Tang Wei said, will you write to people all the time?
The poet said: I had it when I was young, but now I don't have it.
Tang Wei said: Good.
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If we say that writing letters is a memorable thing that only exists in people's memory, after all, it has entrusted many people with unspeakable affection. Then, when I was a child, I was afraid to avoid writing letters. If we can do it, don't BB, BB, and never write!
I'm afraid that what I said will cause misunderstanding. It seems that all the girls in the class practice their writing skills by writing to me. Do you find yourself attractive?
Ahem, the answer is yes. As for me, I feel that my charm is only a little bit, and I am still very likable.
Let's start with charm. When I was a child, I felt that the person who could best interpret the word charm was Xiaoding's brother. Other children, including me, are concerned about what snacks have been bought in the store at the school gate and how Tetris scored the highest. Tonight, when the children's team in the first episode of Hidden Cave will fight Yin Zhong to the death, Brother Xiaoding has focused on cigarettes, girls and letters to girls.
The girl's name is ten thousand, and she is his girlfriend. She has been promoted to the first grade. Xiaoding's brother went to the fifth grade with us because he failed to repeat the grade. In the first few days of school, he was very worried. He is often seen sitting on the straw pile next to the wheat field, lighting a cigarette, acting as a night watchman in the wheat field, responsible for watching the beloved girl in the junior high school campus. In fact, there are only two acres of land, which is enough for him to see the fifth grade.
I asked Xiaoding's brother if he was dropped out of school because of poor grades.
Xiaoding said, you know a P, I am a person who will eventually do great things, and I have to have my own strength. A good man keeps his word, and a good man must have a brother. Have you seen the movie Young and Dangerous? Just like there are pheasants around Chen Haonan, there are too many bosses in my class, so I don't keep my word. I'd rather be the head of a chicken than the tail of a phoenix, and I voluntarily repeat the grade.
When I was a child, I had a dull energy, which was mainly reflected in praising what others said. Xiaoding's brother is two years older than me. He is broad, fat, powerful and thoughtful. He must have won a lot of praise. What a charming man he is. Very convincing. Besides, I was overwhelmed with excitement when I was called my brother for the first time. In the next few days, I saw everyone covered in blood, and I couldn't wait to go up and punch him, and then said, brother, I'll see you in the Jianghu.
In this way, he won my heart, feeling that knowing such a person, I will definitely shine with him.
But later, the problem was that Xiaoding's brother was madly in love with 10 thousand.
No matter how resolute a man is, he will always become indecisive and suffer from loss, so his light flashes like a little star, which makes me want to cry weakly.
His love for children made me give up any hope for the expansion of power.
02
In autumn, Xiaoding's brother looked at the plane leaves falling in the school, thinking thoughtfully. These leaves were like apples falling on Newton's head, which made him wake up and opened up new ideas. So he stopped being a catcher in the rye and began to write to Ivan.
To be precise, in most cases, he just glanced at the letter with his eyes. He said that my literary attainments are very high, so I am really responsible for writing to 10 thousand.
Damn it, I'm only in fifth grade. I hardly know 500 new words. What do you think of my literary attainments?
Even though I refused at first, as my brother, I still crustily skin of head and wrote.
The only materials I had at that time were Chinese textbooks and 300 Tang poems.
In the first stage of writing letters, I began to adapt ancient poems. At that time, we were all poor and planned pocket money every week, so I thought of the central idea of the first letter.
I'll write Nalan Xingde's Sauvignon Blanc first. Mountain is a journey, and water is a journey. My heart is gentle to me and I miss you more at night. When the wind changes and the snow changes, you can't smoke wholeheartedly. Do not buy cigarettes, save money!
Write another "Grass" by Bai Juyi. Yiyi likes taking a bath. Wash for an hour and the firewood will never burn out. They have grown taller in the spring breeze. Don't go to the bathhouse, save money!
Finally, I wrote Li Bai's Sitting Alone in Jingting Mountain. Birds fly high, lonely clouds go to leisure alone, and meet each other tirelessly, only Ding Dingwan. Ding Ding and Wan Wan, don't go to Jingting Mountain, don't travel, save money!
A few days after Xiaoding sent this letter, she received a reply of 10 thousand and ten dollars in the letter. Ten thousand was so happy that he praised Xiaoding's brother for reading poetry brilliantly. He also said that my junior high school living expenses are more than yours. This ten yuan will help you and buy you writing paper. Remember to write to me once a week.
Xiaoding's brother got ten thousand's approval, proudly gave birth to wind at his feet and ran to convey ten thousand's instructions.
On the one hand, through these letters, I feel that my literary attainments have mushroomed. On the other hand, the idea of writing a letter every week makes me despair.
After I spent my whole life studying and correcting most of my poems, I began to write the second stage of my creation.
I wrote a prose poem called "Magical You" to the effect that:
No drop of rich ink can take us to two o'clock in the morning like the color of your eyes.
No horse can take us to the boundless world like your outstanding charm.
Even if you live a mediocre life, no fence can stop me from coming to your life.
How great you are.
My heart is full of the beauty of the human soul.
Like a poem.
Take me to appreciate the ordinary meaning of the world.
Ordinary is me, the true meaning is you.
When I finished the second stage, I felt that my literary attainments had sprouted from a mushrooming state, and my self-confidence was extremely inflated, which was enough to break the space between my desk and this cramped classroom and even fill the Yarlung Zangbo Grand Canyon, the longest and deepest canyon in the world in the fourth grade Chinese textbook.
03
At that time, we lived in my uncle's house next to the school. There are seven or eight rooms in a two-story building, with ten children in each room and a big yard. In a sense, we are residents.
Xiaoding's brother is a troublesome boy. He often takes me to school from the fence in the backyard when my uncle inspects the house.
We just changed from a small cage to a big cage. Most of the time, we wandered around, moving from one classroom to another and secretly rummaging through girls' desks. When you are lucky, you can turn to the diary written by girls. Seeing girls' unique ideas, we sometimes exclaim and sometimes roll with laughter.
After a long time, I miss that time very much, just like in the movie Sunny Days, Yu Xia opened every strange door with various keys. We will put the messy table back and not do bad things. I believe this is a doomed encounter and witness. Girls' worries always make people look forward to it.
When we are tired, we lie on the table tennis table and look at the stars all over the sky.
One night, Xiaoding's brother made two barrels of instant noodles in the classroom and handed me one, saying that my girl read your letter and was very satisfied. This is for you to eat.
My literary attainments have brought me an intuitive return. I am very happy and can't wait to enjoy the big meal. Brother Xiaoding handed me another cigarette and said, The noodles are not ready yet. Let's have a cigarette first.
I took the cigarette and lay on the table tennis table like Xiaoding's brother. I smoked it. I was not good at studying, damn it, the ash fell into Lao Tzu's eyes. It hurts.
Xiaoding blew my eyes and said, be silly, you still have to play ash from time to time. My girl is smarter than you.
I asked Xiaoding's brother: Why do you call ten thousand elder sisters and girls?
After asking this sentence, I imitated Xiaoding's brother's tone in my mind and answered myself first. You know a p.
Sure enough, brother Xiaoding said, do you know a P? Have you seen the movie Young and Dangerous?
I said: you told me once last time, and I saw it. It's so exciting. If my mother hadn't asked me to go home and do my homework, I would have chopped people with two kitchen knives at home.
Xiaoding's elder brother said: what to cut, ignorance. I'm talking about love, love, you know? In the movie, when the little stutterer was tricked into taking off his clothes, Chen Haonan just said, "She is my girl, who dares to touch her!" ! Shit, you know, that tolerance, he is my idol, you only see his fighting, but I see his love.
I asked: What is love?
Xiaoding Ge said: Forget it, I know you don't understand.
The bright moon in the night sky is particularly beautiful and bright, but it is still not as good as the eyes of thirteen-year-old Xiaoding's brother when he said the word love.
But I am sober and ignorant, and I can't understand a word or two, so I have to bury myself in eating noodles, thinking that when I am half handsome as Xiaoding's brother, I can still eat such delicious instant noodles every day and talk to others about what love is.
Unexpectedly, after more than ten years, I didn't learn to smoke, but I ate instant noodles every day, and I understood that people who eat instant noodles don't have girlfriends.
04
Soon, Xiaoding's brother and I went to the first grade.
On the morning of the first semester, I squeezed into the crowd to pay the registration fee. I am two years younger than my peers. I am short and weak, but I just can't squeeze in. I gave up. I'd better find Xiaoding's brother to play billiards and come back at noon. I underestimated the IQ of others because everyone thought so. There were more children standing in the office when I came back. The child who was holding a large ice cube of orange ice water in the morning almost melted at the moment.
I suddenly had a bold idea, learning from Xiaoding's brother, and came up with a new idea by accident. Pretending to be lost, I ran to the dean's office and shouted, hey, pay the registration fee!
The director received me and asked me to write the registration materials. Finally, he asked me in fluent rural Mandarin: Do you have any money, little friend?
I heard it then. Do you have any cigarettes? Kid.
I remembered that Xiaoding's brother gave me a pack of cigarettes this morning and asked me to keep it for him, so I took it out readily: Yes, yes!
Conscience of heaven and earth, at that time, I thought it was normal for junior high school students to smoke, just like in high school, we simply thought that there were long girlfriends everywhere on the lawn of the university, and we could meet a love when we left the dormitory door.
At that moment, the air froze and it was extremely embarrassing. Seeing the director's delay in answering the phone and looking at me with strange eyes, I also asked, well, teacher, don't you smoke?
In fact, saying this is not directly related to writing letters, but it has laid the groundwork for my transfer to the second grade of junior high school.
In the first grade, I continued to write to Xiaoding's brother to Yiwan, which belongs to my third stage of creation. I hate writing letters at this stage, and I have no talent at all. On the one hand, Brother Xiaoding and Ten Thousand meet every day at this moment, and the content I believe is more in line with real life and less romantic. On the other hand, I just finished writing the materials in Jiang Lang.
Fortunately, after half a year, Xiaoding's brother asked me to write him the last farewell letter. While I am relieved, I am also puzzled. How did I break up so well? That day in the billiard room, I asked why.
Xiaoding lit a cigarette, put it on the table, and said while waving a billiard cue: I thought that 10,000 would encounter some major setbacks in life and death, such as stuttering and being kidnapped, and I would have a chance to save her between fire and water. Yell, I'm her girl, no, her girl is me, that's not right ... In short, this is Chen Haonan's feeling.
I pandered and said, it seems that you really love Sister Wan.
Xiaoding said disdainfully: What idioms are there? There are twists and turns. Yes, what I want to say is that there are twists and turns. This life is wonderful, and so is she. ......
I know Xiao Dingge needs a derogatory term at this time to correspond to the twists and turns of Hengshan Mountain. It took half a year to think of a neutral word. I said, you want to say that you are right.
Brother Xiaoding thought about it and said, something like that. I went to her house last year, and her parents were not at home. I pushed her down on the bed, kissed her and touched her, but she pushed me away and actually got up to help her mother choose food, saying that she ordered it before going out. Choose a dish, damn it! ! ! How can my girl do such a quiet thing? At that moment, I lost interest in her.
I couldn't understand Xiaoding's advanced concept of love at that time. I focused my interest on what happened after he knocked down his 10 thousand sister. I asked: What's it like to touch a girl?
Xiaoding brother holding a cigarette in front of my eyes strokes:
The boy's body is this part of the rolled tobacco, which is very rough, while the girl's body is a cigarette butt, which is soft and smooth and can be kissed in her mouth. See?
I nodded with an epiphany. This metaphor is the most romantic metaphor I have ever heard about girls' bodies in the next decade.
I then asked: What else did you do?
Xiaoding's brother said, Touch her chest.
I'm surprised: is it special?
Xiaoding's brother threw a billiards. White said, Touch it yourself.
Me: ......
I wrote my resignation letter directly, and there is no room for redemption.
The more affectionate we once said together, the more ruthless we said after breaking up. How did this happen? It happened that I wrote them all.
I suddenly feel bored writing letters, and I will never write again.
06
In the second half of senior one, I met my favorite girl Xiao Dan and corresponded with her for half a year.
In fact, when I was in junior high school, I liked many people. Many girls in this world will probably never know in their lives. I used to like them for a day, a week and a month. The kind of lust that I like to distinguish between men and women does not belong to the category of love, because I didn't graduate from high school and didn't even pull a girl's hand, let alone junior high school.
Here's the thing.
During that time, my brother Xiaoding and I were obsessed with playing cards. After the dead of night, we got up quietly and chatted while playing cards. All men talk about is games and girls.
Brother Xiaoding asked me: Chu Liao, which girl do you think is beautiful in our grade?
The index I reached: It's hard to say. For example, Zhou Dan, Wang Hongxia and Ni Qian are all beautiful.
That day, I listed the names of more than a dozen people, including Xiao Dan.
The next day, it spread to the class-I had a crush on more than a dozen girls in my grade.
I can't laugh or cry, and their understanding really amazes me.
One night not long after, I wandered around the playground, doing nothing. A girl in the next class sent me a letter and gave me an unpredictable smile.
The letter was folded into the shape of love. I haven't opened it for several minutes. Finally, I tore it up and put it back together. The letter said that I heard that you like me. If so, please write back to me. Xiao Dan.
My first reaction was, shit, some little bitch is spreading rumors everywhere.
From that day on, I wrote to her with a pen named Xinyi (because I like Conan very much). She was the first girl to write to me, so I cherish these letters, which is like Zheng's fairy tale king.
According to news reports, Zheng, the king of fairy tales, bought the 10 apartment in Beijing in the late 1980s and early 1990s, just to install letters for young readers. Now these houses have become school districts, which have increased by dozens of times.
I don't have that much money with me, just enough to buy a new box. I put a dozen thick letters at the bottom of the box and kept them carefully.
(barrage: Who said I would never write again? )
Me: OK, then correct it. I will never write for others again.
During the sports meeting, Xiao Dan wrote to me and drew some stick figures to encourage me. The content is a handsome and aggressive baby (talking about me) sprinting all the way to the finish line with open arms.
I was angry. I think she drew me at the finish line, which gave me pressure invisibly, and even thought it was a kind of irony, which led me to give up taking part in the competition.
I wrote back to her in retaliation. The contents of the letter are all written in pinyin. Fuck you, translate slowly, hahaha.
Later, her letters were also changed to pinyin, which changed our communication cycle from three letters a week to one, because a letter is too difficult to read.
We are like two children, but we are too young after all. I don't know what a girl is thinking. However, it was the days when Xiao Dan wrote to me that dispelled the shadow left by writing to Xiaoding's brother and gave me a hint of the beauty of sending brocade books in the clouds.
07
When I was in Grade Two, I was caught playing cards many times, and I was beaten many times by my school informed criticism. I think this has an indelible relationship with the incident of handing out cigarettes at the beginning of school. When they were caught, everyone quickly got down and pretended to be asleep. Why do they always arrest me? Don't they know that rain and dew are wet?
I am desperate. Even more desperate, when class was over at night, my father beat me up in front of all the teachers and students.
Xiao Dan wrote to comfort me, and I asked her sternly, is this sarcasm again? The severity here is mainly reflected in the strength I used when writing, too hard, which penetrated the back of the paper.
Alas, my sensitive heart at that time was embarrassed to continue writing.
Don't think too much, just care. Xiao Dan answered me very grievance.
I said, I want you to take care of it. I will be transferred to the city in the second half of the year, and I may never see you again.
It's almost as difficult to meet friends. As for the morning star and the evening star, I haven't seen Xiao Dan for more than ten years.
Maybe we won't meet again. The wind is light and the clouds are light. Young people don't know how to say goodbye, but they easily say this concept, but they don't know it. We must say goodbye harder and say more, which may be the last sentence. Take a look, or it may be the last one.
I can also understand our youth. At that time, we felt that parting was to meet new people and people who were destined to meet, so this joy was enough to offset the sadness of leaving the old people.
However, after more than ten years, why do I still feel sad? How hard it is to hide.
08
Unexpectedly, I won the third place in the final exam of junior two. The dean refused to let me go for the sake of the entrance examination rate. In the process of discussing with his father, he suggested: how about canceling the punishment for children?
Dad refused and insisted that I transfer. Before transferring to another school, he also donated 2000 yuan to the school as the fund for the sports meeting.
In a blink of an eye, the image of a teacher who requires students to obey the rules and discipline and exercise integrity collapsed in my young mind.
My Lord, your life is really complicated and terrible.
09
After I entered high school, Xiao Dan wrote me a letter, which I received, but I didn't have the courage to write again, so I never replied.
Today, more than ten years later, remembering Xiaoding's brother and Xiao Dan is like reading a fragmented novel. The story is scattered in every yellowed letter. You can't find every word you write.
Because all the letters are lost.
That day, when my mother was cleaning my room, I found a letter written by Xiao Dan. I am ashamed to hide everywhere, and I can't find it myself. Just like those years, I can hardly remember them, so my story about Xiao Dan is far less than that of Xiaoding's brother.
10
Finally, after more than ten years, I understood a very important thing.
I want to tell my old brother Xiaoding.
At first, I was like you.
I think, when you love someone very much, you will hope that she will have a tortuous life in the future, and then have the opportunity to be her hero, mute Chen Haonan, and the immortal the Monkey King of Xia Zi, to win the mutual affection of sacrificing for her and save her in from the mire.
Finally, I found that this was not the case.
I think, when you love someone very much, you don't want to be Chen Haonan with a machete for the little mute, and you don't want to be the Monkey King who wears gold and silver and walks around in clouds to marry Xia Zi, because you really want her to stay away from all the noise and conspiracy and be quiet all her life.
If I'm lucky, I just want to be an ordinary person around her and raise a dog together. If I am unlucky, I will be a dog and help her find the ordinary person.
2017 April 19