I once knew a controlling man, Zhou Zhou. At first, because of the distance, I just thought that Zhou Zhou was an ordinary friend in my life and didn't pay special attention to it. But when I chat with Zhou Zhou at ordinary times, I get the impression that he is a gentle, intelligent and smooth person.
It wasn't until Zhou Zhou said that he would come to see me that I found out that he was a controlling person.
1. Whether others accept it or not, just go your own way.
Zhou Zhou said he would come to see me, but I was busy then. After asking him the time, I told him clearly: "I have no time to entertain you recently, and I am busy with my work." At the same time, I just made an appointment for research in those days. I hope you can delay the time. " He didn't say anything. I thought it was a future date.
Unexpectedly, I received a phone call from Zhou Zhou that morning, saying that he would come over. I was really speechless at that time, but I patiently told him, "I have a very important meeting today, and I need to refer to a dinner tonight. I don't have time to entertain you at all. Can we make an appointment next week?" Zhou Zhou said, "It doesn't matter. I just took a look at you. It won't take long. " I still refused him: "I hope you don't come, because I'm really pressed for time today and I really can't spare the time." Hanging up the phone, I thought he had changed his mind and went straight to work.
Two. Moral kidnapping control
In the afternoon, I received another call from Zhou Zhou. He said, "I have arrived. Please ask for leave to accompany me to dinner! " "I frowned at that time, and then said," I am at work now. As I told you before and this morning, I am very busy today and have no time to entertain you. Why did you come here? " Then he said, "Just to meet. As a friend, I have come a long way. Won't you entertain me? " "
After the phone call, I was thinking, how could Zhou Zhou be such a person? Obviously, he has refused, and he will come again. Too self-centered.
But out of courtesy, I finished the important work in my hand in a hurry, and asked someone for help that was not important, so I could push it. Then ask for leave to meet Zhou Zhou and arrange for him to stay in a hotel. I also had dinner with him and talked for a while.
Then go to the party.
Zhou Zhou sent me a lot of messages at the party, asking me when the party would end and so on. After the banquet, it is about eleven o'clock in the evening. I believe that whoever has worked hard all day and entertained all night will be particularly tired. That was my state at that time. But because Zhou Zhou provided too much information, I had to call Zhou Zhou again. Zhou Zhou said on the phone, I've been here for so long, and out of morality, you should treat me to a midnight snack.
Three. Control through mental abuse
No way, I had to take him to the snack city to eat snacks, during which he confessed to me, and I really looked puzzled. I told him not to joke about this, because there is nothing he likes in the chat.
Because I am very tired, the upper eyelid and the lower eyelid have been fighting. So after eating the midnight snack, I suggested taking a taxi back, but Zhou Zhou refused, saying that he could not sleep well after eating, so he might as well walk around first. At that time, I thought a man and a woman couldn't get along well in the middle of the night, so I tried to persuade him to take a taxi back, but he refused. A person is not good to him, so I have no choice but to accompany him back to his hotel.
On the way back to the snack city hotel, he tried to hold my hand many times, and then made various confessions. He seemed to have a lot of evidence, so I explicitly refused one by one. But he never gave up. He touched me many times. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I threatened him that you shouldn't pander to me in the street, and we can still be friends. If this happens again, I'll call you indecent. Don't force me because I'm not strong enough. I know all the shopkeepers in the whole street, and I can call them out to help at any time.
Maybe the threat worked, and he stopped catering, but he just refused to go back to the hotel. He insisted that I promise to be his girlfriend. I really want to swear in my heart. Can't he understand rejection? Why did I make it so clear that he didn't seem to understand? Why are you so suspicious?
Most of the people I usually meet are gentlemen, even if they are not gentlemen, I have never met such a difficult person. Even if you are tired and sleepy again, you should accept his mental pressure. I really want to leave him. But I want people to come all the way here. If something happens here, I will blame myself, so it is so deadlocked.
During this period, he exerted various pressures. For example, our small city is not as good as the big city, so it is better to follow him to the big city. He also said that he would take good care of me, and that my salary was low and my job had no future, and so on. Although I was tired, sleepy and in a trance, I resolutely refused. After an hour or two of stalemate, I finally sent him to the hotel.
It was past 3 am when I got home. I thought it was all over, but he was calling me. Out of politeness, I answered the phone and told him that I had arrived home safely. It's getting late. Go to bed early! Then I wanted to hang up, but he kept talking and asked me why I didn't agree with his pursuit. At that time, an evil spirit got into my heart, and I almost swore, but those words stopped when I swore. I am usually mild-tempered, and I haven't scolded anyone for more than ten years. I think there must be something wrong. Suppressing my dissatisfaction, I interrupted his conversation directly (usually I don't interrupt others casually). It's getting late. I have to work tomorrow. I hope you can understand. Okay？ Good night, bye. Then he hung up. Turn the phone to mute, then take a shower and sleep.
Get up at six o'clock in the morning to prepare breakfast. After breakfast, I heard that my mobile phone was vibrating all the time, so I picked it up without looking at who it was. Then I heard a lot of accusations, and finally asked me to bring him breakfast. I don't know if my brain is slow because I only slept for two or three hours, but I actually agreed.
Our company starts work at 8 o'clock, and my home needs to drive for half an hour from the company, so I have to leave before 7: 30, so I want to buy breakfast and deliver it to him in ten minutes. I asked him to come down and get it, so I delivered it. But when I arrived, he didn't wait for me at the gate of the hotel and asked me to take it to his room. But because it was almost time for me to go to work, I asked the front desk staff of the hotel to send it to me directly. The hotel front desk said they couldn't help the guests. But you can put it here and let the guests come down and get it themselves. So I put it directly in the designated location, took a photo and left a message for him to come down and get it himself. Then I went to work.
Later, I felt it was a good thing that I didn't send it to Zhou Zhou's room, because I was worried about going to work, otherwise I wouldn't know anything.
Just when I thought the meeting was over. But I got a call from him soon after I arrived at the company. Because the company has a regular meeting every morning, I didn't answer it I told him these things in a chat before, and I thought he would understand, but when I came back from a regular meeting, I saw 70 or 80 phone calls. I thought it was something important, but he scolded me like this when I answered the phone. I was really speechless.
He kept calling me and putting pressure on me until I blacked out all his contact information.
In the face of such a controlling friend, we'd better stick to our bottom line and let the other person know that you have your own principles. And stay away from such people. If this controlling person is your relative, you'd better let him see a psychologist and communicate with each other. Ask the other party to make changes.