Now there are more and more things about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and you can always hear about the disharmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. So, what is the reason for the disharmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?
1. Special relation
There are two basic family relationships: husband-wife relationship and parent-child relationship, which form the basis of family structure. Other relationships, such as brothers and sisters, sister-in-law, mother-in-law and grandchildren, are all derived from this. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has its particularity in family interpersonal relationship. It is neither a marriage relationship nor a blood relationship, but a special relationship formed by the above two relationships. Therefore, this interpersonal relationship has neither the stability of parent-child relationship nor the intimacy of marriage relationship. It is formed by the extension of parent-child relationship and husband-wife relationship. If handled well, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law each "love my house and my dog"-mother-in-law loves her daughter-in-law because she loves her son, and daughter-in-law loves her mother-in-law because she loves her husband, so the relationship between them will be harmonious. However, if it is not handled properly, there will be cracks between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which is difficult to make up.
2. Divergence of interests
The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live in the same family. The same affiliation naturally leads to the same economic interests, and both sides naturally want their families to prosper. This is the same side of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law But at the same time, there are often differences, contradictions and even infighting in the management and control of family affairs. Our family has the tradition of "men are the masters outside and women are the masters inside". The mother-in-law has been in charge of the family for decades, and now she gives power to her daughter-in-law, who plays a leading role in family affairs. It is often difficult for mother-in-law to adapt to this role change. Although some mothers-in-law are over 60 years old, they still want to maintain their economic dominance in the family, or it is difficult to accept the fact that their daughter-in-law is completely in charge of the family's economic power; The daughter-in-law is often unwilling to give in, which will inevitably lead to contradictions. Even if the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live in the same household, it is easy to have differences because of their different status, different angles of consideration and different needs. ?
3. Bad acceptance
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law used to live in different families, each with its own life background and habits. Now the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live in the same family, and there is a process of gradual understanding and mutual adaptation. If you can't adapt well and accept each other, there will be tension and contradiction. ?
4 intermediary imbalance?
In the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, sons play a very important intermediary role. If the son plays a good intermediary role, the emotional connection between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be strengthened. On the contrary, it is easy to become the focus of contradictions, and there is a dilemma of "being attacked on both sides". Despite the deep affection between mother and son, it is inevitable that this relationship will become complicated after marriage.
Xi Milan psychological counseling tips: when the marriage and family conflicts are difficult to solve, you should seek the help of psychological counselors from professional psychological counseling institutions in time.