Many girls who have seen the TV series "Double-sided Adhesive" may be "scared" by the word "Phoenix Man". Endless grievances, endless anger. In the end, even the love you care about most will be exhausted.
But there are still girls who will "rise again after another wave of unrest" and fall in love with Phoenix Man.
"If life is just like the first time," which girl would wisely say, "He is a phoenix man, and I don't want such love?"
Isn't the beauty of love often in that kind of "despair"?
He even said, "I love you not because of you, but because of who I am when I am by your side!" " "
In real life, the more parents talk to these girls, the more they tell them that their marriage life is a "fire pit". The more they insist on their love, the more they will call it "faith"!
Who can save this dilemma and even avoid tragedy?
Only Phoenix Man!
Today's story is such a phoenix man. 10 years later, she was "sucking blood" from a family, and her elder sister-in-law made new demands, and her words made her parents stunned!
"Your brother works and studies for you. You have to repay him later! "
1On the solstice of winter in 985, Atao was born in a small mountain village with poor land. His birth did not bring much love to his family. In the eyes of his parents, it is just "one more person to eat."
Atao has a brother Liangzi who is three years older than him. His father works in a factory in the town, and his mother works at home to take care of the children.
Liangzi doesn't study well, and he is outgoing. He is always naughty. His mother always yells at him, "I think you are going to be beaten!" " But I never really hit him.
Atao is a good student, slow and calm, and has been an "adult" since childhood. Mom always said that he was very worry-free and sensible.
When the two brothers were in middle school, suddenly one day, Liangzi said, "I don't want to go to school. I want to work to earn money and reduce the burden on my family. Besides, I don't study well. Going to school is like suffering. It is better to work freely! "
At first, my mother didn't agree. After all, Liangzi was only 15 years old at that time, and she could not bear it. She often says, "I have suffered from illiteracy all my life. You both should study hard!" " Your father and I are selling iron for your study! "
But Liangzi is determined not to go to school and go out to work to make money! Since the eldest son didn't go to school, the mother always said to her youngest son, Atao, "Your brother works for your study. You have to repay him later! "
Whenever this time, Atao always listens quietly and thinks: I will study hard, get ahead and repay my family.
Although such pressure makes me very tired, I am really motivated! Atao's study is getting better and better. He was admitted to a key university. The whole family was overjoyed. They think that Atao will have a good job after graduation, so that the whole family can enjoy happiness.
"To me, you are an alien."
How many people who went to college studied hard in those four years?
Atao is.
Atao will be envious when he sees the students around him enjoying university life. But he didn't dare. He couldn't relax for a moment. He had to pay his debts, and behind him was a huge "debt".
As for love, Atao never thought that Atao was afraid to fall in love just because it cost money. What's more, love needs so much energy!
In the movie "To Youth", the hero has such a line: "To tell the truth, I really didn't plan to fall in love during my college years. It's not that I don't know what Yu Zeng means to me, but I have always turned it into friendship. You are an anomaly to me. "
Atao also met his "outlier"!
The girl Wen Wen and Atao are in the same class. Although her name is Wenwen, she is not quiet at all. She is lively and cheerful, as if she is "laughing" every day, and she is warm and considerate to everyone. At first glance, Wenwen is a girl who grew up in a happy family.
Atao's forbearing personality is most easily moved by such a girl. He wants to be her, so sunny, so relaxed, so carefree, even for a minute. Every time he contacted Wen Wen, Atao always felt that he had gained instant peace at that moment.
For Wenwen, he never thought about the word "love". He just wants to enjoy it from a distance.
But when you appreciate others, will others appreciate you?
Bian Zhilin once wrote in "Broken Chapters": "You stand on the bridge and watch the scenery, and the people watching the scenery look at you upstairs. The bright moon decorated your window, and you decorated other people's dreams. "
Atao thus decorated the literary dream.
Wen Wen generously confessed to Atao, and Atao was "frightened". If he was just a ripple in his heart before, now his heart is rolling.
Zhang Ailing said: "The greatest happiness in life is to find that the person you love just loves you." But this "greatest happiness" Atao dare not want. He is not stupid. He didn't want Wen Wen to suffer with him. He doesn't want to "hurt" Wen Wen.
He even thought: I'd better not get married in my life.
But when he saw Wen Wen's sad appearance after being rejected by himself, he was very sad.
But Wenwen is a girl who gives up easily!
Finally, Atao can no longer refuse to write with the same enthusiasm as Fire.
Phoenix man was "blood-sucking" 10 years
When Atao refused to write again and again, she had told her about her family. Wenwen knows it, but it's her choice and she doesn't regret it.
Wenwen is an only child. Her parents are teachers in a middle school in the county, and their family is well-off. Wenwen's parents have always wanted her to take the civil service exam. When she comes back, Wenwen is willing to obey her parents' arrangement.
Atao and Wen Wen's plan is this: Wen Wen will be admitted to the civil servants in his hometown after graduation, while Atao will stay in the big city to earn money for a few years, and then be admitted to the system of Wen Wen's hometown, so that they can live a stable life.
That's what they did.
Atao's academic record is solid, his business is good, he is practical, and he can be regarded as "reused" in the workplace. He lives a hard life, eats badly, tries to make money and save money, and gives his parents thousands of dollars in living expenses on time every month. WenWen see in the eye, very distressed Atao, but helpless. She just wants to marry Atao as soon as possible.
Atao's parents think that Atao can "make a lot of money" and it's time to enjoy it. Always asking him for money. My brother Liangzi got married, bought a house and got a bride price. Almost all this money comes from Atao.
Atao's parents also said that when they grow up, they also want to buy a house in the county. Because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, my mother doesn't want to live with her eldest daughter-in-law, but she still has to take care of the children. She wants to buy another house in her eldest son's community. The old couple live alone and only take care of their grandchildren during the day.
Atao has never rejected these requests. He felt that he wanted to "repay the kindness". His parents and brother sacrificed so much for themselves. Now is the time to repay them!
Finally, at the age of 32, Atao met these requirements of his parents. Atao resigned and went to Wenwen's place. They're getting married.
When he told the news to his parents, their first reaction was not to be happy that his son was finally getting married, but to complain that he quit his well-paid job and said, "You gave up your good future for a woman. These years of books are really wasted! "
For the first time, Atao was cold to his parents!
Wenwen is one year younger than Atao, which is 3 1 year. Atao can't imagine what kind of pressure Wenwen has endured for so many years and has been waiting for him. He feels that he has repaid his parents and brother a lot, and he can give himself back to Wen Wen. Atao and Wenwen finally have their own lives.
Atao slowly pulled himself away from that primitive family and injected his love into himself and his little family.
But to Atao's surprise, after his marriage, his parents criticized him more and more.
Because Atao quit his high-paying job and entered the county system, he and his wife only earned more than 8,000 yuan a month. Fortunately, the house they live in was bought by Wenwen's parents in full, and there was no mortgage pressure.
Atao still gives his parents 2000 yuan a month for living expenses, but his parents often say that the money is not enough. His brother also wants to buy a new car and a big house. He always asks Atao for money, but he only borrows it every time.
In this way, from the age of 26 to 36, Atao was "sucking blood" for ten years!
Sister-in-law put forward new requirements for parents to stand still.
Because of her own family background, Atao was full of apologies to Wen Wen, but Wen Wen never accused Atao. She doesn't want these things to affect the feelings between husband and wife. Besides, Wenwen doesn't live with her in-laws. Wen Wen thinks: As long as you ask for money, doesn't it mean that "any problem that can be solved with money is not a problem"?
In family life, some wives are always eager to protect themselves, especially when their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have conflicts, they always "fight against injustice" for themselves and show their ferocious faces.
But Wen Wen is not. She believes in Atao, and she doesn't have to protect herself, because Atao will protect her! She believes that Atao will always have judgment. She believes that Atao is not only a good son and brother, but also a good husband and father.
The relationship between people is mutual, just like the rule of interpersonal communication we often say-don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you.
The same is true between husband and wife.
Wen Wen and Atao's marriage was originally based on unforgettable love, and Atao certainly knew Wen Wen.
The year after Atao got married, their daughter was born. Atao feels that he really has a happy family of his own, and he will take good care of it in the future.
For his parents and brother, he has learned to "see through without breaking" many things, and of course he will not always subsidize them.
Atao didn't expect that she was married, and her brother and sister-in-law would make such a request!
Because my sister-in-law has a bad relationship with her mother, but she needs her mother's help to take care of her children, the "war" between her mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law continues. Now, my sister-in-law is pregnant with a second child and is about to expire. Sister-in-law heard that the Confucius Center is very good, so she wants to live in the Confucius Center!
Therefore, my sister-in-law talked to Atao again. My brother said, "Atao, your little nephew is going to be born. You have to show it as an uncle. You only have one daughter, and you don't want a second child. I will ask your nephew to support you in the future. Your sister-in-law wants to live in the Confucius Center now and needs 50,000 yuan. You can give this money to your nephew as a meeting gift. "
Atao hesitated and said nothing.
At this moment, his sister-in-law said, "Atao, you are living so well now that you have no pressure to have a daughter. Why do you save so much money? If it weren't for your brother's sacrifice, how could you be today! "
I heard that, Atao has flushed with anger.
His mother went on to say, "Yes, Atao, your sister-in-law went to the confinement center, so I don't have to wait for confinement. You can also take out this money as filial piety. "
Atao looked at his father sitting on the side. He has been silent.
This month's center has broken Atao's bottom line. He doesn't want to be patient anymore. It's time to make it clear to them.
Atao said, "I will never pay this 50,000 yuan.
First, I have no obligation to be filial to my brother and sister-in-law. You always mention that my brother didn't go to school that year, and it was his own fault! My brother works to make money to help me pay my tuition. There is always a lot of money. Over the years, the money I have given my brother has been several times that of my tuition. Do I have to pay for it all my life?
Second, my life is not as good as you think. You always ask me for money, haven't you counted it? When my wife Wen Wen gave birth to a baby, she didn't even want to live in the confinement center!
Third, listening to her mother means that she has an obligation to serve her sister-in-law? Then I want to ask, when Wen Wen was confined, did her mother take care of her for a day? Can you take care of our children for a day? You take care of the children and do housework at your brother's house every day. Did they give you a penny? How do you spend the living expenses I give you every month?
Fourth, don't ask me for money in the future. I will give what I should, and I won't give a penny that I shouldn't. "
After Atao said these things, his parents, brother and sister-in-law froze. They can't believe that Atao, who has always been "responsive", suddenly became "broke".
They all thought of literary works and thought that literary works had corrupted Atao!
"I wonder what charming soup Wenwen has given Atao?"
And Atao, after saying these words, never had an easy life, he got a new life!
Jiao Xiao Xinyu:
How hard will life be for a rural child after he is admitted to college?
After graduation, if you can't find a good job, countless people will come and say, "You really read this book for nothing, and your parents' hard-earned money has been wasted for so many years"; If he works very hard and makes great progress, he will become the "Phoenix Man" again!
Always very helpless!
What can we do?
May the story of Atao bring you all thoughts and inspiration.
Psychologist Wu Zhihong wrote in Why Family Hurts People: "The relationship between husband and wife is the core of the family. Only by putting the relationship between husband and wife first can the family be stable and harmonious. "
I wish you all a happy marriage and a stable and harmonious family.
Today's topic:
Do you have a Phoenix man like Atao around you?
Do you think Atao's four points are reasonable?
Are there any girls around you who are married to Phoenix Man?
Will you allow your daughter to marry Phoenix Man?
(Graphic irrelevant)