Today, I will take you to understand what psychological needs women have in intimate relationships.
Women are natural emotional animals. This sentence means that women put love first. This sentence does not mean that women "choose" to put love and intimacy first-but that love is the most important thing in women's subconscious. They don't need to "think about love and intimacy", but love and intimacy are "always in their minds", so they need to keep in touch with their lover.
Psychological research found that this is also the biggest difference of Seven Lonely Days. There is no transformation when women enter the consciousness of love-because they have been in this consciousness most of the time, whether they express it or not. On the contrary, most men must deliberately choose to switch to the love mode. Why is this happening? Because men and women have different perceptions of self-worth: women define and evaluate themselves by the success or failure of love and intimacy. On the other hand, men define and evaluate themselves according to their abilities and achievements.
In fact, a woman's greatest psychological need is one word-love, and love must be put in the first place. Dr. Angelis, a famous American expert on gender relations, once said that as long as women's three core needs are met, their needs for love can be met. What are these three core requirements? The answer is: 1. A sense of security. 2. Sense of connection. 3. sense of value.
In intimate relationships, one of the most basic needs of women is a sense of security. Only when a woman deeply feels that this relationship is stable and that you are serious and love her wholeheartedly, will a woman believe the love she feels and fully open her heart, pay and accept it. So how can we give women the sense of security they need? I can give you some suggestions below.
First, with you, women can feel safe. I can give you an example. When consulting a case before, a girl said to me:
She said, "In the past, he would go home as soon as he got off work, so even if he was not with me for the time being, all he wanted was to be with me as soon as possible, which would make me feel safe."
"Also, when my boyfriend plans how to spend our next holiday early, I will feel that he doesn't want to lose me and cares about me very much. I am very important to him. " It will also make me feel safe.
After listening to the above case, do you understand now?
In fact, every woman has a barometer in her heart to measure how long we spend together or apart, which will make us feel safe or uneasy. For a woman, spending special moments with her beloved is one of the most reassuring things in intimate relationships. On the other hand, if you rarely spend special time together, her inner sense of security will naturally decline.
Second, you are willing to walk into her inner world. If you can take the initiative to understand her inner thoughts, it will also make women feel safe.
So what exactly should we do? I can give you some suggestions below:
1, chat with her often and share some details of your work and life with her. When she speaks, you should concentrate and listen patiently.
2. Always keep physical contact. Because body movements are also a language, we can convey our feelings by holding hands, hugging or kissing.
3. Express love: Always say I love you, I miss you and I need you.
Do you remember your girlfriend often asking: Will you love me forever? What if you change your mind later? Because in a woman's mind, she often worries that your love for her will change and decrease with the passage of time or something new happens. So if you can express your love for her more, she won't always ask you to give her a sense of security with all kinds of entangled questions or behaviors.
Okay, that's enough security. Now let's talk about the sense of connection. So what does a sense of connection mean?
The sense of connection actually refers to creating an intimate experience and crossing the gap between yourself and others or other things. What women do, big or small, is mostly to establish contact. For example, men can never figure out why girls always like to go together in the toilet. What's the appointment to go to the bathroom? The answer is here-to establish contact. When a woman feels connected, she feels safe. She will feel that she has allies and supporters, and she is not alone. On the contrary, women who have no sense of connection will feel fear or loss.
Therefore, for a woman in an intimate relationship, two people staying together or combining together does not represent a real connection. In addition to engaging in certain activities and physical contact together, two people also need inner intimacy, which is the sense of connection.
Remember the different definitions of self-worth between men and women I mentioned at the beginning? -women define and evaluate themselves by the success or failure of love and intimacy.
Satisfying a woman's sense of value can be summed up in two words-value-in your heart, she is important, so that women can get great satisfaction of value.
For example, you must remember her birthday and important anniversaries. Express your thoughts about her once in a while and let her know that even if she is not with you, she is very important in your heart.
In short, women are natural emotional animals with delicate minds. Maybe you will find it difficult for a woman to understand and satisfy, but as long as you learn these tips, win her heart and keep her heart, it will become a very simple thing.