I once met a businessman in Texas. He was furious about something. Someone warned me that as long as I "know him 15 minutes", he would definitely say it. It's been 1 1 month, and he still can't forget it.
Remember. He gave 34 employees $300 each as a Christmas bonus.
Ten thousand dollars, and as a result, he didn't hear a word of thanks. He complained, "That's ridiculous. Why should I give them bonuses? "
"An angry man is full of poison" was said by a saint. I really sympathize with the man who is covered in poison. He is about 60 years old. According to the statistics of life insurance company, the number of years we can live is about two-thirds of the difference between our present age and our 80-year-old age. This man, if he is lucky, will live 14 to 15 years. Unfortunately. He wasted the limited rest of his life for nearly a whole year, and he was bitter about the past. I really felt sorry for him.
Maybe those employees are selfish, mean and rude. But I hope this gentleman has nothing but resentment and self-pity. He can ask himself why people don't appreciate him. Is it possible that the salary is too low and the working hours are too long? Or employees think that the Christmas bonus is part of what they deserve. Maybe he is so picky on weekdays that others dare not and don't want to thank him.
Maybe so, maybe so. I won't know the whole situation better than you. But ... I do know that Dr. Johnson in England once said, "Gratitude is the product of great education, and you can hardly get it from ordinary people."
Obviously, someone who wants others to appreciate his kindness is making a common mistake. He really doesn't understand human nature.
If you save a unlucky person, do you expect him to thank you? You may, but before he became a judge, Samuel leibowitz was a famous criminal lawyer. He saved 78 criminals from the electric chair. Guess how many of them came to thank you. Or send a Christmas card? I think you have guessed. That's right. None of them.
Jesus Christ made 10 people walk again in just a few hours, but how many people thanked him? Only one. When Jesus Christ looked around his disciples and asked, "Where are the other nine?" They all ran away, no thanks, no thanks. I want to ask you: why are ordinary people like you and me, or that Texas businessman? Give others a little kindness and hope to get more gratitude than Jesus?
As for financial help, let alone think about it! Charles Schwab told me. There was once a bank teller who embezzled bank funds for stock trading without authorization and lost all his money. At that time, it was he who helped the man raise funds to avoid being sued. So did this man thank him? Yes, but only temporarily. Later, the man turned against him because of a small matter.
If you give $654.38+$00,000 to your relatives for nothing, you must imagine that he will appreciate you. Andrew carnegie helped his relatives. But if andrew carnegie comes back to life, he will be surprised to find that this relative is cursing him. Why? Because Carnegie only gave him $6.5438+0 million, and all the other $300 million were donated to charity.
There are many unfair things in the world, and you are not worth looking forward to. We should learn to accept it like the wisest Roman emperor, Cus Alelius. He wrote in his diary:
"Even if you meet talkative people, selfish people, self-centered people, ungrateful people. I won't panic or worry. Because I can't imagine a world without these people. "
Isn't that reasonable? We complain about the ingratitude of others every day. Whose fault is this? If we didn't expect others to appreciate our kindness before, then if we occasionally
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Get the gratitude of others. There will be a surprise: if you don't get it. You shouldn't be sad or depressed.
Maybe. It is human nature to forget other people's gifts and not be grateful to others. So if we always expect others to be grateful, we are probably asking for trouble.
I know a woman who lives in new york. Her biggest confusion is that none of her relatives want to visit her, which makes her lonely all day. However, there is really nothing strange about this, and they can't be blamed at all. If you visit her, she will spend hours talking with you about how she took care of her nephew when he was young. They have measles, mumps and whooping cough. She even stayed up for days and nights, guarding carefully. They lived with her for many years and supported a nephew to finish business school until he got married.
At first, these nephews often come back, but gradually, there are fewer and fewer of them. They are afraid to sit there for hours listening to old people, complaining endlessly and feeling sorry for themselves. When the woman found that neither threats nor inducements could bring her nephews back to see her, she began to use the last resort-a heart attack.
Did she really have a heart attack? Of course not. However, the doctor also said that her heart was neurotic and she often had palpitations. But the doctor was helpless because her problem was in her head.
In fact, the woman's request is very simple, that is, to get the gratitude of her nephews. But ... she may never understand. Because she felt that she deserved it, she asked others for it.
There are many people like her in the world. Because others are ungrateful, because they are lonely, because they are neglected and sick, they long for love. But the only way to truly get love in this world is not to ask for it, not to beg for it, but to give it selflessly and without regrets.
This sounds unrealistic and difficult to do, but it is the best way to pursue happiness. I can testify. Because I've seen what happened in my family with my own eyes.
My parents are helpful. We are poor. So I'm always embarrassed to get into debt. But even so poor. My parents still squeeze some money out of their stomachs every year and send it to the orphanage. The orphanage is located in Iowa, and they have never been there once. Perhaps no one has ever thanked them except for receiving a reply. But they were rewarded. Because they enjoy helping those helpless children and don't want anything else in return.
Every year when I can't go home for Christmas because of work, I send my parents checks to buy things they like, but they seldom do so. When I go home for Christmas. My father will tell me that they buy coal and daily necessities for poor women with many children in the town. When they give these gifts, they also get real happiness-the happiness of giving without asking for anything in return.
Aristotle said, "An ideal person will enjoy the pleasure of helping others." I am convinced that my father is such an ideal person.
True happiness only lies in selfless giving, and you can't have any idea of asking for gratitude while giving, otherwise you will be sad and unhappy.
For thousands of years, most parents have resented their children's ingratitude.
Shakespeare's King Lear shouted the most shocking words: "An ungrateful child is more painful than the sharp teeth of a poisonous snake."
Is this the child's fault? Of course not. Parents don't educate, how can children know how to be grateful? Ungrateful is like a weed growing everywhere: gratitude is like a rose, which needs careful care and nourishment.
The child doesn't know who to blame for gratitude. I'm afraid we have only ourselves to blame. How can we expect them to thank us if we never teach them to thank others?
A friend of mine. Live in Chicago. He works hard in a carton factory. The weekly salary is only $40. He married a widow, and she persuaded him to borrow money from others to send his two sons to college. His weekly salary is used to pay all the living expenses and the arrears that should be paid. He worked hard for four years and never complained.
Did anyone thank him? No. His wife took it for granted. Of course, two sons are the same. They never felt a little indebted to their stepfather.
Who is to blame for this? These two young people? Isn't this mom's fault? She believes that these two young lives should not have such a burden of obligation. She doesn't want her son to start their life with "debt". Therefore, she never thought of saying, "Your stepfather is really a great man. He helped you finish college. " Instead, her attitude is, "Oh! That's his duty. "
She thinks her sons are growing up healthily. In fact, she made their hearts defective and gave them a dangerous idea that the world has an obligation to keep them alive. This idea is really dangerous. One of her two sons tried to borrow some money from her boss and ended up in prison.
We must remember that the children's words and deeds are entirely caused by their parents.
For example, I, Viola Alexander, never complain about my children's ingratitude. When I was little. I took care of my mother and mother-in-law during menstruation. I still remember two old people sitting in front of the fireplace. Have they ever given me any menstrual problems? Do you have any problems with her? I think there must be, and there will be no less, but I can't see it at all from my attitude towards menstruation. She really loves them and wants them to spend their old age peacefully and enjoy the warmth and sweetness of their family.
In addition to taking care of two old people, Viola Menstruation has six children of her own, but she never feels that she has done anything great. In her opinion, all these things are natural, correct and what she likes to do.
Viola has been widowed for more than ten years, and her five adult children are willing to live with her. Her children adore her and don't want to leave her. Is this out of gratitude? Of course not! This is the expression of true love! These children have lived in an atmosphere of charity since childhood. It is their mother who needs to be taken care of now, and they return the same love. What's so strange about this?
Let's not forget that if children want to know how to be grateful, they must first become kind parents who don't ask for anything in return. Our words and deeds are very important. In front of the children. Never denigrate the goodwill of others, and never say, "Look at the Christmas present from my cousin. She made it herself. How stingy! " "We may say this sentence easily, but the children will listen and keep it in mind. Therefore, we'd better say, "Prepare these Christmas presents. Cousin must have spent a lot of time. She is really a caring person. We should write to thank her. "In this way, our children will unconsciously become grateful."
Just get used to it.