However, many patients with depression will encounter incomprehension, disapproval and even opposition from their families, especially their parents, when seeking help. This may be because parents lack a basic understanding of depression, or are influenced by traditional concepts and values, and think that depression is a "mental illness" or a "shameful thing", or that depression is caused by young people's "not strong enough", "not hard enough" and "not grateful enough". These wrong views and attitudes will bring more pressure and harm to patients with depression, and even lead to patients giving up treatment or committing suicide.
Therefore, it is a very important and arduous task for mothers to understand their depression. In order to help you complete this task, we summarized the following steps according to some experiences and suggestions of online search:
1. Prepare your diagnosis and related materials.
If you have been diagnosed with depression, you should prepare your own diagnosis and the treatment plan prescribed by the doctor. These documents can prove that your condition is real and serious, and you need timely and professional treatment. You can also prepare some popular science materials about depression, such as books, articles and videos. Help mothers understand the basic knowledge of depression, such as what is depression, what are the causes and manifestations of depression, and how to treat depression. It is best for these materials to come from authoritative and credible sources, such as medical experts, psychologists, formal institutions and so on.
Choose the right time and place
Confessing your depression to your mother may cause various reactions of your mother, such as surprise, worry, anger, denial and questioning. So you should choose a suitable time and place to ensure that you can communicate calmly and fully. It is best to be in a quiet, private and comfortable environment, such as home or cafe. It is best when there are no other emergencies or distractions, such as weekends or evenings. You can also tell your mother in advance that you want to talk to her about an important thing, so that she can be mentally prepared.
3. Express your feelings and needs with sincerity and respect.
When you talk to your mother, you should express your feelings and needs sincerely and respectfully. You can say from the following aspects:
How did you find yourself suffering from depression? What are the symptoms? How did you treat it? Did you get better? These can help your mother understand your actual situation and eliminate some misunderstandings or prejudices about depression.
You think your mother doesn't understand you and doesn't support you. How do these affect you? What kind of support do you want your mother to change or make? All these can help your mother understand your psychological needs and let her know that you are not blaming or accusing her, but seeking her help and understanding.
How do you view yourself and depression, what expectations and goals you have, what resources and methods you need to achieve them, and so on. All these can help your mother understand your positive attitude and let her know that you are not giving up or escaping, but working hard and struggling.
4. Listen to and respect mom's feedback and opinions.
After expressing your feelings and needs to your mother, give her a chance to express her thoughts and feelings. You should listen to and respect your mother's feedback and opinions with an open and accepting attitude, even though you may disagree or dislike them. You can express your listening and respect in the following ways:
Keep eye contact, nod your head or make a positive voice, indicating that you are listening to her carefully.
Repeat or summarize the main points she said to show that you understand her.
Ask or clarify some details of what she said to show that you are interested in what she said.
Express your understanding or sympathy for her feelings or thoughts, and show that you care about her emotions.
Avoid interrupting or correcting her words to show that you respect her point of view.
In the process of listening and respecting, you can also pay attention to the following points:
Try to stay calm and rational, and don't be irritated or hurt by some negative or wrong remarks made by your mother. You can tell yourself that these remarks are not personal, but stem from mom's ignorance or misunderstanding of depression. You can try to understand why she has such thoughts or feelings from her mother's point of view. For example, she may worry about you, love you and expect you.
Try to be positive and optimistic, and don't be discouraged or depressed because of some negative or pessimistic remarks made by your mother. You can tell yourself that these remarks can't determine your future destiny, but they can be changed through communication and education. You can try to show your mother your confidence and hope in the treatment and rehabilitation of depression. For example, you can share some successful cases, scientific data and treatment methods.
5. Seek and reach understanding and agreement.
After listening and respecting your mother's feedback and opinions, seek and reach an understanding and agreement, so that you can support and cooperate with each other in the treatment and rehabilitation of depression. You can seek and reach an agreement in the following ways:
Find out the similarities between you, for example, you both want to get rid of depression, recover health and live a happy life. These similarities can help you build a foundation of trust and cooperation.
Discuss the differences between you, such as your understanding of depression, treatment methods and expected results. These differences can help you improve your understanding and communication.
Look for some compromise or compromise solutions. For example, you can promise your mother to take medicine on time, attend treatment and keep in touch. Her mother can promise you not to deny, criticize or interfere. These plans can help you reach agreement and balance.
Make some concrete and feasible action plans, such as making an appointment with your mother for weekly or monthly parent-child psychological consultation, daily or weekly telephone or video chat, and coping strategies every time there is an emotional crisis. These plans can help you achieve your goals and monitor your progress.
In the process of seeking and reaching an agreement, you should pay attention to the following points:
Try to use the tone and attitude of cooperation rather than confrontation to show that you are a team, not an enemy. For example, "Can we do this together?" Instead of saying "you have to do it".
Try to use constructive rather than destructive suggestions and criticisms to show that you are trying to improve rather than worsen your relationship. For example, "I think you can try to do this, which may be better" instead of "why do you always do this, which is not good"
Try to use flexible rather than stubborn standards and expectations, indicating that you are trying to adapt rather than resist the real situation. For example, "I know it may not be easy, but we can change it slowly and step by step", instead of saying "I ask you to make a change at once, or I will ignore you".
6. Maintain and strengthen the contact and communication between you.
After reaching an understanding and agreement with your mother, you should maintain and strengthen the contact and communication between you, so that you can maintain a good parent-child relationship during the treatment and rehabilitation of depression. You can maintain and strengthen the contact and communication between you in the following ways:
Report your illness and treatment to your mother regularly and let her know your progress and difficulties. This will make her feel your sincerity and trust, and also let her give you appropriate encouragement and help.
Share your life and feelings with your mother from time to time and let her know your joys and sorrows. This will make her feel your closeness and concern, and also let her have more understanding of you.
Ask your mother about her life and feelings properly and let her know that you care about her. This will make her feel your respect and care, and also let her build more trust and support with you.
Consciously express your gratitude and love to your mother and let her know that you recognize her dedication to you. This will make her feel your satisfaction and happiness, and also make her more proud and pleased with you.
When maintaining and strengthening the contact and communication between you, you should pay attention to the following points:
Try to maintain positive information exchange and avoid too many complaints or complaints. This can make your mother feel your optimism and courage, and also avoid bringing her too much burden or pressure.
Try to keep true and frank information exchange and avoid too much concealment or deception. This will make your mother feel your integrity and respect, and avoid bringing her too much doubt or disappointment.
Try to maintain effective and timely information exchange and avoid excessive delay or neglect. This will make your mother feel your responsibility and cooperation, and avoid bringing her too much anxiety or anxiety.
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It takes patience and skill to make mom understand her depression. You can follow these steps:
Prepare your diagnosis and related materials.
Choose a suitable time and place
Express your feelings and needs with sincerity and respect.
Listen to and respect mom's feedback and opinions.
Seek and reach understanding and agreement.
Maintain and strengthen the contact and communication between you.
I hope these methods can help you build a more understanding and supportive parent-child relationship with your mother, and I wish you get rid of depression and restore health and happiness as soon as possible. ?