The headmaster's friend asked me if something had happened to the children outside. Was beaten at school?
In the school under
The headmaster's friend asked me if something had happened to the children outside. Was beaten at school?
In the school under the fence, more than one child should have encountered the same problem. Why did something happen to this child?
In essence, the presentation of problems is only a traumatic presentation of childhood relationships, and how to obtain relationships is the most critical thing in children's experience.
As Professor Zeng Qifeng said, if you describe mental illness as a ball in your hand, how did this ball come from?
There are only two sources of the ball. The first one is that you grabbed it, and the second one is that it fell from the sky. Many people think that mental illness is external, but psychology tells us that mental illness is a big factor.
Children don't want to go to school, shut themselves in their rooms and cut off communication with the outside world, which is to start the defense mechanism and continue the strategy adopted by our ancestors in the face of the threat of tigers and beasts, "fight, escape and pretend to be dead." Modern people fight, run away or pretend to be dead, showing depression, which is an attack on their inner self.
In the second consultation, I invited my parents to my studio, set the consultation goal, and let the children go out of the house.
This case lasted for three months, and I helped the visitors achieve the consulting goal. Looking back on the whole consultation process, I followed the following ideas to help me complete the consultation task:
I. Clarification
Facing visitors, what we do is to communicate. Communication is the presentation of language. When visitors come to ask for help with questions, it is easy to be covered up by subjective emotions when expressing them.
For example, children are tired of learning, and it is easy for mothers to accuse and complain that school students isolate their children. The school has not created a harmonious atmosphere, so that children can't feel friendship and children are left out and isolated.
Dad blamed his mother for not taking good care of the children. If the consultant does not use the method of "clarification", it is easy to be misled by the emotions of the visitors and think that the problem lies in the school. In fact, a small thing in the school is only the last straw to overwhelm the camel, and the outbreak is not the most critical.
Second, find symptoms and problems.
The symptoms of visitors are small corners on the iceberg, and the roots are under the iceberg. If they can't see the root cause under the iceberg, they will make a treatment plan, which will not only increase the course of treatment, but also have a bad effect. Finding information to find symptoms and problems is the first step for the consultant after receiving the case.
In the first five consultations, I was collecting information, that is, asking visitors to show their family, school, classmates and friends information and genealogy maps, and going deep into grandparents' generation to find symptoms and problems.
The children's school organized an essay competition for the whole grade, and she also wrote one, but the teacher Chen of the Literature Society wrote her a long commentary with stories and did not recommend her essay. During the consultation, I had a conversation with my child:
It can be seen that children tend to think negatively about themselves and look at their experiences in a negative way and from a pessimistic perspective.
This is the child's psychological habit and thinking. A situation can have many different explanations, which can be positive or negative. He tends to explain it in a negative way instead of seeking positive possibilities.
What I need to do is to help him find his own psychological habits and negative thinking, and help her find problems.
I finished this part in two steps.
1, help her find resources.
According to her psychological habits and negative thinking, it is useless to find teachers and parents. As she said, she has tried this situation before, but she can't solve the problem, which proves that her idea is right and really useless. Therefore, children imprison themselves in their own thoughts and let their inner world keep churning. When she saw her classmate, she thought that her classmate didn't like her. I think. Write her process into a will first, and then try to let her parents see it. Parents contacted the teacher, and the teacher talked to her privately, which dispelled her idea that the teacher looked down on her article and didn't trust her. After many heart-to-heart talks with her parents, the teacher even took her classmates to visit her home.
2. Find inner strength and inspire hope.
Depression, from another angle, is the body's call for new life, awakening the reconstruction of new life. Every life has the power of rebirth, but it needs a good consultant to help her find this inner power.
In the case, I used it to relieve parents' anxiety, lower parents' expectations and help children get out of trouble step by step.
I assign homework to let parents look at their situation objectively and express their children's previous advantages.
When children see the changes of their parents, their inner emotions will also be stirred.
After three months of negotiation, things are developing in a good direction. Last week, her parents called and said that their children would like to go to school.
Psychological counseling is not only advice and encouragement, but also helps visitors to understand the negative relationship and emotions among family members, understand the sources of emotions, provide visitors with a sense of success and self-control experience, and let visitors think about their situation in a new way.
In the process of cognitive improvement, what we should do at the same time is to enhance children's trust and desire for their parents' love and support, and help parents rebuild their role as emotional supporters.
This is the beautiful psychological counseling room. Leave the troubles to me!