Women's extramarital affairs are more about seeking emotional comfort. The mind is derailed before the body, or the heart and the body leave together. Very few people have chaotic private lives and pursue sensory stimulation. So if women cheat, the divorce rate in this family is higher than that of men.
Men's extramarital affairs are mostly vanity and possessiveness, showing their ability and face. There is also a serious traditional thinking that it is normal for men to have sex outside. Very few are purely physiological reasons.
What should I do if I find my other half cheating?
I once contacted a lady who found out that her husband was having an affair. She didn't confront her husband when she learned that he was having an affair. On the contrary, she tried to find San Xiao's address at the first time. When she met him, she didn't say anything, just slapped him in the face. I was a little embarrassed when I described it, saying that I found my hand swollen when I got home. Go back to settle accounts with your husband after the fight!
After confronting the other half, denouncing the other half's despicable behavior, and then crying, most people will make the following decisions:
One is divorce, which is unforgivable.
No matter what happened before, the better the relationship before, the deeper the harm to the other half after finding a third party. This kind of divorce is the beginning of pain after divorce.
It was too painful to find that the sadness and anger at the beginning of the extramarital affair originated from the betrayal of the other half. I think divorce is the only way to solve the pain. The reality is that after divorce, the pain will not disappear, but will deepen.
In my previous article, I wrote that "I am a doctor, and many years later I became a patient with depression" and "seemingly happy marriage, but there are many crises behind it". This is the case with the hostess of these two articles.
Women are treated like princesses from love to marriage for at least 20 years. Men can not only win their own world outside, but also take good care of women at home, which is envied by relatives and friends. Therefore, when someone covets his own man, and then the man fidgets and is ready to move, they are all unconscious. When I found out, I changed my color and crossed the red line between men and women.
The doctor was deeply depressed because of her husband's infidelity, and another woman divorced because of her husband's extramarital affairs. The woman said that this injury may accompany her all her life, because the feelings of 30 years have infiltrated into the bone marrow, and it is really not easy to remove it. Every night, the cramp-like pain of gouging out meat swept through her whole body ... She was haggard and tortured, as if she were twenty years older at once.
This kind of hostess will recall the sweet time before, betray her own picture, and now she is lonely, which is the hardest thing. The length of the painful process varies from person to person, and some are accompanied by a lifetime.
The second category is to seek forgiveness and safeguard the family.
Although it is painful to face the betrayal of the other half, because of years of feelings, I don't want to divorce, I don't want my children to grow up in a single-parent family, or divorce will lose my current living standard. There are many such people, accounting for the majority, which is what I want to focus on.
After some people have problems in their marriage, they will learn from their mistakes and reflect on why and how to solve them. Finally, they reached an agreement and returned to their families. If you can't solve it yourself, seek relatives and friends, or emotional institutions to help you save your family. In short, it is the cheating party who stops his bad behavior and returns to the family.
I wrote it in the micro-headline before, and here is a brief description. The woman is 30 years old and the man is 35. She has two children. The youngest is only 2 years old and lives in the local upper-middle level. My husband cheated on his ex-girlfriend. When he found out that the latter woman forced him to divorce, the man never left. He knelt down to apologize and wrote a letter of guarantee. If there is a next time, he will leave home clean. This not only reflects the determination of the derailed man to return to the family, but also protects the rights and interests of the woman, which is a good result.
The other part is full of resentment against the cheating partner and mistress, but there is no effective measure.
Xiaosan was playing. She was tired of quarreling with her husband and had a fight. She also had a cold war. She has exhausted everything she can think of, and her husband is still the same, even worse. I have encountered such a case. Let's call her "Sister Zeng" here.
Sister Zeng, it's been seven years since I found out that my husband was cheating. My husband started his own business in other places. It used to be a very small company. Sister Zeng, do housework at home and study with the children. When the child found out that her husband was having an affair in high school, the child was in a critical period of study. After careful consideration, Zeng Jie decided to take the child to college before dealing with it.
When the children were admitted to the university and went abroad to study, Sister Zeng came to her husband's city. At this time, her husband and mistress have been together for 2 years. She had a quarrel with her husband and accused him of ingratitude. I wait on my in-laws and take care of my children at home, but you are raising a mistress outside. If I hadn't taken care of your parents and your mother to provide for their old age, would you still be able to work outside in peace these years? Without my careful care for my children, can children grow up healthily and have today's achievements? Husband knows that he is indefensible and responds silently. But after that, it's the same.
After quarreling for so many years, my heart is tired and my feelings are gone. Now my husband says that his personality is incompatible and he has nothing to say to me. I didn't feel guilty at first, so I naturally supported San Xiao. As for the company, he said that he owed a lot of foreign debts, and he didn't know how much it would cost if he divorced. I can't help it now. I want to cry without tears.
My heart was silent for a long time. Although my husband is hateful, Zeng Jie's behavior also makes me hate iron and not produce. I made a mistake from the beginning. Husband is working hard in the field, and you are at home. It is very undesirable to be separated for more than ten years. Although you work hard at home to serve your in-laws and take care of your children, the emptiness and loneliness of your husband after fatigue is realistic.
Starting a business at first may not be able to afford the expenses of a family, but with the improvement of her husband's business, you should take your children to her husband's city and work together, so that you can see each other's efforts, warm each other, rely on each other and increase emotional viscosity.
Secondly, I found that San Xiao didn't handle it in time, even if it was divorced, it was better than procrastination. The psychological implication of dragging a man is that you have accepted it, otherwise there is nothing you can do with me.
This is also the case. Your children have all been admitted to the university, and their children have all graduated. You haven't solved the problem between mistress and your husband. It makes your husband look down on you even more. Your husband thinks you have no choice but to go to mistress and quarrel with me. You must rely on me to support you. What else do you want? If you just keep making noise, all you get is your husband kicking you out mercilessly.
After discovering that the other half is cheating, it is most undesirable to take effective measures to change the status quo and have no courage to divorce.