What do psychological counselors need to grow up in?

This process is to communicate and discuss the questions raised by visitors through consultants and visitors, so as to help visitors mobilize their potential, get out of their psychological difficulties and achieve self-growth. Whether the role of psychological counselors can be fully and effectively played directly affects the quality of counseling results. In a sense, consultants are the soul of consulting activities. Individuals with problems in life, like people on this side of the river, want to reach the other side of the river, but there is neither a bridge nor a boat. The consultant's job is to help tourists build ferries or bridges. Then help tourists paddle with their own hands and walk with their own feet to reach the ideal shore. In this process, the consultant needs to play three roles: actor, audience and director. As an "actor", a consultant should put himself in the visitor's shoes and feel what the visitor thinks and feels, which is also a process of "affection" and full of emotional warmth; As an "audience", a consultant should be able to get out of the visitors' lives, look at the visitors' problems from an objective perspective, and not excessively intervene in the visitors' lives and emotions, which is a rational requirement for consultants. Counselors can only be "reasonable" if they are divorced from the life of visitors; As a director, consultants should give full play to their professional advantages and wisdom to promote the smooth progress of the whole process. Although the counselor and the visitor are equal in consultation, in the actual consultation process, the counselor plays an important role. His job is to participate in the life process of the visitor and guide the growth of the visitor. In this case, the growth of psychological counselors is particularly important. This growth includes two aspects: personal growth and professional growth of consultants. Although psychological counseling is a professional activity, the job of psychological counselors is to let the whole person participate in the counseling activities, and personal life experience, personal charm and personal mind will all participate in the counseling activities. Although personal participation is in a professional way. Therefore, the important premise of psychological counseling is the personal growth of psychological counselors. Egan talked about the top ten growth tasks facing human beings in his book Skills Training for Helpers. He said: We should always reflect on these growth tasks and then apply our growth experience to the role of helping others. In his view, these main personal growth tasks include the confirmation of personal ability and autonomy; Know your own values; Have a clear understanding of yourself; Confirm your ability to establish close relationships with others; Understand your attitude towards sex and the quality of love, marriage and family life; Know your professional ability and attitude towards occupation; Individuals' ability to expand their own lives and care for leisure life (Gerard Egan's Skills Training for Helpers, translated by Zheng, P 198 Shanghai Education Press, 1999). In Egan's view, it is very important to solve these personal growth problems. As a professional worker, the personal growth and career growth of psychological counselors are extremely important. After years of study and practice, the author thinks that the personal growth and professional growth of consultants include six main aspects respectively. Personal growth includes: growing awareness, broadening horizons, independence, initiative, self-awareness, self-love and self-confidence. Career growth mainly includes career navigation, mental cultivation, value expansion, professional growth, career orientation and self-management. The details are as follows. 1. 1 personal growth of psychological counselors ● Growth awareness In any industry, personal growth awareness is very important, especially for psychological counselors. In a sense, we can say that the biggest feature of the profession of psychological counselor is "the interaction between heart and heart, and life is accompanied by life". In this case, the consultant's sense of personal growth is the primary foundation, as Professor Lin Mengping of Hong Kong said: "As far as the consultant can go, the visitors can go." A good sense of personal growth first means that consultants are willing to grow rather than stagnate. It also means that consultants are willing to constantly self-examine, improve and develop under the inspiration of their profession, face up to all their positive and negative life experiences and constantly develop their positive strength. At the same time, they are willing to exchange knowledge and skills with their peers, open their experiences, open their hearts and not exclude dissidents. On the contrary, they can be enlightened and tolerant. ● Consultants with broad vision deal with all kinds of people in their lives. Although everyone's hearts are the same, the reason is the same. However, in real life scenes, people's attitudes, motivations, hobbies, cognitive styles, emotional experience patterns, and acting styles are all different, which can be described as a thousand people. Therefore, counselors are required to have a broad vision rather than a narrow mode of thinking, to stay indoors, and to be a rare and strange invisible person. Broad vision means that a counselor can have a broad mind and a high vision, but he can master people's psychology in detail. ● Independence means that the counselor is a mature social member with independent ideological system, emotional system and behavioral ability, and is an independent personality and individual. Steady, mature, rational and smart. When counselors fully demonstrate their independence, they not only convey strong personal information, the ability of individuals to control and dominate their own lives, and the ability to complete tasks independently, but also help others and society achieve personal goals when necessary to avoid excessive independence and dependence. ● A proactive, healthy and active life must be a dynamic and proactive life entity. In the process of accompanying visitors to eliminate their psychological troubles, on the one hand, consultants help visitors to tap their internal resources with their professional knowledge and skills, weaken or eliminate their troubles, and have a proactive life; At the same time, it also sets an example for tourists with its positive life, and conveys the life values of entering the WTO rather than hiding from the world to tourists. . ● Self-awareness For consultants, self-awareness and awareness are undoubtedly the premise of whether consulting work can be truly effective. As a professional helper, you need to have an objective and clear self-awareness of yourself first. This awareness is first about the individual as a member of society, and second about your professional ability as a professional helper. For the former, the consultant should have a good personal awareness and have a full and comprehensive understanding of himself. For the latter, you should know the advantages and disadvantages of your career, what kind of consulting service you are suitable for and what kind of service you are not suitable for. ● Self-love and self-confidence consultation or counseling, in a sense, is to try to help visitors find their self-confidence and love for themselves, others and life. As a special kind of assistance work, consultants need to have enough professional self-confidence to face all kinds of problems of visitors, and also need to have love for themselves based on self-confidence. These two points are very important for consultants and professional activities. On the one hand, counselors' self-love and self-confidence have a good influence on visitors. On the other hand, visitors' self-love and self-confidence are also reflected in their high sense of responsibility for visitors and their great treasure for their work. A self-respecting and confident consultant not only conveys the confidence of growth to visitors, but also holds the highest respect and respect for his profession. 1.2 Career growth of consultants ● Career navigation Like many professions, psychological counseling is first manifested as a professional activity, but at the same time it is a profession that cares about the well-being of human mind. As a famous American consultant said, it is something that makes us happy for a lifetime. Career navigation means that practitioners care more about the growth and happiness of visitors than the money that falls into their pockets. Not only get paid from work, but also get more happiness, joy and affirmation of self-worth. ● Psychological counseling, like many professional activities, requires high professionalism and professional skills. Like other professions, psychological counseling, as an expression of life and a profession that participates in the life course of visitors, is an essential quality of love, enthusiasm, personal charm, self-confidence, introspection, affinity and gratitude of psychological counselors. Here, we focus on gratitude. On the surface, the consultant's job is to help people and help visitors solve problems. From the perspective of identity and professionalism, there seems to be enough reason to be superior to others, but if we look at it from another angle, we may have completely different psychological feelings: visitors come to communicate with us with problems in their life and tell us all their secrets, which is not only an expectation for us, but also a kind of trust. We thank them for giving us the opportunity to spend the low point of life and this difficult journey with them, and also thank them for giving us the opportunity to grow up with them. ● Value expansion In many cases, psychological counseling is regarded as a value-neutral profession, and its essence is that we do not impose personal values on visitors when consulting them. In fact, it is impossible for us not to have our own values, but in the actual psychological counseling work, the personal values of psychological counselors play a role in one way or another. What we really want to do is not to be self-righteous, but to expand the value. For example, a counselor who insists that children should be filial to their parents or that premarital sex is immoral for whatever reason may face difficulties when facing visitors who accuse their parents or think premarital sex is entirely personal behavior. For consultants, the objects of their professional activities are all kinds of individuals, and everyone has his own unique perspective and unique way to solve problems. It is important and necessary to expand the value of consultants. The core of value expansion is to admit that individuals in life have the natural right to choose and own their own values. While adhering to their own values, consultants have a broader mind to understand and accept the diverse values of visitors. ● Career growth This is another extremely important aspect. Psychological counseling is a highly specialized professional help work. The career growth of consultants includes two main aspects: the growth of knowledge and the improvement of skills. On the side of knowledge growth, kung fu is not only in poetry, but also outside poetry. The knowledge structure of consultation should be as comprehensive and rich as possible, because people in life are complex. Not only the professional knowledge of psychology, but also the professional knowledge of philosophy, religion, art, literature, history, sociology, law, biological science and even unrelated natural science knowledge such as physics and chemistry. For example, the invariance of physical changes and chemical changes not only vividly understand the sense of distance between people; In terms of skills, the more skills consultants have, the greater the space for individuals to flexibly use theoretical knowledge. Among them, the good use of skills such as attention, listening, emotion and inquiry is helpful to the smooth development of consulting work. In consultation activities, the body posture, gestures and facial expressions of consultants convey subtle and beneficial information. Listening is a more important professional skill. Someone vividly described: The purpose of parents giving us two ears and one mouth is to let us listen more and talk less. Consultation is the art of listening, not speaking. Similarly, good feelings not only help us to express the counselor's subtle observation and understanding of their thoughts and feelings to visitors according to their experiences, behaviors and emotions. In addition, it helps to establish a good relationship between consultants and visitors. In fact, we can't really feel the feelings of the visitors, but learning to listen helps us better understand the visitors and get closer to them. Similarly, inquiry is also an important consulting skill. Inquiry is the search and confirmation of visitors' problems, and finding problems is the premise of solving them. ● Career-oriented psychological counseling is a highly professional activity, and professional working concepts, attitudes and methods should be strictly observed. Psychological counseling is different from chatting with friends, and it is also different from the aunt of the neighborhood Committee to solve her worries and difficulties. As a professional activity, we should also strictly follow the professional requirements in working methods: whether to charge, shift system or duty system, consultation duration, location selection, consultation room layout, lighting color selection and so on. Need to be carefully considered; Working style is also an important aspect. Folders, clothes, jewelry, trinkets and so on all convey valuable information to visitors. Another important issue that needs to be dealt with is psychological counseling as a professional activity and psychological counseling as a profession. The author believes that psychological counseling should be a noble professional help work in a professional form. As a professional activity, we pay knowledge, ability and sense of responsibility, and we reap the fruits and rewards of our work; As a career, we pay not only knowledge, ability and responsibility, but also become enthusiastic, intelligent and caring. We are grateful to face their problems with our visitors. ● The importance of self-management ability of self-management consultants is self-evident. It is not only the management of personal life, but also the management of professional activities. Personally, we should not only know how to design and establish realistic personal life and work goals, but also carry out effective personal career planning; Master the skills of solving and dealing with problems; Learn to make decisions. At work, we should also know how to set realistic work goals, know how to improve personal mental health, adjust our emotions, don't bring negative emotions into work, and don't be blind because of self-loss. Among them, the most important thing is that psychological counselors should know where their self-limitations are and where their abilities are. Not all people are suitable for consultation, and we don't have enough ability to consult all visitors. Understanding of self-limitation helps us to be responsible for our visitors and ourselves, and helps them grow better. As kavanagh said: A good psychological counselor should be a combination of personal qualities, academic knowledge and help skills.