Can a man without ambition completely change? We met a man and found him everywhere. But when they are asked about their work, they are all in general terms, and their minds are generally on games. So can a man without ambition completely change? Come and have a look with me.
Can a man without ambition completely change? 1
In the happy sky of women, men who are not motivated can't give women the sense of security they want.
/kloc-At the beginning of October, a confidante Fan Xiao (a pseudonym) had a big fight with her boyfriend because of her ambition. At ten o'clock in the evening, Fan Xiao came home exhausted and witnessed this scene. In the corner of the living room, the boyfriend in shorts puts his left foot on the chair, and his right foot beats with the songs in the game. Occasionally a dirty word or two was blown out of his mouth, and cigarette butts were thrown all over the floor. The whole living room is full of cigars. She thought to herself, this is the man who proposed to me yesterday. He gets a salary of 4000 yuan every month and throws himself into the game as soon as he gets off work. He has no plans for the future, and he has no pursuit for his career.
However, like most kind and easily entangled women, she will feel that he is handsome and humorous in her heart, has a heart that loves me, is considerate and tolerant to me, and tells her parents everything. Fan Xiao suppressed her anger and considered again whether she should agree to this man's proposal. Which is more important, love or bread? More than 90% of women want to know the answer to this question.
A marriage with only bread is like widowhood, and a woman's heart cannot be nourished by love. Only with a loving marriage, women feel insecure, have no worries about food and clothing, and live in fear. Fan Xiao's nameless fire comes from a sense of insecurity. Fan Xiao wants to choose love, but she can't see the future from her boyfriend, nor can she see her boyfriend's ambition for the future.
In fact, women can mobilize a man's self-motivation, let him take the initiative to change and fight for you, so how to mobilize a man's self-motivation? Grasping three strategies will lead to success.
The first strategy is to use the foot-in-the-door effect to push your luck to guide men. What is the entrance effect? In our life, people are very reluctant to accept a very difficult request. Because it is time-consuming and laborious, it is difficult to succeed, but people will be happy to accept a trivial request, and after realizing this small request, they will be very motivated to accept a bigger request, which is like climbing higher when we climb the threshold. Therefore, psychologists call this phenomenon the "foot-in-the-door effect".
For example, if we set a goal for a man to buy a house within three years before he is willing to get married, then he will probably choose to give up, because the goal of buying a house sounds too huge, and he will not only feel that he can't achieve it, but also bear great mental pressure and feel anxious and depressed every day. Over time, he will feel that he can't give you what you want and simply give up early.
Using the door-in effect, we can decompose male goals in this way. You can choose a more relaxed man. Time tells him that you need about 1.2 million yuan to see a real estate in an urban area. Then, you can analyze it for him. Honey, we have saved 200 thousand. Let's work hard and try to save 200,000 in three years. Then, we can pay the down payment to buy the house. At this time, he may say that 200,000 won't be so easy to get. You can break down the target for him. I have calculated that if we earn an extra 3,000 yuan a month, we can easily reach 200,000 yuan, and this has not counted our year-end bonus and provident fund. We just need to increase our income by 1000 yuan per month. I will buy two less bags, and you will work harder. Turning a mountain that has bought a house for three years into a fine sand with a monthly income of 1500 yuan will suddenly become stress-free and men will become more motivated.
The second strategy is to create a vision. In a subtle way, it will light an unknown fire like the visitor Fan Xiao, and then order men, you must do this, you must do that, but the more you order men, the more disgusted men will be. Finally, they will attack you in the opposite direction like a spring. The more you press down, the more you resist. If you want to inspire men's fighting spirit, don't use the way of command, you can change it into a gentler way, such as creating a vision for men, so that they can willingly get into your trap and digest your instructions. Everyone should remember that men are soft and hard.
How to create a vision? Let me give you an example. On a beautiful morning, you can say to him gently and shyly, dear, I had a dream last night that we went to Mohe to see the aurora. It's beautiful. We also made a wish before the aurora. Kissing is really romantic. It would be great if I could really go to Mohe to see the aurora in the future. If he said it was just a dream, why did he take it seriously? You know how long it will take to go to Mohe and how much it will cost, so you can say that you just go to Mohe at this time. Our life is so long, are we still afraid to make up for this little money? Believe in yourself, believe in yourself. When he sees the exciting scene in your dream and enjoys the picture of a better life with confidence, his heart may soon be full of passion for struggle. Choose this goal consciously. This vision is mainly set to attract men rather than command them, and men will not feel oppressed or disgusted with it.
The third strategy is technical expression, which needs to stimulate men's self-motivation. Men are not motivated, which is mostly used by women. If a woman feels that she has enough love and is willing to spend a hard time with a man, a man needs to be motivated to struggle and satisfy your basic life. If women are dissatisfied with their present situation, they should dare to express their dissatisfaction and needs, instead of being humble and accommodating.
Can a man without ambition completely change? If a girl is not good enough and her boyfriend is not self-motivated and doesn't want to give up, you can tap each other's strengths, foster strengths and avoid weaknesses, and find a psychological balance. You can also start from changing yourself and slowly infect him to see if he is willing to improve himself for you. Many men are still willing to make changes for the woman they love, and there is no lack of that kind of enterprising. No matter how much you pay, it's useless.
There are also a group of people who have jobs and get paid every month, but they are ordinary. For women who have high demands on their boyfriends, this is also not self-motivated, because low wages may not give you too much and cannot meet your material needs. You think they should get better and better. If you say that your current job is 3,000 yuan a month, you should quit your job and find someone with 5,000 yuan. To live is to have desire and to go higher. But I think if this man has a good temper and is kind to you, although he earns less, he is not stingy with you, and his life is full of ritual, caring for you, loving you and quarreling with you, all the details are warm to you, and maybe self-motivation can be ignored. After all, money can't buy love, right? Think clearly about what you really want, and you won't be entangled.
We should be good at observing. Many rich second-generation families have superior conditions. If their parents work hard for them, they may enjoy themselves. If they don't work hard, they will be idle. But as long as money seems to be everything, it will not be criticized by people and is very popular with women. Everyone has a certain degree of vanity. For girls who value bread over love, material satisfaction has made them happy, so don't talk about self-improvement. But people should not just look at the present. Parents will get old one day and unexpected things will happen. There is no guarantee that the company will not go bankrupt. In this case, are you willing to suffer with him? Or resolutely leave him. In fact, it depends on whether he will grow up after setbacks. Can your love stand the test?
In fact, a woman should think about what kind of person she is and find a boyfriend before falling in love. Then the problem is not so complicated. If you only look at the present and don't care about the future, and just want to talk about a love, then as long as he is good enough for you, self-motivation is so unimportant. If you are already rich, you don't need a man to support yourself, and you don't need to consider whether he has ambitions, because you have the guarantee of living together, he can give you love, and you can earn money to support yourself. If you have no skill, you can still think high.
If you are not content with the status quo and have been longing for a better life, but he is mediocre all the way, and now you have no money and don't work hard to make money, it is meaningless to believe that he will give you more love, and you will be moved and shed tears, but when you watch others buy a house and a car and you can only watch all the time, you can't accept an enterprising person. Maybe he has no money now, but one day he will change the status quo and live a better life than now. Even if he didn't become so rich, your life has improved, and you are going uphill. And a person who is not self-motivated may still be able to live on his parents' money now, but what should he do in a few years? After having children, the pressure of life has increased dramatically. You can't see the hope of bringing home the bacon, and his lack of progress will also make you lose motivation.