In the process of consultation, listening and responding refers to the consultant's response to visitors after receiving and processing their information. * * * is divided into clarification reaction, content reaction, emotional reaction and induction.
I. Clarification reaction
When the clarification reaction is applied, it can be divided into four steps:
1. Confirm the verbal and non-verbal information of visitors.
2. Confirm any vague or confusing information that needs to be checked.
3. Determine the appropriate opening remarks. Use problems.
4. By listening and observing visitors' expressions and reactions, the effect of clarification reaction can be confirmed.
Case description:
Visitor: Male, Xiao Zhang, a freshman boy.
Visitor: I don't want to go to boring math class. What's the use of learning those things? I don't need it anymore anyway.
The counselor thought, What is he telling me?
Answer from the consulting room: He doesn't want to have a math class and thinks math is useless.
The consultant thinks: Is there any vague or missing part in Xiao Zhang's data? If so, what is it?
Answer from the consulting room: Does he really find math class boring? Or does he really think math is useless, or does he get poor grades in math, or has a problem with his math teacher?
Consultant thinking: how to start clarifying the response?
Counselor replied: Do you think math class itself is boring or that math is useless to you, so it is boring, or can you clarify the meaning of boring math class? Or what do you mean when you say you don't want to go to boring math class? Or can you tell me again what it means that math class is boring?
Second, the content response.
Content reflection is a reinterpretation of visitors' information content, which aims to help visitors pay attention to their own information content and highlight the information content when visitors pay attention to their emotions or self-denial prematurely.
The application content response can be divided into four steps:
1. Recall the information provided by visitors.
2. Identify the content part of the information.
3. Use appropriate sentences to express visitors' information in your own language, and pay attention to the statement tone.
4. Confirm the effect by listening and observing visitors' expressions and reactions.
Clarify the difference between reaction and content reflection;
1. The clarification response is a question, and the mood content response is a declarative mood.
2. Clarify the answer, use the visitor's own language, and the content reflects the consultant's language.
Case example:
Visitor: Ms. Liu, a 30-year-old professional woman.
Visitor: It's been a hard time for me. I just got promoted. My work is very busy. Last week, my father was hospitalized because of a heart attack. I have to go to the hospital to take care of him. My husband and children began to complain that they could only see me when they were sleeping. I don't know when the day will end.
The counselor thought, What did he tell me?
The consultant replied: it is difficult for him to do so many things at the same time.
The consultant thought: What is the content of the information?
Counselor's answer: Try to take good care of your father and reunite with your husband and children.
Counselors think: how to choose sentences close to the sensory vocabulary used by visitors.
The counselor replied: It sounds as if it is difficult for you to balance your current responsibilities, or it seems to me that there are many things that you need to spend your time doing.
3. Emotional reaction
Emotional response is a reinterpretation of the emotional part of visitors' information. Usually, in the initial stage of counseling, counselors need to use emotional reactions carefully. If emotional response is overused, visitors will feel uncomfortable, thus denying their emotional feelings. However, after establishing a good consultation relationship in the later stage of consultation, paying attention to the emotional reaction of visitors will greatly promote the consultation process.
When using emotional response, it can be divided into four steps:
1. Listen to the emotional words used by visitors.
2. Pay attention to the nonverbal information of visitors, such as body posture, facial expression and intonation characteristics. Nonverbal behavior is more difficult to control than verbal behavior, and it is a more reliable emotional indicator.
3. Choose appropriate words, give visitors emotional response, pay attention to the matching of emotional types and intensity levels, and sometimes add situational content before emotional response.
4. Evaluate whether the emotional response is effective and determine whether the visitors agree with the counselor's emotional response.
Case example:
Visitor: Xiao Wang, unmarried woman.
Visitor: (low voice, stuttering, eyes looking down, biting his lower lip, legs crossed. I don't know if I should tell my boyfriend about it. I lied to him about going on a business trip. Actually, um, I actually dated an online friend. Well, I have had two or three times. I dare not imagine what my boyfriend will do in the future. He always thought that we would get along well.
Counselor thinks: What kind of emotional words did the visitor use?
The counselor replied: No, I don't know if I should, except for suggestive words.
The consultant thinks and asks himself: What kind of feelings does her voice, tone, facial expression and body language express?
Counselor's answer: anxiety, contradiction and conflict embarrassment.
What words and intensity levels can psychological counselors choose to accurately describe the mood of visitors?
Counselors answer: anxiety, contradiction, conflict.
The consultant replied:
Counselor 1: You seem to be ambivalent and a little uneasy now.
Consultant 2: In my opinion, you didn't tell your boyfriend the truth, which made you feel very uneasy and contradictory.
Consultant 3: It seems that you are very uneasy about what you have done and have some contradictions in your heart.
Fourth, induction and summary.
Inductive summary is to condense the information of visitors with two or more sentences or emotional reactions.
Inductive summary can be divided into four steps.
1. Recall the information, verbal information and non-verbal information transmitted by visitors.
2. Identify obvious patterns, themes or multiple elements in visitor information.
3. Choose the appropriate opening remarks to summarize, use clay in personal pronouns, or directly use the visitor's name, summarize the theme expressed by the visitor in the consultant's own language and repeat it to the visitor, paying attention to using declarative tone instead of interrogative tone.
4. Evaluate whether the summary is effective and whether the visitors agree with the consultant's summary.
Case example:
Visitor: Xiao Zhang, male, college student, with Internet addiction.
Visitor: When surfing the Internet, I don't have to think about things I don't want to face. I don't study well. My family's hopes are pinned on me. Tuition is a loan. I know that surfing the Internet can't solve my problems. I understand all the reasons, but I can't help myself. I am very happy and relaxed when surfing the Internet. I don't have to think so much. This is something I can't understand when doing other things.
The counselor thinks: What did he tell me, what did he want to tell me, what did he care about and consider? What kind of feelings did he express?
Counselor's answer: the key content is that Internet addiction is not good for the study and life of visitors, and the key emotion is that surfing the Internet makes him feel happy and relaxed.
The consultant asked himself: what is the theme he repeated many times? What is the theme he emphasized? What is the subject of his hesitation? Does his message contain many elements?
Counselor's answer: Although surfing the Internet has had a bad influence on the study and life of the visitor, he continued to surf the Internet in order to get some happiness and relaxation. It seems that getting a good mood through surfing the Internet is more important than his study and his life.
Counselors think: how to choose the right words to summarize the theme of visitors?
The consultant replied:
I feel that you feel that surfing the internet can bring you a good feeling, so it is acceptable even if your study and life are affected.
Or:
You realize that surfing the Internet has brought a lot of trouble to your study and life. Even so, you still don't want to quit Internet addiction.
Or:
Do you think it's worth giving up your study life for surfing the Internet?
Finally, evaluate whether the induction summary is effective and confirm whether the visitors agree with the consultant's induction summary. If the visitor denies the counselor's summary, it may be that the counselor's summary is not accurate enough, or that the visitor is not ready to admit the problem.