Stiff and inflexible, Confucius advocated, but he opposed this kind of rhetoric. However, being resolute and plain means not being able to speak, while being glib means being able to speak. However, when Confucius traveled in the Eastern Zhou countries, he always said a few words when he encountered difficulties. Obviously, he is a talkative man. Then why does he object to "rhetoric"?
I have been curious about this since middle school, but I have been afraid to ask. I finally got the answer recently.
The so-called "rhetoric" is just the time to change your speaking style in different environments. Because it is not easy to change, it looks high-sounding, and it is caught by people and becomes a negative example. In other words, what kind of people you meet and what kind of words you say, if unfortunately your motives are seen through, that is "rhetoric"; Speak appropriately and calmly, that is, "resolute and plain." There is no right or wrong language in the world, but you put it in the wrong place because you are not skilled enough.
Don't think that speaking is not important. The building materials and decoration are the same. Why are the houses in your hometown less expensive than those in Beijing? Because there are many people, resources and demands in Beijing (if your hometown is in Beijing, forget it). Look at the location, talk about the context. Learning to speak well can not only save you a lot of unnecessary trouble, but also make you more likable in the future. Oral English is a compulsory course, not taught in universities, but a necessity in life.
Zhou Zhou: What are you doing?
Fangfang: "I'm at work."
Zhou Zhou: "Oh! ~"
And then what? No, then what? ...
Zhou Zhou: "How is your work recently?"
Fangfang: "Well, it's not bad recently."
Zhou Zhou: "Oh! ~"
Well, no, that ... you don't want any serious accidents in the other company, so you can continue this topic.
You can't expect someone to answer your phone every time. If you have nothing to say, just change the subject. Don't dwell on one topic all the time.
Why do you think in spy movies, after agents have shot all the bullets in their guns, they either take out daggers or fight directly instead of hitting others on the head with barrels? Because that's useless at all, you have to learn to give up the stock to get a new increment.
Some people are really inarticulate and hard-hearted. You can explain the problem directly and leave immediately. But if this person is the object you care about, please don't continue to save the last topic, just choose another one.
Zhou Zhou: "I recently watched a very good movie, Prometheus, which is the prequel to The Opposite Sex. The special effects are really good. "
Fangfang: "Ah, horror movies, what a terrible look."
Zhou Zhou (immediately changing the subject): "On my way back, I saw a new butcher shop, and many people were waiting in line to buy it."
Fangfang (coming to spirit): "Shuan restaurant, is it delicious?" Where is it? "
When there is nothing to say, it is always a good choice to talk about food, which is why most people call themselves "foodies". It seems that they have never heard that people who love reading call themselves "scholars" and those who love traveling call themselves "travelers". Because no matter how isolated you are, you still need three meals a day.
What if the topic can't go on? Change the subject and talk about food.
Everyone has a fragile side, no one is perfect, and many people try their best to hide their defects in order to be perfect in front of others. But the most terrible thing is that many times you can't hide, especially if you have been in contact for a long time, the cost of deliberately hiding will be higher and higher. Moreover, it can hide ourselves, and we become nervous at any time. Once we are poked in the soft spot, we will lose face immediately.
Zhou Zhou is a graduate of three schools. After entering the company, I found that many colleagues graduated from famous universities. These people always like infighting, intentionally or unintentionally boasting about their famous school experiences. However, Zhou Zhou never participated in such topics. When he meets his colleagues and predecessors, he will laugh at himself: "I am a graduate of a miscellaneous university. I am a handyman here. If I have important work, I must learn from you. " Moreover, in normal times, he will also say some anecdotes about himself. "What bad luck today. When I first arrived at the station, I saw that the bus had just left. When I got to the next bus, I started to get stuck in traffic again. "
As a result, his colleagues around him have a good relationship with him, which has won the trust of others invisibly, because he gives the impression that he is realistic and easy-going.
Expose some unimportant weaknesses to each other, and others will think that this person is imperfect and uncontrollable, but will trust you more.
A friend of Fangfang's, who never went to school, started a small business with his father since childhood, and later became a famous entrepreneur with his diligence and hard work. As the saying goes, people are afraid of famous pigs and strong ones. After her friend has gained some fame, someone will always talk about him. In fact, he is lucky, but he has no skill. Some people say that he didn't even graduate from middle school, so he is a nouveau riche. Others say that he is actually a diaosi, and now he is a salted fish.
However, Fang Fang, a good friend, is not angry. She always turns her "diaosi counterattack" into the opening remarks for getting along with others. Over time, people began to wonder how he started from scratch, but instead asked him for his successful experience, and his popularity also expanded.
Sometimes, your weakest point can be a solid armor.
Zhou Zhou posted a selfie of herself on Weibo. As a result, someone left a message: "What the hell, so ugly, how dare you post photos?"
Zhou Zhou was furious when he saw it, so he replied, "You don't look at your own virtue, and you deserve to talk about me."
So the war began, and such cathartic scolding was illogical. Who stipulates that you can only send photos if you look good, and who stipulates that you can't comment on others if you don't look good? Those who criticize the government's inaction may also lead a chaotic life.
If you really want to quarrel with others, especially in real life, please don't attack each other's survival foothold.
If your wife likes shopping, it can be said that she spends a lot of money. Never say, "How do you make a wife? You don't know anything about thrift. "
A colleague screwed up a project because of a work mistake. You can say that he is not serious about his work, and never say, "After working for so many years, he still doesn't care about his work at all."
If you deprive others of their most fundamental foothold, you are pushing others to a cliff, and then you can't blame them for resisting you.
Remember, you are what you say. Your unkind criticism will leave a bad impression on people. This kind of talk will become a villain for a long time.
If there is no content and connotation, it will pile up too much in your heart and stink like garbage. What we can do is to get rid of the rubbish in our hearts and make ourselves fresh and happy, and then you can become more and more likable. Everything starts with talking.