Is it really impossible to be happy after a long marriage? Netizen 1: I once married to another city despite my parents' opposition, but because I was far away, my parents quarreled with me, thinking that I would not care about their pension, and I am still indifferent to me. On the day I gave birth, they didn't come over on the grounds of being far away. Now the child 19 months. As grandparents, they haven't bought clothes for their children.
Netizen 2: After graduating from college, I stayed in Shenzhen to work and met my boyfriend at work. Although my parents were reluctant at first and thought it was too far, I finally agreed. Now they feel good, and we have nothing to regret.
Netizen 3: I was married far away, and now I especially regret it. Originally, my dad gave me a good family at home, but I didn't listen to his arrangement. I talked about a place outside, which is a hundred thousand miles away from home. After marriage, my husband has no responsibility, and my mother-in-law doesn't take care of my children and can't go to work. I want a divorce now, but I'm afraid my child will never have a father. But if I don't get a divorce, I'll feel like I'm living in a fire pit.
Once in a short video APP, many parents wrote a letter of guarantee, which promised to get married soon, and then let their daughter 1 year old? Make a bet? . In fact, this also shows that many parents are afraid of marrying far away.
Far-away marriage really worries parents. Most parents love their daughters, so they don't want their daughters to be married and separated from their parents, for fear that their daughters will suffer hardships in other places. Because of love, I am afraid. However, many practical problems have proved that these concerns are justified.
1, you can't go home often.
First of all, once married to a foreign country, the daughter is far away from home, which is difficult to solve. When parents are old, they all want to have children to talk to when they are old. Once a daughter marries far away, parents will feel that their children who have been raised for more than 20 years will run away with others. Parents are unwilling, so they hate their daughters marrying far away.
Although the traffic is developed enough now, the place is far away. It may take five or six hours to go back, and some even take more than ten hours or a day. Parents really have problems at home, and it's too late for their daughter to come back. And once the daughter has a baby, she often goes home? It may become more difficult.
2. Not used to local customs and food.
There is a custom in a place, and the customs and food in each place are different. Some daughters are only children in their own families. They have been pampered since childhood and have never suffered anything. They may feel fresh when they go to other places temporarily, but they will miss the food and people in their hometown over time.
If you are not used to the local customs and diet and are unwilling to talk about it, you may have health problems, which are all the parts that parents need to worry about.
3. Afraid of being bullied by my daughter can't quench my thirst.
When a daughter marries far away, one of the most feared problems for parents is that her daughter is bullied and has no way to support her. After all, parents can't visit their daughters often because people are in other places. But if they want to marry their daughter far away, they don't know that marriage and premarital are two completely different living conditions.
The sweetness of the young couple has become a family life, and it is inevitable that there will be quarrels because of different customs, different tones and even different dietary tastes. This is unexpected for a daughter who has not been married far away, and parents must help her consider it.
In fact, if a daughter wants to marry far away, parents need to check her love for the other half at these points. Sometimes, no matter how parents obstruct it, it seems that it will have no effect. There is a saying that children can't help their mothers. Being a parent is too demanding, but it will be counterproductive. As long as the daughter thinks it over and the parents grasp the general direction, there will be basically no big problems.
1, convenient transportation
First of all, since it is a distant marriage, it must be a place far from home. With the progress of society, transportation is also developing day by day. High-speed rail and airplanes are tools to make distance not a problem. When a daughter proposes a distant marriage, her parents can help her make a rational analysis and refer to whether the transportation in the distant marriage place is convenient and whether she can go home often.
2. Economic situation
In today's society, economic conditions may have become an important criterion for choosing a spouse. Many parents are afraid that their children will suffer because of poor economic conditions, so they resolutely disagree. Therefore, if the daughter chooses to marry in a foreign country, parents can see whether the other family conditions are equal to or slightly better than their own.
The family conditions are too good, and parents are worried that the other party will look down on their family and their daughter will be wronged when she marries. The family conditions are not good, and parents are worried that their daughter will not even be able to eat a decent meal when she marries abroad, and she will suffer for life. Therefore, when parents help their daughters to consider, economic conditions are not the only reference, but the essential issues to be considered.
3. Son-in-law herself
The first thing to choose a husband depends on the son-in-law's character, personal ability and whether he really treats his daughter. A son-in-law is someone who wants to spend his life with his daughter. No one wants his daughter to want a divorce in the middle.
Therefore, parents can communicate with their son-in-law more and see if his son-in-law has any bad habits, such as smoking and drinking, and whether he has bad gambling habits. These are all things that parents should help their daughters consider.
Secondly, the son-in-law's personal ability does not require money at home, but the son-in-law must have personal ability. Otherwise, after they have children, they have no fixed income and the son-in-law has no ability. They go home every day and quarrel about money. Such a family will not be happy.
4. Does the mother-in-law make sense?
Many young people don't seem to understand the importance of their mother-in-law, not that marriage is a matter for two people. Even if they live separately, in the years when they have children, their mother-in-law may be around to take care of them and meet them on holidays.
If the mother-in-law is domineering and unreasonable, this kind of person is hard to change at all. It is more likely that her daughter will be made difficult by her mother-in-law after marriage, and even her mother-in-law feels wrong and her daughter feels wronged. However, there is no need to ask her mother-in-law to treat her daughter-in-law as a daughter. After all, few mother-in-law can do it in the true sense, just asking her mother-in-law to treat things without demanding and being reasonable.
5. Does the daughter have the ability to solve problems?
The last thing to consider is whether the daughter has the ability to solve various problems after being married for a long time. Many parents raised their daughters in the palm of their hands. Even when they are adults, they don't have the ability to handle things independently. They always cling to their parents' arms.
Once such a daughter is married to a foreign country, she will be wronged when she meets anything, and no one will help her solve it, because she used to rely on her parents, but now she can only hold it in her stomach. On the other hand, my daughter has been very independent since she was a child, and she can be independent when she is with others, and she can solve problems in time without her parents worrying about it at all.
In addition to investigating these, parents can also do some things by themselves. 1. When getting married, don't let their daughter fall in price.
Today's society itself is more secular. In order to make her daughter live better in other places and let other families look up to her, dowry is essential. Patriarchy is the foundation of a daughter, the capital to stand up and speak up at home, and the basis for her direct resistance when she is wronged.
2. Tell your daughter that you will always be the strong backing.
Even if the daughter marries far away, she needs the support of her parents. Because of the long marriage, I am very helpless in the field. If she quarrels with her parents because of her long marriage, then her daughter has suffered a little injustice at home, and no one has complained, and she feels sad. Even if you are wronged, you want to leave and turn back. Nowhere to go.
Daughter doesn't have time to go home often, so parents can go.
If the daughter can't go home often because of work, children and so on. When parents retire or are free, they can go to their daughters by car to support them. Otherwise, the husband's family will start to criticize that her family doesn't come to see her daughter once a year, and it is estimated that she doesn't care about her daughter.
In fact, most people can't have a complete marriage, because the collision between two families is inevitable. The road to marriage is long, and parents are no longer guardian angels. Daughter needs to travel and face the outside world. Parents can spare their daughters and let them always remember that their parents are the strongest backing.