Few or even no friends?
If you find fewer and fewer friends in middle age, you are likely to go downhill.
In other words, in the eyes of others, you are going downhill.
When I was in the county office, I served the class of the main leaders, and there were many people around me to say hello, and so were many wineries.
Later, when I arrived in the city, although my position was improved and the unit level was also high, the Zhengyanshi was somewhat like a clear water yamen.
I am not a noisy person. I used to worry about pushing the wine field. Now it's good for me to have a field every month.
In the past two years, my family and career have not been very smooth. I can clearly feel that my friends around me are sparse, and some people I have contacted before often have nothing to say.
But you can't blame anyone.
The time of middle-aged people is very precious.
You have to work, socialize, relax after work, accompany your lover and children when you have a family, and finally it is inevitable to have a baby chicken and let the children go to various remedial classes.
For middle-aged people, there are really too many problems and troubles to be solved.
The poor live in downtown areas, but the rich have distant relatives in the mountains. It's not that human feelings are cold and warm, but that the world is cold.
If a middle-aged person still has a lot of time to make friends and socialize, then he is probably a well-off person, which is great happiness for middle-aged people.
Unfortunately, most people, middle-aged, have already become passers-by in this rolling world of mortals and are trapped in the quagmire of life.
By the way, I will take the initiative to send blessing messages to my old classmates and friends during the Chinese New Year.
But this Mid-Autumn Festival, only more than 20 people sent me messages.
Most of them are still the same image of the unit.
When I was young, I read "Fan Jinzhong Residence", and I only felt that this article was very noisy, so cool and exaggerated.
Last year, a young girl from the unit next door was admitted to the Ministry. I don't know her very well, and I haven't even sent a congratulatory message.
Later, my colleague told me that even the police near her home treated her to a meal. Before leaving, she didn't break her seat for a month, and she also said something about distant places and relatives, and came to congratulate her. Finally, she was sent to Beijing by special bus.
Now I understand that Teacher Cheng won't bully me.
Most people are not without time, nor are they ignorant of emotional intelligence. They all know how to greet each other in festivals, how to close the distance by eating half-baked food, and how to give satisfactory gifts naturally. ...
I just think it's a little wasteful to spend time on you. Many people use "fair-weather friends" to advertise some dirty and disdainful people.
What is the standard of fair-weather friends?
According to the standards of the general public, the so-called fair-weather friends are people who spend time together but can't provide substantial help for themselves.
Baidu Chinese explains fair-weather friends as friends who only eat, drink and have fun together, and can't have trouble.
Our childhood playmates, playing truant together, chasing girls together in the Internet cafe, mostly "spent time together".
Now that we are separated from each other and have our own circle, even a few pleasantries seem sluggish.
Is there any difference in essence?
After all, many people have high hopes for others and regard friendship and love as some kind of sustenance and support of life.
I didn't mean to be sarcastic when I gave that example, because it often happens to you and me.
People tend to recall people who hold high positions or succeed in the secular sense more easily and flaunt them as their friends. "I have a friend who works in a department now." "I have a friend who now earns tens of millions ..."
After all, friends are not two-way street by nature.
Most friendships are actually unequal in the balance of goodwill and psychology.
Especially for friends who are in high positions or can provide substantial help, people tend to overestimate their goodwill in each other's hearts and will have resentment after their demands are rejected.
When something really happens to you, maybe the so-called fair-weather friend gave you five jobs and didn't ask you to return them. Mr. Wang, who has known you for twenty years, kicked you out of the office.
Not only do you not believe in love, but you also don't believe in friendship.
For example, if your friend is Dong Ge, and Dong Ge talks with you every week and does nothing but business, will you tell others that Dong Ge is a fair-weather friend?
Not only will I not, but I may also say on other occasions that I know Brother Dong very well and often drink together.
Friends have different functions. Like other things in the world, they cannot provide universal values.
Just as a rice bowl can't be used to grow flowers, washing powder can't wash your hands. Some friends travel together, chat with each other and blow water, killing some unnecessary time. Some friends met in the process of starting a business and became comrades-in-arms for the same goal for several years.
Some friends meet the soul and the mountains and rivers flow harmoniously, but this is a rare fate after all.
Most of our friends in this life belong to the first kind. Back to this question, why do middle-aged people have fewer and fewer friends, or even no friends?
Because most middle-aged people have no improvement or even career, and some have been optimized by their own employers, naturally there is no second one.
Friends of the soul are rare, and it is extremely difficult to appreciate each other's essence, which most people do not have.
My life is full of all kinds of trifles, including old people and young people. When I woke up, the mortgage reminded me. The less time I can spend, the less friends of the first kind.
So there seems to be no friends.