Be a good and qualified parent
To be a good and qualified parent, the door of wisdom needs a key to open it. It is very important to appropriately reduce the pressure on children. As the saying goes, "grow up" Then I will become you", spend more time with your children, and share with you how to be a good and qualified parent. Hope it's useful to you!
Be a qualified good parent 1
1. Parents do not quarrel when children are present;
2. Give the same love to every child;
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3. Parents are humble and understanding to each other;
4. Parents never lie to their children at any time;
5. Parents and children stay on the same page
6. Parents should welcome their children’s friends as guests;
7. Parents should try their best to answer questions raised by their children;
8. In front of their children’s friends, parents should Don't talk about the child's faults;
9. Pay attention to observing and praising the child's strengths, and do not overemphasize the child's shortcomings;
10. Parents who love their children should not lie to their children, nor should they Lying to your child’s friends. p> 10. Your love for your children should be stable and don’t lose your temper easily.
The above 10 requirements are not only role model requirements for children’s parents to lead by example, but also requirements for children’s parents’ education methods. In 1984, the National Coordinating Committee for Children and Children issued an initiative to parents across the country to launch a nationwide campaign to be a good parent, proposing five standards:
1. Strive to improve your own ideological and moral quality and be a good parent to your children. example.
2. Actively participate in various activities organized by the school. Actively participate in various activities of the parent school and learn the scientific knowledge of raising, cultivating and educating children.
3. Care for your children, guide them patiently, and do not indulge, dote on, or beat or scold them.
4. Actively cooperate with schools (nurseries, kindergartens) to educate their children, and rural parents must ensure that their children of school age are enrolled in school.
5. Cultivate children’s all-round development morally, intellectually, physically, aesthetically and physically. It has been more than ten years since the initiative was launched and it is still a guideline for parents. According to the requirements of today's era, the deepening of family education work, and the hopes of children, this article will talk to parents about how to be a competent parent.
1. Strive to improve your own quality until the role of role model
As the first teacher of their children, parents must be role models. As the saying goes, "What's right is right, and what's wrong is wrong." Parents with bad behavior cannot exert their educational power. Parents' role as teachers is closely related to themselves. Some people say that the quality of parents - knowledge, learning, moral character, cultivation, and talents are like the magma under a volcano. The thicker and fuller the accumulation, the stronger the explosive power of children's growth. The quality of parents here mainly refers to ideological and moral quality, cultural and scientific knowledge level, healthy psychological quality and the ability to educate children, etc. To improve the quality of parents, we should start from the following aspects:
(1) Efforts to improve the ideological and moral level
From childhood to adulthood, every move, word and deed of the parents has an impact on their character. , the cultivation and formation of moral character plays a subtle role. Parents first require that they have noble moral character, have ideals, and have a positive outlook on life; have a high sense of responsibility for the country, the people, and the cause; abide by laws and social ethics in society; be civilized and polite, and have a decent style , upright, clear right from wrong, open-minded, selfless, helpful, etc. The preschool period is an important period when a person's personality and character begin to form. During this period, children's brain neural activity has great plasticity. Because young children are curious, love to imitate, love to ask questions, have a strong thirst for knowledge, and are easily influenced by the outside world, the role of parents' example is very important at this time. In other words, parents’ external behaviors are the manifestation of children’s learning. People often say: Look, this child walks just like his parents. It can be seen that the behavior of parents is an example for young children to learn. Sun Jingxiu once said to parents: "Children's eyes are cameras and their brains are recorders. Your words and deeds are engraved in their hearts. You must be a good example! The power of example is infinite and it has strong persuasion." power and appeal.
If parents behave elegantly and speak elegantly, their children will do the same. If parents behave vulgarly, they will inevitably have a bad impact on their children. Such an incident happened in a kindergarten. A little boy liked to hug little girls and kiss them. When the teacher corrected his behavior, the little boy looked at the teacher incomprehensively and said, "My father kisses his mother like this." From the little boy's behavior, we can see that the parents' behavior is inappropriate. They are too close in front of their children. , as a result, children will imitate and imitate. Furthermore, if parents can consciously abide by social ethics and maintain public health, they will peel fruits and vegetables after eating and put them in the sanitary box. Children will also develop this habit of maintaining public health. And some adults do not stick to trivial matters, spitting and throwing dirt everywhere, and children will do the same.
(2) Strive to improve the level of cultural and scientific knowledge
People often say that if a teacher wants to give students a glass of water, he must have a bucket of water himself. Professional level cannot be used to require regular teachers, because parents have different life experiences and cultural levels, or even very different. It is probably very unrealistic to insist that parents have a certain cultural level and have the ability to be a preschool teacher. However, in today's era, culture and technology are becoming more and more developed, and knowledge is constantly being updated. Even highly educated people will not be able to keep up with the requirements of the times if they do not continue to study, and there is a problem of aging knowledge. Young children have a strong thirst for knowledge. In order to get satisfactory answers, they often ask some weird questions to adults, which invisibly reduces their prestige in the eyes of children. Parents should be good at learning and make themselves their children's mentors and helpful friends. This not only sets a good example for their children, but also protects their children's enthusiasm for learning and improves themselves at the same time. The cultural quality of parents also has a very important impact on their children's first-quality education. Many criminal cases reflect that legal illiteracy is often accompanied by ignorance and illiteracy. According to a survey of 5,350 juvenile criminal offenders, 82.9% had mothers with only a primary school education, and only 4.5% had mothers with higher education. Among the students in the junior class of the University of Science and Technology of China, 70% come from intellectual families.
(3) You must have good psychological quality
Psychological quality mainly refers to a person’s personality, emotions, will, interests and other personality characteristics, as well as the ability to self-regulate in dealing with interpersonal relationships wait. For young children, parents are the closest people, and the emotions of parents are very contagious to young children. If the parents laugh, the children will dance with joy; if the parents are angry, the children will be frightened and overwhelmed, or even cry. The parents' emotions have a direct effect on the formation of the child's personality.
Some children are stubborn, some are docile, some are impatient, some are sensitive, etc., all of which are related to the emotions of their parents. Parents should have a cheerful personality, be kind to others, be compassionate, affable, and maintain normal and stable emotions. It is very beneficial for children to develop healthy emotions from an early age. Children who grow up in this kind of spiritual atmosphere can generally develop a healthy attitude. Have a correct mentality and not be disturbed by unexpected events happening around you, be stable and peaceful, and have a strong ability to resist setbacks.
Parents should also have the psychological quality of patience and meticulousness when implementing family education. There is a famous saying abroad: Everyone can train their children to become "two-love" giants (Edison and Einstein), it depends on whether you have patience, confidence and determination. Edison, the inventor of more than a thousand inventions, was rejected by teachers as an idiot; Einstein, the greatest scientist of the 20th century, was expelled from school for "mental retardation" at the age of 12. Their parents did not lose confidence in educating their children because of their "stupidity". On the contrary, they cultivated their children with great patience. On the contrary, they used great patience to develop their children's intelligence and laid a solid foundation for "Two Loves" to achieve glory. In daily life, we often see that some parents lack patience and meticulousness when educating their children. They often scold and scold their children because they cannot understand the adults' intentions. The voices of "stupid pigs" and "idiots" are endless. Children's inferiority complex arises spontaneously
If parents do not have enough patience and care in the process of educating their children, they will develop an inferiority complex in their children, which will affect their healthy growth.
Parents must also have a strong character, dare to confront difficulties head-on, be good at using their brains to solve problems, and never give up until they achieve their goals. This is very necessary for the formation of children's strong character and the courage to overcome setbacks. of.
In addition, parents should also have a variety of interests and hobbies. The interests and hobbies here refer to the activities that parents participate in various activities that are beneficial to physical and mental health after work, such as music, chess, calligraphy and painting, ball sports, photography, etc. Making family life colorful and full of vitality is not only beneficial to mental health, but also beneficial to physical health. It is also conducive to cultivating children's positive outlook on life and social interaction skills.
2. Study family education knowledge seriously and improve the level of educating children
Family education is a multi-disciplinary comprehensive pedagogy that involves a wide range of content, including psychology, Education, ethics, aesthetics, hygiene, nutrition, etc. Gorky said that educating children is not an easy task. "Educating children well is a national matter, which requires talent and profound knowledge of life." For parents, everyone is not required to become an education expert, but parents are required to understand the laws of children's growth and development. They often do things that violate the laws of education and produce undesirable results. For example, preschool children, 3-7 years old, curious Strong-minded, often full of naive fantasies, they often ask their parents some strange questions, and even do some behaviors that make adults unbelievable. Some behaviors are often destructive. Adults should not rashly accuse children of "making trouble" or "making trouble", or even beat or scold them. They should see that they may give birth to the buds of creative personality, and provide them with the right encouragement and guidance to wait for a reasonable period of time. development. It is necessary to correctly encourage and guide them to develop rationally. For example, some children like to break electric toys or tape recorders at home. The reason is due to the children's curiosity. Parents who understand this characteristic will correctly guide their children's curiosity and stimulate their thirst for knowledge. Cultivate children's interest in exploring knowledge and lay the foundation for their love of learning in the future. However, some parents do not understand the psychology of their children and often resort to scolding and scolding, which stifles the budding creativity of their children's individuality. I remember a celebrity once said: In your spanking, there is no Edison, no Einstein, no Witt... Another example is that early childhood is the best period for the development of spoken language. If It would be the wisest thing for parents to pay attention to cultivating their children's oral language skills during this period. However, some parents force their children to write Chinese characters and do arithmetic, which not only fails to achieve the purpose of education, but also dampens their children's enthusiasm for learning and makes them difficult to enter. Being tired of learning during formal learning at school age can be said to be a waste of time. Its negative impact is difficult to eliminate. Parents should comprehensively understand their children's psychological and physiological characteristics, grasp their children's personalities, and teach students in accordance with their aptitude based on reality. To this end, parents should find time to learn some family education knowledge.
In addition, parents should actively participate in parent school activities, listen to more lectures, and communicate more with parents of children of the same age and experience, which is very beneficial to improving their children's educational level.
3. Update the concept of talent, clarify training goals, and allow children to develop in an all-round way
What kind of person a child will be trained into is a concern of every parent. Zhejiang Daily published an article: In a survey, 92.7% of parents hope that their children will prepare for college entrance examinations. Such high expectations reflect the misunderstandings of contemporary parents in their outlook on success. As a result, parents have a very tiring life. Many parents have planned a brilliant path for their children before they are born. They must go to key kindergartens, key primary schools, key middle schools, prestigious universities, and study abroad until their children become successful and famous. After the child is born, especially in early childhood, parents begin to rush to various classes, sometimes letting their children learn piano, sometimes letting them learn electronic keyboard, sometimes letting their children learn painting, sometimes letting their children learn calligraphy..., Some parents regard their children as private property and want their children to stand out and honor their ancestors. In order to achieve this goal, they use material stimulation or stick education to make the children expect that their grandparents will provide for them in the same way as they do in old age, so they do not need to learn. Psychological research shows that moderate expectations are the prerequisite for children's healthy growth and normal development, and can even lead to tragedies. A worker surnamed Hu in Nanjing kicked his three-year-old only son to death because he could not recite Tang poems. Children often injure their fingers to avoid piano practice. These lessons should cause parents to think deeply. Parents should update their concept of success.
When Vice Premier Li Lanqing inspected quality education in Miluo, Hunan Province on May 11, 1996, he said: "The country needs all kinds of talents, but the talent structure of any country is pagoda-shaped, with junior talents, intermediate talents, Senior talents are hierarchical and the structure must be reasonable. Junior and intermediate talents are the largest in any country and at any time. "Junior and mid-level talents are the largest in any country and at any time." He also said, "Only those who are fully developed are the most useful people to society, so our education must adhere to the policy of all-round development of morality, intelligence, and body." He believes that only people with healthy minds, broad minds, strong organizational and practical abilities, a correct outlook on life, worldview, values, morals, and good health can contribute to society and develop in an all-round way. Society is rich and colorful and requires multi-faceted and multi-level talents. Judging from current social needs, only 6-7% of people of the same age can enter college. It is impossible and unnecessary for every child to become a college student and a researcher in cutting-edge science. Everyone's innate qualities and acquired influences are different. Some people are suitable for development in the high-tech field, and some are suitable for developing their own characteristics in ordinary positions. Parents must adapt to the needs of the country and establish the idea of ??educating their children for the country. According to their children Design a practical future for children based on their own conditions. As the old saying goes, "Seventy-three lines of practice will lead to the number one scholar". Even ordinary service industries can also cultivate skilled craftsmen with extraordinary skills, such as celebrity chefs in the catering industry; masters in the beauty and hairdressing industry; high-end fashion designers in the clothing industry do not necessarily come from prestigious universities, but are often self-taught. Become a talented person. Mao Zedong, a generation of great figures such as statesman, theorist, writer, poet, and calligrapher, never entered a university for further study. The famous thinker and writer Mr. Lu Xun studied medicine. They all used their own successful growth experiences to illustrate that success does not necessarily require thousands of troops to squeeze into the single-plank bridge of university. Parents should set appropriate expectations for their children based on my country's national conditions and social needs as well as their own conditions, cultivate their children's various interests and hobbies, let nature take its course, and educate their children to develop in an all-round way morally, intellectually, physically, aesthetically and physically.
4. Create a good family atmosphere
The so-called atmosphere refers to the environmental atmosphere and emotions. It is a certain kind of mutual restriction caused by the interaction between people in a certain environment. Psychological emotions and environmental atmosphere. Family atmosphere is also the psychological emotion and environmental atmosphere formed during the mutual influence and mutual restriction of family members in the environment. It includes: living environment, lifestyle, life interest, traditional habits, moral norms, conduct, etc. Good family atmosphere. It can make children lively, cheerful, generous, studious, honest, humble, gregarious, curious, love labor, love cleanliness, be punctual and trustworthy, etc. A bad family atmosphere will make children timid, suspicious, selfish, jealous, lonely, lazy, laissez-faire, impolite, vulgar, etc. This is because in the process of adapting to the family environment, children often regard their parents as the closest ones. , the most direct imitation object, forming one's own psychological set and personality characteristics. The quality of the family atmosphere is an important factor affecting the child's mental and behavioral health. First of all, we must create a good family atmosphere for our children:
(1) A good living environment
The family is the basic fixed place in life, and people spend most of their time in the family. Passed. Children's survival cannot be separated from the family. First of all, parents must create a good living environment for their children. Although every family has different economic levels and housing conditions, the standard of decoration cannot be imposed, but the rooms can still be arranged neatly, with elegant and harmonious colors, so that children can live in a family with a comfortable, quiet and warm environment. Some families do not pay attention to environmental layout and cleanliness. The furniture in the house is messy and dirt can be seen everywhere, giving people a sense of having no place to stand. Such an environment is not conducive to the healthy physical and mental development of children. Although some parents have excellent financial conditions and have modern furnishings at home, they forget to give their children a world of play. Some parents are very particular about cleanliness and keep everything spotless. They impose too many restrictions on their children. They are not allowed to play here or sit there, which greatly restricts the children's movements. This is not advisable.
(2) Good work and rest time and habits
The family should form a relatively fixed life time and rest time, including rest, dining, entertainment, labor, study, etc., and each family member should We must consciously abide by it, and in the long run, we will form a time concept, which will lay the foundation for us to enter collective life in kindergartens and schools, consciously abide by collective discipline, maintain social order, and assume social responsibilities. Observe disciplines, maintain social order, and focus on developing good behavioral habits to lay the foundation for social morality. Some families set a timetable for their children, but the parents are outsiders. Some even stay up all night playing mahjong, drinking and boxing. Some are addicted to watching video and TV and forget about normal work and rest. Some are intoxicated in the palace of music and forget about it. It is very difficult to restrain the child before going back and so on.
This kind of "disobedient" behavior of children gives parents and teachers a headache.
Every member of the family should also pay attention to hygiene habits, such as washing hands before meals and after using the toilet, changing clothes on time, not spitting or littering, keeping clean regularly, cleaning the room on time, etc.
(3) Harmonious psychological atmosphere
Parents should also create a harmonious psychological atmosphere for their children in the family. Family members live in harmony, treat each other as equals, care for each other, trust each other, and understand each other. Even if conflicts occur, they can be resolved smoothly. Research shows that children who grow up in a democratic, harmonious, and civilized family show characteristics such as emotional stability, rich emotions, delicateness, cheerfulness, unity, friendship, and self-confidence. This is because civilized families can give children a sense of security and make them feel warm and happy at home; secondly, it satisfies children's sense of belonging. Children can feel love and respect in the family, and can also learn how to love others and how to To respect others to enhance self-esteem and self-confidence. When children encounter difficulties, setbacks and discouragement, they can draw strength and guidance from their families. The famous writer Leo Tolstoy said: "Harmony between husband and wife is the first condition for successfully educating children." In some families, husband and wife are at odds, blame each other, and often quarrel and fight, which is very harmful to the physical and mental health of the children. A juvenile prisoner once said: "My childhood was spent amidst the quarrels and fights of my parents. My childhood was spent in trembling." The Urumqi Juvenile Prison Correctional Center once did this to juvenile prisoners. The survey found that 40% of children turned to crime because their parents were divorced and left unsupervised.
The results of the national key scientific research project "Research on the Psychological Characteristics of Children from Divorced Families (3-12 Years Old)" participated by relevant educational and scientific researchers in Xinjiang show that children from divorced families generally have the following characteristics: (1) Crying; (2) Bohemian and running around; (3) Excessive timidity and anxiety; (4) Apathy and indifference; (5) Depressed and unable to be happy; (6) Pessimism , feel inferior; (7) lonely, often in a daze; (8) easily irritable and angry; (9) afraid of certain animals, scenes and people; (10) stubborn and boastful, accompanied by being unsociable, withdrawn, indifferent, Psychological qualities and psychological disorders that are not suitable for society, such as being neurotic, defensive, liking to lie, deceive, or even hostile to others. All these surveys show that a harmonious family is a very important aspect of the healthy growth of children. For this reason, parents must be responsible for their children's lives, and families must have a high sense of responsibility so that children can grow up in a democratic and harmonious atmosphere. Parents must regard their children as the main members of the family, treat each other as equals in terms of personality, and do not treat adults as Young children like games. Parents should take time to play games with their children, cultivate their children's independence in the game, give timely affirmation and encouragement to their children's legitimate behaviors, and respond to their children's bad behaviors. Promptly affirm and encourage children's legitimate behaviors. If they have bad behaviors, they should be persuaded with reason and stopped in time, rather than simply and rudely.
5. Actively cooperate with the community and collectively educate children
Family education, collective (kindergarten, school) education, and social education are the three components of modern national education. Among these three parts, family education is the foundation and has irreplaceable advantages in terms of time, educational content, and educational methods. But this does not affect the consistency of its educational goals, which is to train children to become ideal, moral, cultural, and disciplined all-round builders of the 21st century. Therefore, these three aspects of education must coordinate with each other and be harmonious and unified.
With the development of education in our country, most preschool children receive education in nurseries and kindergartens. This kind of collective education is more formal than family education in terms of method, content and form. The teachers here will plan and step by step to cultivate children's behavioral habits, quality cultivation, and cultivate their creativity, interest in learning, etc. Preschool teachers have received professional training and have rich education and childcare knowledge and education levels. They understand the characteristics and laws of children's psychological and physiological development better than parents. Therefore, parents should take the initiative to get in touch with the kindergarten, closely cooperate with the kindergarten teachers and caregivers, and fully cooperate with their children’s education. First of all, parents should understand the kindergarten’s education regulations, education syllabus and relevant regulations, and cooperate with the kindergarten and teachers. **Cooperate with children's education to achieve consistent educational goals and educational pace. Secondly, we must actively encourage children to participate in group activities and educational activities, and cultivate children's collectivism spirit and social interaction skills. The last point is to actively participate in home contact activities, such as home contact open days, so that parents can understand the daily routine of kindergartens. The parent school allows parents to learn the knowledge and methods of scientific parenting through listening to lectures, teaching experience exchanges, expert consultations and other activities. Parents Don't give up this good opportunity on the excuse of busy work and tight time.
In short, how to be a competent parent is something that parents need to take seriously. The career that parents are engaged in is a career that shapes the human soul and improves the quality of the entire Chinese nation, and we are constantly exploring On the road to success in this career, in practice, when your children become useful talents for the party and the country, you can say: I have fulfilled my duties as a people's teacher.
Be a good and qualified parent 2
1. Reading together
Will you take your children to the bookstore to read at least once a month? Do you make a conscious effort to help your children choose the right books? Books are the ladder of human progress. Cultivate your child's reading habit from an early age, and your child will benefit from it throughout his life.
As long as children keep reading, learning will never stop. Many parents like to play the role of teachers and often teach their children the knowledge in textbooks. I think it’s better to spend more time reading with your children. In fact, parents can only educate their children in a subtle way. A mother who plays mahjong day and night. She keeps telling her children to study, study, study amidst the sound of mahjong, but it is difficult to have any effect.
When parents read and read newspapers, their children will also read and read newspapers. Read a book with your children!
Do you subscribe to multiple child-friendly newspapers? Many parents often buy clothes and toys for their children. But they rarely subscribe to newspapers and magazines for their children. It is true that toys will pass away soon, but giving children knowledge that will last a lifetime is something that many parents lack. As a family, reading books and newspapers together that smell like ink will be the happiest and best memory of a child's childhood. Subscribing to newspapers is to let children's knowledge grow with their age. It's almost the season for subscribing to books and newspapers, why don't you start?
Two: Cultivate a broad mind
Will you cultivate a broad mind in your children to care about the world? Would you buy a globe, a map of the world, and a map of China to put at home? Whenever a place is covered in the news, do you and your children discover that place? News reports are both good and bad, and there are great differences between regions. Let the children know how people lived during the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, and also let the children know that Japan, the United States, and the United Kingdom are very rich. Their wealth depends on high technology and knowledge. , if they don’t have knowledge, they will also lag behind. Let children understand that they must study knowledge diligently. As the saying goes, read thousands of books and travel thousands of miles. Let your children "travel" thousands of miles without going out. Play the news every day and your children will "read" all over the world.
3. Learn to do housework
A child is a person first. Even if the child becomes a great man in the future, you can make food now, but he will not be hungry. You have to learn everything. If you don’t give your child a chance to exercise, what will happen to him in the future? I know that many parents are worried that it is not safe for their children to cook; second, they feel that their children cannot cook well and are in the way; and third, they feel that it is enough for their children to only read books by sages.
But we will eventually grow old, and our children will start families and start businesses. I've heard that some college students dropped out of school because they couldn't take care of themselves. A friend of mine did the same. I have a friend who doesn't know much about life. After graduating from college, he would rather not go to a good city, but stay with his parents and eat "old milk". Last month, he didn't even dare to go to the United States for further study.
I can't imagine how he will live when his parents grow old. We can’t educate our children to make a lot of money in the future, but we can definitely teach them to do housework now. Let’s ask them to fry an egg tonight!
4. **** and chat
Many parents find that their children do not listen to their friends. In fact, this is not because parents don’t love their children much or take care of them well, but because they lack communication with their children. Adults always think that they are very busy, but little do they know that children are so delicate and lonely, especially the only children who are trapped at home every day, making them feel even more lonely. When the author conducted a survey in the class he taught, the students in the class who were disciplined, had good moral character, and excelled in studies all said that their parents often talked to them before going to bed. Their parents talked to them about work, let them talk about things at school, and talked for a while. A good night. I think that as long as parents pay attention to strengthening communication with their children, the children will accept the education of their parents. On the contrary, if they do not accept it, it will start from tonight!
5. Do more and talk less
As the saying goes: dragons give birth to dragons, phoenixes give birth to phoenixes, mice give birth to burrows in the ground, which means that the kind of children will be the same as the parents. . Parents are role models for their children. Parents do not necessarily need to be high-ranking officials or literati. They should use their great achievements and wealth as role models for their children. But they can be kind, loving, responsible, hard-working, and down-to-earth. There is no need to use words to teach children to be filial to the elderly. If you honor your parents and parents-in-law, if your child sees it, he will also learn from your example in the future, and vice versa.
There is glass on the roadside and you bend down to pick up the garbage. Then your behavior is a "good deed" and plants the seeds of "goodness" in the heart of the child. Maybe your labor is not very noble, but if you work hard, you will give your children a "serious" character. Children with a "serious" character will be excellent in both study and future work. It is almost impossible for parents to teach their children. They can only use their own actions to influence their children. Therefore, they can only do more.
The whole world is like an olive pit, wise men and fools are like the tips of the olive pit, and ordinary people are like the middle of the olive pit. If the child can be happy, happy, and independent, then our task will be completed and we will be a qualified parent.