If it wasn't for family changes, if it wasn't for children's weariness and abandonment of school, if it wasn't for the road of learning psychology and psychological counseling, I might have continued this model unconsciously, and wrong thinking cognition would continue to create problems, troubles and pains.
Psychological counseling is not to directly change your cognition or practice, but to re-recognize yourself and your life under the guidance of a psychological counselor. The first step is to perceive our inner self through phenomena, which is very difficult, because under the influence of the old model, we have been paralyzing ourselves with wrong thinking and constantly rationalizing our mistakes. Because being taught to be obedient and sensible since childhood, being a good boy means unconditionally accepting the education and influence of parents on all your language and behavior, and because we have to rely on our parents to grow up since childhood. Therefore, the pattern of parents is the starting line of children, and the happiness of childhood determines the happiness of life. These words go straight to the heart.
Secondly, I gradually realized something, that is, to understand something, but to understand something is to break the inertia and change the old relationship mode, thinking mode and way of getting along. This is a process of reinventing yourself, it's hard to say.
Looking back, my husband spent most of the six months from illness to death in the hospital. I never thought we would be separated in this way. Even though my married life of more than ten years is defined as "unhappy" by me, even though I don't want to talk about those quarrelling days, when the man who has been with me for more than ten years makes me love and hate, I still feel heartache.
After my husband died, I didn't seem to need or even resent the excessive attention and comfort of others, because the biggest feeling in my heart at that time was that my first half of my life was like a lifetime ago, and now I feel like I was reborn from the fire. In fact, at that time, I just lost my husband's control and fetters, and my heart suddenly relaxed a lot. When the children's problems come one after another, when the inner pain is more than before, all these seem to remind me that the real awakening has just begun.
Because of pain and anxiety, I am prompted to think and wake up. I want to get well. The pain printed in your brain circuit must be seen, and some facts must be admitted and faced no matter how cruel. This is really a process of turning cocoon into butterfly and nirvana, but it is based on pain to uncover the scars of the past and stimulate the release of those past hatred little by little!
Parents should understand that everything you say and do is an education for their children. If you can "see" the child, what you see here is that the child is not an accessory or derivative of his parents, but an independent individual who exists independently of his parents. Seeing this little life growing around, supporting, recognizing and holding the child in this process is the love that parents give their children.
If there is no scientific parenting concept and methodology, but more self-righteous education, it will give children free room for growth!