It should be said that the fear in your eyes is only the external expression of your inner special thoughts. It is also the first time that you feel the beginning of a problem deeply. But before that, you should have planted the seeds of anxiety in your heart, only to be stimulated by something later. Further, you draw a circle between yourself and the outside world. Isolate others from that circle and isolate yourself from this circle. You can't get out of this circle and get to know the outside world, thus changing your communication with the outside world. But on the other hand, the outside world can't jump into this circle to get in touch with you, get to know you and integrate you with it. How this circle was set up and how it existed should be earlier than the seventeenth. Now that you are 27 years old, when you face more pressure in life, you will realize more deeply that you have changed your life direction because of the problems when you were 17 years old. But you don't realize that in this decade, a very precious decade, you have many opportunities to improve or change yourself, but in fact your circle is getting smaller and smaller, and until now you have been confined to it. But the tragedy is that because of the evolution of ten years, you don't want to break this circle, but you want to make it infinitely small, so small that you can do it yourself. I don't know if it's because you are exhausted or you can't control yourself.
However, because a person has lived in his own world for so long, you can't tell which ideas are objective and which are not. But it is easy for you to judge yourself as a problematic person, an abnormal person, so you will think that all your problems are because you have too many shortcomings. What you have described actually reveals another message, that is, your heart is still eager for recognition and relevance from others, and you also hope to maintain good interaction with the outside world. The only drawback is that I don't know what to do. Moreover, when your troubles and pains get deeper and deeper, your compulsive thinking will become more profound and vivid. I don't think it is necessary to analyze the causes of these problems for the time being. For you, what you need to do now is to break your circle. Find the gap between emotional and behavioral release. Because of the problem of being suppressed for ten years, it is necessary to release emotions first to avoid excessive emotional harm to body and mind. Secondly, under the premise of this gap circle, we need to start a minimum blend with others. It's not bad for you now. Because it's been ten years, but it's time for you to have a job and a family. Generally speaking, I am under great pressure, but because I have a stable job, I can open the gap more securely and try to change my present life. I want to cope with these compulsive thinking, reduce anxiety, look at problems objectively, re-recognize myself, re-establish self-confidence, and balance inferiority and self-confidence. These are the problems to be faced and dealt with in the future. Twenty-seven, not too late. These tasks can begin now. Just don't wait until you are 37 to regret that you are not ready to change now. Your last cry, although you can understand and feel your pain, even despair. However, it is you who breed despair and hope. However, if you feel helpless, you should learn to reach out and let others help you.