Morning meeting short humorous story 1 A said to B: "I want to leave this company, I hate this company!" " B suggestion: "I raise my hands in favor of your revenge!" " ! This broken company must give it some color to see see. But now is not the best time for you to leave. "
Q: Why? B said, "If you leave now, the company will not lose much. You should take advantage of the opportunity in the company, try your best to attract some customers for yourself, become a unique figure in the company, and then suddenly leave the company with these customers, and the company will suffer heavy losses and be very passive. "
A thinks what B said is very reasonable. So he worked hard and got what he wanted. After more than half a year's efforts, he has many loyal customers. When we meet again, B asks A, "Now is the time. Let's jump up and act quickly! " A smiled indifferently: "The boss and I have talked for a long time and are going to promote me to be the assistant to the general manager. I have no plans to leave for the time being. "
Experience: A person's work, only pay more than get, let the boss really see that your ability is greater than your position, will give you more opportunities to create more profits for him.
An old man was fishing by the river, and a child walked by to watch him fish. The old man was very skilled, so he soon caught a basket full of fish. The old man thinks the child is cute and wants to give him the whole basket of fish. The child shook his head, and the old man asked in surprise, "Why not?"
The child replied, "I want the fishing rod in your hand." The old man asked, "What do you need a fishing rod for?" The child said, "This basket of fish will be finished soon. If I have a fishing rod, I can fish by myself and eat for a lifetime. "
I think you will say: What a clever boy. Wrong. If he only wants a fishing rod, he can't eat any fish. Because he doesn't know fishing skills, it's useless to have a fishing rod, because fishing is not about fishing rods, but about fishing skills.
Experience: too many people think that they have a fishing rod on the road of life and are no longer afraid of the wind and rain on the road, so they will inevitably fall on the muddy ground. It's like a child looking at the old man and thinking that as long as there is a fishing rod, there will be endless fish, just like a clerk looking at the boss and thinking that as long as he sits in the office, money will roll in.
Morning meeting short humorous story 3 An aunt mistakenly joined a doctoral group. Someone asked: A drop of water falls freely from a very high place. Will it hurt or kill?
The group immediately became lively, and all kinds of formulas, assumptions, calculations of resistance, gravity and acceleration were fully discussed for nearly an hour. At this moment, my aunt asked quietly: Have you never been caught in the rain?
There was a sudden silence in the crowd ... and then, and then the aunt was kicked out of the group.
Lesson: Knowledge can bring you more ways of thinking, but experience can help you solve problems faster.
A humorous story at the morning meeting: A pig, a sheep and a cow were kept in the same corral. Once, the shepherd caught the pig, and it screamed loudly and resisted fiercely. Sheep and cows hate its howling, so they say, "He often catches us, and we don't bark."
The pig replied, "catching you and catching me are two different things." He only wants your hair and milk, but it's killing him to catch me! "
Experience: it is difficult for people with different positions and different environments to understand each other's feelings; Therefore, we should not gloat over the setbacks, setbacks and pains of others, but should have a feeling of care and understanding. Have a tolerant heart.
A man bought a fish for his wife to cook, and then went to the movies by himself. His wife wanted to go with him. The man said, "it's a waste of money for two people to see." You make the fish well, and when I come back from watching it, I will share the story with you while eating. "
When the man came back from watching it, he didn't see any fish, so he asked his wife, "Where are the fish?" The wife calmly found a chair to sit down and said, "I ate all the fish." Come, sit down and I'll tell you about the taste of fish. "
Be a man, that's what you should do. I will treat you as you treat me.
Experience: there is a classic saying: "I give you a candy, you are happy." When you see me giving two others, you have an opinion of me. " But you don't know that he also gave me two sweets, and you never gave me anything. "
In the year of college entrance examination, I got 200 points, and my mother's friend's children got 680 points. My child has gone to a key university, and I want to work. Nine years later, the child's mother showed off to me and her mother that her son had applied for a project manager with a monthly salary of over 10,000 yuan … but I was wondering: Should I hire him?
Experience: Dedicated to all children with poor grades: You may not go to college, but you should never stop fighting.
In a remote town in France, it is said that there is a particularly effective spring, and miracles often occur, which can cure various diseases.
One day, a veteran who was on crutches and lost a leg limped across the street in the town. The villagers nearby gave a sympathetic kiss back and said, "Poor guy, is he going to pray to God for another leg?"
This sentence was heard by veterans. He turned to them and said, "I don't want to ask God for a new leg, but I want to ask him to help me so that I can know how to live without one."
Experience: Learn to be grateful for the lost and accept the lost fact. Regardless of the gains and losses of life, always make your life full of light and glory, stop crying for the past and work hard for a high live and high life.
Morning meeting short humorous story 8 Wei asked a famous doctor, "You three brothers are all very good at medical skills, which one is the best?" Bian Que replied: "The eldest brother is the best, the second brother is the second, and I am the worst." . "King Wen asked again," Then why are you the most famous? "
Bian Que replied, "My eldest brother treated me before I got sick. Because most people don't know that he can eradicate the cause in advance, his fame can't spread, only our family knows. My brother treated this disease at the early stage of his illness. Most people think that he can only cure minor illnesses, so his fame is limited to his own village. And I, Bian Que, treated my illness when it was very serious. Most people have seen me perform major operations, such as pricking needles in the meridians to bleed blood and applying medicine to the skin, so I think my medical skills are brilliant and my reputation has spread all over the country. " King Wen said, "You speak very well."
There are three rich people of different nationalities who are going to be put in prison for three years. The warden gives each of them a request.
The American rich man loves to smoke cigars and asked for three boxes of cigars.
This French rich man is the most romantic and needs beautiful women to accompany him.
There is also a Jewish rich man who wants a telephone to communicate with the outside world.
Three years later, the first person who rushed out was an American, with a cigar in his mouth and shouting, "Give me a fire, give me a fire!" " "It turned out that he forgot to make a fire.
Then the French came. I saw a child in his hand, a beautiful woman holding a child in her hand and a third one in her belly.
Finally, the Jews came out. He held the warden's hand tightly and said, "I have been in contact with the outside world every day for three years." My business has not stopped, but has increased by 200%. To express my gratitude, I want to send you an old Schleswig! "
This story tells us that what kind of choice determines what kind of life. Today's wealth is determined by our choices three years ago, and today's financial wisdom choices will determine our wealth three years later. We should choose to get in touch with the latest information and understand the latest trends, so as to better create our future wealth.
Morning meeting short humorous story 10 A noble owner's horse was stolen. The next day, he published this statement in all the newspapers: "If I don't return the horse to me, then I will take the extraordinary measures taken by my father in this situation."
The threat took effect. The thief didn't know what serious consequences would happen, but he thought it might be some terrible punishment. He was afraid, so he secretly returned the horse.
The noble master is very happy to have such an ending. He told his friends that he was lucky because he didn't have to follow in his father's footsteps.
"But how did your father do it?" A friend asked him.
"Do you want to know how my father did it? Well, I'll tell you one thing ... once, he lived in a hotel and his horse was stolen, so he tied a belt around his neck and walked home with a saddle on his back. If the thief is not so kind and polite, I swear, I will do as my father did! "
Morning Humor Story 1 1 There was a Beijinger who sold a quadrangle in Gulou Street 1984 to raise 300,000 yuan for the dream of going abroad. He left his hometown to go to Italy for gold ... He ate, stayed in the rain, delivered takeout in the rain, and learned a foreign language in the middle of the night. ...
I have worked hard and thrived, and now I have been in my temple for 30 years. Finally, I saved 8 million yuan and planned to return to China to enjoy the glory. Once in Beijing, it was found that the quadrangle sold in that year was listed on the intermediary for 80 million yuan, and it collapsed in an instant. ...
Perhaps, people's life is mostly busy ... sometimes, choice is more important than hard work!
Morning meeting short humorous story 12 John met his good friend Mike in the street and said to him, "I have a very troublesome thing." I really don't know what to do? "
"What is it? We are good friends. If you have any difficulties, you should tell me. Maybe I can help you. "
"I am in love."
"This is a good thing. How can you feel trouble? " Mike asked incredulously.
"I fell in love with two girls at the same time. One of them is beautiful, but she has no money. The other is not beautiful, but rich. Who do you think I should choose? "
"The beautiful one, of course. What is money these days? " Mike answered firmly.
"Yes!" John said, "Thank you for your good idea. Goodbye. " Say that finish and turn around and go.
"Wait a minute, John." Mike stopped him. "Can you tell me the address of the rich girl?
Morning meeting short humorous story 13 once upon a time, there were a pair of good friends named rabbit and lamb.
One day, the rabbit and the lamb happily went to the teacher's house to learn to draw. The teacher asked the rabbit to draw a small fish, and the lamb drew a very ordinary bear. Teacher goat said happily, "Lamb, your painting is great."
The rabbit said, "Well painted, what's the big deal?" So the rabbit left angrily.
The next day, the lamb met the rabbit in the street. The lamb said, "Yesterday …". Before the lamb finished speaking, the rabbit said, "Do you dare to compare words with me?
"All right," said the lamb.
The white rabbit accidentally miscalculated, four, eight, three, thirteen, while the lamb calculated accurately and quickly.
The little white rabbit said, "Do you dare to write with me?" As a result, the white rabbit wrote many typos, and the lamb wrote beautifully and neatly.
This time, the white rabbit was completely convinced. It's not a bad thing to like to compare with others. Only competition can make progress. However, be as serious as a lamb, so as to make progress.
Morning meeting short humorous story 14 On Valentine's Day, Arlene received a courier early in the morning: a big bunch of flowers from her husband! Such a big bunch of flowers, we need to find a bigger bottle. Arlene searched for a long time and found an old vase in the humble corner of the utility room, which was just the right size.
When cleaning the vase, Arlene found that something seemed to be stuffed at the bottom of the bottle. She reached into the bottom of the bottle and pulled it out with difficulty. That's a plastic bag. Arlene opened it and was surprised to find that it was a photo of her rival Xiaoli and a love letter written by Xiaoli to her husband.
Arlene is angry: after ten years of marriage, she still hides the keepsake of her ex-lover! After calming down, she thought about it-Xiaoli died in childbirth a few years ago, and her husband missed Xiaoli, indicating that he was a sentimental person. What's the harm in letting your husband keep a piece of private land?
Arlene adjusted her mind, wrapped the love letter and photos intact, put them in a sealed bag, put them at the bottom of the bottle, filled them with clear water, and carefully arranged flowers.
In the evening, when my husband came home from work, he saw the flowers he sent at a glance and was full of joy. But when he saw the old vase, he froze.
Arlene said, "I'm going downstairs to buy salt." She turned and walked out of the door. After a while, Arlene came back. She found some water stains on the table and her husband's sleeves were a little wet. She smiled knowingly.
Since then, my husband has often brought back flowers for Arlene, and the family is full of laughter. ...
No matter how close a couple is, they should leave some space for each other. Don't let their relationship be airtight, which may be one of the secrets of managing a good marriage!
Morning meeting short humorous story 15 A bunch of "waste wine bottles" in the garbage station are bragging to each other.
The bottle "Niu Er" sighed proudly and said, "It's too difficult to do business now, just earn hundreds of thousands!"
"Yes, house prices have gone up very badly, and more than one million people have to buy a house casually!" The bottle "old village head" hurriedly finished speaking and smiled at the bottle "Niu Er". The two goods were complacent.
Suddenly, the bottle of Maotai lying in the corner spoke: "What? Count? Last time I invited a section chief to drink, that guy easily greedy 200 million! "
"bang!" The bottle "Niu Er" was so surprised that the lid flew. ...
Morning meeting short humorous story 16 Ji Xiaolan was compiling Sikuquanshu, and one day in midsummer, he sat shirtless in front of the book case. At this moment, Gan Long suddenly arrived. Disdressed, seeing a driver is guilty of cheating you, let alone Ji Xiaolan! He panicked and quickly hid under the table. Actually, Qianlong had already seen it, waved around and told them to be quiet, and then sat down at the table where Ji Xiaolan was hiding. After a long time, Ji Xiaolan felt breathless and listened to the silence outside. Because the table was covered, he couldn't see it, and he didn't know if the emperor had left. So he secretly stretched out a middle finger and asked in a low voice, "Is the old man gone?"
Angry and funny, Gan Long deliberately shouted, "How presumptuous! Who is here? Get out! "
Ji Xiaolan had no choice but to climb out and kneel on the ground. Gan Long said, "Why do you call me an old man? I'll spare you if you have a point, or hum. "
Ji Xiaolan replied: "Long live your Majesty and should be called' old'; Respect for the king, the head of the country, and the people wear it, of course, is the' head'; Son,' favored by heaven' also. Calling' old man' is the supreme title. "
"Then what is this middle finger?"
"On behalf of' Jun', it is the king of' Heaven and Earth'." Ji Xiaolan reached out a hand and moved his middle finger, saying, "From left, heaven and earth are teachers, and the middle finger is a gentleman; Counting from the right, heaven and earth are close, and the middle finger is still king; So the middle finger represents Jun. "
Gan Long said with a smile: "You used your quick wits, which is commendable. You are innocent!"
Morning meeting short humorous story 17 Once upon a time, there was a private school teacher with a clay doll on his desk. Every time after class, the teacher goes out to smoke a pack of cigarettes and lets the students watch their writing homework in the classroom. When he left, he would say to the clay doll, "Look carefully, which naughty boy is fooling around in class. I'll ask you when I come back. "
As soon as the teacher left, the students naturally lost their restraint, and some naughty ones began to laugh and play.
After the teacher comes back, check his homework first. After reading it, I have a bottom in my heart I looked down and solemnly asked the clay doll who was dishonest today. Then, stick your ear to the mouth of the clay doll and look at the students while nodding. After all, the child is still young, and when the troubled child is flustered, his face will show it. At this time, the teacher will straighten up and nod and say, "Oh, I see, Wang Hu and Zhang Wang are the worst troublemakers ..." So, the teacher will call them to the front, no more, no less, and everyone will clap three hands.
On this day, the teacher went out to smoke another bag of cigarettes. Thinking of the "Snitch" of the clay doll, several leather kings were furious and stopped fighting, so they encouraged Li Chuang to smash the clay doll and promised to treat him to a full meal as long as he smashed the clay doll.
Li Chuang thought for a moment and said, "Well, keep your word!" Say that finish, put the clay doll on the ground, picked up the teacher's board and smashed it three times.
The teacher came back and found that the clay doll was broken, so he asked, "How did this clay doll break?"
Li Chuang said, "Teacher, I broke it." The teacher paused and asked, "Why did you break it?"
Li Chuang said confidently, "Because it speaks ill of the teacher."
The teacher asked angrily, "Nonsense, how can a clay doll talk?"
Li Chuang waited for the teacher's words and immediately asked, "Clay dolls can't talk. Why do you have to ask every time you come back? "
Morning meeting short humorous story 18 May Day, we seldom get together, and Lao Wang drank too much as a result. He went to the bathroom, so did I. Afraid of his accident. He came out of the toilet and I went to the toilet.
I didn't see Lao Wang when I came out, so I went back to the table and started drinking. They asked me where Lao Wang was, and I said that he might have gone back.
They said: impossible, he can't go back in such a short time.
We'll come out and look for it right away.
I walked to the pigsty next to the toilet and heard a conversation.
Lao Wang was drunk and slept in the pigsty.
He didn't feel it yet, and said, big nephew, I have long taken a fancy to my nephew's daughter-in-law, so I won't go tonight and sleep here.
The pig, led by old Wang Zhan, couldn't help humming.
Lao Wang was angry and shouted, What are you humming? I will leave at dawn tomorrow. She is still yours.
Morning Story 19 One day, a beggar came to this village and heard a loud noise. The host is welcoming the guests in white mourning, and he knows that people have left. At this time, the beggar was really hungry. In order to make a living, he didn't consider whether the family was male or female, whether it was old or young, so he crustily skin of head and cried and said, "Hey, my friend, my good friend, you just left ..."
Without knowing it, the descendants of this family really thought it was a beggar friend that his father knew before his death, so they welcomed him home and gave him a full meal. When he left, he also sent some clothes worn by his father and packed some food.
I don't know how long it took before this beggar met this kind of thing in another village. The beggar pretended to cry again and said, "Hey ... my old friend, my good friend ..."
Before the beggar finished reading, the children at home quickly gathered around and punched and kicked. The beggar quickly begged, "Stop fighting, stop fighting, I just want to make a living." Don't you have to kill me? "
Everybody stop. The son said angrily, "I'll let you eat the land if you want to beg normally today. It's strange that you ruin my mother's reputation in this way without killing you today!" When he finished, he wanted to continue to be beaten by his elderly relatives. The beggar got up and ran away in fear.
Morning Humor Story 20 Zhou Xiao and his girlfriend Xiao Gan went shopping together and were in high spirits. Suddenly, a man rushed over, grabbed the diamond ring that Xiao Gan wore on his hand, and then ran away. Zhou Xiao paused, then woke up and suddenly understood.
This man is obviously good at long-distance running. In a short time, he ran more than 2000 meters, but Zhou Xiao kept shaking his legs and followed the man closely. Soon, the two ran more than 2000 meters. When the man found that he couldn't get rid of Zhou Xiao, he was very anxious. He stopped and pulled out a sharp knife to frighten Zhou Xiao, but Zhou Xiao jumped on the man without hesitation and fought with his bare hands.
Finally, Zhou Xiao pressed the man down and got the diamond ring back. At this time, the police came, swarmed and handcuffed the man. The man murmured breathlessly, "I didn't expect to meet an expert today." I admit it! "
The man was taken to the police station. After investigation, it was found that the man was a recidivist. In recent years, with neat legs and good kung fu, he has robbed 100 times and never lost a hand.
A policeman couldn't help praising Zhou Xiao: "Zhou Xiao, you have good physical quality and boxing skills. You have struggled with this habitual criminal for so long that you finally subdued him. We thank you! "
Corey Zhou was about to speak when Xiao Gan curled his lips and interjected, "Zhou Xiao has always been thin and weak, and he can't do anything at all. When he was in college, physical education class made up the exam! "
Hearing this, the policeman said, "It seems that he can catch this recidivist because of his bravery-Zhou Xiao, you are so brave!"
Zhou Xiao nodded and said, "What's not brave? I just gave this diamond ring to Xiao Gan yesterday. In order to buy this diamond ring, I have been scrimping and saving all day. I have porridge in the morning, steamed bread with pickles at noon and steamed bread with pickles at night. If I can't find this diamond ring today, I can only buy a new one and drink porridge every morning ... I don't want to suffer twice and suffer twice again! "