Illustration | The stills in this article are selected from the movie "33 Days of Lovelorn Love"
As for why people want to get married, there has never been a conclusion that can satisfy everyone.
Some people think that getting married is to find someone who can rely on each other. Life is too hard. Only by comforting and supporting each other can we feel some comfort in the long loneliness.
Some people think that marriage is a continuation of life, a small person who is bound together for the collision of genes. When he has no children, he feels like a duckweed in the torrent of people. Only when he had children did he feel that he had taken root in this world.
Some people don't think so much, thinking that they should get married when they are old enough to get married.
Han Yu said that her first perception of love came from the sentence in the theme song "A Chinese Journey to the West" of the TV series "The Condor Heroes": "Through the world of mortals, I am sad and eager to wander with you intimately, piercing the desolation of green hills everywhere and letting your dreams fly with flowers."
Han Yu, 32, is a young woman in literature and art.
When I entered the university at the age of 20, I met my first love and my only boyfriend, Hui.
Hui is two years older than Han Yu. She has long hair and often appears at school parties with her guitar on her back.
Generally speaking, such boys are very popular with girls regardless of their family background. Especially for girls in their twenties, girls' expectations of love at this time are more than reality, and such men just cater to girls' expectations of love.
But what Han Yu didn't expect was that Hui Ge would take the initiative to confess to her.
In fact, first love is unfair to both women and men.
Most men have regrets in their first love. Faced with such regrets for many years, they often feel "Alas, how could I be so stupid?" .
Men are inexperienced when they fall in love for the first time, and women just have mature options in love requirements.
Unlike women, most women have a "prodigal son" in their first love. He can satisfy almost all women's desire for love, but he can also give you the deepest harm.
Han Yu thinks that Ah Hui is all his love, but in Ah Hui's eyes, Han Xiaoyu is just a passer-by on the road of life. Pursuit, acquisition and abandonment are three fixed steps.
Since then, Han Yu has closed the love channel, and after graduating from college, she studied for graduate students and doctors. She would rather watch some "dead" love novels and movies than get in touch with real love.
There has always been such a wrong cognition around us: "It is useless to go to school, and the ability is greater than the education."
Actually, going to school is really useful. There are a few people with high academic qualifications and low ability, and as long as the academic qualifications are high enough, the transition from "white" to "talent" is really fast. A high degree in education itself means a strong learning ability.
The monthly salary of Han Yu's first formal job was 1 10,000, and the following year was 30,000.
Many people think that a 32-year-old woman has no pursuers, but the reality is that as long as you are good enough, there will never be a shortage of pursuers around you.
Over the years, there have been people who want to introduce Han Yu to blind dates, and there have been better men chasing her, but they have all been rejected by her.
A beautiful girl has a handsome boyfriend, but there may be a greasy middle-aged uncle courting on WeChat. This man is not necessarily innocent, he may be caring and attentive to another girl in an invisible corner.
Everyone is playing, and the couple holding hands have more than one white rose and red rose in their hearts.
Facing marriage, Han Yu said: "As long as there is true love, I can accept that the man has no room and no bride price, but I don't think I can get married, because maybe true love doesn't exist, as if all feelings are in the invisible corner of others, either compromising or dirty."
Many people think that highly educated women will not yearn for love, because most of these girls are rational.
In fact, it doesn't matter whether a woman doesn't yearn for love and education. More like a kind of persistence, just like some fish will go downstream, and some fish will go upstream, and Han Yu is the latter.
Will women really not get married because of their obsession with love?
Han Yu put it this way: "I think love is what marriage should look like." Many times I have thought about whether to compromise or not. After all, many people choose a similar person for a lifetime in marriage, but I think this kind of marriage seems to be almost the same. It's not just love. That poor thing is totally unacceptable to me. "
After that, Han Yu was silent for a while and said, "Maybe I'm not old enough and tired enough. Maybe when I can't swim anymore, I will compromise. At that time, I should be able to get married soon, because it seems that it doesn't matter who I marry after I lose my obsession. "
If you ask a 20-year-old whether he believes in love, the result is probably yes.
If you ask a 30-year-old man if he believes in love, the result may be full of doubts.
The older you get, the more experiences you have, and the less you believe in love. It's not that these people have changed, but it's really hard to find an example that can make him swear: "I believe in love!" "
In fact, I think love exists, but it is covered with dust most of the time. The diligent and greasy uncle may be just self-love, and the careful girl may be just friendship.
If we look with too clear eyes, we can only see destruction.
Han Xiaoyu's eyes are too clear, but this choice is right.
Just as some men think that the bride price should not exist, as long as the woman wants the bride price, she must not get married.
Most of us are ordinary people and can't change the world, but we can also make our own choices.
Do you choose to go with the flow and stick to your original intention, or, as Han Xiao Yu said, stick to your original intention at first and then choose to compromise?
Those who are willing to get married will get married, those who are willing to be alone will be alone, and those who are willing to persist will persist. They won't be wronged if they don't want to be wronged, and they will compromise if they are willing to compromise. This is the most correct choice for marriage.
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