Recently, my best friend Xiaoling told me that she was unhappy. She fell in love with two boys before and after, and they only had an affair with her, but they were not sure about the relationship.
Finally, she said, "I'm depressed. Am I worthy of love? "
For those who have the initiative in love, this sentence sounds a bit "useful", but I believe that most people can still cause * * * for this sentence.
I am looking forward to establishing a relationship with the other party, but I feel that the other party is at arm's length; In other words, looking forward to establishing a relationship with the other party, in the final step of determining the relationship, the other party fled.
02
Is this person worthy of your "liking"?
With the development of society and the progress of science and technology, people transmit information faster and faster. That kind of "cars and horses are slow, letters are far away, and you can only love one person in your life." Our beautiful thoughts can only stay in ancient times.
"rustic love stories" have become commonplace, and "ambiguity" comes with your mouth open, let alone "teasing".
Some people think "provocation" is fun, and they retreat in time when the other party is in high spirits. "Show operation" brings them pleasure.
Therefore, in such a social background, it is precious to find a person worthy of liking.
Such ambiguous behavior has long been commonplace in life. The other party can enter or retreat, but he has long been fascinated by him and led by him. When you are led by the nose, you might as well ask yourself these questions:
What kind of life do you want in the future?
Secondly, have you thought about what your other half will be like?
If you are in doubt about these questions, you can go to an upscale coffee shop and see the people's speech, manners, temperament, cultivation and wisdom there. Maybe you will find the answer.
03
Grasp the rhythm
There are three kinds of "love"
Courtship: only know how to take, not how to pay;
Exchange of love: you have to give me as much love as I give you;
Love without regrets: I will love you in return whether you love me or not.
No matter what kind of feelings you belong to, you need to manage with your heart. I wonder what stage your love for him has reached. If you are really sure that he is the right person and you are the third kind of love for him, then having this "persistence" is half the battle.
A friend once told me, "True feelings can't be kept since ancient times, only routines win people's hearts."
I didn't care. After learning psychology, I know that "routines" have their own meaning and cannot be completely denied.
The specific operation is as follows
Improve yourself and make yourself confident. As a girl, a good personality and a little mystery are the magic weapons to increase the attraction of the opposite sex.
After you fall in love with someone, look him in the eye every time you meet him, and stare at your prey with affectionate eyes. Even if you want to withdraw your eyes, you should be reluctant to go and leave slowly. This will give him an illusion that you and he are lovers who have been in love for a long time;
Learn to find the same topic. There are psychological differences between men and women. Girls are more inclined to listen to nice words, but boys are more inclined to work with you During the conversation, if your prey is a male, you should pay special attention to his preferences and show that you are also good at that, then you can cooperate with him.
Technical praise is also important. Pay attention to the details when praising, because it will appear sincere.
For example, "honey, you are so beautiful today. Your earrings suit you very well, and your lipstick is beautiful. "
However, please be careful not to praise too often. If you praise too many times, he will think you are hypocritical and often backfire.
Love him the way he likes, not the way you think. You can tentatively ask him in the chat, such as "What is your definition of love?" If he doesn't describe it clearly, then you should carefully record his happy moments in the chat and analyze his favorite patterns.
04
If the rhythm is right, but the relationship does not develop further, it is necessary to consider that the "ambiguous" object has an escape plot.
There is a kind of people who are afraid of establishing a relationship with others and feel that others are not trustworthy. Psychologically, such people are called "avoidant attachment type". Attachment avoiders found in past experiences that love and people are not trustworthy, and a person is the safest state.
If you find that your "ambiguous" object is an "avoidant attachment type", then you should take the initiative to give him enough security and make him make a commitment.
There is another kind of people who are anxious and attached. They were injured in their last relationship and were afraid that they would be hurt again, so they secretly observed whether the "ambiguous" object would cause harm to themselves. If they find that you can't create a "safe love environment" for him, then he will immediately evacuate the ambiguous scene.
When you meet such an "ambiguous" object, you should be extra careful, because he will leave because your words or actions will hurt him, so you should seriously make a "sweet talk", what words will hurt him and what actions will make him uncomfortable.
In either case, we should treat it rationally and ask a psychological counselor for help if necessary.
Reference: How to make the person you love fall in love with you