Gong Beibei and her husband quarreled because of the problem of buying a house, and sent out all the pains they had endured in their hearts for many years:
When you come back from work every day, you will only ask me how Dabao went to school. Did Bauer eat well? Mom has high blood pressure.
I have never spoken to you, not once. Sometimes I want to talk to you after work, and you are already asleep. ?
Too many women, like Gong Beibei, seem to have husbands who eat and sleep together. But it's like having no husband. At the critical moment, they seem to be invisible.
They gave all their energy and enthusiasm to their work and friends. Speaking of their wives, they are neither too hot nor too cold. If they are a little unhappy, they will be impatient and even quarrel.
Ask yourself, have you ever cared about your wife's needs? Have you ever thought about your wife? What are you thinking?
I believe that most men are negative, and the relationship between them is getting worse and worse. Maybe it's a woman's responsibility to splash water around like a dissatisfied housewife.
However, if they don't vent in this paranoid and extreme way, you won't know her needs at all, and even if you see them, you will deliberately ignore them.
In marriage, not only women need to operate, but also men need to work hard.
Many times, a man's attitude towards his wife determines how far a marriage can go.
0 1
My friend got married recently, and everyone around me is envious. The other party is outstanding in appearance and manages in a big company. To many people, he is a rich man.
After marriage, friends need to take care of their families, so they don't have enough time to come out for afternoon tea and chat with us. Every day, besides work, it is family, 2: 00 and 1: 00.
This smooth sailing day did not last long, and the contradiction between the two people gradually surfaced.
Recently, my friend encountered problems at work. She is in a very bad mood. She complained to her husband after work, but the other party didn't listen at all. She looked absent-minded.
My friend was unhappy. Seeing her husband like this, she jumped with anger and quarreled directly with her husband.
The other side did not fall in the wind, and the two quarreled for a long time without results. In the end, they didn't talk to each other at all.
As you can imagine, they started the cold war, and friends thought about how the other side could understand her. She doesn't expect her husband to do anything, but only wants him to listen to her.
During the long cold war, the couple thought they had nothing to say to each other. No one wants to bow their heads and apologize first. Their friends don't want to be alone with him for a minute.
In the end, the two chose to divorce and solve the problem through separation.
The wife was unjustly accused by her mother-in-law. The husband only stands on his own side and blames you with his family.
The wife is too tired to take care of the children, and the husband would rather be blind than take the initiative to help with the children.
The wife has a stomachache during menstruation, and the husband doesn't even bother to say verbal comfort. What can she say at most? Drink more hot water? .
These husbands who can't see their wives' needs give them one? Widowed? I feel that I can only carry everything by myself, isolated and helpless, and I don't know what it is like to rely on it.
02
Two years ago, Xu Zhian reported infidelity, and photos and videos have become real hammers. He quickly held a press conference and apologized to his current wife, Sammi Cheng.
Just a month ago, Sammi Cheng also said frankly: Marriage is hard-won, and every couple should cherish and protect it. ?
Anyone who knows them knows that Sammi Cheng has done too much for Xu Zhian.
1996, Xu Zhian held his first concert. Sammi Cheng was ill and insisted on coming to the scene to support him.
In 2000, at the award ceremony, Sammi Cheng didn't react much when he learned that he won the prize, but Xu Zhian had tears in his eyes when he won the prize.
Later, Sammi Cheng experienced a low point in her life and was depressed. Xu Zhian did not accompany her to fight the disease, but chose to break up.
However, Sammi Cheng still continues to believe in Xu Zhian and stay with him, but he still can't see what Sammi Cheng has done for him and continues to do wrong.
Too many people take each other's efforts for granted, never care, and even deliberately hurt and trample on them.
You worked hard to cook a hot meal for him, but he took the liberty of drinking with his fair-weather friends. You heated the food again and again, and he finally came back, but the food was already cold.
You conceived him in October, and it was difficult, but he hooked up with others during your pregnancy, which made you chilling.
You tried to put up with the old man's unreasonable troubles, broke his teeth and swallowed them. He didn't thank you for anything, and he found fault in eggs.
These are not your problems, you have tried your best, but the other party is too harsh and doesn't care about your efforts.
I once heard a woman pour out her experience:
I married him because of love. There were no conditions at that time, only a two-bedroom apartment. We huddled with our in-laws. We were not used to it at first, but it was much better when we got used to it.
I was happy at first. He will take the initiative to share housework and balance the relationship between me and the two old people.
Later, after our efforts, it was changed into a big house of 120 square meters, and we moved in after simple decoration. Then I got pregnant and thought he would take care of me. However, the shelf life of love passes too fast.
The belly is getting bigger and bigger, it is more and more difficult to do anything, the mood is getting more and more excited, and I can't control my temper.
He went to work alone and became impatient. I can't hold my temper, but I can't vent too much, so I can't help hiding in the quilt and crying.
Our feelings began to deteriorate, and he even intensified his accusations for no reason. During the months of pregnancy, the whole person was gloomy.
Although people are selfish, the extremes meet. When two people are together and care too much about their own efforts, they will turn a blind eye to the efforts of others.
But since two people are married, the first thing to do is to respect each other.
Respect each other's efforts, habits and interests, not blindly interfere.
03
Psychologist William? Jeames said? The deepest need of human nature is to be appreciated by others. ?
Sun Li, the wife of guest Huang Lei, came to see him in the variety show "The Life I yearn for".
When Sun Li helped him with his work, Huang Lei kept praising him. Sister Li is so capable. ? The way two people look at each other is full of love.
Praising each other is a catalyst for feelings. Everyone is eager to be recognized and appreciated, but most people are just ordinary people and rarely praised.
In marriage, what scares women is never that men have no money, but that men are neglected and selfish.
Instead of criticizing, it is better to praise and encourage each other, see each other pay, and praise appropriately.
Adults, not talking is a kind of ability, and talking is a kind of wisdom.
Maintaining feelings between husband and wife is not that complicated at all. You only need to praise each other a few words every day to achieve your goal.