 5. How to treat friends differently. Basically, the order is this: sincere friends, "excellent friends", friends, "utilitarian friends" and ordinary friends. A sincere friend is a chicken soup for the soul. Everyone needs it, but not everyone can really have it. Everyone can make one or two in his life. If you say that I have more than a dozen real friends, friends, you are too considerate. This kind of friend is out of the question. It is unconditionally helping you when you are cornered. It is your mobile phone number that comes first. It is the first thing you think of when your car broke down in the middle of the night and you called him to come. It is the first thing you ask a guarantor after you were arrested. Acura friends, it's hard to say, what real estate boss, party secretary and so on. After you are sure that he is your friend, this is the best. Friends similar to best friends, especially playmates, are second only to real friends, and the number is very rare. This kind of friend is a friend who can lend money to him, depending on the depth of the relationship. Utilitarian friends refer to the above friends. A general friend is a friend with a general range, and an acquaintance can also be called a general friend. From strange bedfellows to a nodding acquaintance, they can all be called ordinary friends. Most of these friends can borrow money without borrowing it, but they can borrow a small amount, that is, the kind they lend and don't want to pay back. Second, the self-cultivation of mixed society. 1. How to treat one's own quality When it comes to this question, many friends can't help but associate it with the "orthodox" quality that society respects, such as academic qualifications, work experience, work skills, various certificates, achievements of returnees, piano, chess, calligraphy and painting. In fact, your traditional educational inertia thinking is wrong! In a mixed society, everyone is not useless. Everyone has his own unique skills. For example, drinking is a skill! These "orthodox" skills will indeed enhance a person's ability in a certain way, but they are by no means the whole meaning of a mixed society. Its biggest function is that you go to a door of society and knock on it. It can only prove whether you were excellent in a small range in the past, but it can't prove your future value in society! We often see such an example in the society. In a unit, some people are full of complaints: MD, I graduated from a key university, and my work ability is outstanding. How come I am not as good as the so-and-so who flatters useless? In fact, it can be understood that your diploma from a key university is not as good as that of a person who can kiss up to the leader, and your only skill can't be suitable for this small environment. This is a bit harsh and frustrating, but I still speak with facts. After all, social education is very different from school education. What I want to say is: Why do you always complain? Why can't you be an apple polisher with a diploma from a key university and outstanding work ability? Some friends here are dismissive: cut, garbage, I would rather do anything than do such a shameless thing. Flattery is not a fall, and flattery is not a derogatory term. Some friends still feel inferior. "I just graduated from junior high school, and my academic performance is not good. I drink all day, play online cards and billiards." "I can only play online games and dance, but I can't do anything else." . . . These words are a little extreme. I always feel that people should find their own strengths and weaknesses. Is it an advantage or a disadvantage that you can play cards? You want to be friends with others, but in the past few years, you only focused on studying, actively avoided playing things, and never touched seemingly boring things such as cards, online games and billiards. So you won't, so I want to ask, in society, is it easier to make friends with people who can talk and do everything, or with people who are smart and don't touch entertainment like you? Some friends will say, is it not good to study first and others second? If you say so, I'll concentrate on playing. I don't understand it this way. What I want to say is that most people in the society are ordinary people, and reading is only suitable for a few talented players. You can't be a science man, and you will eventually be reduced to the mortal world. In the mortal world, playing cards is sometimes as important as the CET-6 certificate! The reason why you know that reading is the first is the result of long-term indoctrination by parents, teachers and classmates. It is only when you get to the society that you know the question. At the end of this section, I still speak with facts. Counting the ancient kings, you will find that there are basically two parts, one is hereditary, that is, those who were born with a golden key can become kings, and the other is mostly rough people at the grass roots, including prodigals, poor people, hooligans and rogues. They have nothing, so they dare to venture and fight. They have nothing, so they have great courage. They have no knowledge but wisdom, so they have achieved something. And what are those people who are extremely smart, can read and read well, but can't make a fortune in a well-fed society? Being a counselor, being a civil servant and being a famous teacher. Why aren't Zhuge Liang and Wu Yong emperors and princes? By the same token, what are the bosses and chairmen who have made a lot of money in society now? How many students are there in Tsinghua, Peking University? It is normal for junior high school students to lead doctoral subordinates. But a careful analysis of them shows that, except for the first generation who are hereditary and pioneering, their academic qualifications are basically not too high, and some of them have been "supplemented" the day after tomorrow. Without exception, they are all courageous and wise people. Can't this explain the problem? I don't want everyone to achieve their own height. Their height is not solely based on their own efforts. Opportunities in the big environment of the times and opportunities in their own small environment are indispensable. I'm just making it clear that in the vast society, a high degree of education does not mean high quality, and a high amount of alcohol does not mean high quality. Nothing is static. The results and benefits of getting the appreciation of the leading boss by relying on high technology and drinking with the leading boss are exactly the same. The key is the second point, how to position your own quality and find your place in this field! 2. How to locate one's own quality depends on many aspects, but in a mixed society, as far as self is concerned, perfect character is the first, while IQ is the second. Perfect character also includes many aspects, generally speaking, one is to keep quiet, and the other is to observe words and feelings. Immortality refers to properly controlling one's emotions, emotions and personality, recognizing one's own abilities and roles in various occasions, and striving to play one's role to the best. Observing words and feelings refers to observing others, observing each other's character, ability, advantages and disadvantages in their communication with others, and knowing what the other person is, so as to choose the appropriate coping style. These two points are hard to do, especially to control yourself. It's really hard to start with small things and treat these two points as a habit. After a long time, you will gradually mature in the eyes of others. Tips: People who have just left school and are inexperienced usually feel that they don't know how to deal with all kinds of people in society. They feel that they have a lot to say with their peers, but with other roles, such as bosses, elders, taxi drivers, etc.