As the main body of social activities, we human beings actively or passively participate in this process all the time. Whether going to work, studying on campus, or taking care of children at home, it will inevitably produce emotions similar to carbon dioxide, and how to face this negative environment correctly, effectively control, reasonably absorb and actively resolve it is undoubtedly worth our trying and practice.
In a special coach training camp, many students explore every day and set an example for everyone.
First, be the best painter in your life.
The workplace is not easy. In the face of red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple, how can we paint a beautiful and moving picture?
After the New Year, the subordinates offered to leave, implying that they were dissatisfied with the company culture and the style of some leaders. I didn't express my opinion or judge it, but let her choose by asking questions.
? Me: Do you have any career plans recently?
? Subordinate: I want to study the cost accounting of this industry and form a budget analysis system.
? Me: What do you think of cost accounting and budget?
? Subordinate: I haven't done it, and I have no idea for the time being.
? Me: What do you think needs to be done to realize this career plan?
? Subordinate: Be sure to do relevant work and understand the business.
? Me: Is there anything else I can do?
? Subordinate: The department has rotation opportunities, so it's best to do a good job now and strive for rotation in this position.
? Me: Do you think financial work can be separated from departmental communication? If you change to a new company, how will you deal with the same problem?
? Subordinate: ... I'm really running away. Changing jobs can't solve this problem, and my career plan in the company will be realized faster.
In this counseling conversation, the student gradually saw the status quo and the root of the problem through "focused" and powerful questions. At the same time, we don't judge each other's behavior, but use coaching skills to motivate subordinates to personally build and describe the blueprint for future career planning, thus successfully achieving "thinking reversal." And these are just one of the core principles of our coaching skills.
Let's take a look at another classmate's sharing.
I arranged the data analysis for the interns, because the amount of data is huge and there are too many labels, and I have no clue for two days. ......
Me: One of the materials in your hand is a student information collection form. What useful information can we get?
She: College, major, preparation time, status, purchase time and so on.
Me: What's the use of these data?
She: It can help us to do user stratification.
Me: What is the purpose of user stratification?
She: (hesitates for a moment) Push the class in a targeted way?
Me: OK, then what kind of stratification should be done to achieve the targeted promotion of subjects?
She: By making user portraits according to colleges and majors, you can accurately push classes.
Me: Good. Anything else?
She: (thinking for a long time) I can't remember.
Me: We also overlooked a message: readiness. Where do students with different preparation status prepare for the exam?
She: I was at school in World War I, at home in World War II, and in-service graduate students were in the company.
Me: What's the difference between them preparing for the exam?
She: (suddenly thinking) The available time is different!
Me: How does this information help us?
She: Iterate the product in a targeted way according to the different usage time of users.
Me: Good, so you know how to use the data in the student information collection table.
As a result, it is conceivable that the intern handed in a beautiful data analysis answer sheet only half an hour after the conversation. Many newcomers in the workplace may already have certain skills, but they don't know how to use them, and she hasn't found the resources for success. By asking questions instead of telling them, she saw her own resources. And when she draws her own conclusions, she can obviously feel the change of her energy. And the coach himself will have a sense of accomplishment and value.
Asking questions without judgment, I knew it before, and I agree with it. But it is actually very difficult to operate in life, especially when we are already very familiar with the dialogue mode of judgment. Without judgment, there seems to be nothing to say, and questions can easily become questions.
How did she respond to another student's feedback?
With "curiosity", explore the clues that the counseling object may change. Be a mirror and see each other's truth in a neutral way. I believe that with this thinking direction, I can better understand the design intention and use of dialogue tools and processes in my future study.
Second, horizontally, the ridge edge becomes a peak, and the distance is different.
No one is a natural genius, and everyone needs to study hard and make continuous progress the day after tomorrow. As a teacher who teaches and puzzles, he may have a deeper understanding.
A girl from Grade Two came to the consulting room and was called by the teacher. She didn't do well in school, and her class counted down. The teacher thinks that she not only has poor grades, but also has a problem with her learning attitude.
I didn't take her teacher's judgment with me during the whole consultation. The whole process is mainly listening and holding. At the same time, I keep my knowledge and link with her, understand and accept her, and empower her to analyze with her how to live a happy life in a planned way and make academic progress under her current situation.
After this "heart-to-heart dialogue", the negative emotions like carbon dioxide in girls are obviously "reduced" and gradually become "oxygen-rich" and full of positive energy. Her class teacher later reported that the student had changed a lot and made great progress.
What kind of beliefs and States we hold will naturally have what kind of actions.
My husband travels all the year round, and I take care of two children at home. Fortunately, my parents-in-law help me occasionally. Life is trivial, but I organized a "foster mother and raise baby" community, which grew online and played with dozens of mothers offline.
When my husband comes back from a business trip occasionally, it is very important to organize these in class and writing. I don't even think I have time to spend with him and the children. And I don't think he took into account that I also need to have my own value. We had a terrible argument. We always quarreled.
Then I suddenly thought of a picture. Last week, our family of four watched TV and had a midnight snack, and the whole family was happy. I want this state, which is probably what my husband wants. I started to share this vision with him, and he really agreed. That's it.
If you want it, why not do it? Then we talked calmly and decided to live with such a vision, and found that we were all in a peaceful and happy state these days.
It is said that it is difficult for honest officials to break housework. The Ma Bao student applied his coaching skills, which actually changed the negative emotions of both husband and wife, and the state of "carbon neutrality" was easy to achieve. This is undoubtedly of great reference significance to how to deal with the relationship between husband and wife and solve family conflicts in daily life.
Wherever you go, remember to bring sunshine.
People's journey is not always smooth, and the sunshine is always after the storm.
A year ago, because I made some wrong decisions, I suddenly got into debt of more than 200 thousand, which was on a 20-year-old girl. I was timid, and I was quickly cheated of what I needed, and I couldn't return to the police. No way, my family didn't understand, so I went outside to find a sense of security, found a relocated household as the object, and thought of many ways to take shortcuts. Good thing I didn't do it. Fortunately, I finally walked out by myself. Really, if I don't accept my choices and failures at that time now, I will still blame myself bitterly.
My favorite sentence: everyone's choice is the best choice at the moment. Faced with such a difficult and painful situation at that time, the student finally found himself by talking with a thoughtful coach. She said that her life is like a rebirth and transformation, becoming more and more positive.
Last Tuesday, my cousin asked me how to judge whether my boyfriend is suitable for marriage after a marriage that my parents opposed and insisted on getting married. When I was preparing to enter the marriage hall for the second time, my parents still opposed it. I asked her to take out a pen and paper by means of open-ended questions, and ranked the priorities of the decisive factors.
I don't feel so stressed, so I don't have to think about the right advice. After all, I don't have as many resources as she knows. I immediately realized the coach's good skills. In this process, she turned intermittent complaints and anxieties into very independent thinking, and even came up with reasons I never said, and I just asked one more question. Anything else? This made me deeply realize the power of good questions.
I am really grateful that the trainees of the coach training camp can study hard, concentrate on their work, think hard, help others sincerely, live happily and work wholeheartedly for their families and careers. It's raining outside the window, but our hearts are particularly warm.
Qian Shan, let's move forward together.