Helper: There is a classmate in the class who is not attentive in class because of his work. It may be that the relationship between the child's parents is not harmonious and the relationship between the child's mother and grandmother is not harmonious. The child's parents have a low level of education. As a teacher, I want to help the child, but I just don't know how.
Counselor: Do you want to help this child who is inattentive in class? Do you think the child's inattention is due to the child's family problems?
Helper: Yes, I want to help this child. My intuition is the child's family problems.
Counselor: How do you know it is caused by the child's family problems?
Helper: I communicated with my child's mother WeChat twice, and the child's mother told me.
Consultant: This question is really difficult. Because the child's family has problems, it is difficult for him to solve them. You can reflect this situation to the school and ask the school leaders to help solve it. How does the child get along with his classmates except for his inattention? Does the child have any good friends?
Helper: Can children get along with classmates? Have a close friend. I just feel that this child's family is too stubborn and his parents are ill-bred. This situation cannot be changed at all.
Consultant: Are you passing the buck? You think the child's family is not good. What did you do? There is nothing wrong with the child. You should take the last child as the first positive number. You can change your child's seat, ignore the child's shortcomings, find the sunny side of your child, start with your child, and adjust your thinking instead of changing your child's family. Have you ever wondered if you are wrong?
Help-seeker: children will not praise, and they will start to be naughty in class as soon as they praise.
Counselor: Naughty is a child's nature. The classrooms in China are too big, which limits children's activity space. Unlike foreign classrooms, there is a lot of space. Students can take any posture and even walk to the teacher's podium to listen to the class. As an educator, you should study again and improve yourself, and you can't bind your child's nature.
Helper: Mm-hmm.
Consultant: Do you have any other puzzles?
Helper: No, thanks.
In the above consulting case,
First, let the participating audience say what they have heard. How do you feel? Take turns to express their views.
Participants: I don't know the relationship between them, and it doesn't feel like consultation, like two people are chatting or discussing something;
The counselor's positive guidance is very good;
I heard that the helper did not solve his own confusion;
It prevents consultants from giving advice directly to helpers;
Asking in a hurry did not give the helper any time to think;
I feel the sincerity of the consultant, but I only see that the consultant has been giving advice to those who ask for help.
Too many problems can't be solved by one consultation, and are there any other problems that can't be solved in the end?
We should look at the problem from another angle, instead of giving them too much advice based on their own shortcomings in dealing with the problem.
Second, let the help-seekers answer what is most comfortable and what is most uncomfortable in this simulated consultation.
Helper: I feel most comfortable when the counselor says that my confusion is really a difficult problem and thinks that the counselor knows me very well. The consultant said that I was shirking my responsibility, and I felt the most uncomfortable, because I had been teaching 18 years, and I felt that I was still very responsible. I don't think I'm passing the buck.
Third, consult experts' suggestions.
As a psychological counselor, in the process of consultation, you must take your time and don't worry too much.
Building relationships and keeping each other warm is the most important thing. Only in a warm and safe environment can the helper open his heart.
Don't always think that you are right and know too much, and always want to give advice to professionals from a non-professional perspective;
As consultants, what we should cultivate is feeling, listening at most, and listening to the questions of the helpers completely;
Counselors are most comfortable when they are in love. Only when the relationship with the helper is closer and the trust relationship is established is it the right time to give advice to the helper. Remember, nothing is the counselor's own.
The above is the simulation in the process of consultation, and it is also a case analysis of new psychological counselors. If you have any better suggestions, please discuss them in the comments section.