Parents should have a normal heart, because giving birth to a child is the most common thing. To have a normal mind is to let children be themselves happily and become "normal people", that is, people who have a peaceful mind and can live in harmony with others. If you want to train your child to be a great man, the most likely result is that the child is mediocre and even ordinary people can't do it well; And if you train your child according to the normal mode, maybe after a long or short experience, your child can really become a "character". Don't impose your wishes on your children, and don't let them realize your original wishes. Leave a space for children to grow freely and let them fully develop themselves.
(2) Lose the abnormal heart and find a normal heart.
It is a common problem for parents to look at their children with abnormal eyes. As long as you feel that your child is not as good as other children, you suspect that there is something wrong with your child. When parents learn to look at their children with a normal eye and a developmental eye, they will understand their children's psychology, forgive their mistakes and see their own advantages. Don't compare their children with others' children, but trust their children. Parents nowadays are more worried about their children and less surprised. The reason is that they don't appreciate their children and always stare at other people's children. Below, I will tell a case of appreciating children:
Meeting of mothers, parents and teachers
A mother attended a parent-teacher conference for the first time. The kindergarten teacher said, "Your son has ADHD and can't sit on the bench for three minutes." On the way home, her son asked her what the teacher said. Her nose hurts, and she almost cried. But she still told her son: "The teacher praised you, saying that the baby can't sit on the bench for one minute, and now he can sit for three minutes." Other parents envy their mother because only the baby has improved in the class. "That night, her son ate two bowls of rice for the first time and didn't let her feed.
At the second parent-teacher meeting, the teacher said, "Among the 50 students in the class, your son ranked 59th in this math exam. We suspect that he is mentally retarded. You'd better take him to the hospital for examination. " On the way back, she shed tears. However, when she came home and saw her frightened son, she cheered up and said, "The teacher is full of confidence in you. He said, you are not a stupid child. As long as you put your heart into it, you will surpass your deskmate. " When she said this, she found her son's dim eyes suddenly filled with light, and his depressed face suddenly stretched out. The next day, my son went to school earlier than usual.
The child went to junior high school and held another parent-teacher meeting. The teacher told her: "according to your son's current grades, it is a bit dangerous to enter a key middle school." She walked out of school in surprise. She told her son, "The class teacher is very satisfied with you. He said that as long as you work hard, you will hopefully be admitted to a key middle school. "
After graduating from high school, my son handed her an express that read "Tsinghua University Admissions Office" and cried and said, "Mom, I always knew that I was not a smart kid, it was you ..." At this time, she was sad and happy, and could no longer hold back the tears that had condensed in her heart for more than ten years, so she let it hit the envelope in her hand.
(3) Lose vanity and find a sense of responsibility.
Parents nowadays are so impatient with their children because of vanity. Your child didn't do well in the exam, which made you lose face and criticized; Children who have made some achievements or been admitted to a good school add luster to you, so they show off everywhere. It is vanity and irresponsibility to associate everything about children with their own honor. Many parents regard their children as tools. In order to realize their unfulfilled wishes, they blindly demand and force their children and don't respect them. This is a kind of destruction to their hearts, which has led to many tragedies. Xu Li, a middle school student in Jinhua, Zhejiang, was originally a good student in her class. He didn't come out top in an exam. His mother scolded him many times, and even called him worthless, not as good as other students. He can't stand this long-term psychological torture. After being scolded by his mother once, he killed her while she was unprepared.
(4) Lose fear and find protection.
Some parents are afraid of not studying well when they have boys, and they are afraid of being victimized when they have girls. They worry about their children every day. But no one can follow children all day, so we should cultivate children's brave and strong character and teach them the common sense of self-protection. A happy and harmonious family has a happy and harmonious living atmosphere, which is created by happy people. Family harmony calls for "three good". Namely:
1, be kind to yourself and keep a good attitude. If you want your children to have a happy life, you must have a happy life first. The first lesson parents should teach their children is to "like themselves" and let them like everything about themselves, including their looks. A person with a good attitude will live a natural and unrestrained life and children will like him; Parents who write all their troubles on their faces, no child wants to get close.
2. Be kind to children and be their good friends. Parents should accept their children with a broad mind and be considerate of them. Respect children and never trample on their dignity. Children learn to be human and learn self-esteem in the respect of adults; If a child lives in humiliation, he will feel inferior.
3. Be kind to your family and play a good role. If you can't be kind to your family, you are not worthy of marriage; If you can't be kind to your children, you are not worthy to be a parent; If you can't be kind to the elderly, you are not worthy to be a child.
Now I give my parents and children in your a priceless gift-three sentences of a happy life. That is, when facing life, smile and say, "Great!" " ; In the face of difficulties, we should bravely say, "I can do it!" " " ; When getting along with people, take the initiative to say, "Do you have any difficulties? I will help you! "These three sentences will play a positive role in cultivating children's good mentality. Facing the opportunities and challenges in the new century, the key to one's success lies in courage. In the new competition, the word "I can do it" will show its unique charm.
A positive person, a mentally healthy person and a successful person all have such experiences. You will feel very happy when you help others. The more you help others, the happier you will be. Happiness is the highest state of life. As parents and teachers, we should sow bright seeds for our children, let them sprout wisdom, bloom ideal flowers and bear happy fruits, and regard happiness as the ultimate goal of life.
2/kloc-Today in the 20th century, we should be smart parents. We advocate being smart parents in family education, aiming at improving parents' ability to distinguish, judge and creatively solve problems. Make parents' good wishes have a positive educational influence and function on children, and make parents' good intentions rewarded; Let parents enjoy happiness in the process of educating their children. I often hear some parents say that children's education is becoming my heart disease and I don't know what to do. A father once said to me: Everything is "long" good, but parents are not good.
As wise parents, we should be good at integrating rational education, love and beauty through words and deeds, pouring them into the process of children's growth, guiding children to do things wisely and sensibly, letting children realize the influence of love and beauty, paying attention to giving children full play to their own space, giving children full play to their imagination and expressiveness, and giving them confidence, believing that there are only individual differences between children. There is no distinction between good and bad. Children's dreams are regarded as admirable ambitions and dreams that can be realized through hard work. Encourage children to try boldly. As long as the children work hard, parents will say "very good, very good". Because children only have confidence in themselves, adults can leap in infinite space. If a person doesn't even believe in his own ability, how can he push himself with the help of others?
As smart parents, it is important to guide and illuminate their children's lost way, give them timely help when they need it, and make them feel that their parents are the people they trust most, the people who can understand them best and the psychological friends. Parents and they are just different in age, but they are equal in status and have the same spirit. For children, parents are not only protectors and caregivers, but also a living person, an example and hero they can see and touch.
For this reason, smart parents attach great importance to their own image and set an example. They believe that children must be educated and enjoy their innocence when they need it. When they have children, they must enjoy the responsibility and happiness of being parents. Many successful parents spend some time playing, talking and communicating with their children. They think this is the most important part of family life.
However, in real life, some parents are busy with their own careers and rarely communicate with their children. Others are not good at communicating with children. They often ask questions and reprimand people while eating, which makes the atmosphere very unpleasant, makes the children angry, eats badly, and finally ends in discord. Especially the only child, the family lacks peers. They often feel lonely and don't want to tell their parents what they think. A questionnaire survey of 500 middle school students shows that 44.5% students think that their parents don't understand their psychological characteristics. They said that their parents' ideas were very different from ours. They don't like what we wear or what we say and sing. They think we are bad and make us unwilling to tell our parents anything.
We must admit that there is an objective reality of "generation gap" between children and parents, and there is indeed "difference" between the two generations. Otherwise, how can it be "two generations"? However, the "generation gap" is not insurmountable, and the "difference" is not insurmountable. This requires the wisdom of parents, through the exchange and communication with children's wisdom, to achieve mutual recognition and understanding, and education based on this can play a positive role.