Maybe you will find the reality cruel. Why do two people who obviously have no ending still have to arrange for them to meet and fall in love, and finally, after experiencing emotional baptism, they still have to separate?
However, as we all know, it is normal for love to be on and off. Many couples often start quarreling and tearing each other apart because of some small frictions and contradictions. If the two sides don't give in to each other, the good result will be a cold war, and the bad result will be a breakup.
Many boys will have psychological "morbid obstinacy" after breaking up, that is to say, because frustration is a person repeating the same behavior again and again, although the repetition is fruitless, but I still want to continue this behavior. Because of the mandatory nature of such behaviors, they often cannot be replaced by more appropriate responses.
Just like some "low-level girls" who pester each other after breaking up, the other person is already very resistant to you emotionally, but you still over-expose the sense of need, constantly put pressure on the other person, and constantly increase negative emotions, such as "I love you, I can't live without you", "Please don't leave me, how can I live without you" and so on, then the other person will appear "rebellious psychology" and be nice to you.
So at this time, no matter how much you ask the other person, he will not get back together with you, because once he agrees to get back together with you, it is equivalent to letting him deny his previous decision to break up. This is not just a boy's face or a lining problem. This is a stubborn belief, but also a sense of maintaining their authority.
Louis Hay once said a particularly interesting point, that is, how a person handles the process of breaking up actually reflects her true state in this love process.
Everything you don't like about him will be highlighted in the process of breaking up with you, so he won't agree to get back together or turn around on his own initiative, no matter how uncomfortable you are, because it's really bad that you can't hide from him, let alone get back together, right?
Love words scattered by the wind are hoarse after all, and people who go far will not go home. Everyone may understand the truth, but we just love his emotions and lose each other's heartache, so that we can't control our emotions and just want to find him like desperate efforts.
However, I have met a class of senior girls who are very calm about their painful feelings after breaking up. Even in the face of losing their lover, they are equally painful, but they just don't pester, don't show, and even turn around proudly, giving people the illusion of letting go, dare to love and hate.
The highest-ranking girl I have ever seen is Jacky Cheung's wife Luo Meiwei. They met in a movie "spoony you", and then began a romantic relationship, but it was not smooth sailing, and the relationship between stars was even more unpredictable.
A few years later, Luo Meiwei publicly admitted the fact of breaking up. Some people say that Luo Meiwei loved Jacky Cheung so much that he lost himself. Some people say that it is because of the pressure brought by Zhang Tianwang's rising career, but the specific reasons have never been made public. For people who eat melons, this speculation has only become a gossip topic after dinner.
It is such a tall girl. Although he broke up, Jacky Cheung didn't want to give up. I don't know whether it is because of Luo Meiwei's personality charm or her persistence in Jacky Cheung's low career. It took our heavenly king three years to finally recover Luo Meiwei. 1996, two people got married in London, England, and her heavenly sister-in-law was born.
So let's just say that in these three years, Jacky Cheung must be trying to save each other, and the process can be imagined. It must have taken a lot of time, energy and sincerity to win back the beauty. In this process, Jacky Cheung's various states must make Luo Meiwei feel that he loves her very much and is reluctant to part with her. Finally, I was really moved by the other party and became Mrs. Zhang.
Therefore, whether a person has you in his heart will gradually emerge in a period of time after breaking up. Even if the other person is not so obvious because of his feelings, he will show a trace in his daily life.
So today, let's talk about it After the breakup, what identification does the ex-boyfriend have that he still has you in his heart?
Always pay attention to your dynamics and keep all contact information. After the breakup, you changed from your current position to your predecessor. What is an ex? Your ex no longer has any intimate relationship with you. A good ex doesn't bother each other.
What is more regrettable than the pain of breaking up is losing all contact.
Looking for various reasons as an excuse is actually to contact you. In Qi Ba Shuo, Fu Seoul said, "A qualified predecessor should be separated by Yin and Yang like' death'. You buried him gracefully, and he buried you gracefully, occasionally going to the grave and floating around. "
But he didn't. Even after breaking up, he will find some excuses to talk to you from time to time or care about you. He will not only be caring and attentive every day, but also tentatively invite you to see your attitude.
Then I will share my daily life with you. I will tell you what happened today and what happened yesterday. Actually, I just want to hear more about your voice. I feel that you are still around on the phone.
They all say that "everyone is very happy when they say goodbye", but they always lose to themselves, and they can't help but be moved and take the initiative.
I often mention you in my circle of friends and ask for all kinds of information about you. I want to talk about a friend here. We are also friends of his predecessor. After they broke up, this friend often asked me, how is XXX recently? Does she still travel a lot now? Do you have a boyfriend now?
Then he dragged me out and listened to his pain. It's been months since I was lovelorn, but it's the same as lovelorn. Actually, it's very simple. The habit brought by "love inertia" did not disappear with the breakup, but he never adapted to the discomfort caused by the interruption of this "habit".
Then while suffering, I miss each other's private lives. This is typical. I can't accept the fact of breaking up at all. In the pain and yearning, I want to get back together but I am afraid that the other party will refuse, but I don't mention it, and my heart is wronged. In desperation, I can only spy on each other's life trends through my friends around me to see if I still have a chance.
People who love you will never allow themselves to let go of any window that can touch you.
Consciously or unintentionally, I think of the good times with you. In the chat after breaking up, I will consciously or unconsciously recall with you what interesting things you did in the past intimate relationship, and ask you if you remember?
Then just implant a "memory anchor" for you, substitute you into your past love, and pass on emotional value to you while recalling, in short, recall past happiness with you as much as possible.
The most touching thing is that you * * * have the same past. As long as there is an opportunity, I hope to bring you back to me with the beauty of the past.
"Heart anchor" is the most lethal weapon to defeat "emotional wall-building".
Constantly brushing the sense of existence proves that he has always been there and never gives up. Or where you hang out, he will go to the "squatting pit" and then direct and stage an encounter, which will create your emotional fluctuation curve.
Maybe some time after the breakup, he found that you were still the irreplaceable person, afraid of losing you and finding another lover, and then he constantly created opportunities to appear in your sight.
In fact, this kind of behavior is nothing more than conveying to you that although we broke up, we still have a lot of fate. Maybe this is destiny takes a hand.
Will be extremely sensitive to the opposite sex around you. If you hear a friend say that some opposite sex seems to be pursuing you, at this time, he will take the initiative to "question" you. Who is that man? Have you got a boyfriend? Send out a series of question marks and want you to answer them one by one.
The tone is full of jealousy. In the case I accepted, there was a couple who broke up falsely. They are particularly interesting. Others come to consult, but I always feel that they come to me to find each other's sense of existence.
The fact is that the three of us are in a group. In order to facilitate their emotional repair, one day a girl specially sent a circle of friends and a handsome Oba. The boy asked who that person was, and the girl said, this is my new love.
Then the boys tore up with the girls in the group. "A few days after we broke up, you had a new love, but the key is that you are not as handsome as me." The girl said, "What's wrong with not being as handsome as you? I like it." ...
The result is reconciliation anyway, so look, whether you are in my heart or not, once you have the opposite sex around you, he will unload his bottom.
When you are in love, the boy who really loves you will be narrow-minded and don't want you to contact the opposite sex too much. After breaking up, the more narrow-minded he is to you, the more he cares about you, and the more he can't let you go.
Insist on being your robot cat and be responsive. Although it is a breakup, as long as you have something, as long as he knows, it will definitely bear the brunt.
No matter through what channels, I know that you may encounter difficulties recently, or you are in a bad mood, and I will take the initiative to help you, because he knows that giving charcoal in the snow is more precious than icing on the cake.
Between his love for you and his desire to get back together with you, he can't hide your difficulties and confusion. No matter how difficult it is, he will try his best to help you, regardless of any return.
The person who has you in mind, after breaking up, the best pay is that when you need him, he is behind you.
In fact, we will meet many people in our life. Some people are born to let you learn to grow up, some are born to accompany you through a journey, some are born to meet you and give you happiness all your life, and some are born to leave special memories in your mind.
When our youth gradually fades away, many things are beyond recognition, and the people we love have become the biggest regret in our hearts. Instead of thanking this person for coming to your youth, take the initiative to take this step to save it. No matter what will happen in the future, at least we won't regret meeting and not being accompanied.
Psychological test: test the probability of getting back together after breaking up.
Have you ever thought about the possibility of getting back together after two people break up? This set of test questions helps you test the probability of getting back together after breaking up. Let's try it together!
1. Do you still have your predecessor's contact information in your mobile phone?
It's five points.
No, all 0 points have been deleted.
2. What is the reason why you broke up?
Due to objective reasons, the family disagreed with 1.
Long-distance love, no future 2 points.
TA thinks I have a bad temper and our personalities are incompatible. Three points
There is a third party involved in our relationship.
After our quarrel, no one would bow their heads and broke up in a rage.
I think TA has a bad temper, always complaining, and was dumped by TA for 6 points.
3. Among the following four statements, if you had to choose one statement that you agree with most, which one would you choose?
If a person loves another person, he should love all of TA, regardless of its advantages or disadvantages. Otherwise, it is not true love. He likes 2 points at most.
Although feelings are what you want, but it depends on people's efforts, the other person's love can also be controlled, as long as it can meet the other person's psychological needs, love can guide 4 points.
Twisted melons are not sweet. If TA doesn't want to get back together, I respect the idea of TA 1 minute.
The emotional world can never be equal, and those who want to get back together must not be stingy with their 6 points.
4. When you express one thing, you value it more.
The accuracy of verbal expression is 2 points.
Talking to the other person gives the other person a strong impression of 1.
You say a word, and everyone around you feels comfortable. 6 points
The ultimate goal that words can achieve is 4 points.
5. What do you think are your basic emotional characteristics?
Emotional, often unable to control his temper 0 points.
Self-control ability is strong, the surface is calm, but the inner mood fluctuates greatly, and it is difficult to calm down 2 points in case of contusion.
Everything is a cloud, and it is not easy to get angry by nature. My friend praised me for my good temper by six points.
Feelings are not slow and direct, but once they are unstable, they are easily excited and angry. Three points
6. Have you ever saved your ex?
I saved it, but it was rejected. I didn't save four points.
No, I don't know what the other person is thinking, so I dare not say 2 points.
I saved it several times, but the other party was very exclusive, Lahei, and I don't want to see my zero again.
I tried to talk, but the other party thought we were not suitable. Hope to find happiness 6 points.
7. When dealing with each other, you are more inclined.
Ideologically compatible, considerate and sensitive to each other's needs. Six points.
The experience of love, doing what you like together, as long as you are happy, is 1.
On the practical level, there must be a clear future plan 3 points.
8. Do you usually doubt or trust your ex?
I never doubted his loyalty to feelings.
I am often afraid that TA will be taken away by others and that TA will fall in love with others. TA said I was always worried about TA 1.
Because there is often the opposite sex around TA, I occasionally suspect that I am checking the post and glance at the address book for 2 points.
9. Do you usually make up automatically after quarreling?
We both have a bad temper. It's good to be angry.
I'll just wait for TA to take the initiative to admit 4 points.
I can't stand fighting all the time. I will take the initiative to sum up two points.
Cold violence for a long time, ignoring each other 1 point.
10. Are you the leader in getting along?
I have been very passive, waiting for the other party to pay for me, hoping that he will lead me to 5 points.
I am a well-deserved leader, I have to worry about everything, and I have a certain desire to control 1.
1 1 What does it matter? TA and parents?
Single parent, lack of maternal love or fatherly love 4 points
I have a normal relationship with my parents, and I don't often miss 2 points.
Get along well with parents, harmony and friendship 6 points.
The relationship is extremely poor and the inner trauma is great. 5 points
I have a good relationship with one of my parents, but the other is not very close. 3 points
12. Do you think TA is an avoidant attachment personality?
Yes, TA is 1.
No, TA rejects reorganization, but does not avoid contradictions. Five points.
I'm not sure. TA likes to avoid questions, but it is really 6 points.
13. Which of the following movies would you choose to watch?
Comedy category 5 points
2 points for terror category
Tragedy class 1 min
14. Do you often eat and drink without thinking after falling in love, and your heart is broken, which seriously affects your normal life?
Yes, it's too difficult. 5 points
Not at all. Losing love didn't hit me that hard.
Can endure will not cause too much impact on normal life 2 points.
15. How long have you broken up?
6 minutes a month
Three months and five minutes.
For more than three months, 3 points will be deducted within one year.
More than one year 1 min
16. Do you have a lot in common, such as the same circle of friends?
Yes, we are classmates/colleagues, and we have close friends. Six points.
Yes, but I won't contact you. 3 points for liking your friends.
No, we are completely from different circles, and it is difficult to have an intersection of 0 points after breaking up.
17. Did you have any intense irreconcilable conflicts when you broke up?
We had a fierce argument, so far there is no reconciliation 1 point.
We broke up peacefully. 3 points
18. Have you ever had a third party?
Never. We have an internal emotional problem. Six points.
I've had it before. Forgive TA for cheating by 5 points.
We got 1 point for cheating on TA.
I was caught cheating. 4 points
19. Have you ever planned to get married?
No, we're just dating.
I have plans to get married, and I have never seen my parents.
I have met my parents and have been interacting with them. I plan to get married at 6: 00.
20. When will you give up completely?
TA likes someone else, so I won't bother him again. 2 points
I won't give up. 6 points
I've done everything I want to say and do, and TA is still indifferent, so I'll give up 1 minute.
I'm Chen Yu, an emotional counselor, and I know more than you think. If you are emotionally confused, you can ask for a private letter or comment.