Later, because of this incident, I was invited to school by the head teacher of Xiaodouzi (Miss Huang). Although I felt uncomfortable going to the office that time, fortunately, I learned a little parenting experience from Mr. Huang.
Teacher Huang has similar troubles. When his children don't want to learn, whether it is giving verbal encouragement or helping to formulate learning strategies, the effect is not good until he thinks of a way to give money:
If you finish your homework on time every day, you will get a bonus of 10 yuan next week, otherwise 10 yuan will be deducted from your pocket money.
In this way, through material encouragement, children's initiative and enthusiasm for learning are greatly improved, and they no longer have to worry about doing homework.
I was surprised to hear Mr. Huang say this. If you don't pay the money one day, will your child not do his homework on time? And with the growth of his age, will he think that there are too few 10 yuan, so he simply won't do his homework without adding money?
Teacher Huang explained that the child didn't have such an idea at all, because he didn't really hate learning, but he didn't have enough internal drive, so he became lazy.
At this point, what parents need to do is not to beat and scold, nor to make a long speech, but to give him a clever push with the help of external forces, and then strengthen his internal motivation in time, so that he can accept from the bottom of his heart that he can finish his homework on time.
In fact, Mr. Huang did the same thing: after five months, the child will have no bonus, and since then, the child's enthusiasm for learning has not diminished.
In fact, I don't fully understand Mr. Huang's suggestion at present, but after repeated thinking, I still used it on Xiaodou with a try mentality.
After this move really took effect, I really understood Mr. Huang's intention: money encouragement is a means, not the ultimate goal, and we should quit quickly at an appropriate time.
Giving money is not the ultimate goal, don't think that children are willing to learn, and things will stop here. While giving children material encouragement, we should tell them the significance of persisting in learning. On the contrary, when children grow up, they will habitually use money to solve all problems rudely.
For example, let a child recite English words for an hour every day and tell him that everyone has his own task. Mom and dad's task is to earn money to support their families. Your task is to study hard and learn English well by memorizing words.
Even if children don't understand for a while, more pocket money is more. It is necessary for parents to constantly remind their children to form such a consciousness in the process of growing up, knowing that there are other benefits besides pocket money.
For example, after your child has memorized all the words, you can tell him that you have memorized all the words, so that you can further learn English and have less difficulties in homework, exams and oral communication!
When children grow up slowly and can appreciate the benefits of persistent learning, parents should quickly withdraw material rewards.
In the past, little beans were always immersed in holidays, unwilling to go to school and absent-minded in their homework.
He was given a bonus for three months, and he had to go to school to do his homework after the holiday. He no longer has resistance, so in the fourth month, our family held a "growth queue"-goodbye bonus, and I became a qualified student!
At this time, the cognition of going to school seriously and doing homework seriously has been recognized by Xiaodouzi, and it is no longer necessary to rely on external forces to promote it.
Finally, I want to remind you that money encouragement is not a "master key" on the road to parenting and cannot be used blindly. It is aimed at important things that children have clear goals and are unwilling to do in the short term.