A good marriage is not addition, but multiplication. Only when husband and wife work together can happiness come quietly. Even if one partner works hard, as long as the other half is zero, the result of marriage will always be zero.
Mr. Miyazaki Hayao said, "When the person accompanying you wants to get off the bus, wave goodbye even if you don't give up."
In marriage, what everyone longs for is not to be chosen, but to be loved, not because of money, not because of external conditions, but because when you love me, I happen to be moved by your heart.
Together, then cherish, every love is a kind of fate, if you don't love divorce, then learn to let go. Remember not to hurt each other in the emotional world. Those couples who can finally be happy will not experience smooth love, at least they have had the urge to divorce and strangle each other countless times. Divorce is not the key to our inner freedom. If divorce only makes you forget the unpleasant past, then even if you remarry, you will encounter the same contradictions and pains.
The author has repeatedly stressed that it is human nature to love money, you can love money, and you can pursue your material dreams in marriage, but heartfelt feelings must be an important weight in leading marriage. Some people may not believe it. The following case will illustrate this point.
Xiao Shu, 23, has been married for a month and a half. She was supposed to be sweeter than the newlywed, but she made a fool of herself on the third day of her marriage. Now, both her husband's family and her mother's family point the moral finger at her.
Her husband Hui is an ordinary salesman. He works hard. He has always had a good reputation at home and in the company. Since ancient times, children from poor families have been in charge. When it comes to Hui's experience, his eyes are full of tears.
His biological father died of illness when he was 9 years old. In his memory, the only impression his biological father left him was cruelty. My father was in a bad spirit and developed a bad habit of gambling and drinking when he was young. At that time, Ah Hui's family conditions were very good, and it was inevitable that people with money would have inert thoughts. Father did nothing all day, and after a few years, the situation at home was terrible. Every time I came home drunk, Hui and my mom couldn't escape my dad's beating, which caused my mom to limp later. As long as I see this scene, my father's once ferocious appearance will emerge in my mind.
Maybe it's karma. A few years later, my father died of liver cancer.
In order to support Hui, her mother chose to remarry three years later, that is, Hui's current father. Her father (stepfather) is a taciturn and kind-hearted elder. Her only daughter has been married for a long time, but now she doesn't talk to each other. After her mother remarried, Hui finally saw the long-lost happiness from her mother. Her mother no longer needs to live in fear and anxiety. Her father takes care of her like a child and occasionally quarrels, but the word "red face" has never been in the dictionary of parents' marriage. When my mother is sick, my father will complain endlessly. When my mother can't do heavy work, my father is always the first to rush over.
Mutual appreciation is not an exaggeration to describe parents' marriage, but it didn't last long. This time last year, my mother had advanced pancreatic cancer, and her mother died in less than four months. My father once cried to cataract.
At that time, in order to treat his mother, his father took out1.20 thousand's premarital savings, and his mother insisted on not treating him, hoping to leave the saved money to him for his old age. Later, his father took Ah Hui as his own son and gave the extra 50,000 yuan to Ah Hui one by one.
Hui never talks about his feelings for his father, but hides them in his heart. Until some time ago, Hui's love for his father finally showed.
Hui and Xiao Shu got married on October 1st this year. The wedding room is a two-bedroom apartment purchased by the Hui family before marriage. The house is only 78 square meters, which is not very big but barely enough. Xiao Shu grew up in a superior family environment, so it's okay for a woman to be melodramatic, but she can't be wicked.
Because the house is small, Xiao Shu is even worried that he will meet his father-in-law when he goes to the toilet. On the third day of marriage, my father-in-law forgot to flush the toilet. In fact, this is just a small matter. There is no need to surf the internet. Xiao Shu began to make a fuss about it. That night, she said these words to her husband Hui.
"Husband, our family is so big. After we have children, the family is really crowded. Anyway, my dad has a house in his hometown. Or let him go back to his hometown to live. Why don't we give some living expenses every month? " Xiao Shu said.
Hui has always respected his father, and his wife's words attracted his dissatisfaction: "No, he is an old man and in poor health. Who will take care of him when he returns to his hometown? " Is it great to have money? Money can't solve everything! "
In fact, Xiao Shu's request is not too much, but from an emotional point of view, she doesn't understand that in her parents' marriage, the image of her father has always inspired Ah Hui. But in Xiao Shu's eyes, only her own marriage, her in-laws have nothing to do with her, so she won't consider so much.
"Husband, how could you? He's not your real father. Is it necessary to be so serious? Why do men change when they get married? Before marriage, you did everything to me, and you said you would listen to me. After marriage, you refused to do so. Am I just doing it for myself? If you don't promise me, I have offended your father. Don't blame me. "
Because of such a thing, Xiao Shu and Hui quarreled for nearly two hours. When his father learned all this, he packed his bags and left home that night. Unable to bear it, Hui finally gave a little rest because his father ran away from home. Xiao Shu felt how wronged he was, cried and asked for a divorce, and decisively returned to her family and told her all the ins and outs.
Is marriage really that simple? All women who like to run to their parents' house at the slightest sign of trouble actually don't know what husband and wife are. A quarrel is a quarrel. Couples who have problems between husband and wife and know how to maintain their marriage, no matter what contradictions they have, will first calmly reflect and try to be tolerant, instead of letting their temper expand the situation indefinitely.
Hui feels that he is not wrong. He arrived at Xiao Shu's home early the next morning. As soon as he entered the door, my uncle sat angrily in the living room, as if waiting for Hui's statement.
Hui said on the spot, "Brother, I hit your sister. That's right! I am a big man, but I want to ask today, should we abandon the people we love as men? Your sister insisted on getting rid of my father. As the son of my family, I don't want to lose my conscience. "
Big Brother directly said, "Brother-in-law, you are right. This kind of woman doesn't like it. Although she is my sister, it is my parents' fault to help me or not. I have been used to her since I was a child. I only know how to enjoy the love of others, and I never know how to think about others. "
This is the end of the matter. I really can't tell who is right and who is wrong. Is it wrong for married women to want a husband-and-wife world? From another perspective, isn't this a deep love for Hui? There is no right or wrong feeling, but the eldest brother in the article is really a sensible person. His views on feelings and marriage tell us that at any time, the tolerance and understanding between husband and wife are the premise of strong feelings for each other.
Some things are involuntary, and some people have to. Everyone will feel helpless in one way or another in marriage. Not all emotional experiences will be smooth sailing. Only when husband and wife move forward step by step, compromise and tolerate each other can they forge ahead. If everyone hangs the concept of self-will on his chest, with only interests in his eyes and only self in his heart, who will really walk into your heart?