1. Let go of your family and make yourself better.
First of all, I left my family by going out to school or work.
Secondly, learn to care for yourself, make yourself better, be patient with yourself and accept yourself.
Do whatever you want, buy whatever you want, and cultivate a reasonable concept of moderate consumption.
Open your heart, make friends and encourage yourself at any time. Anything that can't hit you will make you stronger.
Allow yourself to be unhappy and encourage yourself to make continuous progress.
2. Spiritual independence.
Spiritual independence means that we don't have to rely on others to gain a sense of security, create happiness in life and have our own spiritual world.
Reading more books and seeing more of the world is a shortcut to spiritual independence.
3. Establish your own new family.
You can choose not to forgive the harm of being born in a family, or you can choose to let go.
Although we can't completely get rid of the negative influence of family background, we can find our relatives, set up our own new family, take care of our wives or husbands and children and practice our dream family through our own efforts.
As an adult, slowly accept your family background.
The newborn family is your child's family of origin. Give your child a happy family.
Establishing one's own newborn family is an effective way to dilute family of origin's influence.
Since psychology spread in China, more and more people have noticed that family background has a far-reaching influence on people's arrival. Therefore, more and more young couples begin to attach importance to family education, hoping that the next generation will not continue the misfortune of the previous generation.
What psychological effects does family background bring to a person?
Optimism, self-confidence, self-esteem and self-love. ...
Inferiority, conceit, arrogance, paranoia ...
Some people may wonder, aren't all these words the embodiment of personality? Yes, this is personality, and personality is basically formed slowly in childhood, and no one's personality is developed overnight.
Similarly, Austrian psychiatrist alfred adler said: "Lucky people are cured by childhood all their lives, while unfortunate people are cured by childhood all their lives." This shows how important the influence of family background is to a person.
Then, can't we get rid of the shadow left by childhood? The answer is no.
Back to the topic, how to overcome (get rid of) the inferiority complex brought by family background?
First of all, we need to know what are the inferiority factors brought by family-
Therefore, we can often see that children (left-behind children) who grow up in families where their parents have been working outside for a long time are often prone to inferiority complex.
It is also an important task to cultivate self-esteem in childhood. If parents deny their children for a long time, whether they are big or small, academic achievements, labor achievements and so on. When children are denied and criticized again and again, they will not be affirmed by their parents for a long time, and gradually children will feel useless and stupid.
In the long run, children's self-esteem will decrease, their sense of inferiority will gradually increase, and they will begin to deny themselves from the bottom of their hearts.
Psychologist Maslow pointed out that human needs are divided into five levels, namely: physiological needs, security needs, social needs, respect needs and self-needs.
Physiological needs are what we often say, food, clothing, housing and transportation, and material is the basis of survival. When a person often doesn't have enough to eat and doesn't wear warm clothes, then the physiological needs can't be solved perfectly, so that ta has been looking for this demand.
Besides me, I found that friends with the same family conditions around me had the same experience as me, that is, they had been looking for physiological needs for some time.
Therefore, when a family can't support the child to obtain physiological needs during the child's growth, the child will also form an inferiority complex.
So, how to get rid of inferiority complex and build self-confidence in the later period of growth?
Since we grew up in such a family environment, we can't and can't change our parents, but we can get support and help from ta.
Make more positive friends, get along with ta for a long time, and you will find that there is more than one world. Besides quarreling, violence and calculation, there are also caring, mutual assistance and unity. In the face of a person who has been smiling for many years, we feel that we will not laugh.
When we feel happy and satisfied inside, that sense of inferiority will gradually decrease or even disappear.
When we successfully accomplish something, we all have a sense of accomplishment-I am great, and I have done all these things. When we have to finish the task again and again, our sense of accomplishment will gradually accumulate and our self-confidence will grow.
Why should we start with small things, not big things? Because the smaller things are easier to complete, just like playing games to upgrade. If you play level by level, you will have confidence and motivation to play. If you are the ultimate BOSS at first, you can't win. Then the ending is to uninstall the game.
So it's easy to cultivate self-confidence from small things. When self-confidence reaches a certain level, it will gradually squeeze out the inner inferiority and get rid of it.
When our current economic conditions are not good, we are like children waiting for candy in the experiment. We must firmly believe that it will get better and better in the future. Things we can't afford at present (brand-name clothes, entertainment places, high-end restaurants ...), we can also have them in the future.
Therefore, striving to acquire a skill and ability can bring greater help to gain more economy in the future. And those who refuse to associate with you because of your current poor economic conditions don't have to care. They can only show that the other side pays attention to interests rather than feelings, and these friends don't come and go. A true friend is someone who can talk to you nonstop even if you buy him a cup of boiled water. Such a person is worthy of association.
Therefore, learning to delay satisfaction every day will reduce your sense of inferiority. When the sense of satisfaction comes, the sense of inferiority will disappear, and even in this process, the sense of inferiority has disappeared.
Dear, I understand your desire to overcome your inferiority complex. Because I struggled in inferiority complex, I can't get rid of it completely now, but I have made obvious progress.
Here, I will tell you about my inferiority complex and how I deal with it.
As a person who is also influenced by his family background and has low self-esteem, I understand how deadly the low self-esteem will bring to a person's growth, life and intimate relationship.
People with low self-esteem underestimate their abilities, so they dare not engage in some challenging activities and tend to do some repetitive, safe and stable work, so it is difficult to make progress in their personal abilities, or progress is very slow.
Many people have procrastination, always putting things off until the last minute, and the quality of completion is naturally not high. The apparent reason for procrastination is lack of self-discipline and the deep reason is lack of self-confidence. Procrastination is to comfort yourself when things are not done well. "I'm just anxious, not incompetent."
People with low self-esteem lack reasonable evaluation of themselves and tend to care too much about other people's eyes. A word or a look from others can make waves in our hearts, making us anxious, sensitive and emotional.
Over time, we will feel that people around us are always unfriendly and fate always refuses to take care of us. Most things that happen in life are bad things ... These thoughts accumulate constantly, and it is easy to form a "victim complex" and a "learned helplessness sense", and feel that their future is bleak and they gradually lose hope for life.
People with low self-esteem often show two extremes in intimate relationships:
One is so sticky that I can't wait to stick to each other for 24 hours. Psychologically, this kind of personality is called "anxiety-dependent personality".
This kind of person is not idle, but has "separation anxiety" in his heart. They need to keep in touch with important people to make sure that they are loved. Once they lose contact, they will think that they are rejected and excluded. In the final analysis, it is because of inferiority.
The other is too alienated, never taking the initiative, or rarely taking the initiative to "avoid dependent personality."
This kind of person doesn't care about the other half, but cares. But they are afraid that showing this concern will be looked down upon by the other half, so they don't cherish it.
Such people are also inferior at heart. They pretend to be cold and wait passively because they dare not take the initiative. They believe that only those who wait are true love, and only those who take the initiative come to comfort and pity each other. The specific performance is "if you don't look for me, I will never look for you." Call me if you miss me. "
These two attachment types will affect the stability of intimate relationship more or less.
What's even more amazing is that these two kinds of people tend to attract each other easily. Once a close relationship is formed, there will be a vicious circle of "one running, one chasing" and "one desperately wanting and one unwilling to give". The misunderstanding between the two sides will be further aggravated, the emotional rift will be bigger and bigger, and it will often end in tragedy.
To tell the truth, my previous relationships have failed, and the road to love is bumpy, which is almost all for this reason. What I said above, I have tasted all the pain caused by inferiority complex.
Although inferiority will bring us all kinds of harm, we still can't rush to overcome it.
"Rome wasn't built in a day", and the inferiority complex of family background has become a habit over time. It is not easy to change it.
Once, I was also looking forward to a complete change, but after some efforts, it still had little effect. I'm in a hurry. I don't like myself. "Don't you just become confident?" Thanks to so many books you have read, you can't even make this change. You are so useless! "
-Did you find out? I wanted to overcome my inferiority complex, but I fell into a new inferiority complex. I wanted to make peace with myself, but I started attacking myself again. This is because I expect too much of myself.
Inferiority is not the original sin. Each of us is unique in this world. Since we were born in a family, we have formed an inferiority complex, so reconciliation with inferiority complex is our life's mission. Take your time, we are in no hurry.
Many people who are troubled by inferiority want to completely eliminate inferiority and usher in a confident life. In fact, this is impossible.
Wang Yangming once said:
Everything has two sides. Self-confidence and inferiority are like two sides of the same coin. Everyone is a combination of self-confidence and inferiority, and no one is absolutely not inferior.
People who have never suffered have no concept of "sweetness". People who have never struggled in inferiority complex, when they are full of confidence and spring breeze, how can they understand what a wonderful thing it is?
Therefore, "eliminating inferiority complex" is actually a delusion that can never be realized. Blindly pursuing the elimination of inferiority will only lead to deeper anxiety and incompetence.
A more realistic and feasible way is to accept one's inferiority complex, live in peace with it, see more and explore one's inner self-confidence so as to keep the two in balance. Don't be too confident and become conceited, and don't be too inferior and have self-loathing.
There is a good idea, which is like this:
Do it a few times more, I believe you will have a more comprehensive and sober understanding of yourself, so as to better balance your inner self-confidence and inferiority.
You should understand that one's strength is weak, and it is very difficult to control inferiority within a reasonable range by one's own efforts.
What's more, our way of thinking and behavior habits are formed under the accumulated influence of family background, and our emotions have already formed the inertia of inferiority. It is difficult for us to get rid of this inertia ourselves.
Therefore, we should learn from the wisdom of others. One depends on reading and the other on communication.
First of all, some professional books can inspire you. I recommend some books to you, all of which I read by myself, and I think they are very useful for curing inferiority complex (in no particular order):
In addition, seeking help from psychological counselors is the most effective way to deal with inferiority complex. What we have been looking for, including unconditional love and acceptance, which is missing in Native House, will be given to you by a good psychological counselor.
Finding a suitable psychological counselor is equivalent to establishing a safe and stable relationship and healing yourself in this relationship.
But it should be noted that it is very important to find a psychological counselor. You can register in the psychological clinic of a local regular hospital, or you can find a psychological counselor in the required field on the regular website for online consultation.
I found three psychological counselors online, and neither the first nor the second insisted. It is not that they are unprofessional, but that my inferiority complex was very serious at that time, and their consultation methods and methods were not suitable for my state at that time.
The third counselor, I only talked to him once, and it felt good. He made me feel deep understanding and acceptance, and his sincerity and enthusiasm for helping me. I think, if I can't adjust myself to depression in the future, I will call him again.
Finally, I want to share a small method with you. This varies from person to person. You can decide whether to use it according to your own situation.
This is what my counselor suggested-find someone who is like a "dentist" and pour out his negative emotions to ta.
"Dentist" means that when you are uncomfortable, you don't have to go to see ta when you are good. This person can be an elder who is kind to you, a friend who understands and cares about you, and a warm-hearted netizen. ...
If you have such a person around you, look for ta at low tide, let ta give you strength and tell you that you are beautiful and loved, and you deserve to be treated gently by the world.
No one can help you solve this problem. You must untie the bell and the person who tied it. This is a matter of mentality. It's really difficult, but it's also simple. Two words teach you to get rid of inferiority. Confidence! Exercise your self-confidence, increase your self-confidence, keep your self-confidence, and remember not to be arrogant!
A friend of mine didn't get much love and affirmation from his parents. When he wants to buy something, even if it is very cheap, he will tell him that it is useless and our family can't afford it! Other children wear beautiful clothes and shoes, and their parents will tell them that they are worn by children from rich families. Don't even think about it! Over time, he gradually felt very humble and felt that all the beauty in the world had nothing to do with her!
Every time I go shopping with her, I can't get into a better store She will feel that she can't afford the clothes inside, and she doesn't deserve the clothes inside! In fact, his economic strength can fully meet her needs! I often spend a lot of money on things I don't like very much, because this dress is expensive 10 and 20 yuan, and all the clothes I choose are cheaper than this dress! Buying it back is another waste for him. Because he doesn't like it!
He is very upset about it! He wants to solve this problem, but he doesn't know where to start! I suggest that she talk to her parents and tell them how she feels. Of course, she should not blame her parents, but should be more understanding and tolerant. The purpose of telling them is to give her back her confidence and love when she was a child!
Next, I will encourage her to learn to try to buy what she likes! Starting from small items, step by step, enjoy the feeling of loving yourself a little, and he gets satisfaction from buying! I am getting more and more refined, and the layout at home is getting more and more refined. I have successfully experienced the feelings of love, self-confidence and satisfaction bit by bit!
Adler said that everyone has an inferiority complex. Maybe it has some positive significance to our life, but inferiority may really affect us.
The so-called inferiority complex is defined as that only one person is at a loss when facing a problem. For example, you can't get into intimate relationships well, you can't accept your own home, and so on.
In fact, when we express our inferiority complex to people close to us, it means that we can face it. Only in this way can we get along better with ourselves, accept an imperfect self and an inferior self.
To accept oneself is to accept one's integrity, and to accept one's wholeness.
Especially when we can joke about some things, these things may not have much influence.
So is inferiority complex. When you can laugh at yourself and blame yourself, the influence of inferiority will not make you self-attack and close, will not make your interpersonal relationship tense, and will even make you afraid of marriage.
Inferiority is formed for a long time. I understand very well, and I am very touched. Have you found the so-called inferiority complex?
Do you feel inferior because you don't have a good economic foundation or rely on family economy to realize your ideas?
Do you feel inferior because you consciously or unconsciously listen to others or compare their happiness?
Do you feel inferior? Are you comparing your looks with those of your parents, or are you comparing the rich and poor environment in your hometown?
You feel inferior. Did your parents' emotions and education make you feel inferior when you were a child?
There are various reasons that lead to inferiority, so I won't mention them one by one.
The cultivation of family background leads to inferiority complex, and you need gratitude to resolve it. The specific method is to list all the events and words that have influenced you, and then give two judgments. One is kind, because they love you, and the other is vicious. They want you to be well. If you can make your own choice, if you can't pass the psychological barrier, you can bravely ask the parties, regardless of the outcome, with a grateful heart. The inferiority complex and self-reproach caused to you are all due to your inner wrong cognition. After all, the world is beautiful.
The condition of family background leads to inferiority, so you need to face up to your abilities and responsibilities. No family is your lifelong backer, or even your capital at all. It is only responsible for you until 18 years old. It has no responsibility and obligation to contribute more to you, and you have no right and qualification to ask for it again. Everything you face needs your strength and ability to prove, and you need your own results to get it. If you can't realize this, it's not that you feel inferior, but that you are not mature enough to understand the definition of responsibility. Because you already need to return it, but you are still asking for it psychologically.
I plan my heart. On the psychological level, in addition to medical treatment and cooperation after illness, good psychological counseling and strengthening construction, as well as high-quality physical and mental growth plans are needed.
Inferiority leads to social fear, so establish a plan of exercise or interest, and you will find that many people of the same kind get together to discuss the same topic or behavior, which is the most effective self-control way to cure social fear and inferiority.
Inferiority leads to information fear, which can isolate negative information and people and things, and at the same time stay away from information channels that waste life and increase inferiority complex, and strengthen the acquisition of knowledge and sound of positive psychological energy.
Inferiority leads to fear of action, and the difficulty of career, work and life goals increases step by step. First, set a goal that is completely within your control and accomplish it; Continue to develop more difficult ones, one by one.
Inferiority leads to lack of self-confidence. Objectively list all your strengths and weaknesses, overcome each weakness one by one, and make a public welfare plan for yourself. Care for vulnerable groups if you have the ability, and pick up garbage if you don't have the ability.
After completing the above actions, you will find that inferiority complex has already left you; You should enrich your daily schedule, plan every day and make progress every day. People always say that "having psychological problems is idle", but it is not. Most psychological problems are not understood. You can arrange yourself and not others, so every minute must be enriched. How can you feel inferior?
Get rid of inferiority, anxiety, negativity and depression, remould yourself, regain beauty and light, and welcome private letters to plan and tidy up your mind-Tan Xiao!
With a good material foundation, to put it bluntly, we should be independent and have money [covering our faces], which is realistic but true.
I don't know if you have seen the TV series "Everything is OK". When Su Mingyu was 18 years old, she took control of her own life in order to get rid of the troubles of her family.
A good material foundation can improve a person's external mental outlook, thus affecting a person's internal spiritual world and slowly changing his inferiority complex, so the subject can just continue to work hard and don't always think about changing this inferiority complex. Sometimes you will find that the family you came from can hardly be changed, and it is getting worse and worse. It is better to get used to it, ignore it and do your own thing. As long as you keep your feet on the ground, you will find that your good conditions will bring you something stronger than it.
In fact, being born in a family has nothing to do with inferiority, but the influence you have when you are growing up and facing various difficulties and setbacks in a complex environment.
In fact, inferiority complex is nothing, and it is not insurmountable. Everything is up to you. Actively face the causes of inferiority, bravely challenge yourself, let yourself start with small achievements, guide yourself to overcome inferiority step by step, and you will come out.
No one is useless, find your own strengths to strengthen, accept your unchangeable weaknesses and improve your changeable shortcomings.
Without contrast, there is no harm. Why do you feel inferior? I feel that my family has too many disappointments compared with other people's families, such as poverty, such as parents' physical defects, such as parents' lack of affection, indifference to children or domestic violence, which will all cause children's inferiority and inferiority.
In fact, many times inferiority complex is just our own heart disease. Maybe people don't notice you at all, but there are ways to change everything. If you want to change yourself, change your destiny, and even change your family situation, you need your own efforts!
A friend of my brother's, three brothers, is the boss. His father was imprisoned for human trafficking when he was eight years old, and his mother died of taking medicine angrily. He left his three brothers and grew up with his grandparents, but he had no choice but to drop out of school after graduating from junior high school. Because there is no money to spend, I go to my peers' homes to play and occasionally steal other people's money. The villagers don't like him, so drive him away, that is, in me.
Over the years, he has been a poor street punk who was looked down upon by everyone at the beginning. Now he owns several big companies in this city. Going back to my hometown to see my grandparents on holidays, I always drive a luxury car. The villagers will never look down on him again. Will he feel inferior again?
So everything depends on people's efforts. What's the use of inferiority? Being strong is fundamental! Finally, I hope my answer is helpful to you!